Hey fellas
New here and really excited to get in touch with the forum. it really has, in my eyes, a really strong sense and comunity. I'd like to share my first bb experience and its, certainly not insignificant aftermath and listen to some opinions.
I never really thought of barebacking before. It was forbidden territory, since me being always really considerate and well-informed on health and STDs related issues. It first happened with my most usual sexual partner. A young kid, 19-20 years old, one of my best and most talented fuckers (i'm a total bottom). He's a natural born top in a way i could not have guessed, not really impressive physicaly, handsome or hung but ended up being my only sex partner for the last twelve months. Was really busy last year and didn't have time to arrange any new hook-ups. Kid really got into my heart. He propably fucked around more than me but he did seem to have some sort of exclusivity demands from me apart from always returning for an easy, reliable and commited bottom. He would never discuss threesomes with other alphas and always had special demands from me. He bought a jockstrap and athletic socks and he would leave the door to his appartment open, waiting for me at the terrace while i got naked, jockstraps and socks on, and waiting for him with the door open in all fours. He really know how to spice things up. We ended up forming some sort of daddy-son relationship, despite me being 27 and he 21 now.
Recently during some sexting with him, he became really vocal about his breeding fantasies. Since chat provides a safety distance i started to indulge in such fantasies in a surprisingly direct way. Uttering such breeding scenarios proved quite natural and i finally, thinking of how much pleasure trusting in his fantasies has gained for me, started promising him to actually indulge in raw action. Couple of months back we met again to try it and he penetrated me raw without even asking, since i have agreed to do it. Apart from realising that initial penetration is easier and painless without a condom i couldn't really tell a difference since my mind was still in complete doubt and could not stop overthinking. When we was ready to cum i stopped him and asked to be fed on top of my tongue, cleaning his cock thoroughly to make up to him. While i was showering however, I felt really empty. Like something went wrong. I realised i hadnt recieved any pleasure and had to be taken to bed again. However our sexual relationship never expanded beyond a first fuck and him cumming.
I went back to bed really determined, put my jockstrap on and lied down as promiscuously i could. He fell for it, started to cuddle and gave me the chance to start working my ass on his croch again. It worked. Few minutes later he was giving me the best fuck of my life, me getting the strongest sensation every time his hard, raw cock pushed against the exposed back of my prostate. Soon enough i was moister than i've ever been, his rod was sliddingd effortlessly producing the sweetest, almost liquid sound. We were both ecstatic. He started contracting, warned me he was close and this time i just whispered "Shoot it baby". Getting back home this time, i felt special. My hole took time to get back to normal. Next morning i could not really hold a normal vowel movement and found sings of cum and feces on my underwear.But it all felt like a badge of honour really. We met again of course, no condoms, each time better than the last and for the first time i started ejaculating anally. Literaly having cum being forced out of me everytime he delivered a thrust. Of course i take his load every time now.
Problem is, we're not in an exclusive relationship. In fact we are only sexually related. We both have demanding sex drives and actually pride ourselves over collecting noumerous partners but at the same time we are both really protective of our health and not willing to take the risk of getting our sex lives completely raw (he especially has a very strong phobia for everything HIV related, which is of course a maturity problem). We were both recently tested negative. His request is that I only take him raw and no one else, which on the one side is kind of sexy since it certifies our special power-related dynamics. I am sure however i can't be truthful to that promise. I have collector's mania. Since going raw with him i feel i've rediscovered sex. In fact, i see men in a completely different light. Every single man on the street feels precious. Like there's a special aura to them all. I feel more assured of my identity as a sexually receiving, gay man. I dont see my newfound desires to bareback and serve as a vessel as selt-destructive, as i was told risky sexual behaviour usually is. I've been of course thinking of getting to prep, not really possible since it's not at all available in my country and i'm not all the way financially separated from my family in order to support by sexual needs by ordering on-line yet, so before that much needed progression happens(life goals), what do you think? Is it really possible to keep bareback sex a monogamous affair, especially when we're not exclusive? Will i be able to enjoy safe sex ever again? After going raw, is there ever a return?
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