cannero

That is a real shame. I liked his porn as he managed to get that combo of sexy and really nice and it looked like real sex, not just performing. Condolences to those that knew him.

I think that is a very honest post and I appreciated it. The first thing I would say is I'm glad you have such an understanding partner who accepts your past and doesn't judge. We all come with slutty baggage one way or another and it's not many that accept the past isn't the future or indeed the present. The second thing I took is that BZ is a place that is wild in it's sexual discussion with a grey border between what is experience and what is fantasy, but at the same time we can have realistic discussions on the real issues of this lifestyle (to use a phrase). Thirdly I was at my most slutty decades ago when blatant barebacking was quite transgressive and not as common as is really thought. Many the bloke in a park or club was only interested in safe, but a hardcore group of shags was to be relied for me, and decades later I don't even know their names. But the real consequence of this was that wide condom use kept the other bugs at bay. I certainly think Prep is a great thing, but I suspected personally that there would be other consequences. This happened at a time when access to sexual health services in the UK became patchy because of funding pressures, and when I saw my local clubs and saunas posting about super gonorrhoea was in the district etc, I changed my behaviour. My health is cranky anyway these days and I just don't need the kind of hassle that you have sadly gone through and I am now a bit more aware of who I choose to fuck. I do think that there is a commitment to self checking in aspects of the hardcore pig community, and that isn't refllected in the general gay wider population, especially the young. No judgement, but we all feel immortal at that age, and the creaky body is in a far distant future. But I think Philip's experiences won't be unique as we deal with the non-HIV health issues in years to come.

I (not unseriously) joke with a friend that the modern "queer" people seem to be straights that are achingly longing for the edge that us gays have but don't want the reality of it. If I had a pound for every queer man I know that hasn't man-on-manned but has a girlfriend

To be honest most porn actors have a pretty boring social media strategy of endless JFF and OF posts. I follow Chris Mitchell on Twitter as in between his porn promotion he posts other stuff too plus he follows me back as well.

It's not an unusual response and I've had it loads of times through my life. Straight and hiding from a girlfriend, gay and hiding it from a partner or keeping to agreed rules (no kissing, no connecton etc). Might have a feeling that some sex is just sex and some sex needs a connection and he may not be able to pursue that connection with you. Numerous guys (and girls I'm sure) have a degree of shame about sex, or OCD or a thing about cleanliness. The guys who I know who jump straight out after sex to hit the shower, rub the cum off and are a bit turned off by the idea of cuddling with all the fluids all over is high. That's obviously completely their decision. I think it's fine if you want to continue as you are and it suits you both. But if you're feeling lke it's a bit cold and not your thing, it's accepting he's not going to change really and what you do about that. In my early sex life I seemed to acquire straight married partners who wanted sex but nothing else, and if you start developing a connection with one of them, there's emotional pain to deal with. Not saying that's the case here, but perhaps a parallel, it's you should be putting yourself at the centre of the situation and taking responsibility, not him. He might be oblivious and thinking you're fine with everything.

Definitely relate: for about 6 months prior to the pandemic I had reasons to reduce the sex. I'm single and not necessarily looking for a partner (too old to change, been there, done that, lone wolf and happy sort of thing). But in my frenetic sex life involving regular attendance at various venues over the years, I had acquired a number of guys that I could fuck with and chat with. Sex venues with bars like Boltz or Vault do give you the space to chat easily without killing the vibe for others still cruising, so you can catch up or introduce yourselves properly (nice arse, that was a good fuck, my name's such and such btw. Do you come far etc). What I learnt during covid when the bar scene was closed was that I had quite a lot of brotherhood intimacy to coin a phase. Hate social media so wasn't able to connect with a load of guys because I used to do it face to face with a pint every month or so. Very much missed that, and the opportunities to cruise nearby just involved random fucks with no strings attached in cruising areas with largely straight guys, and I came to the conclusion the sex was a bit cold and just not for me. Now of course, I can go to the venues and catch up, but I think it is an after effect of the pandemic that I have lost my social muscle, and generally aren't fussed. But the context is that I have been sexually active for over 40 years and a) have done everything I want and more and b) don't feel deprived and have come to the conclusion not much sex isn't the negative option compared to plenty of intimacy free sex with plenty of guys who are around. A caveat to add though, is that if you are younger and hornier and lost a couple of years of slutty behaviour in your pime because of covid, I wouldn't expect those guys to have my world view at all. Good luck to them and bend over as much as you like or plow whatever is in front of you. I often wonder though, as a gay man of the AIDS generation who was unscathed, whether the lack of a large older generation above me who were sadly decimated, meant I was denied more role models of out guys aging comfortably and perhaps having a view similar to that posted above.

SOP in Central Station I never want to see in daylight or with the full lights on. But half drunk, naked, in boots and it's the horniest place for rampant depravity. Plus the only place I let my constant precum just drip

Maybe it's because of my non xtian spirituality, but I have no problem finding attraction in guys who are no longer here. I know a couple of casual sexual partners who have gone on, and I don't feel bad about wanking myself on their memories. Similarly there are a couple of porn stars from the past who I really get off on, and kind of hope behind the veil they don't mind my attention. Al Parker being a good case in point, fancied from the minute I saw him, and was the gold standard in sexiness when I became sexually active in the 80s. It would be a bit weird to fetishise their ends mind you in terms of AIDS, but I connect with the lusty abandonment they display. However as a real fan of Titpig, I did think I'd let him settle and for his friends and family to go through the grieving process before I bang one out watching Blue Moon or whatever. Admittedly that does undermine my point a bit but try to listen to my soul and get guided by it lol

Unplanned: I was in my early twenties and the times I'd been fucked were by similar guys and always rubbered. The fucks were at best uncomfortable and worse painfully unsuccessful, and I assumed I was a crap bottom. One night I was picked up by this older guy from Bristol, and was pleasantly drunk by the time we got into bed. His dick was huge and I had some trepidation, but he lubed well, put the pillow under my arse and just slid in. The fuck was utterly perfect, I had never felt such pleasure, and then he kissed me and said sorry he came, he shouldn't have. It was 1990 and although I periodically fucked covered, I only took cock raw up my arse from then on.

My instinct is that sex with a guy that isn't swinging meat wouldn't be my thing; my previous straight fumblings letting me know I have no interest in the lady garden whatsoever. However, never say never and all that and I most certainly welcome transmen here to share and explain and hopefully widen my own understanding of the whole issue.

OK, not a cumdump so didn't think to click and read this thread, but glad I did as it really resonates. I've been having this conversation with close friends for about a year. Haven't been in a sex club for a couple of years and not missing it. Well, not quite right, I'm missing the beer and chats with friends and acqaintances between the fucks, but not missing the sex. I think this has concentrated my mind on some deeply inner thoughts of who I am and why I'm here, which in no way reflects any guilt towards a hugely slutty, sleazy and frenetic 30 years of piggy sex. Whether it's aging or the pandemic but I have found I value warmth and connection with my whole social circle more than yet another quick fuck. Now I own my past as mentioned, but a few guys who have lived a more saintly life around me have wanted me to show them the ropes in the slut circus, so I'm assuming there are opposing pressures on those who are feeling like they have missed out on something. However I've been sexually active for over 40 years and don't feel I'm missing out anymore. I'm definitely the guy lying in the gutter, looking at the stars mumbling "fuck that was good, now pass me my pension and gardening gloves" 😁 Mind you I still get reguarly cruised on the street and parks, so not saying never again....

Gives a whole new spin on what might have happened in no mans land at the World War One Christmas truce. They certainly wouldn't have been playing football.

If it makes you feel good, it'll add to your swagger and it becomes attractive. I stopped wearing mine in my forties as the nipple reacted to the metal a lot. Declaring an interest, but I think they look good an most men, and the heavier the better.

I've been in a relationship where the sex was pretty good and I never went elsewhere. Had a long time relationship where the sex was rubbish and I was fucking outside a few times a week. But generally reckon in my life a pool of men suited me best; various sexual attractions, some guys good friends, a hugely guilt free slutty outlook, and the ability to see a cruising guy from a mile away in pitch darkness all were benefits

Enjoyed reading this thread and the depth of thought many have expressed. I would consider myself a theistic pagan who sort of keeps the Big S on a shelf (literally as I have symbols above my bed). Never raised xtian (never had an adult convo with my parents about why they hated church, always regretted that). However growing up in the UK I was of course culturally groomed by the church. I do come from the branch of the family that experiences "weird shit" which is enough to say why I'm theistic. It took a long time to shirk that culture and it's moral framework. As I took a sort of classical approach to pagan life, picking up gods or forces as and when, it usually ties in with my thoughts and life at the time. I in no way expect anything from a god in terms of guidance or gifts or offerings, as I think we are equipped to make our own decisions and control our own lives. The Big S to me though represents independence of thought, and reassurance that I have it all in me. As I had quite little xtian indoctrination, I have only done one act of blasphemy which to me was done purely to affirm that I don't recognise the supreme authority of this god or his men over me. Others, particularly gay men, have been wounded far more then me by the church and it's control, so I do understand the need to perhaps do it more often and take diabolic pleasure in it. Ultimately I would say that once I took responsibility for myself I became kinder, more tolerant and less likely to take shit from people who have contracted out their world view to old men in a church somewhere. If I act a bit of a tosser sometimes, it's my self awareness that I work on and make amends myself. The idea that I would impose my world view on someone else is horrific but I have no compulsion about standing up for myself when, largely xtians, start talking nonsense about my sexuality or personal morals.