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poptronic

Ex Fuck Bud Freaked Out When I Told Him About My Poz Status

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He is FINE... Let it GO. As long as he is happy with this result, it's pretty accurate given the level of risk he had. Lose his NUMBER !

:-)

Just to update...

This guy texted me about 40 minutes ago saying that he went out and bought an OraQuick test and is going to do it. Also said that I better "pray that the test is negative, though I know it's going to be positive." Here's how our text conversation went after that...

ME: You don't know it's going to be positive. In fact, it's much more likely going to come back negative because you were the top, putting you at substantially lower risk.

HIM: BUT YOU HAVE HIV!!!! WE DIDN'T USE A CONDOM!! HOW CAN IT POSSIBLY BE NEGATIVE?!?!?!?! YOU KILLED ME, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT?!?! YOU FUCKING KILLED ME!!!

ME: Just take the test and let me know what the outcome is.

Is it unbelievable how naive he is about HIV? Ten minutes later, he texted me frantic that there was a line appearing on the test. I asked him which line and he said next to the C. Did he even read the instructions??? I told him that's normal and wait another 10-15 minutes before reading the test.

20 minutes later he texted me again to tell me there is only one line at the C on the test. I told him that means it's negative. He texted me back a few minutes later with these exact words, "I'm so sorry I accused you earlier. May God be with you."

Really?!?! A few hours ago he was threatening to ruin my life and now he's bringing God into it?? I told him I forgive him but he really needs to 1) learn how to manage his anger and 2) start using condoms because he clearly thinks that HIV is not a possibility for him to catch and it is.

He called me and we had a conversation about it. He also said that we should look for the guy who pozzed me to get back at him. He said he would help me because that guy put me at risk, which then put him at risk. I told him thank you, but I don't get off on revenge, it doesn't solve anything. He clearly does have severe anger issues.

Anyway, this neg OraQuick test was 6 weeks since our encounter. Mine was at 5 when it showed results. How accurate should I take that for?

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You need to lose his fucking number. Don't allow him back into your life. He will destroy your life with his energy. Trust me I've learned this. Crazy people will be crazy.

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YES LOSE HIS NUMBER and i hate to say this so dont yell at me I would not be surprised if he contacts you later if he starts chasing poz. I have seen guys go from scared of bugs to scary chasers.

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OMG! Fuck him! You don't need to tell nobody nothing! If they had sex with you raw, No Condoms, it's their problem, not yours! You have your neg papers, just use those to confuse him! Also, I'm told HIV can be in you 10 years without knowing (so I'm told), so tell him it was someone he fucked with in last 10 years, and not you!

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Where the fuck did this data come from...

OMG! Fuck him! You don't need to tell nobody nothing! If they had sex with you raw, No Condoms, it's their problem, not yours! You have your neg papers, just use those to confuse him! Also, I'm told HIV can be in you 10 years without knowing (so I'm told), so tell him it was someone he fucked with in last 10 years, and not you!

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wiki and tumblr? Hardly reliable researched options...

poptronic glad the young lad calmed down, but I agree with others, lose his number. Get MrNumber on your smartphne (if you have one) and block him.

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wiki and tumblr? Hardly reliable researched options...

poptronic glad the young lad calmed down, but I agree with others, lose his number. Get MrNumber on your smartphne (if you have one) and block him.

My Wikipedia and tumblr comment was a joke...

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My Wikipedia and tumblr comment was a joke...

i got that it was a joke.

i have no source and doubt the truth of it, but i remember someone like a doctor or one of the testers @ local clinics that it can take up to 6 months for the body to begin developing antibodies, which is what the tests short of blood work are testing for. without blood work there is no determination that it is present without the production of antibodies, which i was told could take like 6 months, whatever, a neg test is a neg test.

you shouldn't delete his number, you should block it entirely or save all records of your conversations to ensure that he can never try to harm you.

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OMG! Fuck him! You don't need to tell nobody nothing! If they had sex with you raw, No Condoms, it's their problem, not yours! You have your neg papers, just use those to confuse him! Also, I'm told HIV can be in you 10 years without knowing (so I'm told), so tell him it was someone he fucked with in last 10 years, and not you!

Are you sure? Not even my loosely sourced public schooling taught me that. I mean, I'm open to being proven wrong with real sources, but this sounds like information that may have been taken out of context (even if not meant intentionally).

To poptronic- please take this as nothing more than me trying to be helpful, because that is all I'm trying to do.... STOP FREAKING OUT OVER THIS. Okay, that may be a little over the top, but you should know my sense of humour by now lol. Like I've said to you before, you need to stop panicking over how this will "ruin your life" and so on. I don't know how old you are, and I'm not even sure I really care; what I do know is that you have the chance to act like an adult, and you're hesitant to take it (and I am not trying to sound demeaning by this). There is very little any person can do to ruin your life when you don't let things like this bother you. It sounds scary, but the actual chances of your life actually being ruined are slim. It's highly unlikely he will even continue his freak out after a while.

"We buy things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't like."

Not the best motivational quote I could come up with in this situation, but it comes around in full circle. You're trying to keep your personal status/image up with people you probably don't even want to be involved with. What is your reason? What is so special about these people that might one day believe this kid's lies? Do you really want to live your life in fear, or would you rather just live it like someone who had their head on their shoulders?

I'm sure many will take this in the wrong light, which is understandable; less than 10% of communication is in the words spoken, as the rest lies in body language/tone of voice/etc.. If you really don't want things to go bad, then don't react to this. This is just someone being emotional. You on the other hand have the advantage of being rational. Take advantage of that.

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Are you sure? Not even my loosely sourced public schooling taught me that. I mean, I'm open to being proven wrong with real sources, but this sounds like information that may have been taken out of context (even if not meant intentionally).

To poptronic- please take this as nothing more than me trying to be helpful, because that is all I'm trying to do.... STOP FREAKING OUT OVER THIS. Okay, that may be a little over the top, but you should know my sense of humour by now lol. Like I've said to you before, you need to stop panicking over how this will "ruin your life" and so on. I don't know how old you are, and I'm not even sure I really care; what I do know is that you have the chance to act like an adult, and you're hesitant to take it (and I am not trying to sound demeaning by this). There is very little any person can do to ruin your life when you don't let things like this bother you. It sounds scary, but the actual chances of your life actually being ruined are slim. It's highly unlikely he will even continue his freak out after a while.

"We buy things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't like."

Not the best motivational quote I could come up with in this situation, but it comes around in full circle. You're trying to keep your personal status/image up with people you probably don't even want to be involved with. What is your reason? What is so special about these people that might one day believe this kid's lies? Do you really want to live your life in fear, or would you rather just live it like someone who had their head on their shoulders?

I'm sure many will take this in the wrong light, which is understandable; less than 10% of communication is in the words spoken, as the rest lies in body language/tone of voice/etc.. If you really don't want things to go bad, then don't react to this. This is just someone being emotional. You on the other hand have the advantage of being rational. Take advantage of that.

I actually agree with you. Stop giving people this much power over your life and be mindful of who let in your life. Fuckbuds or not. Take time to learn who people really are because first impressions are usually bullshit.

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Glad that lad calmed down.

now do what everyone else is saying, lose that guys number and block, you don't deserve that kind of drama in your life, not now not ever. Most cell providers offer blocking for free, all you have to do is log into your account and look for that section (at least my provider has this as a free feature).

Good luck mate!

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I actually agree with you. Stop giving people this much power over your life and be mindful of who let in your life. Fuckbuds or not. Take time to learn who people really are because first impressions are usually bullshit.

Fear seems to be the most powerful emotion we have; it's no wonder why people will do nearly anything when they are in fear. For me, it's sad to see people living in fear, because they really have no idea just how powerful you can be when you no longer fear the petty things in life.

Most cell providers offer blocking for free, all you have to do is log into your account and look for that section (at least my provider has this as a free feature).

I have Verizon (not my choice), and it isn't free; however, you do get the ability to block 5 numbers for free at intervals of a few months (I think it's six). It's definitely a service that most people should make available for harassment situations, especially ones with this severity. An alternative is to use a service like YouMail. When I used them for my voicemail, I was able to have certain greetings for each number that called ( I believe google voice does this as well). If I remember correct, YouMail can actually block a number from leaving a message. If this is still available, you could simply make his number receive a generic vociemail message, and then disconnect without him getting a chance to leave a message. That way, you can record how often he texts/calls you, and you can report it to the police much easier if things do happen to escalate. Passive aggressive offence is not a bad idea when you can maintain a cool head.

But, if you'd rather not face the potential emotional problems, it's probably best to block his number entirely. Might not be a bad idea for you to get the police notified, and let them know the situation at hand. This will probably make your case look better should it go to court, and it shows you've made an effort to actually prevent legal problems from the start. While the cops may do very little right now, a filed report of plausible concern will only serve as a little bit of insurance. Trying to avoid police involvement only makes you look guilty in court; trust me on that one, I've seen it happen a lot. While I'm actively against our police/court system, and I'm a heavy supporter of proper anarchy, I'm recommending police involvement... Call it what you will lol.

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Rayne and BAMFJOCKS, who do you mean when you say "these people," that I am giving "these people" control of my life? I just want to keep this HIV status to myself. Is that so bad?

Rayne- once again, I appreciate your feedback, but I still don't think you fully get me, or really get what happened today. I woke up totally relaxed. I wasn't stressing. I am starting to live peacefully knowing I have HIV, even though it hasn't been even three weeks yet. I am starting to think about it less and less.

When I informed this dude this morning about my status he went crazy and threatened to out me and my status to everyone. I forgot to mention that he knows where I work, I'm a teacher. If you were a teacher, would you want some kid marching into the administration office to tell them about how they have a teacher in the school with HIV that infected him? Well, luckily his test came back negative, but if it came back positive, who knows what he would have done? Like I said, he has serious issues. There is a lot on the line for me and if anyone is going to tell anybody about my status, it will be me, no one else.

Can you really blame me for getting rattled up about this today? If you were in my shoes, would you not have been too? If this never happened this morning, my day would have been fine. I wasn't going to carry my day on with a constant "waaaaaahhh, I have HIV and I don't know what to do..." No, I'm past that stage. But this kid threw me a curveball I wasn't ready for.

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Rayne and BAMFJOCKS, who do you mean when you say "these people," that I am giving "these people" control of my life? I just want to keep this HIV status to myself. Is that so bad?

Rayne- once again, I appreciate your feedback, but I still don't think you fully get me, or really get what happened today. I woke up totally relaxed. I wasn't stressing. I am starting to live peacefully knowing I have HIV, even though it hasn't been even three weeks yet. I am starting to think about it less and less.

When I informed this dude this morning about my status he went crazy and threatened to out me and my status to everyone. I forgot to mention that he knows where I work, I'm a teacher. If you were a teacher, would you want some kid marching into the administration office to tell them about how they have a teacher in the school with HIV that infected him? Well, luckily his test came back negative, but if it came back positive, who knows what he would have done? Like I said, he has serious issues. There is a lot on the line for me and if anyone is going to tell anybody about my status, it will be me, no one else.

Can you really blame me for getting rattled up about this today? If you were in my shoes, would you not have been too? If this never happened this morning, my day would have been fine. I wasn't going to carry my day on with a constant "waaaaaahhh, I have HIV and I don't know what to do..." No, I'm past that stage. But this kid threw me a curveball I wasn't ready for.

If you want to be discreet then be careful who you let in your life. I'm not judging but if you let people who you can't trust in your life well....

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