michaeladam

Hey all! I'm new to this amazing forum so let me introduce myself first. My name is Michael and i'm a 22 yo European bottom. I love to expose my self to Dom Tops and totally into being bred and fucked rough. Unfortunately I, from time to time, suffer from Anxiety and mostly Hypochondria. It's something that can get extremely present, this feeling of having a terminal disease. When i'm in that state of mind, nobody. not a a friend nor a doctor can convince me that i'm fine. I've had the most unrealistic thoughts throughout the years. - Long cancer - Tickle cancer - Prostate cancer - A L S - Becoming blind - HIV - an STD that's not discovered and registered yet - Heart Failure - and a lot of other different , Disease related thoughts. Cancer and HIV are the most common fears in my life. The only thing that helps best is meditate, mindfulness. I'm doing this for years now. Sometimes daily, sometimes weekly. It depends. And I can highly recommend it to people who suffer from sleeping-problems, anxiety, depression or any other form of mental health issue. Now being Hypochondriac and a Cum dump doesn't really go hand in hand. It's a bit ironic right? Well fuck me! I'm now considering PrEP because I don't want my sex life to suffer because I constantly fear for HIV. I don't want to be pozzed. But I fucking love a man to shoot the loads he want in my pink smooth boy dump hole. I'm very happy with this forum. It's extremely informative to me so far. And i'm just curious if there are many guys here that can relate to what I'm saying here. And how to cope with this. When i'm horny or plan on a sex date I don't fear anything. Off course I know that there will probably be a panic attack 3 days after being BB'ed but at that moment I don't care. So I enjoy and let my hole get seeded. But it's a nightmare to go through this roller coaster of fear all the time. I'm sure i'm not alone with this. Curious if people can relate to my story here. ❤️

First of all, Big thank you to the TS here. I'm from Europe, Holland. And I've been looking e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e to find decent information about this subject. I have power tops fucking my hole 1-3 times per week and I was cleaning and douching my hole for over a year every week. I started to notice after months of doing this that my hole was not the same after 2 days after the douche. Farting, and either diary or constipation. Terrible farts. And so on.. That moment I started contacting a supplement store / online. Mailing my ' problem ' , and this Dutch guy helped me very good but he didn't really know what I wanted to know as a gay bottom boy that gets fucked deep and hard at least every week. My best friend studies dietetics and I told her my stomach/ butt problems. She off course told me the same thing I all ready knew so I started making smoothies. Because I was really anxious that I might had ' broken' something inside me you know. I genuinely thought that I messed up my hole for good (I'm a bit of a hypochondriac and that is really not chill; cancer, HIV, ALS, you-name-it. I've had it all! in my mind..) I visualized myself in the hospital, for a surgery because I totally ruined my hole with douches. Never to have a BF ever, not to mention a sex life(!) at all! The most terrible stories I found online of people that used douches and sneezed; And had their pants full of shit. I saw my life as a bottom guy falling apart like la casa de papel.. Then on this forum somewhere for bottoms (like full-time bottoms) this guy told me about this forum. And this subject was the first thing I was looking for. I mean. Omfg. I finally see real stories of guys like me using fucking douches, and have advice and tips to do it often. but the way to do it best! And I can't thank u people enough cuz this is just what I was looking for. The complete a to z handbook for a clean fuckhole. I'm really happy that it IS possible to be clean AND healthy at the same time. I think I've read this article for over 10 times and I decided to buy this supplements as well. Because the smoothies with really the BEST ingredients for my stomach, they did really make a difference but like said here as well. It's not enough of the FIBERS like mentioned in this topic. I all ready skip the cheeseburgers and junk food for awhile. And it pays off. But this final piece of information was just what I needed to fucking finally know what i'm doing, be confident, and happy. Instead of anxious, and unhealthy and paranoid. I mean, you can obviously tell how much of a mental struggle this has been to me for the last year maybe two.. I'm glad I got here guys because here's information that I can use. Instead of some straight online retailer or doctor. I mean, why to go crawling backwards to the grossery story if you can take a car? Again ! great. I'll be fucking healthy AND clean from now on. Damn.. ❤️