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Do You Discuss HIV Status Before Barebacking?


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Do You Discuss HIV Ststus Before Barebacking?  

545 members have voted

  1. 1. Do You Discuss HIV Ststus Before Barebacking?

    • Always
      11
    • Usually, but not for anonymous sex
      76
    • Only if I think he might be a different status than me
      35
    • Almost never - only if asked
      294
    • Never - avoid the question if asked
      79


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If it's a hookup profile (Sniffies, Grindr, A4A, BBRT), I may ask as part of the conversation just to know what I'm getting into. Then it's my decision about how much risk I want (or how hot the guy is). But if it's an ABS or something similar and a guy offers his hole, I'll just go with it and have fun. Having said all that, I haven't used a condom in 30+ years, so I guess I'm selective since I don't often go out and rut in a random dude's ass (or just very lucky). 

But I'm a versatile top, so I'm not offering my hole up the same way a cum dump will...and we all appreciate cum dumps. 😃

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Discuss?  No.  Answer truthfully?  Yes.  

I simply assume that any guy I fuck might be carrying unwelcome bugs, and therefore have taken all the steps available to avoid said bugs.  That doesn't mean I never do contract something, but it does mean I've done everything I can to be as healthy as possible and still maintain/nurture my sexual Lusts.  I get tested monthly for the "regrettables" that come occasionally, get it taken care of, and resume doing what I need to do.  Simple, right?

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On 5/25/2022 at 10:13 AM, Luxbrit said:

It’s definitely not the first thing I discuss with a potential hookup but let’s be honest in the end it always does come up. 

I think it’s quite a healthy thing to talk about your status and STI’s etc 

But then again it depends on the situation, if I’m on grindr or other apps websites then it kinda does come up in the convo 

but if I’m at a party or sauna I’m definitely not going round asking for those details, I’m too busy being ass up for the boys 

cool - can I ask: ever consider stopping your PrEP?

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I never discuss HIV status unless they ask, I know I neg still as my last test 3 weeks ago came back negative, guess PrEP takes the worry away. Bear in mind I was BB'ing from the start, during the AIDS epidemic as well, back then I having sex with both males and females.

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Before PrEP, I used to make a point of discussing it, fairly briefly and casually, but only if anal sex appeared to be in the cards. Typically I'd do so whether or not we intended to use a condom.

After PrEP, I seldom bring it up, though I'm happy to have the conversation if people want to (which isn't often lately). The exception is when I think one or both of us is up for a fetish scene, in which case I may bring up the topic obliquely in a way that invites that possibility.

And then of course there are the times when I really want sex, or sex with that particular person, so urgently that all that just goes out the window. Oink.

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I don’t if we talked online because it’s on my profile. 
And i don’t fuck bottoms that care….I prefer fucking the bend over and take all  loads bottoms so I assume they are already positive.

And when I get fucked I take all loads so no need to ask. And just like the bottoms I fuck, the tops I like are most likely positive.

but if I am ask I answer honestly.

 

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  • 5 weeks later...

I rarely do totally anonymous hookups - the bottom has seen my profile on some site or other, and I clearly state that I'm poz. Now if they state they are neg and only want neg but still hit me up, I will remind them that I'm not negative. If they still want to hookup, it's on and popping!

As I just posted in another thread though, if the bottom is in an anonymous situation offering their hole up to anyone who wants to fuck it, they relinquish the right to control whether or not they are fucked with/without a condom. Anonymous situations and control of what happens/how it happens are diametrically opposed (unless there is a "gatekeeper" involved).

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I don't know if I've commented on this before, my answer is yes. I don't really do anonymous sex, and if there's any chance that sex is in the offing I always disclose that I'm positive undetectable right away. That way if it's a deal breaker as little time is wasted as possible, and fewer feelings are bruised.

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