Bottoms: How Quickly Should A Top Get Hard?

[rawTOP]

Let's say you hookup with top. While it's great if his dick springs to life instantly with a huge boner, in most cases it takes some time. I've always been a little self-conscious when a bottom is giving me a blowjob trying to get me hard and I'm not responding quickly enough. Thing is, how long is too long? At what point does the fact that he's not completely hard become a turn off? What if it took the top 5 or 10 minutes?

[HMR89]

Personally I like the top to be hard beforehand because I like knowing that he wants to fuck me. But if it takes any more than 15-20 minutes I'd be just like "No"

[Titus]

My tops have always been significantly older than me, and this is something that I've encountered somewhat regularly with guys who are 50+. For me, the issue is more about functionality than me being turned off. I get that there are any number of reasons why my top might not immediately get hard - many of them having nothing to do with me - so I don't take it personally. And it's not always easy for me to find the time to hook up with guys. It happens far less than I'd like, so when it does happen, I can't afford to let a bruised ego get in the way of me getting fucked. No, it's only a problem if it becomes clear that he won't be getting hard enough to fuck me. At that point I'd be majorly disappointed, but not turned off.

[buzztham]

after 5 min it becomes a pain to keep sucking but i'll do to get fucked

[TigerMilner]

If a guy doesn't respond to me with a hard on I assume he's either A: not into me, or B: drunk or high. Either way, I lose interest.

[mjapie1]

To me it's all in the chemistry. Oral can be very horny but if there is little interest from one person then the other(s) will pick that up soon enough. Some guys can get a hard on in an instant but lose it just as quickly while it may take another guy a bit longer...it's the variety that makes it interesting.

[HotSeed]

I can suck on a guys cock for a long time because I really love doing it, but I love getting fucked even more so I prefer a guy to get hard pretty quick like 5 minutes or so.

[Bttm2go]

I love sucking cock before and after getting fucked. He can take as long as he wants.

[NLbear]

If after five minutes of sucking is cock he isn't hard, I start wondering if he can ever get it up.

[rawTOP]

If after five minutes of sucking is cock he isn't hard, I start wondering if he can ever get it up.

Five minutes can feel like a long time. I've had pump-n-dump hookups that were shorter. So I know what you mean.

[NLbear]

Five minutes can feel like a long time. I've had pump-n-dump hookups that were shorter. So I know what you mean.

Yeah, I love sucking cock, don't get me wrong, but I am not a champion who can go on for hours. My jaw will start to hurt. After a while I want him to be hard enough so I can turn around and feel him up my ass. I am sure that a lot of the "older" guys I hook up with have swallowed a little blue pill. They don't have a problem (although sometimes those little blue pills fail....) and usually srping to attention. But if it is a younger guy, say in their 30s then I start wondering if maybe the chemistry is not there and if it even will lead to something or we just better call the whole thing off.

But I also wonder how the tops feel if they hook up and get frustrated if they can't get hard? Maybe a topic for a different poll....

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

I guess I am impatient. If two minutes into it he isn't responding he probably won't. But difficult to set a fixed time to stiffen. Too many other dynamics at play. So on upper end ten minutes with no bone would probably indicate no play will continue.

[neg4poztop]

I recently told a guy i wasnt into it after it was apparent his dick wasnt getting hard..i think he was nervous too,but the worst thing was his cock wasnt so fresh..but i was nice about it..

[Cherry Hole]

I can't handle the immediate gratitude I see displayed throughout the top community when it comes to anonymous hookups. Very infrequently do you find a top on CL or wherever that will take time to at least talk about sex for a few minutes just to get to know one another a little bit. The intimacy is too deep I think, and intimacy leads to kink, and kink requires communication so most guys who rush past introductions straight to sex are also straight in bed, meaning square not into girls.

But now I am appalled that my fellow bottoms respond for the most part they need the top to be hard from the minute he arrives, or give a time limit beyond which they lose interest. This is totally unreasonable to think that being anything less totally supportive and sensitive to a man not yet erect will do him any good. And sucking like a madman on a limp cock isnt going to help either. The pressure to get hard will be obvious and distracting. Whenever I've encountered this situation I first off remember I'm a sub and I put all sexual aggression away.. Then I just rub and touch slowly, kiss softly or whatever they want.

[CaliSmoker]

Great reply, Cherry Hole. As a sometimes bottom, and often top, I REALLY get tired of bottoms hitting me up and being so fucking thirsty.

Don't get me wrong, I love -hungry- bottoms, that is to say, ones that know what they want. What they want is my cock and cum in their hole.

That's OK. I feel like some amount of compromise should be acceptable, particularly from a bottom to a top.

When I'm bottoming, if a top loses focus or just starts to flag a little in the hard on department, I have no problem at all switching positions or sucking his cock fully hard again as long as this doesn't go on forever. Of course even patient queers have their limits and I am no exception. But I certainly wouldn't toss someone out, especially if they are hot/hung just because they didn't get hard in x number of seconds/minutes.

Once in a while, I get the feeling described above where I feel like the bottom is rushing me and just wishes my load could magically appear in his asshole. It can be really nervewracking. Like having to pee really bad with a bunch of people not only watching but audibly "cheering" you on (piss shy guys will get it). When I see this happen, not only is it a huge turn off (tops can feel objectified too, and it isn't always desirable) but it certainly doesn't help or motivate me in any way to fuck them, let alone breed them.

I had a 18 or maybe 20yo kid come over in the past couple months. Wanted me to breed him. It was late as fuck, but I was cruising BBRT so I figured why not?

He came over and I said 'so what's up?.' He replied "fuck me." I told him to suck my dick. He declined, saying "I don't suck dick." Me: 'at all??'

Him: "No, not at all."

I knew this was going to be a long night.

I took one for the team. I put on a silicone cockring and put on some leather porn and jacked myself off (from a semi hard state no less) close to cumming while rubbing my cock on and in his asshole. When I was about to cum, I shoved my cock in deep with my hand and made sure to get it all in there.

Yeah, he got his load. Yes, I shot mine. Was it worth it? To me, no. But I have a repuatation to uphold and a screen name to live up to, so I did it. STILL, I only like to throw fucks that I myself would appreciate taking. That means if I'm not feeling 110% or if I'm feeling tired or lazy, I will have to turn a guy down even if he is really hot.

I guess as I get older, it's not so much quantity as quality. I'd much rather spend some time over a night etc. with a guy who actually at least pretends to give a shit about me and then work into some hot sex more organically. Meeting for strictly sex and going from the door to naked and "FUCK ME" is soooo off of my to do list for a long time.