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cub84

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  1. I hadn’t realised this had been posted in the general section, I’d assumed given the content it was in the backroom/a fantasy section. Given this is the “reality” side, for what it’s worth I agree that condom sabotage is wrong, I don’t do it and like others just don’t fuck unless it’s raw, but can’t deny that for me condom sabotage is an intensely hot fantasy.
  2. Repeat the process/stab them with a needle. Get that failure rate up to 100% 😈🐷
  3. As someone with a fair bit of DPA/GDPR experience in the UK I thought it might be useful to give my take on the situation. First the legal position, caveat here I’m not a legal professional but have worked with closest with data protection specialists: Breeding Zone as a forum site is a platform not a publisher, users are the publishers and are responsible for what they do and don’t post. Depending on where they are based platforms have different requirements to comply with regards data privacy. Just because you can access a website on the internet does not automatically mean that the laws in your country apply to that site. It’s not quite the same, but the easiest way to think about it is to take a physical world analogy, if you go on holiday to another country then the laws of that country apply not the laws of your home country. That being said the GDPR was drafted to apply to any website that provides a service to residents in the EU (and UK). In theory, sites based outside have to comply with the law if they have users based in the UK/EU. In practice, if a website is based outside of these jurisdictions then you have little to no chance of ensuring compliance if they are in breach of the law. Breeding Zone has no presence in the UK or EU, so even where there are laws that apply to internet platforms, unless there is a legal entity in those jurisdictions there’s little you can do even if you think there’s a valid complaint. The big tech firms have a presence in the UK/EU because they actively do business in these places. Websites based outside of the UK/EU tend to apply one of two approaches: (i) block access from those locations, or (ii) implement cookie controls and account deletion policies. Breeding Zone has taken the second course of action. Adopting this second approach makes Breeding Zone compliant with UK/EU law on data protection and privacy. Second let’s consider the specifics: You allege that Breeding Zone has published your personal data. As per point 1 above, you are the publisher not Breeding Zone. Just because a platform gives you the ability to publish information does not mean you have to publish information. Before you register for an account it is quite obvious that a lot of content is publicly available. Breeding Zone does not deceive any one of this fact. You do not have to use your real name, you do not have to publish your date of birth (you have to provide a date of birth so the site is compliant with adult content regulations but that information does not need to be publicly available, you can change the viability of it at any time), you do not have to publish your contact details, you do not have to publish identifiable photos of yourself. Ultimately, you have chosen to do all of these things. Even if everything were private (ie you could only see content if a registered user and logged in) the legal position would be unchanged. Not having read the terms and conditions has never been a valid defence in a court of law. As far back as 2019 you have posted on this site: “I am confident of my experience of this website and sure,I have not so sure moments,but I firmly believe that,the best path is to 'wash your dirty washing in public'.Nobody can surprise you then. I have four accounts registered here. I cannot delete the memory,so why agitate myself.Life is too short.” I don’t repeat that out of malice but to indicate that you’ve been aware of the public nature of this site for quite some time. You could have stopped posting or interact with this website at that point in time but you did not. I’m not intending this to come across as rude or condescending, we all sometimes do things that in the future we’re not at always happy about. Regret about past behaviour and any impact that has on us in the present can be painful. You might not be comfortable with what you have previously published here, but it is not Breeding Zone’s fault and they have not broken any laws.
  4. So yes, for tablet medications (i.e. solid pills like truvada) then many drugs will last notably beyond their expiration date, but over time their effectiveness reduces. The medication is a stable chemical compound that either requires a reaction with water to activate or disolve the outer coating of the tablet - background mositure in the air will eventually cause this reaction to occur, which is something to consider if the medication is contained in a bottle/jar rather than in self-contained "blister packs" where each pill is separately sealed. The stability of the medical compounds and their resistance to background mositure will partially determine the choice of packaging by the manufacturer. As already mentioned by others this is why free clinics, and those in developing countries, will often use medicines past their expiration date because they are still likely to be effective, but certainly aren't guaranteed to be as effective. There's also consumer/health protection rules and regulations, as well as corporate interests from pharma companies to stop you stockpiling. I'd wager that many folk have almost certainly grabbed a couple of out of date paracetamol/acetaminophen when they've had a headache and its still worked. Liquid based medications (i.e. either a straight liquid in a bottle that you pour or liquid medications contained in a small swallowable capsules) are naturally more volatile compounds, and so can be much less stable long-term but again it depends on the compound itself and how its been stored - cough syrups are largely the same medications as in cold/flu tablets just in a liquid solution that's mainly sugar and will probably still work years later, whereas something like insulin has a very definite short-term window of effectiveness. For both Truvada and Descovy the information published by Gilead ([think before following links] https://www.askgileadmedical.com, search the drug name and "stability") says that when either medication is provided in a bottle they include a "silica gel desicate" (think those "DO NOT EAT" sachets that you get in some packaging boxes). Descovy is also available in a blister pack, and again Gilead includes within each blister cavity some form of desicant, which will protect the medication against mositure. They also publish some information about in-house stability tests but these are largely testing extreme circumstances (e.g. high/low temperatures, different humidity conditions). These are also stability tests once the medications have been opened, not tests of the long-term stability of medication that has been kept unopened in its original packaging. Not that anyone should be taking random medical advice from an unqualified random stranger on the internet...
  5. Picking up on an earlier post about allowing yourself to have these feelings and emotions, I fully agree. There’s clearly an intensity and connection that’s focussed it on Tom, but is it solely him, is it solely the closeness of your existing bond that’s fuelling your feelings, or has it opened something more and it’s changed how you consciously think about other men. I don’t know how much opportunity you get to have time to yourself but there’s three LGBT movies I’d suggest. Largely as a non-porn way of helping you to explore your feelings and experiences. God’s Own Country, an exceptional film from a couple years back, about a guy that works on his family farm and develops a relationship with a labourer on his farm. Weekend, a film about a one night stand that lasts over the course of a weekend. In From The Side, a film set at a gay rugby club where two team members have an affair with each other. I picked these three because (a) they’re all British, (b) while they don’t involve coming out struggles they show gay experiences that aren’t stereotypical depictions of being gay, (c) they involve characters in their late 20s/early 30s. All three are available on regular streaming platforms (GOC and Weekend are on Amazon Prime, In From The Side is on Netflix), but I suspect you might not want them to appear in the history so as not to raise suspicions of your wife. Weekend and In From The Side are both available on the BFI Player service from the British Film Institute and are free as part of their subscription packages which is free for 14-days. God’s Own Country is also available through the BFI Player as a rental for £3.50. Their LGBT+ collection of films is called Flare, after the name of their annual film festival for LGBT+ films, [think before following links] https://player.bfi.org.uk/subscription/collection/bfi-flare-lgbtqia.
  6. Strongly support the recommendation to talk to a counsellor/therapist, though what with the state of the NHS you’d almost certainly need to go private. You mention you work for the council, most public sector employers in the UK have an employee assistance provider that can offer confidential counselling, with my previous employer you were able to get up to 12 sessions in a year. You can talk to them about any issue not just work related things. Similarly if you’re a member of a trade union some of them provide access to counselling services for their members There are also two national LGBT helpline services: Switchboard, you can call them on 0800 0119 0100 (10:00-22:00 every day) or email them on hello@switchboard.lgbt (replies guaranteed within 5 days), they also offer a web chat service [think before following links] https://switchboard.lgbt/ LGBT Foundation, you can call them on 0345 3 30 30 30 (9:00-21:00 weekdays, 10:00-17:30 weekends) or email them on helpline@lgbt.foundation (replies guaranteed within 10 days) [think before following links] https://lgbt.foundation/helpline You can phone either of these to talk confidentially with a trained volunteer that can provide advice and support, and they can put you in contact with other services. This will offer you an immediate opportunity to talk with someone confidentially about your situation which I think will be helpful, and help you to figure out what next. To find a counsellor or therapist outside of these routes use a service like the Counselling Directory (a general directory of UK counselling services and counsellors) you can filter for those who specialise in LGBT+ and sexuality issues. Alternatively, Pink Therapy is a specific directory of counsellors that support LGBT+ clients. Like I said at the start, really recommend talking to a professional about your situation. They can help you to process your thoughts and understand them better, to understand whether it’s an infatuation borne out of the differences between you two or is it because you are genuinely attracted to him. Everyone’s sexuality evolves over time, for some it’s preferring a different type of man/woman than they used to or developing a new kink, but for some it’s more fundamental and involves moving along the scale and realising they’re not as straight as they thought they were. I know a couple of folk who only discovered they were bi or gay after 30, so you’re not alone if that’s what this is. I’ve also written this assuming you don’t have a friend, family member or colleague you can talk about your feelings with in confidence, or rather for any other matter you’d be talking to Tom about it to get his advice. Obviously that’s a non-starter at this point. But you never know maybe there is someone you can trust. Good luck buddy.
  7. You would not become "full-blown" as a result of having sex with some that is "full-blown", you may (but may not) become HIV-positive. You would only become "full blown" if your CD4 counts reached less than 200. Assuming that you became HIV-positive after sex with someone that is "full-blow", but you accessed and took modern anti-retrovial drugs as prescribed then it is unlikely that you would become "full-blown" yourself. Some individuals have a strain of HIV (i.e. a specific variation) that is resistant to certain medications, but there are very few individuals that have wide resistance. It is most likely that even if you have sex with someone that is "full-blown" that there are medications that will treat your HIV infection and ensure you do not become "full-blown".
  8. "Full blown" is a term used in reference to an AIDS diagnosis, as in someone having "full blown AIDS" its not an actual medical term. An AIDS diagnosis is typically made when an individual that is HIV-positive registers a CD4 count of less than 200 copies. CD4 is one of the main proteins of immune system white blood cells (also called T-cells), and is one of the main things that HIV attacks. Having sex with someone that is "full-blown" implies an acute HIV infection that has progressed to AIDS, that is the individual has a low CD4 count. The issue that matters for transmission is the HIV-positive individual's viral load, i.e the number of copies of HIV that can be detected per milimetre of blood. This is the basis behind the U=U campaign, this is based on a number of studies that have shown there are no known HIV infections that have involved an HIV-positive partner that has an undetectable viral load (which is typically defined as less than 200 copies per milimetre). It is often, but not always the case, that someone with a low CD4 count, and thus "full blown" is likely to have a high viral load. However, an individual with a high viral load and a low CD4 count that starts treatment can quite quickly reduce their viral load but it will take much longer for their CD4 to recover, but also once you have dipped below a CD4 of 200 you will always retain the diagnosis of being an AIDS patient even if your CD4 recovers to much higher levels.
  9. In general it’s that sense of uninhibited connection and that look on their face as they cum inside me and breed me. Specifically, my best/most memorable fucks have been on the occasions when I can feel their hot spunk hit the wall of my ass. Only had a few guys manage it, but it’s a moment of absolute perfection.
  10. This was absolutely exceptional. Easily one of the top 10 stories I've ever read on here. Thank you.
  11. Yup. Same, this year has definitely been one of the worst for me. It’s really difficult to describe the what/how of it too; my depression/anxiety has always felt more like an unclear fog than anything that’s the product of specific triggers, but right now it feels like I’m stuck in the middle of some of the thickest fog I’ve ever experienced, not only do I feel lost in it but I also don’t feel sure there’s any way of thinning the fog or navigating a way to a thinner part of it.
  12. Slow and steady wins the race 😉
  13. Thanks, glad you enjoyed. And thanks for all the up votes/likes guys. Working on the next chapter, probably going to land on Wednesday.
  14. Chapter 5: Jake's descent Over the summer, Alex and I continued to text sporadically. He was helping me come out of my shell. On his pushing, I'd twice ended up in the darkroom at XXL letting guys fuck me raw. At some point, I don't quite remember when, he got me to admit that I enjoyed bugchaser porn and reading posts on Breeding Zone. He thought it was super hot, and encouraged me. He also told me that he was poz, had been for about five years, but was on meds and undetectable. In mid-September he messaged me out of the blue, "Do you remember that Irish cub I made friends with at the start of the summer?"... Of course I do, "Yeah, I think so" I said, feigning ignorance. "I had a great time with him last weekend!". I really should shut this down. I shouldn't let it continue. I shouldn't break Jake's privacy. I shouldn't reply. But my dick thought better, "Oh yeah?" I typed. "Yeah, I think you'll like it <devil face>". What followed was probably the hottest conversation I've ever read, I won't transcribe it, instead this is what transpired the weekend before. Alex met Jake at the bear bar, after a few drinks they went back to Alex's place. By this point, they'd started fucking raw. I didn't check about whether he'd disclosed his status to Jake, but from reading between the lines I don't think he had. So they fucked that night. On Saturday morning, Alex asked Jake if he had any plans for the weekend, he didn't and so Alex suggested that maybe they try out Jake's fantasy to have an anon fuck session. Jake took some persuading but agreed. Jake went home to do some chores, but was back at Alex's by the mid-afternoon. Alex told him to strip as soon as he walked in the door, and handed him a jockstrap to put on. They play around a bit and then there's a knock at the door. Alex gets Jake on all fours and puts a blindfold on him. Five guys that Alex knows are at the door and Alex greets them all, although one of them stays silent so Jake can only ever make out four voices. Not that he knows what they're saying as they're all talking in German. Over the next couple of hours these guys use Jake's ass and mouth. And each fuck at least one load up his ass. Eventually the other guys leave, Alex pulls off Jake's blindfold and tells him he's done well for his first anon group. He starts fingering Jake's hole, playing with all the cum that's in there. Then he asks if Jake's up for more there's a friend of his that couldn't make it over earlier. Jake's a bit timid but with persuasion agrees. About 15 minutes later there's another knock at the door, Alex puts the blindfold on him and lets this other friend in. They get Jake back into position on his knees so one can fuck Jake's ass while he suck the other's cock. Alex and his new friend swap back and forth for a bit. And then at some point while Alex is fucking Jake he stops and asks him "Do you want me to take the blindfold off". His mouth being full of the other guy's cock he can't really say anything but he shrugs, which Alex interprets as a 'yes'. Alex gets behind Jake and holds his head, "stay still" he tells Jake, the guy fucking his throat moves in a bit deeper. Alex says "keep your eyes closed" while he starts to remove the blindfold, the guy fucking Jake's throat moves him deeper so that Jake's nose is buried in his pubes. Alex keeps holding Jake's head tightly in place, and tells him "open them". Jake slowly opens his eyes, while the guy fucking his throat starts to withdraw, allowing Jake to slowly see the giant biohazard tattoo between the guy's cock and belly button. The guy starts fucking back and forth in Jake's mouth, while Alex holds his head tightly. At first Jake is really tense, but eventually the throat fucking wins out and Jake starts moving with the rhythm of it. Alex moves round to the side and starts wanking in front of Jake's face. Jake notices that Alex is getting ready to cum and goes to switch dicks, but Alex says "no" and keeps Jake sucking the other guy's cock. Alex then blows his load, a big, thick load, all over the guy's tattoo. He looks at Jake and says "lick it up", Jake looks a bit puzzled, but Alex just barks back "lick up and eat my cum". And so Jake slowly pulls off the guy's dick, moves his tongue towards the guy's belly and starts to lick up Alex's cum. When Jake thinks he's done he starts to pull away, but Alex says "do a thorough job, repeat it, make sure you haven't missed anything". So he does, and Alex keeps him licking the tattoo for about five minutes. Then when Alex decides that Jake's done, he tells him to start sucking the guy again, while Alex starts to play with Jake's ass. He works a few fingers in, playing with Jake's cummy hole. Then he fucks him a bit. After a while, he pulls out and flips Jake onto his back, and starts fucking him again while his mate watches. Alex beckons his friend to come behind him. As Jake clocks what's about to happen his eyes get bigger, an element of fear finally runs across his face. "Let him fuck you" Alex commands, "he already has, not only when you were blindfolded just now, but also earlier today. He was here too, he just didn't say anything back then. He came in you twice already today. So let him fuck you again". While Alex was saying this, the other guy slid into Jake's cummy ass. After about 10 minutes or so, when Jake's finally into it, Alex takes Jake's hand that's been playing with the guy's nipples and chest fuzz and guides it down to Jake's ass. On the way down, Alex stops at the tattoo and makes Jake rub it for a bit. Then down to Jake's ass, making him feel the guy's cock slide in and out of him, in and out, in... and... out. Then Alex says very calmly, "Yes cub, feel that raw poz dick sliding in and out of your sleazy ass", and with that Jake's dick, which until now hadn't really been that hard, springs up instantly. Alex grabs Jake's dick and starts wanking it, "Yes cub, it feels good doesn't it"... Jake quietly murmurs in approval as Alex's works Jake's hardening dick... "feels good to have raw poz dick inside you, doesn't it"... Jake murmurs again... "what was that cub, you like raw poz dick inside you?"... Jake murmurs yet again... "I didn't hear you"... "yes" Jake says fairly quietly... "What do you like inside you?" Alex asks... "raw dick" Jake says... "what sort of raw cock?"... I take a while... "what sort of raw cock is inside you?"... "poz cock" Jake whispers softly, Alex looks at him, silently telling Jake with his look that he wants Jake to say it louder, and eventually after more coaxing he does... "Cub, your dick just pulsed when you said that in your proper voice, not whispering. You must really like it". With that Alex continues to wank Jake's cock but starts to move it so that the tip touches the guy's tattoo. "Yes cub, you really do like this raw poz dick inside you... now wank yourself" he says, and he moves one of Jake's hands to his own cock, and the other to the tattoo making Jake alternate between tracing out the biohazard patterns and rubbing it. After another 20 or so minutes of this, the guy fucking Jake goes through the tell tale signs that he's about to cum. Alex says to Jake "he's about to cum, do you want that raw poz dick to cum inside you?"... Jake murmurs yes... "I didn't hear you"... "Yes, I want him to cum in me"... "You want his cum? What type of cum is it cub?"... "Poz cum"... "You wat poz cum inside you"... "Yes" ... "Tell me what you want" .. "Cum" Jake says, Alex starts to look at him, but Jake quickly follows up with "poz cum... I want poz cum inside me"... "Yes cub. Now tell him" Alex says, pointing to his mate, "do you know what to say to him?"... Jake nods, and then looks straight at the other guy's face and says "poz me" and with that the guy fucking him starts his final assault... "Yes cub", Alex says, "you want to join us, you want him to make you poz, don't you?"... "Yes" Jake says almost immediately and at the same time starts cumming, just moments before the guy fucking him starts to cum. After the climax of the story, Alex also sent me a photo. The face was cropped but I could see Jake's distinctive cheeky grin and gingery beard. The very distinctive bird tattoo he has on his right pec. And then his cum covered belly, his still hard dick. And, Alex hadn't been lying the guy fucking Jake had a seriously large biohazard tattoo between his cock (which was still in Jake) and belly button. I was already on the verge of cumming myself, but that photo took me over the edge.
  15. Beware, this chapter contains some piss play. - - - - - Chapter 4: Jake's new friend There's not really very much worth reporting from my birthday trip. It was over pretty quickly, Drew and a few other of mine and Jake's mutual friends had joined us. We didn't really spend any time in the city, so as expected I didn't get to see Alex. As with the last visit it was only Sunday morning and with a bad hangover that I thought to open up the apps. "So you did return then!" Alex messaged... "Yeah, sorry am out in the forest with some friends for the weekend. Not sure I'll get a chance to meet up this time" I wrote back ... "Definitely next time. Take an extra day and spend it with me first/after" he replied. Now there was an idea I'd not thought of. I returned to London with the guys. About a month later, one Friday evening I decided to randomly message Alex and see how he was doing. He didn't reply back to me until the Sunday, "Sorry. I've been busy with a new friend"... "That's cool, hope you had fun"... "OH YES. Lots of fun" followed by a devil emoji... "Oh! That sort of friend" ... "Yeah that sort ... Maybe you know him, he's Irish but lived in London for a little bit". I read it, then read it again. My heart started pounding, what if it was Jake, or rather it was highly likely to be Jake. Besides his natural attractiveness, it was his soft and rhythmic Irish accent that really melted me the second we first me. I don't know what came over me but I lied, "I doubt it, there are a lot of guys that live in London"... "But I thought you had a friend move over here"... "Yeah, but he's American" the lie continued, hoping that Alex didn't really remember who I was with when he first spotted me that night in the bar. "Ahh, yeah, I guess you're right, there are a lot of guys in London. He wasn't there long either, just after university for a few years before moving here". Fuck. It was definitely Jake. I had to put my phone down. I needed to think rationally. I needed to stop this conversation. I should block Alex. But I didn't. My cock had started hardening. "So, tell me more about your new friend?" I asked. The description fit Jake to a tee. "What did you get up to?" I probed further. I didn't get a response particularly quickly, and when I was expecting him to text, he sent me a pic of his cock in what I presume was Jake's ass. Here I was, not only seeing Jake's ass, but seeing a guy fucking him. "You didn't fuck him raw then?" I replied, having noticed a condom. "No. He was worried about his boyfriend" ... "How do you mean worried?" ... "We started out raw, but as I started talking about my load, he said I needed to put a condom on". FUCK. I knew Jake and Drew fucked raw, but he'd always been fairly clear about their safe sex for random hook ups rule. "Ahh, yes, I guess that's sensible" I replied... "Yes, but I know really that he wanted it raw" ... "How?" ... "I pissfucked him". WOW. I was not expecting that. I'd always been intrigued by watersports but had never found that any of my hookups had been into it. And now I discover that my best mate is into it. Fuck. "Nice. I've always wanted to try that" I told him... "Yeah, he loved my piss" ... "How did you get to pissfuck him?" ... "We had a shower before we had sex, he said he needed to pee, so I told him to go in the shower. And then I started to piss on him. And this look in his eyes just told me he wanted it. I stopped the shower. I told him to get on his knees, pissed in his hair, on his furry chest, on his face, and he opened his mouth and swallowed some. Such a cute cub, drinking my piss, was very hot. Then before my stream was finished I told him to stand up and turn around. I rubbed my dick on his ass, let out a bit of piss to lube him up and then pushed in. He has a nice ass, very easily took my dick. Then I released the last of my piss inside him. And I started fucking him"... "HOT" was all I could reply, my dick now harder than anything. "When I would pull out he would reach down and feel my raw cock, wet with piss. He'd coat his hand in my pee and then take it up to his mouth and suck them. Eventually being in the shower was too cramped so we went to his bed and continued. The fuck was so hot that I was very close. I told him I was near cumming, which is when he said we needed to get a condom". "Fuck man. Bet you wanted to cum in him" I replied... "Yeah. But no problem. I'm sure I will one day. Anyways, I have to go now. Speak again soon, hope you're planning another visit too". About five minutes later I came, staring at Jake's last instagram selfie. Wondering if Alex was going to breed him. I know I shouldn't have done this, I shouldn't have let Alex continue, and I really shouldn't have wanked to what he had been telling me. I was lost in a whirlwind of thoughts for a while, and jolted out of it by the sound of my phone receiving a text, it was from Jake "Hey bud, what's up?". "Big raw German bear cock up your ass" I wanted to reply... "Not much. Just a lazy Sunday afternoon" I text back.
  16. Thanks guys. Next instalment(s) likely tomorrow. Know what I’m covering just working out how to structure it.
  17. Thanks for the feedback. - - - - - Chapter 3: Messages with the German bear I'd sort of forgotten about the German guy that had messaged me. Well, I never forgot that cock (and nor did my photos app, having obviously saved it). But after that initial interaction we did keep up messaging. And then in March on the Easter weekend he sent me another message out of the blue, "Hi, it's Alex, so when are you coming back to Germany?". Just after Christmas I'd deleted all the apps, thinking that if I got rid of them, then the temptation to bareback might go. About a week before Easter I succumbed to my urges and re-installed Scruff, his profile pic was just a thumbnail. A thumbnail of that rather magnificently hairy, beefy chest of his. So until I realised we still had our private galleries unlocked for each other I was racking my brain thinking who on earth this Alex guy could be. "Hi, I'm might be back in June. How have you been?" I replied. He replied almost immediately, "Great. The summer is wonderful here. You must go to the lake, it is very beautiful"... "Thanks for the tip, I'll try. I'm only over for a weekend though. Visiting a friend." ... "A sex friend?" ... "Haha, no, we don't have sex" ... "Oh, that is a shame, German guys can be very good sex friends". Our conversation then descended into an exchange of more explicit pics that weren't in our private galleries, and some general chat about how hot we found each other. But it was late, and my eyelids were heavy, so I made my apologies and wished him goodbye. A few weeks later, he messaged again. This time I was on my way home from some late drinks with colleagues. "Hi cub. How are you?" he asked... "A bit drunk. Just on my way home" I replied... "Going home alone?" ... "Yes" ... "That's a shame. Sexy cub like you shouldn't be alone"... "I wouldn't be if you were here"... "No. That is true. I wouldn't let you go home alone. Especially if you are drunk. You need looking after"... "I think I need something else" I replied... "Oh really? And what would that be?"... "Your cock"... "Yes?" ... "Yeah, I love it. I love how thick and veiny it is. I want to feel it" ... "You can do that when you visit"... "I want to feel it now" ... "But we are so far apart cub" ... "I know :("... "But if I was there, you could definitely feel it". I got distracted by some other notification and exited Scruff. After a few minutes he messaged again, "Where do you want to feel it cub? Where do you want to feel my cock?"... "You know" I replied"... "Tell me"... "My ass" ... "Yeah cub. I knew you wanted it"... "So badly"... "You want my cock in you cub?"... "Yes"... "Tell me cub"... "I want your cock inside me"... "Like this?" he said, following it up with a picture of his thick, veiny, raw cock entering a guy's furry ass. "YES" I replied... "You want it exactly like this?" he asked. "Yes" I replied. "You like it raw then cub?". Despite my predilection for barebacking, I'd never actively solicited it through the apps before. It was always something that happened when I was drunk, or once I was at a guy's place. It happening in the spur of the moment was a way of excusing it, I was just a guy that barebacked rather than being a barebacker. That yes I had bareback sex, but I wasn't someone that actively chose to bareback. "So cub, do you like getting fucked raw?" he asked again. He wanted to know. He wanted me to admit it. I would have to commit it to writing. "Yes" I eventually replied. "Yes, what?" he asked. "Yes, I like getting fucked raw" I typed, my dick getting harder than it ever had before. "Good" he replied. "Will you let me fuck you raw when you visit in June?"... "Yes"... "Dirty cub". So there it was technically, I'd committed in writing for the first time to let someone I'd never met before fuck me raw. I never replied to his message, having just got through the door as it arrived. I got into bed, and wanked off to his private gallery, thinking about how wonderful his cock was. How amazing it would feel to have it inside me. A few more weeks passed until he messaged again. "Not long now cub". It was mid-May, and he was right, it was only 4 and a bit weeks till I'd be back. We flirted back and forth, him telling me how much he wanted my ass, me saying how much I wanted his cock. But ultimately, I knew it was unlikely. Jake had said that one of his German friend's parents had a cabin in a forest about an hour's train journey. Knowing I loved hiking and the countryside he said he'd thought it would be great to do, we could head out Friday after I arrived, do a hike on the Saturday, and then head back on Sunday via the lake. I flirted with the hot German bear, it was some harmless fun and we'd not specifically committed to anything. Part of me felt a bit bad for leading him on, but at the same time I thought that maybe the next time I visit Jake, perhaps I'd bump into him at the bear bar.
  18. Chapter 2: Tom's first visit We did have a great summer, that's true. What guys in their 20s don't. But, throughout it all there was this sense of foreboding, that this man I'd come to think so much of, rely so heavily on, that was in effect my best friend, brother, and role model wrapped into one, was going. He would no longer be part of my life in the same way. I wouldn't see him almost every weekend, and usually in between either. I knew I was going to miss him, and I started to miss him before he'd even gone. I remember the last time I saw him before he left for Germany. The day after his leaving party, me, Drew and few others went for a Sunday roast in the pub nearest to Jake's flat. One by one the other peeled off. Then Drew, probably sensing that Jake and I needed to be alone, went back to the flat they'd only moved into together two weeks before Jake was asked to move. "You alright?" Jake asked... "Yeah, I'm good" ... "No, you're not, you've been quieter than usual" ... "I'm just a bit hungover" ... "Yeah, you drank a lot last night. But seriously man, are you ok about all this, about me going away. I can always stay". I was floored, here was Jake saying he'd stay, in an instant I could banish the foreboding that had been growing stronger and stronger over the summer. "No, you can't. You have to. You can't pass up this opportunity. You know that the London team aren't ever going to give you the chances the Germans will. And you've already sorted everything". Our conversation moved on to other things, and eventually it was time to go. Our hug goodbye was longer than usual, I'm shorter so I always ended up with my head in his neck, I breathed in more deeply, hoping that it would mean that I remembered his smell better. And then he did something he'd never done, he moved and kissed my forehead. "Don't worry. You'll be fine. I'm only ever a call/text away. You'll come visit, and if not before, then I'll be back in a few months at Christmas. Plus I'm counting on you to keep Drew in line". I looked at him, my eyes about to water, and he just said "You don't need to say anything. I'll see you soon". I turned and walked. Usually after a day in the pub I'd have ben lazy and taken the bus the three stops to my place, but I walked, wanting to prolong things as much as possible. As I turned the corner into my street, the tears started, and they didn't stop for a good few hours. Jake flew away a few days later. That wasn't the end of things, we continued to text as normal as if that goodbye hadn't happened. In the end I didn't feel as bad after he'd left as while I was preparing for him to go. Then again, I threw myself into work and tried to be more social. Meanwhile, with no boyfriend for a couple of years, and only a handful of hook-ups my fantasies and porn habits became darker as I sought out more and more of a kick to get me off. About three or four months before Jake told me he was going, I rediscovered bugchasing. When I was at university at one point I'd found a website called "Bareback Exchange", initially it freaked me out, but eventually it was the only thing that got me hard. Somehow I managed to quit the habit, but if I'm honest it was always there. While everyone thinks I'm innocent, and it's true I don't hook up much, but when I do play, I play hard. Or rather, raw. I definitely can't top with a condom, and I'm never going to be hard or that into it if the guy topping me is wearing one. Mid-fuck I'll get them to pull out, and I'll pull the rubber off and suck them, hoping that he won't reach for another one when I start rubbing my ass against his dick again. It had reappeared as something that got me off every so often. But around the April before Jake left, before I even knew he was going, my bugchasing fantasies started again, and they never left. Then getting myself lost in my fantasies became the only way to take my mind off the fact Jake was leaving. And by the time he left, I'd normalised them to the extent where I could only cum thinking about getting my cubby ass pozzed. Despite that, I'd not actually become a chaser. I told myself, if I kept it in my head that would be ok. That I didn't need to take that step. Inadvertently, I think that's probably why I didn't actually have as much sex as other guys, I knew that if I was going to have sex I didn't want what most guys were offering (condoms and vanilla experiences). But also that I was too scared to have the sex I really wanted. I digress. Jake and I continued to text. I saw Drew a fair bit, but not as much as I ever did with Jake around. But enough that I could "keep him in line" as Jake had asked. I was never quite sure what he meant, it was well know that they had an open relationship. I think he meant, Drew not going to sex parties or saunas. Which for the most part was fine. We did go to XXL occasionally, including the dark room, as far as I know Drew only ever did oral in there. And there was a night when we got very drunk and I sucked him off, we almost fucked, but we came to our senses and realised that was a violation of Jake's trust. But after about six weeks, Jake text me, "easyJet are having a flash sale, book a ticket, come and see me in a few weeks". Drew had already visited, so it wasn't like I was breaking some sort of code. So I booked a ticket for early November. I landed on Friday afternoon, Jake had tried but couldn't get the day off work. So once getting to the train station I dropped my bag in a locker (god love continental train stations) and had a wander around a new city. I grabbed some food, saw some sights. And at 4pm Jake text to say he'd managed to leave early. We met at the main station, hugged and then picked up my bag. And no, before you ask, we didn't do that romantic run together sort of hugging. Jake had initially stayed in a hotel for a few weeks while he looked at some apartments his company had found. He'd only been in his new place about a month when I got there. It was small, but sufficient for one person on their own. It was in a nice neighbourhood with a good commute to work and the city centre. After having some dinner, we headed out to some bars. We drank a lot as we caught up, it was just like old times. Saturday night, was a bit of a repeat, there were only a few gay bars, but rather than finish up in the mainstream bar, Jake decided we'd go to the HardBar - essentially the bear/leather bar. There were some guys Jake knew there and we got chatting to them. It seemed like he was settling in well. Sunday morning, as I woke up hungover I realised I hadn't opened any of the apps yet, so I fired up the triple set of Grindr, Scruff and Growlr. I also remember Jake mentioning one called Romeo that's better on the continent, so I thought I'd check it out. I scrolled through the screens, checking some guy's profiles out but given I was getting a plane in a couple of hours didn't bother to message anyone. When I got back to London and turned my phone back on, I got a notification of a message and an album unlock. It was from a very hot beary guy in his late 30s, not muscled but the right sort of chunky to know that he could easily throw me about if I ever got in his bed. And in his private gallery was one of the thickest, most wonderful cocks I have ever seen, to this day it's almost certainly in the top 3. "Saw you at Hard last night. Very cute. Are you here long?" he'd written. "Sorry man, wasn't a long visit, just got back to London", I replied. "Oh, too bad. Let me know if you visit again" he messaged back within a few minutes, "sure thing" I replied. "Just landed, was great to visit, thanks for inviting me" I text to Jake, "Great to have you, see you at Christmas." he replied. Christmas came and went in a blur, Jake went to see his family, but was back in London for New Year at the now customary house party that our wider social group had established. At some point when we were catching up he told me to "It's the winter flight sales, come visit again in the summer, so I don't miss celebrating your 30th, I know you don't really do anything to celebrate birthdays, so why not come visit then". The following week we made plans for me to spend my 30th birthday weekend visiting Jake.
  19. Despite being here for several years, this is my first post, and my first ever attempt at writing fiction. - - - - - Chapter 1: Setting the scene My name is Tom. But this story isn't really about me, it's about my friend Jake. Jake is/was one of my best friends. We met at university, I was in the last year of my degree and he was just starting his. We met at one of the LGBT society socials, being the only two cubby guys we hit it off. Despite my initial desires, nothing happened between us that evening, but over that year we developed a good friendship. Then the next summer when my course end of the year I moved to London to start a job. Jake and I kept in touch now and then, but I assumed it was probably just going to fizzle out. He stayed up in Manchester after his course ended, landing a job with a local engineering firm. We were friends on Facebook and text every so often, but that was it. Then after a year he text to say he'd got a new job and would be moving to London in a couple of months. By the point he moved here I'm 26 and he's 23. Our friendship restarted, he moved to a flat near me, we hung out most weekends and introduced him to my London mates and social group. I'd also picked up a boyfriend by this point, Mark. A great guy that I'd been seeing for about 5 months when Jake moved to London. And much as I really liked Mark, over time those feelings I'd originally had for Jake when I first met him started to come back, with a vengeance. Except they were different. While I was desperately attracted to him, there wasn't the desire to be boyfriends, I wanted something else, but I didn't know what it was. Mark eventually sensed something was up, I kept pretending that it was just work stress. When deep down it was an intense desire to be with Jake. Eventually one night when Mark was fucking me I uttered "yeah... breed me Jake... fuck your cum into me". Mark stopped fucking me, "so that's what's up with you" he said, I feigned ignorance, "huh... what do you mean?". "That's why you've been so weird recently. You love Jake don't you?" ... "Umm, no. What makes you say that?"... "Don't play the fool Tom you just grunted out his name as I was balls deep in you". "No, it's not like that. Well, a bit. It's difficult. But I don't love him, at least I don't think I do". We talked and I explained how I felt, Mark tried to understand. But things didn't get any better, if anything they got worse. Mark was jealous, despite me reassuring him that nothing was going to happen. Eventually we broke up, understandably it couldn't really last, but we stayed friends. Friends that fucked. If anything that actually made things between us better. And when Mark got a new boyfriend I wasn't upset, and would occasionally play with both of them. I never told Jake the real reason we broke up. But my new amounts of free time got eaten up by Jake, we became thick as thieves, always hanging out. It felt like I had the brother I'd never had but always wanted, or that Jake was the guy I wished I could be: outgoing, fucked around, could hold down a relationship. That was what it had been all along. Albeit a brother I wanted to fuck. Jake eventually started dating a guy, Drew. He was actually somebody I'd gone out with for a few months before we knew it wouldn't work out. Fast forward a few years, Jake had been in London for about three years, and been seeing Drew for just over a year. We were in the pub on Friday evening when he broke the bad news. "Tom, so, ummm, I don't know how to tell you this." ... "What is it? Is it bad? You know I'll always be there for you" ... "No it's not bad, it's great. Well it's great for my career." ... "That's great. So what is it? Why the long face?" ... "Well, my company have offered me a job in Germany. It's really great money, and it's sort of a promotion. It's the same grade but I'll have more responsibility and bigger projects. They want me to start there in a couple of months." ... "Wow. That's great news. I mean it'll be a huge change. But I know you've been starting to feel like your job is getting stale." ... "You're not mad at me then?" ... "Why would I be mad at you?" ... "Because I'm moving away." ... "Don't be silly. It's a great opportunity. And it's only a few hours by plane." We had a great summer, and then in September he left.
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