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I think I'm going to test poz... Scared, confused and don't know what to do.


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For anyone following this thread who is interested... I actually just started up my blog. It's called "Life Going From Negative to Positive." I am anticipating that I will be writing some really good articles that many of you may find interesting. Again, the purpose of the blog (aside from being therapeutic for me as I like writing) is to be thought-provoking, entertaining at certain points, reflective, HOT (yes, there will be some graphic articles), and also somewhat educational. I am writing the blog under the name "Cooper Slayton," which is a combination of a couple of alter ego nicknames I have had throughout the years (don't ask), but it's not my real name in case you were wondering.

I just posted the first article today, titled "Fear of the Bug in the Early Years." It is pretty short. I think some of my upcoming articles will be longer. It basically is about how I carried a real fear of HIV from childhood- all true stuff. The web link is http://neg2poz.blogspot.com/2014/02/fear-of-bug-in-early-years.html.

Let me know what you guys think! Feel free to comment either on here or on the blog page itself.

Will be checking out your blog. Keep your head up. If you ever wanna talk, give me a holler. I'm 29, been poz for 8 months. It's an emotional ride. Even after a few months of letting it sink in. More young people need to do more to educate others. I knew nothing about HIV until after I got it and started doing research. It's sad to know, I have lost friends because of this... and other friends have lost their friends. One of my friend's friend told her she needed to get tested because my boyfriend and I lived in her house for almost 2 months. The part that hurt the most is that she actually went and got tested. :( She said she only did it to shut everyone up, but I just say fuck them. If they think like that, they are uneducated fools who you don't need as friends. Now, the only friend I seem to have left is her mother, as the actual friend isn't talking to me anymore, and even the mother makes remarks regarding the HIV and my boyfriend. :( Sometimes I feel it's best if I weren't here, but then who would put all of these uneducated fools in their place? ;)

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RWHID, have you considered counselling? In the UK we're noticing more and more that people get more from counselling after they've lived with HIV for six months to a year, which is one reason that the Long Term Survivors' Group has started doing a couple of Newly-Diagnosed weekends per year as well. You say that it's an emotional ride: you're not wrong there. It's kinda like we're the target for other people's ignorance and they don't actually realise that their words are the language of prejudice. One of the projects that the charity I work for (as a volunteer - after 25 years of treatment I'm too worn out now to maintain a working week) is a message board open only to people with HIV. If you want the address, drop me a PM.

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I saw my ID specialist today for my every 90 day bloodwork. Still undetectable (<20 parts per ml) and my T cells are at 768 (42%). Except for the anemia I have been struggling with, I am very healthy. I also had two pap smears. I mention that because it is not a typical test and it makes me all the more happy that I have a (HOT) gay doctor who I can say with a straight face that I need a pap smear and he knows why and also how important it is. In fact, I didn't even bring it up. I had one a year ago so he said it was time for another. Women have their gynecologists, and we bb bottoms need to take care of our holes too.

Now tonight, I watched the movie Philadelphia with Tom Hanks. It really made me feel deep gratitude for how much better we have it today than in the 90s. I remember being young, stupid, and horny. I remember how it felt to want something so bad that was so BAD. I knew many guys who weren't as lucky as I. I have tremendous admiration for all the survivors who made it through the early years and are still with us. That movie really made me feel grateful on a whole different level.

Hey guys, just thought I'd check in with an update. Spoke to my ID doctor today. All my labs came back and my VL is 70,000 (doc said that's pretty high and should start meds right away). Wondering if I should be alarmed by that. Genotype came back fine he said- no drug resistance he could find. So I have an appointment to see him Friday and hopefully I can get on meds ASAP.
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I saw my ID specialist today for my every 90 day bloodwork. Still undetectable (<20 parts per ml) and my T cells are at 768 (42%). Except for the anemia I have been struggling with, I am very healthy. I also had two pap smears. I mention that because it is not a typical test and it makes me all the more happy that I have a (HOT) gay doctor who I can say with a straight face that I need a pap smear and he knows why and also how important it is. In fact, I didn't even bring it up. I had one a year ago so he said it was time for another. Women have their gynecologists, and we bb bottoms need to take care of our holes too.

Now tonight, I watched the movie Philadelphia with Tom Hanks. It really made me feel deep gratitude for how much better we have it today than in the 90s. I remember being young, stupid, and horny. I remember how it felt to want something so bad that was so BAD. I knew many guys who weren't as lucky as I. I have tremendous admiration for all the survivors who made it through the early years and are still with us. That movie really made me feel grateful on a whole different level.

Oh good point. Anal pap smears are very important to gay men, especially if they are HIV+ Its a good idea to get one once a year if you are over 30. My doctor also said that anyone HIV+ should get them regardless of age.

I have to say I am really glad that I live in a time where I have stuff like PrEP, and that people with HIV can get such effective treatment. Hearing the stories from bearbandit, reading up on the aids crisis, and movies like Philadelphia really hit home. Gay men pretty must lost a generation from AIDS, and its important to learn from that.

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There is a GREAT Doc here in Lauderdale...does presentations on "Happy Heiny Health"....His practice is geared to HIV+ Gay Men... He's the man to see for this.

I saw my ID specialist today for my every 90 day bloodwork. Still undetectable (<20 parts per ml) and my T cells are at 768 (42%). Except for the anemia I have been struggling with, I am very healthy. I also had two pap smears. I mention that because it is not a typical test and it makes me all the more happy that I have a (HOT) gay doctor who I can say with a straight face that I need a pap smear and he knows why and also how important it is. In fact, I didn't even bring it up. I had one a year ago so he said it was time for another. Women have their gynecologists, and we bb bottoms need to take care of our holes too.

Now tonight, I watched the movie Philadelphia with Tom Hanks. It really made me feel deep gratitude for how much better we have it today than in the 90s. I remember being young, stupid, and horny. I remember how it felt to want something so bad that was so BAD. I knew many guys who weren't as lucky as I. I have tremendous admiration for all the survivors who made it through the early years and are still with us. That movie really made me feel grateful on a whole different level.

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  • 7 years later...
On 2/27/2014 at 9:38 PM, poptronic said:

Hey, glad to see you guys have taken an interest in the blog. I started up a new blog post and am about halfway finished with it. I will post it very soon, if not later tonight, by tomorrow night. I'll keep you posted when it goes up!

Any updates on your blog? You are or were newly diagnosed. Please seek out a support group.

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Boy, this is an old one!

But I wonder what became of this user? He tested poz when he really didn't want to. Seven years later, I wonder how he's coped with it so far. 

That gives me an idea: "Breeding Zone Members - Where are they now?" 

But people come and go all the time from a chat board, so it would be difficult to track down some people. And it's kinda invasive. Maybe not a good idea.

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1 hour ago, leatherpunk16 said:

Boy, this is an old one!

But I wonder what became of this user? He tested poz when he really didn't want to. Seven years later, I wonder how he's coped with it so far. 

That gives me an idea: "Breeding Zone Members - Where are they now?" 

But people come and go all the time from a chat board, so it would be difficult to track down some people. And it's kinda invasive. Maybe not a good idea.

One way to handle that might be to create the topic and ask only people who posted more than X years ago about having been newly diagnosed poz to recap their subsequent experiences. Or if that's too limiting, perhaps "Members who posted more than X years ago about some significant change in their lives as poz men", and likewise updating on where they stand now.

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