So, here I sit, coming down from three days of partying. Feel like shit but the butt is tingling - so there are advantages.

I never was very good at pointing myself. Primarily, it is because I have thin shallow veins. I can get the first one okay most time but after that it is hit or miss. Mostly, miss. Sometimes at the end of a session, my arms look like that of a hard core junkie. I started pointing back in the 80s and luckily I had admins around to assist. When I was left to doing it myself, the frustration caused me to quit. I am amazed that those of you who can slam and remain calm enough to do more slams latter on. Guys, if it is good T, I will shake like a leaf after the first injection and that's how all the other ones afterwards get blown. I try breath control, concentration, you name it to calm my self down and nothing works.

After the session before this past weekend, I was firm in stating that if I keep blowing it, I was going to stop slamming (again like I did back in the 80s). So, I started Friday night. After the first slam which was okay - not the best product - I decided to do a bigger slam. I loaded the syringe, swabbed the area and proceeded at usual and as I am placing the needle to hit the vein I identified, I realize I am not shaking. Damn good hit. This went on for about 5 hours. Had a great play session.

Went home and around noon, I realize that my ass was twitching. I am a bottom/versatile guy. The guy I played with the night before was a total bottom. I sat on a few toys and plugs while I was with him, but not my ass is screaming, Where is Mine? Before trolling the various sites, I decided to slam again. I knew I had better product at home. Okay I did not get the first site because the vein kept rolling, but the second was right on and again no shaking. Dudes, I have shattered veins from shaking and having the needle move on me

Hot piece Saturday afternoon. I was in heaven. Sunday morning a bud was passing through town with new product he had just gotten and I was slamming by noon and continued through this morning. Now I am so toxic a slam would not do me any good, so I'll stay off for few days.

Just before sitting down to write this blog, I began to think about how devious T can be. I was totally committed to stopping if the shakes and blown product continued. How deceptive the desire to keep on courting her will change physiology. I will not lie, I love the rush and the sexual acrobatics that follow (and yes, probably addicted to it). With her I keep going further than I would allow myself to go. And right now, I see no need to stop.

So nothing is going to change right now. However, at least I am aware of another factor it is doing to me.

But, to paraphrase a line from the Morphine's song, "Candy"

"Tina says she wants me with her down in Tinaland."