I think sex addiction is an issue in your instance. There are 12 step programs for that. I use meth, but I wouldn’t consider myself an addict, but if I’m trying to lay off the shit for a while I make certain I’m not reading stories or watching vids/chatting with other pigs in to meth. I think the same would apply in your case. If you’re trying to lay off, you probably need to remove the temptation. Delete the apps, get off the BB sites, etc. It can reduce your cravings, but it won’t eliminate them.
Your absolute best plan of action is marriage counseling where you are able to bring up your wanting to open the relationship and what your needs are.