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Cloud Cuckoo-Land


ErosWired

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Note: This entry relates to issues I’m still thinking about, and may be later revised if I do any more braining.

——

As I read the topics and posts of this forum, I am often struck with a sense that there are two different communities here, existing side-by-side, intermingling as though they were one, yet profoundly different.

I’m not talking about the poz/neg divide, or the Top/bottom divide, or the chaser/non-chaser divide, or the divide between CD/TG and M/M attraction. I’m referring to the divide between those who live this lifestyle and those who live it vicariously - those for whom this is fantasy.

Fantasy has been defined as “the faculty or activity of imagining things, especially things that are impossible or improbable”.  A related concept is Cloud Cuckoo-Land, which is a calque of the ancient Greek Νεφελοκοκκυγία, coined by Aristophanes to describe an imaginary place where unrealistic people metaphorically reside.

A discerning reader of these boards comes in time to develop a sense that some accounts of sexual adventure have the ring of truth; others, the stamp of fiction. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with those writings that express an aspiration rather than an experience - each heart must have its voice. But there are points at which the two currents cross where the difference is illuminated in contrast.

For instance, on the question of “whether a true cumdump should be on PrEP”, the discussion is peppered with opinions to the effect that ‘a cumdump should take ANY and ALL toxic loads’. This is not a statement of a reasoned view; it does not consider the realistic human elements of the question that occur naturally to a person who has lived the experience; they are expressions of an imagined situational model, constructed to titillate the imaginer. Within the confines of the imaginer’s mind, this presents no issue. But injected into the arena of public discourse in the guise of experience, it muddies the waters of debate.

A similar phenomenon bedevils the entire world of online gay cruising. Two groups are in the same arena, at first glance all in pursuit of the same objective, but in fact incompatibly dissimilar. On the one hand are those men genuinely attempting to meet others for real, person-to-person contact; and on the other, those whose goal is to achieve titillation by purely virtual means. The result is that the second group gets its satisfaction at the expense of the first.

In a hypothetical scenario in which this forum could be successfully segregated into discrete areas, one for those discussing their actual lived experiences, and the other for those expressing their unlived fantasies, what would be the result? Would each group flourish, enabled to grow through purity of purpose? Or would the groups falter, each needing something that the other provides?

Can the fantasists fully indulge in their internal creations without a voyeur’s ingestion of accounts from a real world where truth excites more than fiction? Would those who have made the choices to live sexually adventurous lives have done so without original exposure to the products of fantasy?

For my part, I find the problem particularly difficult in that the true narrative of my sexual life over the last 15 years is so outside the norm that it reads like fiction. Because of the hyperbolic statements and writings men make in expression of their sexual fantasies, I run the distinct risk of my real story being dismissed as fantasy. It is as though I have encountered an actual minotaur in an actual labyrinth and been actually fucked by him with his 11” bull-cock (true story; just substitute ‘marine’ for ‘minotaur’ and ‘Fort Knox’ for ‘labyrinth’) and nobody on earth will believe that it happened to me because, well, that’s outrageous, for God’s sake.

I’m actually going to try to publish an explicit written account of my experiences, but I’ll have no choice but to change the names of people and places to protect the... well, to protect the complicit. And that will do nothing but give it more of the flavor of fantasy.

It makes me want to climb onto the roof of the bathhouse and shout to all the world - “I HAVE BEEN FUCKED BY MORE MEN IN MORE WAYS IN MORE PLACES THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY BELIEVE AND I WANT TO DO EVERY BIT OF IT AGAIN TOMORROW AFTER A GANGBANG TONIGHT - I LOVE COCK AND CUM AND I GIVE SWEET, SWEET ASS, I’M A SLUTTY CUMDUMP SLUT AND I’M NOT ASHAMED OF IT ONE FUCKING BIT!”

And I can hear the guys in the parking lot below going, “Pft. Listen to that. He’s probably never had his lips around a cock in his life. Bless.”

So I guess those of us who are really, truly, bravely, boldly living the dream must take our satisfaction in the experiences themselves, separated from the world of sexual fantasy that swirls around us.

Isn’t that ironic?

This is ErosWired, reporting from Cloud Cuckoo-Land.

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I understand what you mean about the life you are living seems like fantasy to many. 

I have the top version of that...

I always worry that the number of men I plunder at a sex party (and then write up for the blog) sounds like I am inflating the figures.  It's actually the opposite.  I fuck way more holes--usually not memorable enough to talk about.

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Preach!  I've often had similar thoughts (though not so eloquently organized).  My reality and your reality can be very different.  It doesn't take long to figure out who the tourists are and who are the kindred souls!

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1 hour ago, phukhole said:

I've often had similar thoughts (though not so eloquently organized).  My reality and your reality can be very different.  It doesn't take long to figure out who the tourists are and who are the kindred souls!

*sigh* But you said in two sentences basically what took me 13 paragraphs...

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Right?!?!? I LOL'ed when I read "...usually not memorable enough to talk about.".   He has too!  I've been lucky enough to be at MAL and IML when he was and he racks up quite the numbers (and on film sometimes too!)   Yes, @FelchingPisserwe're talking about you.  Hope your ears are burning!  ❤️❤️❤️ 

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EW: "Would each group flourish, enabled to grow through purity of purpose? Or would the groups falter, each needing something that the other provides?"

Most likely they would, since the fantasists depend on the doers-of-the-deeds to fuel their imaginations.  It's regrettable, but it's understandable that some guys just don't hav the balls to do what they know they need to do.  Thus, one of my earlier posts regarding Behavior.  The fantasies are fine, but nothing counts until on actually adjusts one's behavior and gets out there.  

EW: "The result is that the second group gets its satisfaction at the expense of the first."

Not necessarily.  As you point out, the fantasies (or realizations) do begin at some point in each of our lives, and some are honest enough to not only hear the Call, but follow their hearts and minds and go do it.  I don't see how other men's fantasies take place at the expense of those who do act upon discovering/realizing their truth.  There is one obvious exception though - and that is when the dreamers actually reach out to the doers, make a phony plan to meet, with no intention of follow-through.  Those dishonest guys are, in my book, cowards - able only to fantasize about who and what they are, but ill-equipped to actually do it.  Their orgasms are hollow indeed, as they sit in their rooms pretending to be what they fear.  I very much doubt that any man dismisses you as one of these phonies.  If there are one or two, they denigrate themselves to the Community they are trying to affect.  There is not one whiff of insincerity in your posts.  

EW: "I’m actually going to try to publish an explicit written account of my experiences, but I’ll have no choice but to change the names of people and places to protect the... well, to protect the complicit. And that will do nothing but give it more of the flavor of fantasy".

I realize that this post was written almost 3 years ago, long before I found this site.  If you already have published this work, I would love to purchase several copies, one for myself, and the rest as gifts to certain men I know who wrestle with the above-referenced dilemma.  In the event you have yet to publish, I would offer that it is entirely unreasonable and impossible to contact so many men, most of which you may not even know their names.  Of course you must alter any actual names or contact information without specific permission in advance.  

EW: "It makes me want to climb onto the roof of the bathhouse and shout to all the world - “I HAVE BEEN FUCKED BY MORE MEN IN MORE WAYS IN MORE PLACES THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY BELIEVE AND I WANT TO DO EVERY BIT OF IT AGAIN TOMORROW AFTER A GANGBANG TONIGHT - I LOVE COCK AND CUM AND I GIVE SWEET, SWEET ASS, I’M A SLUTTY CUMDUMP SLUT AND I’M NOT ASHAMED OF IT ONE FUCKING BIT!”

I've written it all before ... you already know what I think about the above.  Are there any more posts regarding reporting from Cloud Cuckoo Land?  I haven't yet found all your previous posts ...

It really is all about servicing Cock/Hole/Sperm

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Excellent post that I am just discovering, unfortunately I am not much of a "fantasist" or writer. I will admit to enjoying reading what some of the fantasists have written at times, and because I enjoy it have made a few aborted attempts to write some myself. Unfortunately I quickly run out of ideas on what to write and unless I am reliving an actual exceptional sexual experience I have had feel like I am just rehashing/plagiarising someone else's work. While I very much enjoy the sex I do have, and I will concede that it is considerable when I'm not complaining about how seldom I get laid, most of it isn't that exceptional at least to me.

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