Fucking Gone Wrong? Funny/Humiliating/Offensive Stories Anyone?

[thomas12]

I dunno if this is in poor taste or if there's just no audience here for this here, as this site is filled with stories that make for a constant, throbbing erection, but we all know fucking ain't always a porn show. Today I was on here reading and somehow I just had/have an overwhelming desire to ask how many of you have had not-cool fuck stories? I don't mean to disrespect the group or derail it and if it's not wanted, then apologies. I just figured for all the hottest and dirtiest stories, some of you have to have some that are probably (now) hysterical, embarrassing or just wrong. Doesn't have to be funny even, it could be a dude you met online who looked like a model but when he knocks on your door you're greeted by an obese foreign guy from India (happened to me, I should've figured by the really bad typing, but I was too turned on by the pics to care).

I dunno how inappropriate this will be seen (I know that seems a bit ironic), but this one happened to a friend and thought I'd share to start off. No, it wasn't me. I'd own up to it.

This guy while in college was so jacked about a fuck he arranged to have one night because he decided he was going to live webcam it. It was also his first bareback fuck. Had it all set up to get a good shot of the dudes ass and his dick going in and out. He was so proud of himself it was borderline creepy. He was a bit antisocial too. He was an engineering student with the 1970s glasses, who was completely unattractive in his face and demeanor but had a big dick and so he was able to score ass from those who just like big dick. But he was a nice guy, so... He privately sent the link to some of us, which I pray to God the bottom had consented to this. But just a minute or two in, as the top is acting like he's a porn star cause he knows people are watching, you hear a weird rip sound. His dick then either pops out because of misdirection of his thrusting, or it was pushed out by the bottom... How could it have been pushed out by the bottom? Well, I kid you not, it was like someone popped the cork off this poor bottoms ass. Shit sprayed all over the top. I don't mean a little. I mean it was like an explosion....

Obviously I was like, "what the fuck? Did that really happen?"

I watched the top just stay in position, his dick increasingly getting limp, looking at himself as the bottom crawls off to the right until he's off screen, repeatedly saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

I think the dude was in such shock he forgot he still has his camera on, til someone IM'ed him "DUDE HE JUST TOOK A SHIT ALL OVER YOU!" Then he quickly turned off the cam.

Nowadays, this would have easily been able to be saved, YouTubed and put everywhere (and then awsuits) cause, you know, kids are stupid and cruel. But damn, it was like one of those live TV moments where you felt like you just saw something amazing. Amazingly terrible.

The kid was so humiliated, cause obviously the other gays made sure to call him names like "limp shiznit" and "the human enema" so I tried to cheer him up by making fun a the bottom and confidence boosting him til he finally found the entire thing hysterical himself. But he was turned off from topping for the rest of the time I knew him, cause we lost touch like, a year later.

I am so thankful that has never happened to me. Always had clean bottoms.

[NiceHard1]

Ok. That would be pretty funny to see. I have not had anything quite that tragic, but have had my share of bad fucks. It happens. They can't all be great, otherwise t he great ones would not be great if they didn't have something mediocre or terrible to compare to.

I had one painful scene in a gang bang porn shoot. There was a designated bottom and several of us to top him. Only none of us were attracted to the bottom, and the bottom was not really putting out good energy, so you can guess, the tops were having a hard time getting hard. I usually do pretty well, but it was a struggle for me as well. Others of us on the set started fooling around with each other to get arroused so we could go fuck the appointed bottom.... Thankfully bareback. I'm not sure how they got a whole movie out of the scenes....it was mya least favorite shoot ever.

[thomas12]

NiceHard1 - I don't envy gay porn stars, but bareback gay porn stars, I do. And that's awesome you genuinely enjoy doing it, cause I always worried that bb porn stars were all just talked in to it. It should be people who like it.

As for this guy, at least you guys were professional about it, way more courteous than he should've gotten especially if he was actually performing bad. He wasn't one of those awful grunters was he? The ones who lay there like a slab of meat and think it's all about moaning loudly as they keep glancing at the camera to see if the shoot is over? There's one guy on those gay bareback porn pay-sites that is listed here who does just that.

That's pretty bad, man. I get hard just thinking about bareback and you get to do it all day. So this guy must be epically bad. I'll have to look you up now! Thanks for the story.

[RIMPARTY]

Around 1999, My bf went to the White Party in Palm Springs with friends. The dance floor was packed with hot sweaty gay men in white clothes, and my boyfriends group huddled n bumped n grinded each other for hours! So one of the guys from the group yells out "I'm gonna go pee, does anyone want me to get em a cocktail?" ..."No thanks, we're good!". So he leaves, and when he yets back just 10 minutes later, he joins the group with a look of horror and disgust. Apparently while making his way thru the dancefloor, he came across a group huddled around a sweet bubble butt tanned up n smooth bottom slut, standing but bent over and ass pooching while this big hot muscle giant w a massive meaty cock raw fucks that boy. Soon the big top slows down and says he needs to catch his breath. He pulls the plug on that boy and suddenly, watery shit blasts outta that bottoms ass and sprays a handful of guys nearby, all dressed in white...now spotted like cows with brown poop. The stink, and the fear of a possible 2'nd explosion, caused an enormous surge from the area. Kind of like the atom bomb effect, a 20' diameter space was cleared out, whilst the shit spraying bottom just stood in total shock and embarrassment. True Story, I kid you not!

[raw_n_toxic]

Hey RIMPARTY- " all dressed in white...now spotted like cows " now that's funny I probably would've added "well they were fucked till the cows came home and here they are.

[dtguy_367]

Fuck farts. I learned after getting fucked, close your legs. Nothing actually ever came out other than air, it's just really hard to look sexy when these noisy farts come out.

[Toxxic]

Following on from dtguy_367 This is probably a more after fucking story, but you know when you read in porn how hot it is when the gang banged bottom feels the loads running down his legs? Well I can tell you it's not hot at all when that happens on a crowded night bus in London and (what they never mention) it's accompanied with huge wet farting and frankly a really strong & obvious cum smell!

This happened to me after a night in a bareback fuck party/club, I'd stuck my cock in god knows how many blokes & been stuck in my turn. I think I had 4 or 5 loads in me. I had a gut full of air like someone had used a pump & spunk mix & sooner or later something has to give. Especially when you're arse muscles have taken a hammering & aren't up to the job.

I can still feel how hot with embarrassment I suddenly felt I just didn't know where to look, I've never been so mortified. Maybe even worse as everyone around was being very polite & desperately trying to behave as if nothing was happening while trying to discretely step away..

Now of course I realise I should just have laughed out loud & just fronted it out but instead I got off as soon as I could, feeling every pair of eyes on me & scuttled into a little public garden to clean up under the trees.

It ended up alright as there were a lot of cruisers there & this got their attention, I ended up sucking off a couple more & taking another load to make up for what I lost.

I walked the rest of the way home though :-)

[seaguy]

Around 1999, My bf went to the White Party in Palm Springs with friends. The dance floor was packed with hot sweaty gay men in white clothes, and my boyfriends group huddled n bumped n grinded each other for hours! So one of the guys from the group yells out "I'm gonna go pee, does anyone want me to get em a cocktail?" ..."No thanks, we're good!". So he leaves, and when he yets back just 10 minutes later, he joins the group with a look of horror and disgust. Apparently while making his way thru the dancefloor, he came across a group huddled around a sweet bubble butt tanned up n smooth bottom slut, standing but bent over and ass pooching while this big hot muscle giant w a massive meaty cock raw fucks that boy. Soon the big top slows down and says he needs to catch his breath. He pulls the plug on that boy and suddenly, watery shit blasts outta that bottoms ass and sprays a handful of guys nearby, all dressed in white...now spotted like cows with brown poop. The stink, and the fear of a possible 2'nd explosion, caused an enormous surge from the area. Kind of like the atom bomb effect, a 20' diameter space was cleared out, whilst the shit spraying bottom just stood in total shock and embarrassment. True Story, I kid you not!

I bet that bottom wanted to just die right there with all those queens giving him the evil eye.

[Vegaznslut]

Last December I hosted a pump and dump session in a motel in San Diego and invited another bottom to share the guys with me.  We just communicated with a couple of guys from our Craigslist ad and were expecting a guy to show up soon.  Sure enough a guy showed up and opened the door but he looked a bit puzzled.  I thought he was shy and didn't know how to approach 2 bottoms at the same time so I said, "Just relax and take your pick."  So I just went into position and got ready to be fucked.

 

The guy looked startled and embarrassed at the same time and froze for a few seconds and didn't know how to react.  Without saying anything he just left with the door wide open leaving 2 naked gays exposed to the outside for anyone to see.  Then after a few seconds he returned and went ahead and closed the door.  We were afraid that he was going to report us to the management but then realized we could complain about his trespassing as well.  Later we learned that there was a X'mas party going on in the room next door and apparently he wandered off to the wrong room.  Either he wound up so traumatized or else he wished that he had gone ahead with fucking both of us and had a better time instead!....lol

[chargedodger]

In the mid seventies my fav hangout was a couple of adult bookstores near here.Had gotten to know some of the regulars and become part of a group on sat nites that would meet there and play games.One of the guys had a deck of cards with various sexual favours imprinted and each of us would draw one.We would do what was on our particular card while the rest of the group watched from an adjoining booth thru the gloryhole.My card said I had to suck off a stranger and swallow his seed.After watching one of the group get fucked and another seduce a stranger into blowing him it was my turn.It was decided I would go into the booth and leave the door ajar,a universal sign that joy could be found here.I was on my knees watching a gay film when a man walked in and latched the door.My gaze fixed on his crotch,and several hits of poppers later his manhood was between my lips.I could hear the comments of my friends in the next booth"He's doing it!"and such,as I worked at getting this man off.He soon obliged and a massive wave of cum flooded my mouth and throat.I showed my mouthfull of cum to the eyes at the gloryhole and swallowed it all.The stranger pulled my up and looked me in the eyes and knew my name.Said he had fantasy fucked me often ever since he first saw me at work.He worked at a shop just down the street from my job,and always seemed friendly.before but after that nite he would always stare at my lips when we got coffee and donuts.And he would bring me chocolate bars.So he wasn't a stranger and became a good friend and lover in an older daddy/.younger man relationship.And how we met was a constant source of laughter.

[CHELCBBTTM]

I had a neighborhood regular who liked to message me with public/semi-public places to go to, strip and wait for him to come breed me.

It was usually quite hot and I took plenty of seed on the streets of NY as taxis slowly drove by.

But this night he wanted me to go to his building and wait in the building gym. Asked me to wear my butt plug so I was good and ready for his big fat cock to just slam on in to me. I made my way over and, for the first time ever, was stopped by his doorman. My bud lived there with his BF so I couldn't say his name and as I was trying to convince the doorman to just let me up to the gym, my butt plug audibly popped out of my well-lubed ass. I froze and reached back to try to stop it but, after a moment bulging in the seat of my shorts, it fell out of the back of the mesh basketball shorts I was wearing (with just a jock.) and hit the floor with a wet thud.

I was as red as a tomato as i fumbled to pick up the slippery, lube-covered butt plug which was suddenly like a greased pig at the county fair.

The doorman tried to be discreet but his ear to ear smile made it clear he enjoyed watching me fumbling around, chasing the plug across the floor.

It felt great walking through Chelsea with the plug in my Cumhole but I now leave it home.

[Guest ohgodpozme]

I was a freshman in college at the end of my first month of classes in 1991 at the University of Utah. On my way through the art department, I got picked up hard by this guy--smoking hot, jacked up, real piece of all right. He wanted to get together that night, so I said yes. Neither of us lived on campus but we both lived in the same part of town, so I agreed to pick him up at eight. After a hasty pretense of dinner, we parked my '73 Ford Bronco at a scenic overlook, climbed into the back seat, and got busy with some serious tongue judo. In addition to being model-caliber hot, the guy kissed like a champ. I couldn't believe my luck. 

 

The parking spot was high on the east bench, with a breathtaking view over the Salt Lake valley that became invisible the instant the windows fogged up. Our shirts were half off, our pants were unzipped, and that's when a pair of headlights pulled up behind us, followed by a spotlight on the driver's side. This was 12 years before Lawrence v Texas, so the risk of two dudes going to jail for kissing was real. There was no time to get tucked in and zipped up, and no point in scrambling into the front seat; it was obvious what was going down and coming up in that old Bronco. The dude and I just kind of looked at each other for a second, What do we do? So I shrugged, reached over the driver's seat, and cranked down the window for the cop who was already out of his cruiser and walking up.

 

The cop turned out to be a county sheriff. He shined his flashlight through the open window into the backseat and took a look at us: two kids, faces flushed, breathing heavy, clothes clearly headed someplace other than their owners. A moment passed, then he said in a complete deadpan:

 

"You boys aren't spotlighting deer, are you?"

 

I was momentarily stunned. Dude beside me isn't breathing. Eventually I scraped some words together.

 

"No, sir. Does that happen here?"

 

"Oh yes," the sheriff replied, dropping his maglite's beam to the ground. "Archery season starts in a few weeks, poachers like to get up here and freeze deer with spotlights at night for an easy trophy."

 

"No sir, we are definitely not spotlighting deer," I said with the most candor I'd ever said anything in my life.

 

"All right. Let me run your tabs real quick, sit tight."

 

Less than five minutes later, still in total silence from Mister Muscles, the sheriff comes back and says, "You boys are good to go, have a good night."

 

The sheriff departed, and with him the ghost of any hope I had at getting laid that evening.

[jankoslave]

There was this car park at a rest stop with some action early evenings. One sommer evening i went there and found this super hot looking biker in his leathers... we went a bit further away to some bushes with usually no traffic, no bicicles or walkers. in our heat, i undressed to nothing and he startet fucking me... until only a moment later we heard some voices... an older couple came closer and i jumped behind some bushes... they must have seen us as they looked at us when they passed... we walked a bit further into the bushes and finished what we were there for.... but it was more of a quickie and he came soon.

the scene was still a hot turn on after i realised someone else could have watched us....

[Guest Cumlaut]

Some time in the second half of 2003, can't remember if it was just before I hit 18 or after, I was having a totally random bareback threesome with a big fat (but not huge) dude with shortish black hair, who I remember was 18, and this older dude (named Paul, I think) who was hosting us in his nice townhouse -  in a somewhat rough neighbourhood  in my shitty home city. I think we were all pretty horned up cause we had totally poo-poohed the idea of using condoms, during our online conversations beforehand.

 

The younger guy was, like I said, on the big side and cause of this and other reasons, I didn't really like him that much. Somehow his voice and demeanour just seemed "wimpy" and needy to me and he was a definite geek. So I thought he was nothing but a piece of shit for me to use and discard. We even talked about pissing on him but we didn't get round to it. The older dude, I have since realised was probably lying about his age. He said he was 33 but probably more like 43. Worked in IT, quite a fat 7 inch cock, bigger than mine but I wouldn't let him put it in me, various reasons.

 

(I remember these details so well because I ended up being a recluse for a really long time so didn't have any sex for many years in my 20s, when I should have been.)

Anyway, we were about to get down to it when the young dude told me, not to stick my decently-sized dick in his fat ass too quickly cause he has epilepsy or something like that, and sudden pain would cause him serious trouble. I guess despite being a pretty obvious slut, his ass still needed warm-up time and couldn't take dick instantly. He was only 18 after all.  I told him "okay", but given my attitude and being a little bastard, you guessed it -  I thought it would be super funny  to stick it all in at once, as hard as possible - which I promptly did, after applying lube.

Almost instantly, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, his tongue started lolling out of his mouth, and he was rolling around and making weird noises on the bed. Me and the other dude were totally shitting ourselves with panic. I'm not at all sure how long he was out for, but me and this guy were pretty much acting like headless chickens for the first 10 or 20 seconds (could have been more), then I started raising my voice saying oh shit etc, at which point the dude growled at me to fucking shut up, since, as he told me earlier, his visiting parents were sleeping in the next room(!!!).  Paul, who was pretty strong, laid him out "properly" on the bed with his head on the pillow, while he lay there shuddering and he eventually stopped moving. The other dude was about to call an ambulance, I think, when.........

The young guy just suddenly wakes up, sits up bolt upright as if nothing fucking happened and says "What's up guys, why did we stop fucking?".

Just when I was thinking that my move was going to land me in a jail cell (or at least deliver huge embarrassment). He just wakes up out of nowhere! I think he was out cold for at least 90 seconds, probably 2 minutes.

After catching our breath and spending a good quarter of an hour in disbelief, we actually decided to carry on and not waste an evening. We got back down to it pretty well, as if nothing had happened. The dude didn't hold it against me, I guess he didn't realise or remember that I did it on purpose.

Me and the older guy took turns to fuck his fat ass, and the little fucker didn't mind sucking my dick after it had been up his ass which was very impressive to me at the time. I think I eventually came in his mouth. Also in the middle of it I fucked the older guy's ass for a couple of times, he enjoyed my young cock very much. 

Anyhow, I went home not believing my good fortune, and having a scare story I would never forget.

Edited August 6, 2018 by Cumlaut

[ChainedBoy]

Was power fucking this hot bear I picked up on Growlr in his hotel room in Atlanta. Turns out we were attending the same conference. When in walks his coworker (it seems they had a shared room). The bear was freaked out and tried to squirm away. I gave him a slap, told him to get over it, and continued my fuck. The coworked walked out. As did i...once I dropped my load in the bear.