Impossible To Find (Bare) Tops

[makingwords]

^^^ Come to NYC bb10top. I live for BBC and yours looks especially thick and hot. I want.

[PhoenixGeoff]

1)  Cruising online is generally a waste of time, especially in the city you live in and are known.  Expectations for online hookups are way too high (what I call the Amazon effect, where people expect to place an order for what they want and have it fulfilled by the site), people become critical of others and hope that their perfect guy will sign on in the next five minutes (spoiler:  he ain't going to).  Frankly, I think we were all much better off when we cruised in bars.

 

2) Bottoms always outnumber tops.  Period.  And, for whatever reason, tops in general seem more likely to be attracted to young, hairless, boyish bottoms.  Not sure why that is.  I for one would much rather fuck a big, hairy, manly man any day of the week, but I'm in the minority.  So if you are in your thirties, no matter how hot you are, your potential fucks are going to start dropping off.  Simply the nature of the game.  If you're a total bottom, it's only going to get worse.

 

3) Another observation about tops (especially closeted, bi, or "non-scene" total tops):  in general, they seem to prefer guys with less experience rather than more.  The fact that you've had hundreds of men breed your ass in your day will not turn them on.  Your cum-filled manhole may actually repel them.  Again, I don't get it...I'd much rather fuck a slut with an ass full of cum, but I'm in the minority.  Whether it's fear of HIV or other STDs or simply the same drive that leads most straight men to prefer young, virgin women, the end result is the same.'

 

4) And then, there's the desperation factor.  And this is one I do get.  If you are obviously desperate to get fucked and bred, it's kind of a turn off.  Why?  Well, first of all, I kind of want to feel like I'm attractive and desirable too.  But more importantly, it sends a signal that you don't really think highly of yourself, that you have self esteem problems.  That may or may not be true, but it is how these things do get interpreted sometimes.  Self-confidence is hugely attractive, while the opposite can be a turn off.

 

Incidentally, on this last point, I'm obviously a bit self-contradictory.  I love fucking cum filled bottom sluts, but not the desperate ones.  I guess what I really like is the "Happy Hooker", to use Xaviera Hollander's term.  Attractive, confident, and joyful about sex is what will get me going.

 

So what's my advice?  Here's what's worked for me (and I'm pretty satisfied with my life right now):

• Turn off the computer and the mobile and get out there and meet people.  In real life.  And go out with the expectation of making friends and acquaintences, not getting laid.  Friends may or may not turn into fuckbuds.  On the other hand, friends might just hook you up with his hot stud of a neighbor.
• Start approaching those people you meet with an attitude of "what can I do to please you" rather than "gimme your raw cock and breed my ass!".  Note that you can and should still have boundaries that you won't cross.  But your focus should always be on pleasing your partner.
• Be willing to do whatever it is that will turn him on.  To include fucking him. Focusing on the other guy rather than myself has made a world of difference to my sex life.  It's made me a much better lover.  And when I find another guy who's in the same headspace as me, the sex is fucking blow your mind, outta this world fantastic.
• Continue doing the things that make you feel good about yourself, like eating right, working out, etc.  And do those things because you care about yourself, not in order to become attractive to others.
• In the same vein, if you do drugs, try sex without them.  Though they seem like enhancers, I find drugs tend to amp up guys' unattractive traits.  Invariably, the best sex I've had has been when both I and my partner(s) have been stone cold sober.
• Know what you're attracted to, and be willing to tell guys who approach you for sex that you don't care for "No."  There's a difference between being attracted to a wide variety of men and needing dick from someone, anyone.
• There are men, lots of them, including that hot fucking stud that you know you'd be perfect for, who are just not into you.  It sucks, but there it is.  Accept it and move on.
• Be willing to give quality rather than quantity a try.  Try spending a whole night with a guy one-on-one instead of shooting for multiple quickies.  Hell, take him to breakfast in the morning!  Hell, if the sex was good, why not go for a repeat?

In short, change your outlook, change your expectations, and you'll end up having more fun and more satisfaction.