PhlPride07

Concerned1: Definitely get on prep, and do not fuck raw until you do. I've been in your shoes a few times. Maybe it's not worth it, but you will fuck again raw. It will happen. And you don't want to go through this anxiety again when you do. I've learned a lot how humans often have a hard time of understanding risk (think of how many people are so afraid to fly despite it being so safe) but regardless, accidents happen. It only takes one poz fuck to convert you. Some people catch it on their first fuck, some on their 500th, but it will happen to you sooner or later. So don't fuck until you get on prep. Jack off as many times a day as you need until you're protected by the pill.

Hi all, I'm sorry to post another "How much risk" did I take post, but I need to tell my story somewhere, to someone, and I found this community here, so I hope you don't mind. I'm legitimately curious about the statistics published for HIV transmission. It seems incredibly difficult to effectively transmit this in sex, and I hear plenty of stories of guys going years actively chasing HIV and never converting and other guys getting it on their first exposure. So , I guess it's all a flip of the coin, but it seems more likely than not it would take multiple exposures to successfully convert, and I find that incredibly interesting. I was, and still may be, HIV Negative, and I would prefer to stay negative, but I recently had a severe lapse in judgement and placed myself in some risky situations. I topped a partner bareback who was "on prep" and I was in a bareback gangbang topping someone who was "undetectable" I picked up chlamydia somewhere along the way, but won't have conclusive HIV results for a few more weeks. On the recent fuck, I had bright pinkish spot on the head of my penis for the 5 minutes following sex. I've never seen anything like it before, and in my mind that's a sign of something entering me, although it could have been irritation or something innocent. Maybe the closest thing to google is balanitis, but it was a small spot, went away immediately, and I'm circumcised..so I'm not sure. I read a good analogy on here recently that flying is the safest form of transportation, but every flight I'm on is going to be the one that crashes. So, that logic applies here with me. I know the statistics and science behind these acts and medication, but I'm ultimately relying on someone else to keep me safe. I know I need to pursue prep if I'm still neg. I ultimately know what I need to do, but it's just oddly therapeutic posting my story online for others to read. I know this post was probably a mess of emotion and words. Thanks for taking the time to read.