Anyone else on PrEP missing the risk?

[seaguy]

To my knowledge HIV Antiviral drugs are not like antibiotics where HIV over time will render some of the drugs useless for the everyone.

[wood]

I know it may not sound logical, but I like the protection PrEP gives me and simultaneously miss the risk. Anyone else feeling the same way?

Nope, cant say I agree. I never practiced bareback sex because I got off on the risk, I do it because it feels so much better, and intimate. Before PrEP, tests every three months were always a a somewhat nerve racking experience. Now they are a non-issue. I will take that anyday over the insane amount of worry I used to get.

[wood]

To my knowledge HIV Antiviral drugs are not like antibiotics where HIV over time will render some of the drugs useless for the everyone.

well its both true and misleading, drug resistant strains of HIV often will eventually mutate back to NOT being reistant to those drugs, but it takes time. bacteria OTOH will almost always stay resistant to those drugs that were misused.

[Guest FinalDL2021]

Since late last year, I have been applying the, on demand, 2-1-1 strategy for using my prep. I feel I get some protection, as will as the thrill, kind of the best of 2 worlds

[drscorpio]

Oddly enough, the times I feel this most is after a bad hookup.  I used to think, "Fuck! You dumbass! Was it worth risking your life for that load from that loser?" Now, it is just wasted time. 

[Oldercumslut]

I think that's why I keep doing anon, hooded, lights out kind of scenes.  I've kept up with daily dosing.  I'm lucky that it doesn't cost me anything.    My brain is still processing that there is some risk.  There are other STD's, and it's not 100% effective.  I think I've said before that bareback receiving is my form of self medication.  I think for me it's just the right amount of risk.

[justsexnowatl]

It's interesting to look back at some older posts that resurface and see how much things have changed over a few years.  I was barebacking excluvely for about 10 years before Prep and was sort of discrete about it - and how I found guys.  I've always been vers, but I almost always ended up topping poz bottoms before Prep (more unihibited for sure) or guys I believed to be TOTAL tops to let fuck me (seemed less risky).  The last year before Prep I was hooking up with more vers guys, flip fucking and letting them breed me and also some couples I was being vers with.  I had only been using the old manhunt site and CL.  I was a total barebacker but semi discrete with my profiles since the majority was still pretty "safe  only"  I hooked up for raw sex with a ton of "safer only" though back then :)  I finally grew the balls in 2014 to join bbrt and within days I realized how many crazy hot poz guys I really wanted to fuck with.  A couple weeks on the site and I went to my first totally raw gangbang on this hot muscle bottom.  I then hooked up with this super hot interracial (both vers and hung) couple off bbrt.  They were already naked and playing when I got to their place.  I got naked and started playing, but it was 2014 and for one of the last times ever I asked their status.  They declined to answer, but they had some magnum condoms over on a bookcase and said we'd use those without answering the question.  I knew we weren't gonna use those and they probably did too.  I never went near them and we all 3 flip fucked and got sloppy wet and I can't remember who bred who, but one of the best sex of my life.

By then I had heard of Prep for a few months and decided I better check it out or I was gonna end up poz FAST since joining bbrt and those ads for cumunion were calling out to me lol.  That test for prep was the last one I was truly pretty nervous and unsure what the results would be (for a few years).  It still took me a little while to really trust that it worked and seriously start letting anyone breed me, but I did feel totally liberated.  It's been pretty hot to watch bb become totally the norm and default for fucking and to watch pretty much every single porn studio convert to bb, but after a couple years on Prep  and ending up joining BZ I pretty quickly realized part of the thrill of barebacking was the risk and being part of the BBBH - a little pervy/edgy etc.  before Prep.  Barebacking and raw sex parties were kind of a "kink".  Going to a bathhouse and finding some hot muscle boy with his ass all loaded up and looking for more was NOT the norm and SO fucking hot to find!!    Now - every hot guy is trying to be the world's biggest cumdump lol.

So when I had the opportunity to join the clinical trial for Descovy a little over 3 years ago I JUMPED at the chance.  A huge part of it was the increased risk knowing I might be on the new drug and didn't know if it really worked.  I could increase my risk and feel like I was doing it in the name of science :)  That was 2017 and I had also got my body in the best shape I've ever been in my life.  I was absolutely having the most sex of my life - I turned into a total bottom for about 6 months.  I changed by bbrt status to "ask me" since I really didn't know and started getting hit up by a wider range of guys - I assume anyone who even looked at status assumed I was poz (I would).  I only found out last fall that I actually was on Descovy the whole time, so I really was a great test subject!!  As time went on in the study and it was obvious descovy was working just as well I seriously started missing the risk again.  I've talked to multiple guys on here (some a lot) about going prep-free, craving the risk etc.  About a year ago I came pretty close to quitting the study to get more risky.  Nothing made me hornier.  My cock would leak out precum and get hard as fuck thinking about quitting.  But I stuck with the study since I made a commitment - and I guess didn't quite have the balls to quit.  

Well, my last appointment in the study is next Wed July 1st.  I will be turning in all my unused pills and officially off prep.  They emailed me a couple weeks ago asking for my pharmacy info to call in a "regular" Rx for Descovy but I haven't replied for a couple of reasons.....not JUST this crazy desire for more risk again!  I don't consider myself a chaser - I'm not actively looking to get pozzed - but realize there's a high chance.  I want the RISK.   I know they kinda go together lol.  I know it's stupid.  Makes no sense, but a LOT of prep guys seem to feel the same way.  The original post from here goes way back to 2014, and I've talked with lots of guys from here and bbrt about being Prep-free, but not necessarily "chasing".  Looking for the risk without the "reward" lol.  I've only had two hookups since COVID and one was just a BJ from this long term kid (no risk), but this other was this massive hung bi black guy nailing me for a full hour and breeding me.  He hit me up again to fuck me again this weekend.....most likely no prep, maybe poz - but seems to be all top, so maybe not.  I didn't ask his status and don't intend to.  But it looks like I'll be prep-free next week and will see what happens with my behavior.  I thought about saving out a handful of pills before I turn them in in case I chicken out and decide to do 2-1-1 or something, but my sex has been infrequent due to COVID, so it's a way to ease into risky sex like the old days.  Fuck I'm drooling precum again :) 

[pigpozdad]

Truvada is going to become generic, so now doctors want to use Descovy??

And who is actually hooking up during this pandemic. Save your money

Edited June 27, 2020 by pigpozdad

[justsexnowatl]

1 hour ago, pigpozdad said:

Truvada is going to become generic, so now doctors want to use Descovy??

And who is actually hooking up during this pandemic. Save your money

Yeah, it's really "coincidental" that descovy approval coincides with new and improved descovy so perfectly.  Even the doctor had an eye roll over that one.  The bone density issue was big to me, and why descovy is preferred, so all the more reason to think about 2-1-1, but I don't think any doctor in the US is going to actually recommend doing that since it's not the approved use.  I've only been fucked/bred once during the whole lockdown, so that's where it seems stupid to spend all that money (even if it's not mine) and take the drug for no reason.  But all of that is more practical stuff regarding pharmaceuticals, insurance, money etc.  Not the original point of post which was skipping the prep all together :)