Feeling under the weather, paranoid about this being the fuck flu

[Ravenholm]

I recently discovered the joys of bottoming bareback while on chems earlier in December last year. I expect my partners to be open and straight-forward about their HIV status but maybe due to the fact that I've been feeling a bit under the weather lately, I've been increasingly paranoid about whether or not the current symptoms I'm experiencing are the fuck flu or just withdrawal symptoms from all the party chems I've taken now.

I've been experiencing a sore throat, chronic fatigue and minor muscle + joint aches and pains for the past few days.

Do you think I should be very worried or it's probably just a cold I've caught from being naked most of the week?

I'm going to get tested for HIV anti-bodies as fast as I can but my concern is that it won't detect anything since I'm still in the window period. I apologize if my post are not very carefully worded and my thoughts seem to wander as I type but this issue has kept me up for several nights and I'm not in the best mental state right now.

[walescub]

I had them symtoms time and again up to a week of heavy bb sessions, where I kust took all loads going in dark rooms and fetish clubs which I knew attracted a high proportion of poz lads, however I tested neg last summer so it wasn't fuck flu I had, was just the side effects of partying and not sleeping for 36 hours plus!

[GermanFucker]

The likelyhood of it being something else than HIV is very high: Withdrawal, flu season or one of the many other STDs that are way easier to catch than HIV. As it would be too late to do anything about it anyway (e.g. PEP, Post Exposure Prophylaxis), what you should do is just relax and take an HIV test once it will be conclusive (usually after 12 weeks, but if you can't wait that long, you can get one 8 weeks after the last risky contact and it will be about 90% accurate).

Antibody tests are more accurate over time, approximately like this:

4 weeks - 60% accurate

5 weeks - 70% accurate

6 weeks - 80% accurate

8 weeks - 90% accurate

12 weeks - 97-100% accurate (only rare exemptions)

So if it helps you to relax, you can get tested earlier, but you must make sure to get TESTED AGAIN LATER to do away with any doubst about the result.

But with all due respect: If it gets you THIS paranoid, you frankly shouldn't take drugs and have bareback sex. Better stick to what you can handle mentally, whatever that means for you (that can even be barebacking but without the drugs). You should be able to handle the risks and possible outcomes of your action (depending on the drugs and their way of administration, that can not only be HIV but hepatitis etc.).

If you are at peace with your own decisions, you can stop worrying and instead enjoy the sex.

[TigerMilner]

It could be just a cold but the scenario you describe is a classic scene for getting pozzed. I got tested six days into the flu-like symptoms and even with a raging fever of 103.9 I tested negative. I didn't test positive till a month later. The test is for the antibodies, not the virus, so it takes a little time for the body to produce them in sufficient quantity for the test to read. If you have good insurance, you could request the test for the virus, but at this point there is really no rush. Results take a week. They will do it anyway once you get a positive reading on the first test. It is what it is. But you need to get the partying in check. Seems it might be taking over your life. It does. But you can take it back.

And don't expect guys you are partying with to be reliable when it comes to discussing HIV status. Most guys get it from guys who don't yet know they are positive. So don't go the blame route if you find it is your reality. Who you got it from is not really important. We are adults and we take risks.

[Ravenholm]

The likelyhood of it being something else than HIV is very high: Withdrawal, flu season or one of the many other STDs that are way easier to catch than HIV. As it would be too late to do anything about it anyway (e.g. PEP, Post Exposure Prophylaxis), what you should do is just relax and take an HIV test once it will be conclusive (usually after 12 weeks, but if you can't wait that long, you can get one 8 weeks after the last risky contact and it will be about 90% accurate).

Antibody tests are more accurate over time, approximately like this:

4 weeks - 60% accurate

5 weeks - 70% accurate

6 weeks - 80% accurate

8 weeks - 90% accurate

12 weeks - 97-100% accurate (only rare exemptions)

So if it helps you to relax, you can get tested earlier, but you must make sure to get TESTED AGAIN LATER to do away with any doubst about the result.

But with all due respect: If it gets you THIS paranoid, you frankly shouldn't take drugs and have bareback sex. Better stick to what you can handle mentally, whatever that means for you (that can even be barebacking but without the drugs). You should be able to handle the risks and possible outcomes of your action (depending on the drugs and their way of administration, that can not only be HIV but hepatitis etc.).

If you are at peace with your own decisions, you can stop worrying and instead enjoy the sex.

Thanks, I understand I do come across as a bit of a pussy when faced with these things. I recently underwent a minor mental breakdown due to some relationship issues where I went "Fuck it, I'm just going to do everything I feel like doing and not give a damn.". Now that I'm myself, I've realized while I can probably handle life being poz relatively well, I'd still rather not risk giving it to people who I have sex with regularly.

Not going to play the blame game or point fingers, but some of the articles and fiction about stealth pozzing or bug chasing/giving did not help with my inherent paranoia. It's been a very long time since I've let myself go and be in a situation where I'm even remotely not in control of everything.

Do appreciate the replies and input from you all. Going to get tested (which is a moot point) and get some info from some of charity/NGO in a few days, will keep you lot posted.

[FatFuckPigMA]

Sometimes the flu is just the flu. I think the issue here is the stress it is causing you. You need to honestly ask yourself is the risk you are accepting is worth it.

The first time I let a stranger bareback me in the age of AIDS...I'd say it was 87/88ish...and I was so freaked out I broke out in stress eczema. I thought it was scabies at first and nearly burned my skin off with Kwell until I finally went to a dermatologist.

But I also had to ask myself if I would let it happen again? After much soul searching I found the answer was yes and I realized to ruin my enjoyment with stress was counter productive. In other words, at a certain point I said "fuck it."

It actually took me a few more years to become a fully realized bareback pig bottom because I was in a relationship and my partner already had a litany of health problems I did not want to complicate. But once we broke up in the early 90s, I was at the old Pilgrim Theater in Boston almost every weekend hunting for anonymous, raw cocks . And because I had already set aside my anxiety, I had a fucking blast even though this was pre- cocktail and the risk was much, much greater than now.

[GermanFucker]

Thanks, I understand I do come across as a bit of a pussy when faced with these things. I recently underwent a minor mental breakdown due to some relationship issues where I went "Fuck it, I'm just going to do everything I feel like doing and not give a damn.". Now that I'm myself, I've realized while I can probably handle life being poz relatively well, I'd still rather not risk giving it to people who I have sex with regularly.

Not going to play the blame game or point fingers, but some of the articles and fiction about stealth pozzing or bug chasing/giving did not help with my inherent paranoia. It's been a very long time since I've let myself go and be in a situation where I'm even remotely not in control of everything.

Do appreciate the replies and input from you all. Going to get tested (which is a moot point) and get some info from some of charity/NGO in a few days, will keep you lot posted.

I don't think you're being a pussy. And even if you were: You shouldn't give a flying fuck what other people think. It's your life. My point is that you should be comfortable with the things you're doing. An endless cycle of binging and then guilt and regret simply is no healthy way to live your life. Just sort your priorities and act accordingly. So you don't have to worry anymore.

It doesn't mean there aren't any risks. I know a few guys who only fuck bareback with a few "neg" buddies. They realize that one of their buddies might still catch and not even know. But for them it's easier to deal with with getting infected knowing that they took a level of risk they were comfortable with. It's a huge difference between being able to say "ah well, bad luck" and hypothesizing every day "if only I had acted differently...".

What specific level you are comfortable with (sex with acquaintances only, sex with strangers, sex with drugs or pot only, safe with some or bareback with everyone, alcohol or sobriety...) is completely and totally up to you. FatFuckPig made the decision for himself. Yours can be totally different. Or not. Your choice.

But it's good to get tested. It's always better to know. And thanks for keeping us informed. One always wonders what happened if a guy never shows up again.

[Ravenholm]

Going to get tested later today. In other news, my cold/flu like symptoms are clearing up after taking some cold and flu pills. I don't reckon the fuck flu is something that gets cleared up just like that, does it?

Also, thank you for the continued advice, probably going to have a good think about how much of a slutty cumwhore do I feel comfortable being.

[Ravenholm]

And the results are in...I am still neg and my flu symptoms are being kept under control with over the counter cold medicine (still have a bit of a sore throat and my breath still feels a little bit hotter than usual). Probably going to get checked again in a few weeks to make sure.

Given it a good think, while I'm not entirely ecstatic about being poz, it's something I could live with. I don't think I can live with myself if I gave it to my partner though. So I'll need to rein in my desires to be a cum dump and pussy bottom for now.