terminallyCapricious Posted May 6, 2014 Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 I haven't had sex many times (3 since I was 17 and took it up the ass only once) yet I always felt remorse and guilt afterwards. Am I the only one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JizzDumpWI Posted May 6, 2014 Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 You are not the only one... What is your background? Religious upbringing? Family stresses? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terminallyCapricious Posted May 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 My family doesn't know I'm gay, much less that I've had sex - and I don't want them to know as Im very ashamed about it. Shame is what I mostly feel after sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JizzDumpWI Posted May 6, 2014 Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 Makes sense. It is up to you to work out becoming your own self. If you have access to counselors it might be a good time to begin talking through that. Might sound odd, but consider reading "Conversations with God" by Neale Donald Walsh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators drscorpio Posted May 6, 2014 Moderators Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 The shame will pass once you realize and accept how much pleasure and fulfillment sex brings to your life. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacoBri Posted May 6, 2014 Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 Firstly you need to accept yourself as gay man, don't be ashema of it, it's who you are, it's not bad, it's not sin, it's not sickness - it's you, there's many others like you, there's many others with the same problem 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newtin78 Posted May 6, 2014 Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 Maybe you should reach out to your family.? shame is based in fear of what others will think or see in you. I had many reasons why i felt ashamed. My dad cried and didn't speak to me for years. I thought he would murder me instead he took his time to process it... he did however it took him some time. so the worse thing that usually happens is you get shamed or ignored but its better than dealing with the guilt and shame that could be. you are bearing a cross that you don't need to man. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bberik Posted May 6, 2014 Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 I've never felt guilty after having had sex. I used to feel a little guilty the first couple of times I went to saunas and darkrooms, but the more I went the more I wanted. Sex is normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bottombottoy Posted May 6, 2014 Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 never ever felt guilty even after married and doing it on the dl.. always fullfilled and creamed.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wood Posted May 6, 2014 Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 Makes sense. It is up to you to work out becoming your own self. If you have access to counselors it might be a good time to begin talking through that. Bingo, you will work it out in time. Also counseling will help. I used to in a slight way, but it had more to do with risk of HIV. Now with PrEP, I dont feel bad at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VersatileBreeder Posted May 6, 2014 Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 Different people feel guilty for different reasons when they have sex, whether it be being gay, cheating on a partner, religious reasons, etc. It sounds to me like yours is rooted in being gay. It should pass over time. It has many times for me. My first sexual experience was with a friend of mine in my early teenage years. I felt deep shame as I was doing "gay things" with him. That passed. Now I have no shame in any sex with another guy. When I was 16, I had my first sexual experience with a girl. I felt shame because coming from a Catholic upbringing (Catholic school, church on Sundays, etc), I was always told that sex before marriage is wrong, etc. That shame passed over time. Also, when I has my first online hook up with a guy, I felt a lot of shame from that because I thought it was sleazy and dirty. That also passed. The key to getting through this shame is to try not to judge yourself for it, nor let others judge you. If others do judge you, either just ignore them or you can be combative about it (like me) and ask them what sexual things they've done lately and you can judge them back for it and see how they feel. They're probably not worth being your friend if they are judging you. Keep in mind that we all have different sexual needs and what you do sexually is your business and no one else's to judge you for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbtopper Posted May 6, 2014 Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 nope http://i.imgur.com/iTSG2RF.jpg 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pwrfkme06 Posted May 6, 2014 Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 Never feel proud my ass gets men off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FinalDL2021 Posted February 16, 2019 Report Share Posted February 16, 2019 (edited) I don't think that its necessarily guilt, as it is a change in mind-set after I cum. I might be engaged in sex that you might consider risky, such as taking Anon loads. At first I am in total heat over the situation I am in, then after I cum, its like "What the fuck am I doing???" Edited February 16, 2019 by FinalDL2021 phrase change Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallslenderguy Posted February 16, 2019 Report Share Posted February 16, 2019 8 minutes ago, PozTemptation said: I don't think that its necessarily guilt, as it is a change in mind-set after I cum. I might be engaged in sex that you might consider risky, such as taking Anon loads. At first I am in total heat over the situation I am in, then after I cum, its like "What the fuck am I doing???" i get that. Hormones are powerful stuff. The drive for sex, connecting in that way, goes beyond reason. Once the tension/drive is relieved, our reason can kick back in and give us a wtf moment. i've noticed that reason rarely wins against hormones lol. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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