miko

Do you regret being pozzed? bad health now?

77 posts in this topic

On 2017-04-14 at 6:09 PM, tallslenderguy said:

... I don't regret anything I did that resulted in me getting HIV.

I think there's immediate and long-term regret.

I've felt the immediate regret a couple of times already when I thought I was infected with HIV. And I'm sure I would feel it again if in a few weeks I get the fuck-flu. A week or so ago I took a few anonymous loads at a bathhouse and I know I would feel a lot of regret if I think I'm infected or I am diagnosed in a few months. But this is the immediate type of regret.

I know that eventually I would come to terms with being poz and even see advantages on being poz (more unrestrained sex, stealthing and other poz fetishes). Most likely I would not feel long-term regret like many of you here, I would be happy and proud of being poz.

I'm sure that there are many poz guys who feel long-term regret for being poz. For some poz guys life may get too complicated (health insurance, money issues) and they are constantly regretting being poz and even feel depressed about it. But we don't usually hear from those guys here. I remember reading a few comments in this thread where guys express their regret. Most who write in this thread have come to terms and even feel proud and happy to be poz.

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2 hours ago, hungry_hole said:

I think there's immediate and long-term regret.

I've felt the immediate regret a couple of times already when I thought I was infected with HIV. And I'm sure I would feel it again if in a few weeks I get the fuck-flu. A week or so ago I took a few anonymous loads at a bathhouse and I know I would feel a lot of regret if I think I'm infected or I am diagnosed in a few months. But this is the immediate type of regret.

I know that eventually I would come to terms with being poz and even see advantages on being poz (more unrestrained sex, stealthing and other poz fetishes). Most likely I would not feel long-term regret like many of you here, I would be happy and proud of being poz.

I'm sure that there are many poz guys who feel long-term regret for being poz. For some poz guys life may get too complicated (health insurance, money issues) and they are constantly regretting being poz and even feel depressed about it. But we don't usually hear from those guys here. I remember reading a few comments in this thread where guys express their regret. Most who write in this thread have come to terms and even feel proud and happy to be poz.

Hi hungry,

I appreciate your thoughtful response, it got me to think more about this. I see your point and agree, I did have initial sadness and disappointment over getting HIV, but that was all related to fear of sickness and cost.  Now it doesn't matter to me either way. I am neither sick or out of pocket to treat the infection. 

I don't have any wish to infect another person, stealth or otherwise. To me HIV is like any other illness. I wouldn't want to give someone the flu, but I am not going to cloister myself to 'protect' them or me, nor do I expect that from another person. I'm going to take precautions, like wash my hands and even let them know I have the flu.  For me to stop having natural sex the rest of my life to either prevent getting it or spreading HIV is not an option. Receiving seman is a huge part of sex for me.

I had a lot of unprotected sex when HIV could still kill you, I was married (to a woman) and caught in the web of a religion/culture that said I couldn't be who I am. I had a lot of regrets then and didn't have HIV. But even then, my regrets were not enough to keep me from wanting to be bred. 

I've been through a lot and paid a pretty high price to come to a place of self acceptance. I am completely free of any regrets for who I am and I think that spilled over into my answer for this question. More clearly, I do not regret anything I have done that may have precipitated my getting HIV, but I am pretty neutral about having HIV itself. I am fortunate enough to have converted at a time when effective meds are available to control it. I have insurance and drug cards, so my meds to not cost me anything (yet?). So far, no side effects that I know of from the meds. 

For me, my identity is not tied into HIV, so there is no question of pride or shame. I don't consider any disease a 'gift,' so that doesn't factor in for me as far as giving or receiving goes. My health is good, so no regrets in that sense so far. 

 

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