cannero

That is a real shame. I liked his porn as he managed to get that combo of sexy and really nice and it looked like real sex, not just performing. Condolences to those that knew him.

I think that is a very honest post and I appreciated it. The first thing I would say is I'm glad you have such an understanding partner who accepts your past and doesn't judge. We all come with slutty baggage one way or another and it's not many that accept the past isn't the future or indeed the present. The second thing I took is that BZ is a place that is wild in it's sexual discussion with a grey border between what is experience and what is fantasy, but at the same time we can have realistic discussions on the real issues of this lifestyle (to use a phrase). Thirdly I was at my most slutty decades ago when blatant barebacking was quite transgressive and not as common as is really thought. Many the bloke in a park or club was only interested in safe, but a hardcore group of shags was to be relied for me, and decades later I don't even know their names. But the real consequence of this was that wide condom use kept the other bugs at bay. I certainly think Prep is a great thing, but I suspected personally that there would be other consequences. This happened at a time when access to sexual health services in the UK became patchy because of funding pressures, and when I saw my local clubs and saunas posting about super gonorrhoea was in the district etc, I changed my behaviour. My health is cranky anyway these days and I just don't need the kind of hassle that you have sadly gone through and I am now a bit more aware of who I choose to fuck. I do think that there is a commitment to self checking in aspects of the hardcore pig community, and that isn't refllected in the general gay wider population, especially the young. No judgement, but we all feel immortal at that age, and the creaky body is in a far distant future. But I think Philip's experiences won't be unique as we deal with the non-HIV health issues in years to come.

I (not unseriously) joke with a friend that the modern "queer" people seem to be straights that are achingly longing for the edge that us gays have but don't want the reality of it. If I had a pound for every queer man I know that hasn't man-on-manned but has a girlfriend

To be honest most porn actors have a pretty boring social media strategy of endless JFF and OF posts. I follow Chris Mitchell on Twitter as in between his porn promotion he posts other stuff too plus he follows me back as well.

It's not an unusual response and I've had it loads of times through my life. Straight and hiding from a girlfriend, gay and hiding it from a partner or keeping to agreed rules (no kissing, no connecton etc). Might have a feeling that some sex is just sex and some sex needs a connection and he may not be able to pursue that connection with you. Numerous guys (and girls I'm sure) have a degree of shame about sex, or OCD or a thing about cleanliness. The guys who I know who jump straight out after sex to hit the shower, rub the cum off and are a bit turned off by the idea of cuddling with all the fluids all over is high. That's obviously completely their decision. I think it's fine if you want to continue as you are and it suits you both. But if you're feeling lke it's a bit cold and not your thing, it's accepting he's not going to change really and what you do about that. In my early sex life I seemed to acquire straight married partners who wanted sex but nothing else, and if you start developing a connection with one of them, there's emotional pain to deal with. Not saying that's the case here, but perhaps a parallel, it's you should be putting yourself at the centre of the situation and taking responsibility, not him. He might be oblivious and thinking you're fine with everything.

Definitely relate: for about 6 months prior to the pandemic I had reasons to reduce the sex. I'm single and not necessarily looking for a partner (too old to change, been there, done that, lone wolf and happy sort of thing). But in my frenetic sex life involving regular attendance at various venues over the years, I had acquired a number of guys that I could fuck with and chat with. Sex venues with bars like Boltz or Vault do give you the space to chat easily without killing the vibe for others still cruising, so you can catch up or introduce yourselves properly (nice arse, that was a good fuck, my name's such and such btw. Do you come far etc). What I learnt during covid when the bar scene was closed was that I had quite a lot of brotherhood intimacy to coin a phase. Hate social media so wasn't able to connect with a load of guys because I used to do it face to face with a pint every month or so. Very much missed that, and the opportunities to cruise nearby just involved random fucks with no strings attached in cruising areas with largely straight guys, and I came to the conclusion the sex was a bit cold and just not for me. Now of course, I can go to the venues and catch up, but I think it is an after effect of the pandemic that I have lost my social muscle, and generally aren't fussed. But the context is that I have been sexually active for over 40 years and a) have done everything I want and more and b) don't feel deprived and have come to the conclusion not much sex isn't the negative option compared to plenty of intimacy free sex with plenty of guys who are around. A caveat to add though, is that if you are younger and hornier and lost a couple of years of slutty behaviour in your pime because of covid, I wouldn't expect those guys to have my world view at all. Good luck to them and bend over as much as you like or plow whatever is in front of you. I often wonder though, as a gay man of the AIDS generation who was unscathed, whether the lack of a large older generation above me who were sadly decimated, meant I was denied more role models of out guys aging comfortably and perhaps having a view similar to that posted above.

SOP in Central Station I never want to see in daylight or with the full lights on. But half drunk, naked, in boots and it's the horniest place for rampant depravity. Plus the only place I let my constant precum just drip

Maybe it's because of my non xtian spirituality, but I have no problem finding attraction in guys who are no longer here. I know a couple of casual sexual partners who have gone on, and I don't feel bad about wanking myself on their memories. Similarly there are a couple of porn stars from the past who I really get off on, and kind of hope behind the veil they don't mind my attention. Al Parker being a good case in point, fancied from the minute I saw him, and was the gold standard in sexiness when I became sexually active in the 80s. It would be a bit weird to fetishise their ends mind you in terms of AIDS, but I connect with the lusty abandonment they display. However as a real fan of Titpig, I did think I'd let him settle and for his friends and family to go through the grieving process before I bang one out watching Blue Moon or whatever. Admittedly that does undermine my point a bit but try to listen to my soul and get guided by it lol

Unplanned: I was in my early twenties and the times I'd been fucked were by similar guys and always rubbered. The fucks were at best uncomfortable and worse painfully unsuccessful, and I assumed I was a crap bottom. One night I was picked up by this older guy from Bristol, and was pleasantly drunk by the time we got into bed. His dick was huge and I had some trepidation, but he lubed well, put the pillow under my arse and just slid in. The fuck was utterly perfect, I had never felt such pleasure, and then he kissed me and said sorry he came, he shouldn't have. It was 1990 and although I periodically fucked covered, I only took cock raw up my arse from then on.

My instinct is that sex with a guy that isn't swinging meat wouldn't be my thing; my previous straight fumblings letting me know I have no interest in the lady garden whatsoever. However, never say never and all that and I most certainly welcome transmen here to share and explain and hopefully widen my own understanding of the whole issue.

OK, not a cumdump so didn't think to click and read this thread, but glad I did as it really resonates. I've been having this conversation with close friends for about a year. Haven't been in a sex club for a couple of years and not missing it. Well, not quite right, I'm missing the beer and chats with friends and acqaintances between the fucks, but not missing the sex. I think this has concentrated my mind on some deeply inner thoughts of who I am and why I'm here, which in no way reflects any guilt towards a hugely slutty, sleazy and frenetic 30 years of piggy sex. Whether it's aging or the pandemic but I have found I value warmth and connection with my whole social circle more than yet another quick fuck. Now I own my past as mentioned, but a few guys who have lived a more saintly life around me have wanted me to show them the ropes in the slut circus, so I'm assuming there are opposing pressures on those who are feeling like they have missed out on something. However I've been sexually active for over 40 years and don't feel I'm missing out anymore. I'm definitely the guy lying in the gutter, looking at the stars mumbling "fuck that was good, now pass me my pension and gardening gloves" 😁 Mind you I still get reguarly cruised on the street and parks, so not saying never again....

Gives a whole new spin on what might have happened in no mans land at the World War One Christmas truce. They certainly wouldn't have been playing football.

If it makes you feel good, it'll add to your swagger and it becomes attractive. I stopped wearing mine in my forties as the nipple reacted to the metal a lot. Declaring an interest, but I think they look good an most men, and the heavier the better.

I've been in a relationship where the sex was pretty good and I never went elsewhere. Had a long time relationship where the sex was rubbish and I was fucking outside a few times a week. But generally reckon in my life a pool of men suited me best; various sexual attractions, some guys good friends, a hugely guilt free slutty outlook, and the ability to see a cruising guy from a mile away in pitch darkness all were benefits

Enjoyed reading this thread and the depth of thought many have expressed. I would consider myself a theistic pagan who sort of keeps the Big S on a shelf (literally as I have symbols above my bed). Never raised xtian (never had an adult convo with my parents about why they hated church, always regretted that). However growing up in the UK I was of course culturally groomed by the church. I do come from the branch of the family that experiences "weird shit" which is enough to say why I'm theistic. It took a long time to shirk that culture and it's moral framework. As I took a sort of classical approach to pagan life, picking up gods or forces as and when, it usually ties in with my thoughts and life at the time. I in no way expect anything from a god in terms of guidance or gifts or offerings, as I think we are equipped to make our own decisions and control our own lives. The Big S to me though represents independence of thought, and reassurance that I have it all in me. As I had quite little xtian indoctrination, I have only done one act of blasphemy which to me was done purely to affirm that I don't recognise the supreme authority of this god or his men over me. Others, particularly gay men, have been wounded far more then me by the church and it's control, so I do understand the need to perhaps do it more often and take diabolic pleasure in it. Ultimately I would say that once I took responsibility for myself I became kinder, more tolerant and less likely to take shit from people who have contracted out their world view to old men in a church somewhere. If I act a bit of a tosser sometimes, it's my self awareness that I work on and make amends myself. The idea that I would impose my world view on someone else is horrific but I have no compulsion about standing up for myself when, largely xtians, start talking nonsense about my sexuality or personal morals.

When I was younger and I was asked "what I was into?" I'd get crushingly embarrassed and mumble fucking nonsense. Hit my forties and it was "I fuck raw and can I get in your arse". Lay bys or clubs, it seemed to work everwhere

I have no hang ups in sex at all as long as it's consensual and legal, and I'm confident enough to say no to the fetishes that don't float my boat. However I've never understood the chastity thing at all, and guys who lock up for months at a time and are proud of not being sexual. If they want to do it, no problem at all, but when I fuck I get pleasure in the light behind the eyes and the orgasm. Wouldn't be interested in someone who sets off from the outset not to want to join in a mutual orgasm. Hasten to add, that guys who offer their arse in a sex club and don't shoot isn't the same thing IMHO, and have no problem with someone delaying their orgasm for an hour so they can be slutty.

Similarly Dare to Bare in Boltz, Birmingham. Pre-pandemic I was a pretty regular attendee and I never saw a condom apart from every now and then. Saw a fair few biohazard tats and guys didn't hold back from the saying what got them off. Even had a couple of guys telling me that they hoped I'd knocked them up. I think that the Cumunion brand may be a bit too upfront for the UK market where we perhaps still like to fuck like pigs without necessarily shouting about it.

First time at a sauna it was Pipeworks in Glasgow. Pleasantly drunk but being a bit old and grey, never really connected with anyone. Had a bit of a fiddle but couldn't really read the room so to speak. First time I was in a sex club was Boltz, and boy not shy at all. It was about 3 refurbs back and I went in an afternoon to check it out. Sat opposite a guy who was naked and with a pumped up cock and balls full of saline; thought well anything goes. The bar was quiet but there were pints on various shelves. Wanderd into one of the alcoves and a crowd were fucking a cumdump and being pretty vocal about it. Too late to join in, the bottom shot, but I stayed a few hours and fucked a few guys. Guess I'm better at reading that sort of room!

I'm like eros and grew up in an environment where smoking was the norm and those that didn't were rare and ridiculed. However hearing both parents cough up their lungs every morning was something that meant I wasn't going to try that. I had a job where my workplace was perpetually in a blue fog and that led me to be lectured sternly by my doctor about the smokers cough I had. He was astounded when I told him it was because of passive smoke. But in the 70s and 80s if you pulled, it was going to be with a smoker. I got familar with the brands and if you saw certain ones I wasn't going to kiss them under any circumstances. Used to hate guys lighting up mid fuck because of the smell so the rise of no smoking in clubs cheered me up no end. But weirdly none of the men close to me in the family have ever smoked but all the women have, and as a child being surrounded by gossiping chain smoking women gives the act a tinge of feminity to me and so the general tone of masculine, rough smokers has passed me by. I guess I'm a bit unusual in that, so I'm not implying it's a common thing. On the other hand there was a friendly skin I used to fuck in a cruising site and he used to smoke a type of thin cigar, and he was very sweet tasting when kissed unlike the dry straw like cigarette smoke.

It's interesting speaking from the other side. I have been on cancer treatment from just before COVID started and was reviewed regularly before for a number of years. I often speak to my doctor and nurse about the fact I consider they are talking in terms of probabilities not predictions and my outcomes are far more positive than the diagnosis suggested a few years ago. As it is so positive and my doctor has seen this, I joke I'm one of his successes that help him through the days when those he treats are suffering far more than I. One day in the waiting room a family came out in utter tears having heard the worse, admittedly with what looked like a 95 year old. It was telling that my doctor and his nurse had to break for a few minutes elsewhere as their faces clearly showed they were equally as upset. Personally I grappled with my mortality and am quite comfortable about a possible end, and part of that came from discussions about the pluses/negatives with the team about declining treatment and the pathway to death. While I discounted quite quickly the route of declining, it left me with the feeling my doctor was actually a good healer looking at me holistically, and since he's only relatively young, comes across with a sense of confidence and warmth.

I've always said that I had incredibly wide variation in what I find attractive as it's far more polite than saying I'm a slag. Now in my very late fifties, I've rarely found guys up to early twenties attractive. However in the intervening decades, twenty something guys have become beefier and hairier, so I'm not so strict. Personally I have a physical attribute attraction, but it is really the eye contact and vibe that transcends that. It's one of the reasons I don't really do online and apps; there is something quite magical in the eye contact and the connection, especially in a sleazy venue. I'm happy to follow that connection when it conflicts with my physical triggers. So great sex with oaps, posh guys, married guys and the like.

Fascinating thought experiment. I discussed a tangent of this the other day with a friend. I've been quite promiscous and was surprised how little bad sex I had. Just two events were unpleasant and compared to the thousands of other fucks that's a good ratio. I've always recognised that sex is a huge range of activities and approaches, so it's a bit like saying whether a bag of chips is better than a lemon ice cream. I've had some good relationships where the deed has been quite vanilla, but full of warmth and connection in it's exploration. I've had loads of one off events with unknown partners that have been intense but short and pretty dirty. I have no expectations on the future as none of us are entitled to expect anything in any arena, let alone sex. However as a fit, hairy, slutty twenty something I used to enjoy the 60/70 year old guys in toilets and laybys, and they were often complimentary on my charms and abilities. As a less fit, middle aged guy covered in coarse body hair going grey, it does seem I'm getting those younger guys in a bit of a karma reward. The only thing I perhaps am never going to get and miss because of changed behaviour is overnighters. Thirty odd years ago, there was little sex club activity in my part of the country, and as a consequence, I used to do my sex in hotels on overnighters. Then you often had a whole "relationship" in one day with someone from another country or town. Sex a few times, sharing of lives, finding a soul mate almost and move on in both sides (like the film Weekend). I remember some of those encounters vividly and think of them often, and in the days before social media had no way of maintaining real connections. The briefness of the experience sharpens it and gives it a specialness that preserves it beautifully.

had a brief fling with a minister about twenty years. Really sad, as he had came out and he moved to my town. His family disowned him, he was thrown out of his church in disgrace and his wife reported him to safeguarding as she said he was a risk to their children. he was literally a mess and it really emphasised the whole hypocrisy of the xtian church based on love.

I was in a long term relationship where we never used condoms and it crashed to an end. As I hit the inevitable slutty stage, in the early years of the internet, I found references to the bareback movie (Blue Moon somehing) and was reading all the negative comments, but even on the old prebroadband era thumbnails I was instantly attracted. I knew Titpig before of course, so it was a revolution to see him and other dadbod guys fucking with abandonment. That was the start, and I was in the cruising areas just topping everyone I fancied without caring. My ex had a crush on this well known bear in the neighbourhood and used to be quite cruel about it. However the bear was an utter slut, and was a nice guy and he and I fucked loads and always raw. We always ended up in the same lay by and he would fuck everyone around and loved his barebacking reputation and it rubbed off on me. Also an honourable mention to a couple of European guys I chatted to on the old bearwww site, who we would talk in code, but then came out as proud barebackers and so I guess that was my tribe.