Deleteaccountpls Posted March 3, 2015 Report Share Posted March 3, 2015 I'm in a good bottom constantly slipping up, taking anonymous cock and pushing my own boundaries by going further than I intend in sexual hook ups. Last time I went over to hang out with the host of this upcoming party, a poz man in his 50s, it was all I could do not to suck his cock or let him take mine in his mouth or frot our cocks leaking cocks together… I was such a chicken and instead somehow kept it to jerking off. He was not pleased. He probably never would've played with me again if I hadn't sent him a video of me sucking off a random cock, a promise I would put out this time if he would let me attend his upcoming bareback party. There are poz men going, undetectable and, well, just plain "Positive". There is a "neg+on prep" guy. If I go, this is what he said: Check out the profiles of men who said they are attending; most are Vers Bottoms... who like to suk and get fuked. Most men that go to groups like this expect to get fuked and will want to suk your cock. Come prepared to enjoy everyone- fuk/suk in all positions. --- If I go I am going to be a nigger boy in the Lions den and it's going to be very very hard not to play wrong with men probably have the bug. I'm horny, I want this, and this party is right down the street… There's nothing stopping me from going other than my own nervousness, other than the odds I'll check it out before Friday night. I've described my sex text history and turn on and I'm looking for advice from fellow barebackers - knowing it's going to be biased but at least based on the urge we all share Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspunker Posted March 3, 2015 Report Share Posted March 3, 2015 sucking is virtually risk free, unless you have cuts in your mouth/bleeding gums and a positive load ends up in your mouth. basically no risk if you get sucked. as for the rest, the fact you're asking means you're really not ready for it. group sessions are designed for everyone to get involved, unless there is some reason like filming or similar. the way to answer your question is to imagine you end up getting fucked and become positive as a result. all well and good as fantasy, but sound like you need to reign it in and work out how far you really want to go. might be best to somehow find a guy you can trust to fuck with 1-1, if you think you won't handle becoming poz. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleteaccountpls Posted March 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2015 I guess the question is what other guys here go to an event that they know was gonna push their boundaries where they probably will end up having bareback sex with positive men? Is it okay to go to that kind of party if you know that you're already vulnerable and weak for cock? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNaturalWay Posted March 3, 2015 Report Share Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) Hi nervous barebacker, What is the reason you are nervous? This probably gives you the best clues to come up with your own decision. What would you do if it was a bareback party where you did not know anything about the other guests? Is the knowledge (as opposed to just the odds) that there are poz guys participating truely making you scared or is it also tapping into a forbidden desire? If you had the choice to either eliminate the risk or eliminate your fear, which one would you choose to eliminate? If you choose to eliminate the risk, I think you got 3 options: don't go, or go and limit the sexual acts you get into or go and consider using PrEP... If you choose to eliminate your fear, you could think of chems induced courage or have your host take away the freedom of choice from you... but only do that if your fear is not the fear of becoming poz, but the fear to admit you want it... if your fear to become poz is real, do not temporary eliminate it because in that case you will probably regret it afterwards. In the end it's your choice, your life, your dream cum true and your fear to conquer... nobody else's. Edited March 3, 2015 by TheNaturalWay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleteaccountpls Posted March 4, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2015 I have to say if I go I won't be able to resist risky sex beyond just jerking off - like you guys say, it won't be cool if I go and then refuse to play. I do have bad oral health and a site uncut Dick. Even oral has risks. And there isn't time for prep between now and Friday. I think on the one hand if it was just totally anonymous, I'd be more ok with it. It's the know,eye that is both tapping into my own desire but also making it a tough call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bttm2go Posted March 4, 2015 Report Share Posted March 4, 2015 I would say you are not ready yet. Why don't you look into Prep. This may help you down your path. Once you have hiv, you have it for good. There are plenty more fuck parties in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleteaccountpls Posted March 5, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'm a small town boy and this the first and only bb party in years here. I've spent all week thinking about smoking a lot of pot for courage and heading over anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a6uldeve84u Posted March 5, 2015 Report Share Posted March 5, 2015 Your words: ". . . it's going to be very very hard not to play wrong {my bold emphasis} with men [who] probably have the bug." You have already decided that such playing is "wrong" either for yourself or for anyone. Your own words tell you what and how you feel. Until you can come to terms and accept the possibility if not probability of becoming HIV positive yourself, you might want to refrain from going to this party. Consider also that by your asking others what you should do you may be laying the groundwork for someone to blame should you go, engage in sex with HIV positive men, and end up being HIV positive yourself. I have seen this scenario play out many times. So, buck up, make your own decision either way and if it is to go to the party, have sex there with men but do not blame yourself or any one else. Merely take credit for your decision, get medical attention, and live on. Remember, HIV is no longer a death sentence as it once was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seaguy Posted March 6, 2015 Report Share Posted March 6, 2015 If it is a bareback party showing up and just doing oral is not really participating in the parties main activity barebacking and that could end up ticking off the other attendees so if you're gonna go you better do more than suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotbbbottom4u Posted March 6, 2015 Report Share Posted March 6, 2015 I think you are torn. U want the excitement and thrills that come with anon bb parties but not sure you want the long term consequences. Fair enough. Don't go unless you are willing to become poz. I think at some time we have all sort of wrestled with this. I am a neg bottom. Most of my encounters have been bb. It wasn't until I started going to group sex parties that I just started taking all loads bb. It came down to me loving the scene and just fuckingg bb without worry. Yes, I am prepared to become poz and in fact fully expect it. It is an individual decision that only you can answer. As far as smoking up 420 before you go, don't do it for the sake of masking your fear. The buzz will wear off in the morning and a life altering event will be there for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNaturalWay Posted March 8, 2015 Report Share Posted March 8, 2015 Just checking back with you, because I'm curious what you did after all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MackyJay Posted March 8, 2015 Report Share Posted March 8, 2015 I was wondering what you did also? Hope you went and enjoyed everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleteaccountpls Posted March 12, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2015 Went and took a poz cock up my hole. Couldn't help myself and he talked me into it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MackyJay Posted March 12, 2015 Report Share Posted March 12, 2015 Nice nervous but I bet he didn't have to talk too much. LOL 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleteaccountpls Posted March 12, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2015 He said the right things I guess haha. Blusssssh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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