I'm not sure about my feelings. I know him for a couple years, we are working in the same hospital. I first met him some months before the pandemic. He was about to finish his training in General Practice and I was just starting my training in anaesthesiology. At first we barely talked but one day we all went out for a drink (the colleagues) and we returned together (we live pretty close). From that point I felt there was something that wasn't there before. He was very kind with me and supportive. I started to admire for the things he did and he made me try to become better and better. He was struggling to cope with all that workload yet he would always have time to teach me. I believe what attracted me the most was his gentle care for me.He was supportive and tried to be a good teacher even though he didn't have to, it was merely his desire to help. We spent endless hours working together. Sometimes it felt that we're always together, we even slept at the hospital. I am not sure what I feel. I feel a rush when I look at him, that's for sure. When I see his name (when he messages me) I get excited. We have exchanged gifts on some occasions which usually doesn't happen. He messages me every night for some time and when he doesn't he always tries to find a minute to call me or he will tell me in advance that we can't talk tonight. If he wanted "more" I guess he would have claimed it (it's been 2,5 years already). I feel unsure about what he wants. Is it just that? Am I a friend of his? Or does he feel a need to be protective? Or all these in my head? Dunno. He makes me happy, that I know.
