Taking the Leap: Fantasy to Reality - what did it take for you?

[novicebottomdude]

I have a fairly vanilla sex life, sort of Top/Vers/Masc... but deep down inside I know I'm little cuntboi bottom.

I have a tough time letting my guard down enough to allow myself to be humiliated like I crave.

Maybe in the back of my mind I think pics will leak out, and I'll end up featured on some bitchboy tumblr.

I always avoided crystal because I figured I would go too far, and just end up a ruined cum whore.

But surely there's something in between.

Subs - what did it take for you to take the leap?

[Paul269]

I am so the same way. I have ventures out and actually been breed once two years ago. I always seem to end back in my guarded world.

[wtfchuck]

A guy I hooked up with was fucking me with a condom, stopped and said he couldn't cum with it, he had me on my back with my legs up with him on top of me, couldn't get him off me when he shoved back in and blew his load in me right away while I yelled for him to stop. After that I was hooked and started taking loads from him all the time, and soon after from many others

[layedback]

I started barebacking in the early 90s when HIV was considered a death sentence. I hadn't given unsafe sex much thought because in my world it simply wasn't done. But I fell in love with a guy, and we moved in together, and one night we became so consumed in passion that he just started fucking me without a rubber. He asked if I trusted him. I did. In retrospect, I was woefully naive, but I was also in lust, and lust generally trumps reason every time. It ended up being one of the hottest fucks of my life. I got so caught up in the sensation of his hot, hard, slippery cock in me, that at that moment, I probably wouldn't have cared about his status. When he began to ejaculate those thick warm ribbons of semen in my guts, I clamped my ass muscles as tight as I could to milk every last drop. It was so fucking incredible. I knew it's what my ass was meant for. From that point on, we fucked bare every time.

A couple of years later, after we broke up, it was time to get back in the saddle so to speak. I knew that I wanted to keep riding bareback. The feeling of a guy's cum in my ass had become addictive. Not only was safe sex no longer interesting, it was in many cases an enormous turn-off. Once again, I let my physical desires overrule my reason. However, I became painfully selective about the guys I'd let fuck me. I didn't want disease, any disease, and figured that if I hedged my bets, I'd be able to have fun and stay clean. And, I did.

In the late 1990s I went back to college for another degree. I didn't have a computer yet, so I had to complete work in a communal lab on campus. One night I went in very late to work. The guy who'd been at the terminal before me didn't log off. I peeked at his history and found a Yahoo group that was something like DFW Chasers. It was dedicated to bug chasers in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. I'd never heard that term before and decided to investigate. Well, the posts I read on that site about guys going out to local saunas and bare fucking any willing stranger turned me on like crazy. Sitting there in the lab surfing this shit, my dick started twitching and was rock-hard in no time.

I bought a personal computer and began to seek out similar sites and stories. One guy I met online sent me something called the Bareback Bible, which was filled with erotic fiction about getting bred by known poz fuckers. I started jerking off to it every day. Pretty soon, I found barebacksex.com and created a profile in my home city. I had totally eroticized bare, bug sex. Of course, I was scared to death. I found my feelings alternately intoxicating and repugnant. So, for a while it remained strictly fantasy.

How did I cross the line? Well, like any addiction, once you've reached the apex of one and can't go any farther, you need something new and better. In good time, just jerking off to fiction, however well written, wasn't enough. I wanted, no...I desperately NEEDED to experience it first-hand. A short time later I had two friends die within a month of one another. Both were unexpected: a suicide and an accident. I really began to think about my own life. I was in my late 30s, existing in a very safe, ordered, comfortable little life, yet not really LIVING. Not feeling and enjoying all of the darker pleasures I secretly desired. And I finally came to the realization that I would be far happier living a shorter life pursuing my desires than to live a long, safe one in which I had to suppress my baser instincts.

I went online and hooked up with a guy who claimed to be negative, but I knew of him from acquaintances, and the word out was that he was poz and had actually knocked up a former boyfriend. I remember driving to his house and thinking a million times that I should just turn around, go home, and and try to stop thinking the thoughts which seemed to possess me. But, I didn't turn around. I kept going. I knew what I wanted, and I couldn't deny any longer that I wanted it more than anything else in the world. My head was spinning when he pushed me down on the bed and started undressing me. I was giddy from anticipation. I almost wanted to laugh I was so consumed with the excitement and the just the risk of letting this guy fuck me, not knowing for sure whether he was poz or not. This was a guy who wasn't even particularly attractive to me. If he'd been one of many in a bar and I was free to pick, he wouldn't have been anywhere near the top of my list. But now, here I was ass up on his bed, offering myself freely to him, feeling his cock slide in me... a cock that might knock me up with a potentially deadly virus, and I didn't care. I was drunk with lust. He fucked me six ways to Sunday, and after what seemed an eternity I was flipped face down, my head scrunched in a pillow while he had the full weight of his body on my back. His hands tightened around my wrists, his arms stretched out over me, making me helpless to stop him. He rocked his hips in a furious motion, grinding his dick into my hole. I could feel his body begin to tense and his cock spasm as he flooded my butt with cum. He lay on top me, grunting, with his cock still inside me . After a couple of minutes he asked if he could piss inside me, and I mumbled something along the lines of "fuck yeah."

I vaguely remember driving home with my ass clenched, trying desperately to keep his piss and sperm from flowing out of me. I wondered if his virus was swimming in my blood stream, growing, multiplying, infecting every cell with the bug of a stranger. It was the most electrifying experience of my entire life. There was no regret, and at that moment no fear. I went for an HiV test three months later, and then again at six months. Both times I trembled waiting for the results. And when they both came back negative, I swore to myself that I'd never do anything like that again.

It didn't take long to break that vow.

[Guest BareSissyEefje]

A 57 year old man with a big dick in 2009, when Iwas living in Maastricht in the southern Netherlands. Had just started having sex with men (lost my anal virginity to a turk in February, while cheating on my then girlfriend) and was leaning a bit more towards bottoming, which is kinda 'contrary' to the way I look, as I'm big, broad and have a 7 inch dick, which is a mega grower, it's basically a large clitoris when soft. Then on a particularly warm June day, I took my first load bareback, and gave my load to the other guy's pussy. I have never used a condom since then. The same week I met a guy on gay.nl called Martijn. He was 57, well hung, and down for barebacking. He turned up at my student room, and we chilled for a while and kissed while undressing. Then the point came when I was totally naked and he only had his boxers on. I went down on my knees and pulled them down and out popped his 8,5 inches. I sucked him for a good long while and while sucking his tasty dick, I felt like I belonged in that position. We then moved to my bed where he ate my pussy and it felt great (was my first time for that) He then rolled over onto his back, I lubed him up and slid his dick into my pussy and slowly rode him to get used to such a large cock. When I was a bit more loose, I went face down, pussy up and what happened after that is what made me realise I love being a man's pussyboi. He fucked me like an absolute animal. I was groaning like a little girl and the noise of his body slamming I to my butt was so loud, people started cheering from the street below. They thought I was fucking a girl with the window open, but it was me who was being broken down and built up again as a total bottom. His shaft went very deep and nearly came out with each stroke. He started to groan and he shot an enormous load into my pussy. I was stunned. I had never felt so good in my life. I stayed there, pussy in the air, glistening with his cum while he got dressed and left my room. He left the door open and my neighbour saw me there in that position. He was a bit stunned that I was a bottom and bi. I knew then that I had no other choice than to accept my full bottomhood. My neighbour also made great use of it on many an occaision when he came home after nights out, he'd come into my room, wake me and fuck me. The first time was borderline rape, but felt great. So not only did I learn that I was a pussyboi in that room that summer, but also that I am a slut for use. That is my story.

[Jakelc]

I had fantasised about bareback sex and breeding but my sex life was quite vanilla from losing my anal virginity to being in my first relationship. My first breeding was with my boyfriend after we had been together for a while. I still fantasised about going further and being a cumslut but until I split with my boyfriend that's as far as I went.

When my first relationship ended I decided to explore my sexuality and took it to the extreme, always barebacking and being bred, trying as many fetishes as possible. I spent just over a year being a cumslut before I met my second boyfriend. After that I spent a long while being in relationships until a few years ago when I decided I was happier being a sub cumslut and wanted to live that way full time.

[Guest FinalDL2021]

fantasies just get stronger and stronger until you have to do something about them. going to sites like BZ and other forums, helps hearing from other guys. Sometimes you find out the fantasy is a big disappointment from others, other times its worth pursuing.

Between the time I started fantasizing about having gay sex for the first time, and actually experiencing it, was roughly 2 years. I met other men in chat rooms, reviewed personal ads until I found one that looked appealing. I then started going as fare as meeting the men for a drink, just to see if I was comfortable with them.

when I finally took the plunge everything just seemed to line up, some Alcohol was involved too.....LOL

[Guest Memphian]

On 3/21/2014 at 3:22 PM, layedback said:

I started barebacking in the early 90s when HIV was considered a death sentence. I hadn't given unsafe sex much thought because in my world it simply wasn't done. But I fell in love with a guy, and we moved in together, and one night we became so consumed in passion that he just started fucking me without a rubber. He asked if I trusted him. I did. In retrospect, I was woefully naive, but I was also in lust, and lust generally trumps reason every time. It ended up being one of the hottest fucks of my life. I got so caught up in the sensation of his hot, hard, slippery cock in me, that at that moment, I probably wouldn't have cared about his status. When he began to ejaculate those thick warm ribbons of semen in my guts, I clamped my ass muscles as tight as I could to milk every last drop. It was so fucking incredible. I knew it's what my ass was meant for. From that point on, we fucked bare every time.

A couple of years later, after we broke up, it was time to get back in the saddle so to speak. I knew that I wanted to keep riding bareback. The feeling of a guy's cum in my ass had become addictive. Not only was safe sex no longer interesting, it was in many cases an enormous turn-off. Once again, I let my physical desires overrule my reason. However, I became painfully selective about the guys I'd let fuck me. I didn't want disease, any disease, and figured that if I hedged my bets, I'd be able to have fun and stay clean. And, I did.

In the late 1990s I went back to college for another degree. I didn't have a computer yet, so I had to complete work in a communal lab on campus. One night I went in very late to work. The guy who'd been at the terminal before me didn't log off. I peeked at his history and found a Yahoo group that was something like DFW Chasers. It was dedicated to bug chasers in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. I'd never heard that term before and decided to investigate. Well, the posts I read on that site about guys going out to local saunas and bare fucking any willing stranger turned me on like crazy. Sitting there in the lab surfing this shit, my dick started twitching and was rock-hard in no time.

I bought a personal computer and began to seek out similar sites and stories. One guy I met online sent me something called the Bareback Bible, which was filled with erotic fiction about getting bred by known poz fuckers. I started jerking off to it every day. Pretty soon, I found barebacksex.com and created a profile in my home city. I had totally eroticized bare, bug sex. Of course, I was scared to death. I found my feelings alternately intoxicating and repugnant. So, for a while it remained strictly fantasy.

How did I cross the line? Well, like any addiction, once you've reached the apex of one and can't go any farther, you need something new and better. In good time, just jerking off to fiction, however well written, wasn't enough. I wanted, no...I desperately NEEDED to experience it first-hand. A short time later I had two friends die within a month of one another. Both were unexpected: a suicide and an accident. I really began to think about my own life. I was in my late 30s, existing in a very safe, ordered, comfortable little life, yet not really LIVING. Not feeling and enjoying all of the darker pleasures I secretly desired. And I finally came to the realization that I would be far happier living a shorter life pursuing my desires than to live a long, safe one in which I had to suppress my baser instincts.

I went online and hooked up with a guy who claimed to be negative, but I knew of him from acquaintances, and the word out was that he was poz and had actually knocked up a former boyfriend. I remember driving to his house and thinking a million times that I should just turn around, go home, and and try to stop thinking the thoughts which seemed to possess me. But, I didn't turn around. I kept going. I knew what I wanted, and I couldn't deny any longer that I wanted it more than anything else in the world. My head was spinning when he pushed me down on the bed and started undressing me. I was giddy from anticipation. I almost wanted to laugh I was so consumed with the excitement and the just the risk of letting this guy fuck me, not knowing for sure whether he was poz or not. This was a guy who wasn't even particularly attractive to me. If he'd been one of many in a bar and I was free to pick, he wouldn't have been anywhere near the top of my list. But now, here I was ass up on his bed, offering myself freely to him, feeling his cock slide in me... a cock that might knock me up with a potentially deadly virus, and I didn't care. I was drunk with lust. He fucked me six ways to Sunday, and after what seemed an eternity I was flipped face down, my head scrunched in a pillow while he had the full weight of his body on my back. His hands tightened around my wrists, his arms stretched out over me, making me helpless to stop him. He rocked his hips in a furious motion, grinding his dick into my hole. I could feel his body begin to tense and his cock spasm as he flooded my butt with cum. He lay on top me, grunting, with his cock still inside me . After a couple of minutes he asked if he could piss inside me, and I mumbled something along the lines of "fuck yeah."

I vaguely remember driving home with my ass clenched, trying desperately to keep his piss and sperm from flowing out of me. I wondered if his virus was swimming in my blood stream, growing, multiplying, infecting every cell with the bug of a stranger. It was the most electrifying experience of my entire life. There was no regret, and at that moment no fear. I went for an HiV test three months later, and then again at six months. Both times I trembled waiting for the results. And when they both came back negative, I swore to myself that I'd never do anything like that again.

It didn't take long to break that vow.

Very well written account of your experience.  I'm not there yet but it really resonates. 

 

 

[Anonversecuck]

I don't wrap it for sex ever. Any sex. With my wife, other women, topping, and sure wouldn't use one while bottoming. Sex is always bare, never an option.  My limited bottoming experience kept that tradition.