1happyhomo

I posted this other places, but seems appropriate here. I went off PrEP earlier this year. Waited a number of weeks and resumed bb sex. First guy I had sex with post prep knocked me up. No regrets here, but just wanted you to know, it is nothing to play around with unless you are prepared to live with the consequences.

I too went of prep earlier this year. Waited 16 days or so before my first encounter after PrEP. That one was all it took and I tested POZ a short time later.

With the push of one small, green lighted button, I engaged the mechanical activities required to reduce my lover's remains to heat and ash. Our brief marriage ended Monday afternoon as his highly compromised immune system surrendered in it's last battle against a virus. I can only trust that you are able to imagine the emotions raging in my own body and mind as I watch him transition from a physical presence to a spiritual force. He left us as he wanted, a proud gay man unafraid of AIDS and the ultimate toll that infection meant. The sudden end to our short union has hit me like nothing else. The reality of the virus that consumed his body and that is wildly replicating in my own alternates between serious oppression and amazing joy. Later today, a small group of our friends will celebrate his life, his spirit and his authenticity. Tomorrow and the days after, I will try to figure out how to live the days of my life in a way that honor all that he stood for. Fiercely queer, proudly POZ and full of humanity, he blazed a path that is quite clear, but difficult to emulate. I committed to him in life and I will be committed to following his path in his physical absence. To all of the other good men who have welcomed HIV into their system, I speak to you. This is not written fully for sadness, though I am sad. It is not written to incite fear, though I have my own fears. It is not written simply to memorialize a magnificent man, though I want others to know him as I did. Rather, I write this, on this site, at this time as a full unfolding of the story that we are all living. Our homosexuality, our relationship with the virus, our own mortality can be summed up in the passing of this man. If you have embraced the virus then embrace your life. Rejoice in how you share your days with this beautiful, intense yet deadly organism. And, as it surely will, when your end of days arrives accept the conclusion you were ordained when the virus first entered your body, mind and soul.

My dear AIDSBONE hubby has spent the last two nights in ICU due to a major lung infection. Watching him labor to breathe during those limited moments we can be together is difficult. Doctor says it will be touch and go for a few days until it is determined if an antibiotic will be effective. Seeing this side of the virus, as a newly infected man, is so very powerful. It breaks my heart to think I could lose this wonderful man. It is giving me a glimpse of what could be my own future as the virus replicates within me. But most of all, it reminds me of why I welcomed the virus into my own body. Being connected with generations of men like my husband, for having the shared experience of HIV/AIDS, for becoming the man I knew I needed to be---all of those are so much more in focus. As he fights for his life--fights against the effects of his virus, I am all that much more thankful I have my own strain and I am united with him in this infection. Not what I expected to feel after getting POZZED, but a level of emotion and feeling that is amazing. Chasers and wanna-be guys, this is the reality of our disease. For all of the heated sexual promise of becoming infected, there is the truth of health issues--very serious health issues. It is quite different, but there is a very soft, gentle erotic sensuality of aspect of our shared status. I find myself wishing I could be beside him, one bed over feeling what he feels, knowing what he knows, fighting but knowing I may have to surrender.

First, if it was Saturday 6/3---you could still be in the window for PEP (72 hours) if you are so concerned, go to an ER, call your doc or do something that puts you into contact with a source of PEP. If there was an exposure, it has pretty good odds of preventing full on infection if you follow the correct use. You have no idea if he was infected---for certain. Any testing is just a marker at that point it time---the next day, week or month means nothing if there were other exposures that the most recent test was unable to recognize as an infection. The fact that he test regularly is a good indication he is somewhat legit. A high number of new infections come from partners who do not test or our otherwise unsure of their status. No doubt you had risky sex. Anal receptive partners in M on M sex have a one in 70 chance of being infected. Still the reality of that risk is different when you get to a single specific dick and and a single specific ass. Luck, genetics, roughness of sex, lenght of sex, size of his cock, cleanliness, amount of lube-----the list of individual variables is huge...so your only answer can come from testing. It only takes ONE exposure, I know that for a damned fact. The very first cock I rode post taking PrEP knocked my ass up. One last thing....using the word clean to describe someones HIV (or other STD status) is inappropriate. I am quite clean, I was frequently----I just happen to be POZ too.

AIDSBONE Hubby and I are proud to live in the QUEEN city.

A beautiful, wasting AIDBONE man said "I DO" to me and the world during our wedding last night. I cannot think of a compliment that I will cherish any more than that wonderful soul pledging the short remainder of his life to me.

Kind of three phases to my fuck life.....and very different "exposures" 35 years of barebacking and nothing 2 years of PrEP and gono twice and syph once 6 weeks of no PrEP and HIV+, Gono

perhaps it is my own evolution as a bottom fag/transvestite, but my own desire and need to orgasm has reduced over the years. Kind of funny in some ways. I am getting more cock than ever and LOVE getting fucked. But, I just do not need to blast my own cum very often. perhaps more specifically, when I am in full fem mode (most of the time I am not at work) I have ZERO desire to cum and just never do. Once in a while when not dressed or when in a group setting (and not dressed) I will jack one off or let a guy suck one off, but that is somewhat rare. since if confirmed that i was knocked up a few weeks ago, I have pumped out a couple....mostly out of being curious about seeing if being POZ was making me any more prone to sharing my cum----and really cannot say that aspect has changed along with my status. Still love taking cock...and getting more POZ on POZ fucking than I ever imagined.....but just no desire/need to shoot my own toxic jizz.

I will not claim an increased sex drive. I have always pursued a very (VERY!!!) active sex life and have had many partners. Several years of PrEP did nothing but help me increase the frequency and variety of fucking. I just got knocked up last month (intentional, but a bit of a surprise---first post-PreP cock did the job). Since then I have had LOTS of sex....some really really great POZ on POZ fucking for the most part. But the sex drive is about the same....just the opportunity to enjoy and celebrate my changed status has opened out the door to even more cock than in my PrEP or pre-PrEP life.

Yeah, for those of us who were so used to the "gay lifestyle" pre-aids, the desire to continue no matter what was strong. In the mid west, it really was less of an issue for a few years (only those NYC or SanFran queers were dying right???). No doubt, I became more careful and some of the really wild shit slowed down as the limited venues available in those more closeted and conflicted days closed. But, fuck on we did. Kind of weird in some ways that some of us ended up as chasers....and like me got knocked up on purpose despite living through those years. I am sure that others, like me, lost friends and maybe had a few scares...it was a difficult time. But, our desire to continue enjoying a very satisfying and authentic queer life was just as compelling as the virus was terrifying in those days.

like anyone with HIV and not on meds, he is continually progressing towards being considered to have AIDS. However, he is numbers are not at a level that meet that diagnosis at this time.

Yeah...he has been POZ for years.....never on meds. Part of the reason I went on PrEP was to finally get his cock.....(he is a great BBC with amazing cocksman skills)....so he got me when I went on PrEP (and a whole lot for those years) and now, of course, he got me just off PrEP and nailed my faggot ass.....

man.....a guard can make for some fucking wild sex. there are a few companies that offer teeth guards that are designed to "enhance" blow jobs. I have a couple and some guys go wild with the "gumming" they get. I have also found that with some monster cocks, it allows me to give them more enthusiastic head while minimizing scraping the dick. http://www.happysperm.com/browse.cfm/gum-job-oral-sex-teeth-covers/4,8205.html

I have posted this in a number of other places....but here goes: 30 months on PrEP and had a raw only, any cock attitude and never converted, did get gono a couple of times and a round of syph First day of NO PrEP was April 1 (yeah April Fools Day-----taunting the fates a bit) First load (and a very POZ load) post PrEP was April 11 Tested POZ May 15. And he lived POZ ever after. Turns out, first cock after going off PrEP knocked my ass up. Guy who did it was a long time fuck bud....and in fact, the first POZ cock I took after starting PrEP in late 2014. No doubt, the entire experience was part of my kind of lengthy, but focused move to accepting the virus as a natural part of being queer. After that dick did the job, I had a lot of POZ sex....including a pretty active POZ Party. But, due to timing, type of testing, test results (antibodies showed up on early antigen/antibody test....and only one fuck was in the past long enough to be the one) were very clear that i was a one and done chaser. Perhaps not what I was expecting (timewise.....result certainly was expected and embraced). Certainly not everyone's choice....but it was mine and over all, I have felt that the experiences of being on and going off PrEP have been an amazing part of my life as a fag.

I went on PrEP about 30 months ago (Nov of 2014). I waited about 30 days before resuming sex. I specifically chose a first "PrEP Partner" based on his status----and as hoped/expected at that time, the drug worked as advertised. Once I was comfortable that the chemical condom was indeed going t protect me I went cock crazy to some degree. Any guy, anytime, anywhere----no questions. As some other have experienced, it was an amazing re-introduction to the world of less restrictive sex. Yeah, I also had to deal with gono and syph----for the first time (multiple times as it turns out). So everyone's reminder that while you may have HIV protection those other bugs are still waiting on you. Based on my desires, I made the decision to stop PrEP earlier this year. April 1, 2017 was my first PrEP free day since 2014 (I never missed even a single dose). On April 11, 2017, I was with my first post-PrEP partner. By my choice, it was the same man who was my first partner after going ON PrEP. On May 15, 2017 I tested HIV+ During my PrEP period I had hundreds of partners. That included 5-6 trips to Cumunion at P-House in Augusta, perhaps too many nights at Cheshire Bridge Hotel and Manifest in Atlanta, two wonderful visits to Berlin, and a wild weekend in Thailand. Not only that, but my own "network" of buddies and fuck-buddies grew as my reputation for slutish/pigish behavior grew. Bottom line, the stuff works. And if avoiding HIV infection is important to you, it does give you protection as you develop your own cum-slut ways.

Prior to going on PrEP, I tested quarterly with an Oraquick tester. Additionally, I went to the local free testing once a year and had my normal check up the included STD testing. I have a video of every single test. Some, I blabber through the whole thing...others it is just the camera on the tester for a while...then back on me as I look at the results. I always covered the tester with a napkin just for added effect. Just for the rest of the story, went off PrEP in April and got knocked up 10 days later.....testing was done in a clinic one week ago today...so no vids on that one....

I was twenty one and went to the WORKS health club/bath/sauna in Indianapolis for the first time. I had been happily homo for years by that time, but most of my experience was with guys my age and background. I had gone to Indy for Carb. Day---part of the traditional run up to the Indy 500. After a decent day at the track, I was ready to get fucked and figured out the Works could be the place to do it. I was young, lean, blonde and tan.....and horny as fucking hell. The somewhat older crowd at the Works that night seemed to appreciate what I had to offer and I was getting plenty of attention and cum. However, during one trip to the wet steam room, I had my world up ended. As my vision adjusted to the dark and steamy environment, I saw the most beautiful black man I had ever seen. Tall ( six six perhaps) and built like the legendary brick shithouse, I was horned beyond belief. It evidently worked for him too, because 15 minutes later we were in my dark private cube and his monster cock was pressed against my hole. My nervousness (never had a black cock or a cock that size before) seemed to be preventing that black mushroom from piercing my hole. HIs musky sent and the sight of his blackness against my tanned, but very much white skin was amazing. But we struggled to fuck. After some thwarted efforts, he left, but said he would be back. I was disappointed. I figured I had lost my chance at getting my ass torn up by that black snake. I was so surprised when he returned a few minutes later. He then introduced me to my first ever popper hit. As soon as that aroma hit my brain, my level of desire for that black cock was off the charts. One or two more snorts and he had his dick buried balls deep. I loved it. I begged him to fuck me hard and he did...harder than any cock had ever worked my hole. All to soon, he let out a loud, low groan and dumped his jizz into my abused ass. I knew at that moment, I would forever be addicted to black meat. Fast forward and you will see that i proudly wear a jack of spades tattoo. The most significant fucks of my life have been black cock. My first live in lover was a black man. The majority of my fuck buds are all men of color. When I went off PrEP in April the first post-PrEP cock in my ass was black. Last Monday (5/15/17) I got the official proof that beautiful black cock knocked my ass up. That tainted semen, thrust deep in my white ass by a monster nigger cock has connected me to the universe of black queers in a way I can never forget. One note: some of you may find my use of the "N" word inappropriate. However, this guy in particular has asked me repeatedly to refer to him in that term.

If you are over 35 and/or like guys of that age and up, I do not think you can go wrong by going to the GATE SAUNA. I have been a number of times and have never failed to take all the German sausage I wanted. Not in the "gay" section of Berlin, but very interesting spot......less than 100 yards to the US embassy, 150 yards to the Brandenburg Gate and about 150 yards to the parking lot that is where Hitler killed himself at the end of WWII. Now the world have been a different place had instead of talking about the "wall--berlin wall" (what the fuck is it with presidents and walls anyhow).....he went to the sauna and shouted Mr. Gorbachov, tear up my ass. Anyhow, Berlin is, to me, one of the best queer sex cities in the world. I suppose some of that is that things that are taboo so many other places seem to be out in the open and much more welcome in Queer Berlin.

I have written other places of this, but will add it here as well. On April Fools Day of this year, I renounced PrEP after two + years of protection from the chemical condom. I was infected TEN (10) days later by the very first post PrEP sex I enjoyed. While it may have been fun to have chased, I have to admit that I am very pleased with the results of my decision.

Ok. Y'all have helped the OP realize that missing one does will not turn him into an near instant virus host. But what about the MAIXUM missed days before there is a risk. I only can suggest one data point---my own. Stopped taking PrEP on 4/1/17. A POZ BBC cock---the very FIRST cock since quitting Truvada---knocked up my ass on 4/11/17. My desire to become a bad-ass mother fucking take all cock bug chaser lasted a total of ONE fuck session. Anyone else have a story of getting converted soon after the elimination of the chemical condom? How long? How many missed pills? Any other one and done recovering PrEP users out there?