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The Road To Calvary And Redemption


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PART 1

 

I just don't understand why it happens to me.  Here it is 1985, and I just got dumped for the third time.  I'm 27 years old, stand 6 feet tall, weigh 164 pounds, have good muscles, blue eyes, short brown hair matched with full beard and moustache, soft 7 inch cut dick, and am all-over tan.  I'm a bit quiet which makes me seem snobbish to some but really I'm just shy or reserved as some tell me.  I have an excellent job at which I excel though that may seem to be a bit of a braggart.  I just do not understand what it is that triggers these break ups for me.  But, they have happened, and I will once more pick up the pieces of my shredded heart, keep dry eyed, and keep the pain to myself.  Well, now you know about it; but, that's it for public knowledge.

 

So, now what do I do to pick up the pieces?  I'm really not all that much of a bar patron; that is to say I don't feel compelled to go to any.  I enjoy going occasionally.  I do like travelling and seeing new places and meeting people despite my shyness.  I guess I'm just really dull when it comes down to being involved in life.  But, I need to change all of that; maybe that's the issue I need to confront.

 

A co-worker, Seth, a couple of weeks later was in my office discussing a client's situation.  We finished our approach to take with them and then Seth stayed on to relay how he and his partner had enjoyed a recent trip to Chicago.  He told me all about the museums, parks, lake shore, Navy Pier, Chicago River, Sears Tower, and places to shop for days.  Then, at the end, in an almost conspiratorial whisper, he told me about the two of them visiting a bath house and what all they saw.  I couldn't help but notice how excited his voice had become as well as animated about the trip and especially about their foray at the bath house.  What he began with in hushed but excited tones became flustered non-committal bursts of nonsensical words that told me nothing but gave me every indication that something had happened that he no longer felt comfortable in sharing with me.

 

Well, tell me my interest wasn't piqued.  I sat in my office working the rest of the day but kept returning to Seth's description of his trip.  At the end of the day, I left work as usual but on my way home stopped off at a small library branch and researched Chicago.  I made a list of some interesting places to visit and took the list home with me.  I kept looking at the list during the night and the more I looked the more it sounded like fun.  The only issue was I just couldn't remember what the name of the bath house had been that Seth had mentioned.  My mind kept trying to recall the name; it was on the tip of my tongue.  Ach!  Man's Country.  How could I not remember that name?  Duh!

 

I called my AAA contact the next day and gave a tentative itinerary.  I told Paul that I wanted information for air fare, hotel, and car rental for Chicago and let him go to town to do his magic.  He didn't disappoint me as he called back shortly before I was to leave work.  I got my hotel and air fare confirmed but he suggested that I should ride Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) while in Chicago as it would take me virtually anywhere I would want to go, they were reliable, and I wouldn't have to deal with traffic and parking.  He talked at length from experience and finally convinced me.  I'd ride the train, subway, and busses when in Chicago and learn to like it.  (I actually learned to love it.)

 

My vacation time was approved for Friday and Monday.  I flew to Chicago and with some doing got headed out on the right bus with my new CTA pass to my hotel destination (City Suites).  I arrived at my room finding it a bit dated but still it was clean.  (I had elicited more information from Paul and Seth about where to stay.)  I did up my plumbing job and walked out to find something to eat.  I walked a lot that night having received some help from the desk clerk on where to go.  It was indeed an interesting introduction.  But, I'd had a day of it.  I went back to my room, turned on the television, stripped, crawled into bed, and fell asleep almost immediately.

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As a former Chicagoan, I'm really eager to see where this goes.  Since it's set in 1985, I was happy to see "Sears Tower" rather than that other name.  And the CTA alone can create all sorts of adventures!  Thanks for the memories of my former longtime home.

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PART 2

 

The next morning was spent down in the loop just carousing the area and watching all the people hustle and bustle along.  I grabbed a bite of lunch then hit up the Sears Tower, The Art Institute of Chicago, and The Field Museum.  They were fascinating to say the least and quite busy for a Friday.  Even though I was by myself, I had a very good time.  But, it was getting late, and I needed to get back to my hotel.  I hopped a cab which dropped me in front of my hotel.

 

As soon as I had closed the door to my room, I stripped off everything putting my clothes in an empty drawer.  I pulled out a fresh t-shirt, shorts, and sandals which is all that I would need tonight.  I did a super cleaning job--a bottom should always be prepared--showering when I was finished.  I dressed quickly tucking my bottle of lube in my shorts pocket before I picked out my driver's license and money to head out to see what the mysterious Man's Country would hold in store for me.

 

My CTA trip was uneventful for this time of the night.  I did mess up and went a block past where I was headed but no foul on that.  I was very excited about my adventure.  I registered, got my key and towel, and went through the door when it buzzed. 

 

I found my room closing the door behind me.  My clothes came off quickly and were tucked beneath the mattress.  I put the bottle of lube at the head of the bed, wrapped my towel around my waist, put my key on my arm, and went out to investigate.  From top to bottom, I slowly walked around seeing all kinds of men of every description.  I could see why Seth and his partner had enjoyed the place:  It was a veritable smorgasbord of men.  I found some men titillating as they were wearing all kinds of leather.

 

The place was so new to me that my tour lasted four complete rounds on each level.  I began to nod my head at a few men who smiled or winked at me.  There were some hands that patted my ass and some very crude men who brazenly and openly grabbed my dick as I passed by.  Well, there has to be a line drawn somewhere.

 

On my last go round, I began to watch and pay attention to what was going on.  I saw the approaches men made to others either in the hallway or in rooms.  I discreetly observed the protocol of cruising making mental notes.  As I returned to my room and unlocked the door, I was shaking a little at the prospect of being in the bath house but now had to put into practice what I had observed.  I took several deep breaths to calm myself, dimmed the light in my room, lubed my ass, and had a condom ready.  I opened my door wide, then, lay down on my bed face down after removing my towel and tucked it under me for a pillow.

 

My mind was racing and jumbled in thoughts.  I lay there for what I thought was hours but couldn't have been but for a few minutes.  I had been listening to the men quietly walking past my room and had noticed a slight shadow that played on the wall as men passed by.  Then, the room seem to darken.  I didn't move but felt a presence.

 

I waited quite still and finally a hand rubbed over my leg.  The hand moved up my leg until it reached my buttocks where two hands grasped both and squeezed gently before moving on to my torso where they rubbed me gently.  The hands were removed and seconds later I heard the door click closed as the last of the light from the hall was shut out.

 

"You want your ass eaten and fucked?" I heard from behind me.

 

"Yes," I replied.

 

"Put your waist on the edge of the bed, flex your legs, and lay across the bed," I heard.

 

I moved to do as he said noticing a very thin haggard looking man in my room.  He stood over 6 feet tall but was so thin and pale.  When I was positioned, he knelt down and began rimming me like a pro.  I was reduced to overheated butter.  In a matter of a few minutes, I was moaning from the super pleasure he was giving me.  His tongue was unbelievable.  He then began chewing on my hole which sent shock waves through me along with shivers.  More and more he roused my sexual appetite until I could almost stand no more.

 

His mouth came off my hole, and I heard him rising.  I turned to my left and reached over picking up the condom I had and moved my arm behind me toward him.  "I got my own but need some lube," I heard.  I dropped the condom and reached for the lube handing that to him.  He took it.  I heard the packet being ripped open and shortly felt his finger pushing into my hole.  My eyes rolled upward as he applied lube liberally inside and out.

 

He continued to finger my hole going deeper and deeper.  When he could get no further inside me, he began dragging his bent finger out which made me wince a couple of times.  He repeated the same thing only turned his finger on its side to withdraw.  All around inside my ass my unknown visitor fingered me for several minutes.  It did feel good but I was getting impatient for more.  What I could do without was the short sharp pains I felt occasionally.  What came next was the best of all though.

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PART 3

 

My visitor withdrew his finger and using one hand pulled my left butt outward.  I felt a condom-covered dick at my opening, and it began applying pressure.  My puckered hole resisted despite my trying to relax but did give way allowing the head of his dick to pop inside me.  I gasped aloud at how spread my sphincter had become.  This man had a big dick without a doubt.  Two hands now spread my cheeks apart as more and more of his thick dick slid inside me.  I was moaning and whimpering at the pain but refused to give up.  He ignored me and continued to slide deeper and deeper inside me until at last I felt his bushy pubic region pressing into my cheeks that he now released.

 

"Oh, yeah, man.  That's fucking awesome," he said with excitement in his voice.  I was proud of myself for not protesting any more than I had.  "Damn, your ass is like a furnace, man.  I mean it's like my dick is being roasted.  We're going to have a helluva ride, man."  And, with that, he began a slow retreat leaving me feeling empty.  He slid out of my ass all the way but kept his dick positioned at my hole.  He waited microseconds and began again to enter my ass that was more willing and had less pain.

 

Four more times my visitor retreated and returned inside me with each time becoming more exciting and desirable by me.  There was no more pain just the thrill and physical desire if not demand that I needed to feel him fucking me in long strokes with his big dick.  To give him more of a hint other than my moans of desire, I began to tighten my sphincter on his way out of me and pushed my hands against the wall pushing me back onto his invading leviathan which now I had to have pounding me.  He understood my contribution and began pumping his dick in and out of my ass in a slow but ever increasing speed that sent him almost to complete withdrawal and then direct deep inside me slapping his pelvis onto my butt cheeks.

 

His hands on my hips held me firmly as his big dick began to pick up speed in his thrusts and reversals.  After a couple of minutes, I was being jarred strongly as he slammed into my ass seemingly to me hitting a new place inside of me with each thrust.  Air was coming in short gasps for me as I heard his own breathing rapidly increase with the increased speed of his fucking.  He was now in sexual overdrive as his dick moved like a piston in my ass sending my nerve endings into matching overdrive for this beautiful fuck I was getting.

 

"OH!  FUCK!  JESUS . . . MARY . . . AND . . . JOSEPH!  DAMN!" I heard from behind me as he slammed his now swollen dick as deep into my ass as he could get it.  His hands gripped my hips as if they were pneumatic pincers.  Then, I felt a huge lump move through his dick spreading my sphincter a bit larger as the lump moved down his dick and finally out of it into the reserve of the condom.  A second, third, and fourth large lump followed shortly after and then smaller lumps until there were no more.

 

I was now trembling with excitement at having a fabulous fuck my first time at a bath house.  My visitor visibly shook as he stood behind me still with his dick inserted in my ass.  His breathing became more steady as did mine.  We both were satisfied with what we had done and now relished in the afterglow of the awesome sex we had just experienced.

 

His now deflating dick began to reverse itself and slide out of me for the last time.  As he slowly pulled the head of his dick out of my hole, I felt a trickle of liquid run down onto my balls.  He stepped backwards allowing me to slowly rise up off the bed.  I turned and looked at his dick and fell immediately in lust with it.  It was cut and had to be at least nine inches or more.  He reached down rolling the condom off keeping it in his hand.

 

"That, man, was a helluva ride.  I've not ridden a talented ass like that in a long time," he said.

 

"I'm here in Chicago until I leave Monday afternoon.  I know I would really enjoy another fuck from you.  I'm staying at City Suites and will be here every night.  Especially if there are men like you who can fuck like you do," I said.  "You have no idea how turned on I am right now.  You are a super fucker."  I looked at him closer, and his thinness was very apparent.  I also noted a couple of port wine blemishes on his torso.  How sexy they made him look.

 

We stood looking at each other until he said, "You got yourself another fuck for sure, man.  In fact, if you like to be fucked by the likes of men like me, I might be able to convince a few friends of mine to give you a fuck."

 

I was stunned.  The man was going to hunt up super fucks like he just gave me.  What did I have to lose?  My virginity?  I laughed inside.  "Deal," I said.  "Do you have some paper and a pen?  I'll give you my name and room number."

 

"I'll get some," he said wrapping his towel around his skinny waist.  "Be right back."  Out the door he went closing it behind him.  I sat there hoping indeed he would return which he did.  I wrote my name, City Suites, and room number on the paper and returned the paper and pen.  We hugged, winked at each other, and he left.  I closed the door.

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DONT YOU WANT AIDS MOTHER FUCKER????????????????????????????????????? DONT YOU WANT IT MAN??????????????? RELEASE????????????? YOU NEED IDS YEAH MAN????????????????????????? AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL HAIL AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL HAIL AND BOW TO HOGAR DARK LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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Guest BBBeard

Really beautiful written story. It remembers me of my first time going to a bathhouse (sauna) in 1981. I was eager to go to a gay-sauna, but mostly so curious, did not know what to expect. The nice guy at the desk gave me trust to go on. Strange enough i felt cold as I undressed and wrapped the towel. I was normal build (1.80), but thought that all guys were bigger than me. This sauna had 3 floors and I walked around. Then i had glasses and from the beginning of my way to the sauna, i doubted glasses/no glasses. I could see without glasses. And afcourse I did not see one guy with glasses. So i brought my glasses back to my cabin. 

 

Feeling warmer i walked around again. Some guys said hello, but that was it. And i felt suddenly a hand going to my cock. Thank you, i said- i did not want that. Then 4 passes on a guy came to me. Then i saw a guy with glasses (where was my focus?) I walked to the 2nd floor, there was more going on when i walked there the first time. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

 

We started to kiss. It felt so good. He was a bit hairy like me. Come with me, he said. And in his cabin i saw a rather big dick.  We kissed on, licked, kissing. 

Don't be nervous, it is alright. More licking and kissing and i started to suck his cock. Very good, he said, very good!

 

May i feel your ass, he asked. I turned around. I knew i had a tight ass. His finger went in. I felt the pain and liked it.

Also he had a condom. He licked me ass, slapt me a bit. I like this, he said, don't worry, relax, relax. Probably i did, because i felt a cock with condom coming in me. Then i felt relaxed and warm.

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PART 4

 

I settled down a bit, finally wrapped my towel around my waist, opened the door, and went for a walk again.  I noticed that there were several men standing in the hall outside my room.  I nodded and smiled to them as I left.  I roamed the building again ending up in the basement where I went into the steam room.  It was huge and had a number of men in it already.

 

I moved carefully through the hot mist until I found myself at the back of the room.  I stood by myself and looked around.  Several men looked hot to me.  Then, out of the steam came a man a little shorter than me.  I had to look closer and thought he was a few years older.  I had caught his eye I could tell by the way he kept cruising me.  When there was room, he sat on the bench and began slowly playing with himself.  He had a nice cut dick of about 7 inches.

 

He did so for a couple of minutes as my own dick began to rise.  He motioned for me to come over.  He nodded his head toward his now growing dick.  I sucked in the moist air, looked around, and calmly walked over to him.  As I approached, he stood up stepped up on the bench.  I reached up grasping his balls, looked him in the eyes, he smiled at me, and I bent over putting his dick into my mouth where I began feasting on it.

 

His dick after a few mouth strokes was fully erect by then.  He gently held my head and stroked my head as I paid homage to his dick.  It tasted so good.  He began to moan his approval of my technique as I applied all my skills to sucking his dick.  I rolled his balls around in his sac as I used my mouth to lead his dick to a final destination of spitting a load of his cum into my mouth to savour.  We spent several minutes sharing each other and moved toward a finale.

 

We had been engaged in a blow job for about five minutes when I found my ass being played with.  I quickly pulled off his dick and turned around sharply to confront whoever it was trying to horn in.

 

"No, no, my friend.  It's okay.  It's my other half; my partner.  We share men.  I hope you don't mind," the man on the bench said hastily.

 

I looked at the man on the bench and then at his partner.  What the hell.  I smiled and said, "Sorry.  I didn't know."  I turned myself back to my dick waiting for me and once more slid it into my mouth where I began sucking once more.  My butt felt two hands spreading them open and once more a wild and wonderful tongue began to rim me.  I moaned.

 

"Charlie's been here," I heard him say as I sucked more on the dick in front of me.  "You up for another load?"  I thought nothing of the phrasing and without taking my mouth off the dick in front of me I gave consent.

 

I heard a cough to my left but couldn't see who it was.  The partner was rubbing his finger all around and in my ass while I continued to bob up and down on the standing partner's dick.  I was determined to get him to shoot his load.  I felt pressure at my hole again and adjusted myself for a better position to suck while being fucked.  The partner didn't do a good job of lubing up as his dick caught a couple of times from the lack of lube.  But, he finally got inside me.  It felt nice.  And, then, the fucking began.

 

This dick wasn't as big as my first visitor but it was nice.  He wasted no time in reaching a higher speed of fucking.  He gripped my hips as he pounded me good and steady.  I thought back to my home and where I had been dumped for the third time.  Those guys didn't know anything.  None of them had fucked me like these two men had.  My ass was singing with joy at how it felt from these two men.  These were men and they knew how to fuck.  I re-focused on the cock I was sucking and increased my effort.

 

"DAMN!" I heard behind me as the partner slammed into my ass holding himself.  I knew he was in the throes of shooting his load into his condom, but I continued on sucking as the partner finished his own cum load.  "Fuck that was hot!  You ready?  I'm outta him."  With that, he unceremoniously pulled his dick out of my ass stepping away.

 

The man on the bench grabbed my head and pulled me off his dick.  He dropped onto the floor moving behind me saying, "You don't mind, do you?"  I didn't get a chance to respond as he bent me over turning me toward his partner who shoved his dick in my mouth where I began sucking him.  The partner behind me was fumbling with his condom and finally slid in my ass sighing as he did so.  He revved up to full speed in no time pounding my ass for all he was worth.  In no time, his dick was shoved deep inside me and he was gasping for air as he shot his load of cum.

 

The two of us finished--him shooting his load of cum and me cleaning his partner's cock--at the same time.  We three hugged and kissed.  The two of them wandered off as I stayed a bit longer but finally decided it was too hot and went back to my room.

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To each of you who have indicated that you liked a posting of mine, I just found out that if I write a note to someone and delete that copy on my end the copy sent also disappears.  If I am in error on this, I would appreciate being corrected.

 

When someone takes the time to write to me or to indicate that they like something that I have posted, I always respond. It is courteous to do so for my part.  So, if you have not received a response from me for either a message or a "like" that you made, do understand that I did respond but inadvertently deleted my message of gratitude to you.  It may take me a few days as I do not always log onto this site daily, but I will respond.

 

So, I have this now off my mind and return in my next post the following part of this tale.

 

Bill


PART 5

 

I cooled down on my walk back to my room.  I must have had a look of divine decadence on my face as it seemed a number of men were smiling at me as others looked away quickly.  All I knew was I was having fun.  I rounded a corner and several men were standing around in my hallway.  I worked my way through them, opened my door, went inside, and closed it.  I indeed was happy.  I calmed myself and decided to go for another quick walk.  Out the door I went.

 

On my way back to my room, I noticed it was close to 1:30.  I still  had about four and a half hours more fun time left.  I was glancing around and realized that there were no other men in sight which I thought very odd.  Then, I rounded a corner not looking where I was headed and ran into what felt like a reinforced concrete wall.

 

I found I had walked into a tall black man.  He had to be six and a half feet tall and built with muscles all over.  When I had run into him, his arms wrapped around me keeping me from bouncing off him and hitting the floor.  He was well over two hundred pounds and indeed as I inspected him so closely most definitely black in colour.  There was a beautiful sheen to him.  The last of my realizations was that he was wearing a lot of leather clothes:  cap, harness, chaps, arm bands, jock, and boots.

 

"Not so fast, white boy," he almost whispered in my ear with a deep basso voice that instantly mesmerized me.  "You don't need to run away from me.  Or were you running to me?"  He grinned revealing beautiful white teeth that so contrasted with his dark skin.  His voice and his eyes were transfixed on mine holding me in rapt attention to him.  I didn't move.  "You've been a busy boy tonight I hear," he continued with his soothing and intoxicating whisper of a voice.  "Three whities that don't know how to treat a boy like you.  What you need, white boy, is a real man that can knock you off your feet.  Show you what to do so you can appreciate a real man . . . a real man like me.  Would you like that white boy?  Would you want me to show you?" he hypnotically said to me as I lost all sense of time and place.

 

His words kept echoing in my brain and swirling around inside me as I breathed in deeply his smell.  I moved my head closer to him and inhaled his aroma.  It was earth shattering to me.  It was like no other aroma that I had ever experienced.  My eyelids sagged a little as I shook my head yes.

 

He held onto me taking a couple of steps backward turning as he did.  He lifted me up off the floor and walked us into a room using a foot to close the door behind us.  He set me down on the floor but kept his arms around me.  We had not lost eye contact since I had run into him.  He slowly bent his face down to mine and gently pressed his lips to mine.  I let him kiss me and as we were kissing I felt a huge uplifting awakening within me and slowly began to kiss back.  We continued until he finally parted his lips and probed my lips for an opening.  I accepted his invitation and parted my own lips allowing his massive and commanding tongue to insert itself into my mouth where I lavished it with attention.  This was a man I had to know.

 

A part of my brain was screaming to get away but the other part rejected the idea to flee.  This was a first for me:  kissing a black man.  I had never given it any thought but now confronted with the reality of kissing a black man overwhelmed my senses.  Kissing this black man felt so right as if I had been born for such.  As my emotions kicked in and my heart began to palpitate from excitement, a deep seated hunger longing to be fed overcame me.  My defences were rendered neutral as all the heartache from my three failed relationships fled from me.

 

The massive arms that were wrapped around me released me as the tongue which I had been worshiping was withdrawn from my mouth.  The fabulous smile appeared on his face again as he took hold of my left knee raising it and moving it before setting my bare foot down on the edge of the bed.  He wrapped his left arm around my shoulder spreading his fingers wide on my back as his right hand dipped down and went through my parted thighs where his middle finger found my puckered hole.  He balanced me as he stuffed his middle finger in my ass causing my eyes to roll upwards as I let out a moan of complete submission.  Several minutes passed as this giant black man fingered my hole sending me into a euphoric state.

 

I heard his rich hypnotically inviting basso voice gently command me to sit and relax.  He released me from his left arm moving with me as I cautiously set my foot on the floor and sat down with his big middle finger still inserted in my ass.  My eyes fluttered as my breathing came heavier.  My head began to spin as I moaned gently my contentedness.  His mighty finger began working itself inside my ass making me to lie backwards across the bed lifting my feet to rest on the edge.  Frequent sharp signals of slight pain were felt as he still managed to massage my insides.

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PART 6

 

Without warning and causing me to jolt upright, I felt his mouth encompass my hard dick pushing his nose into my hairy crotch.  A sharp gasp escaped my lips as he began to suck me full length.  His tongue was all over my dick massaging and licking wildly as his head bobbed up and down.  Then, his finger began to massage gently my prostate causing another sharp gasp to escape.  I whimpered in earnest at the feeling I was having but he was not to be stopped.  On and on he scraped his finger along my prostate and alternated that with tapping it sharply.  I could tell that my dick was oozing precum in great quantity.  More and more he directed me like a maestro of an orchestra with his mouth and finger until at long last I no longer could resist.

 

I flooded his mouth with a huge load of cum the likes of which I had never known I could produce.  More and more of my cum flooded into his mouth as his finger stroked my prostate harder.  Wilder moans and thrashing movements were all I could muster as a billion billion stars came into view.  Many minutes passed as my body shook and trembled as my cum load began to taper off finally ending leaving me so absolutely drained of energy.  I felt so wet from the sweat that had poured out of my body.  Sagging down at long last, I felt his mouth moving upwards and off my dick.

 

He gently pulled his finger from my hole and moved closer to my face again.  I tilted my head and opened my mouth as his lips met mine as he once more thrust his thick commanding tongue deep into my mouth.  I felt a large wetness filling me causing my eyes to widen quickly.  I tried pulling away but he was too strong, and he began a low rumbling of approval of what he was doing with me.  I acquiesced and in short time became hungry for more of the taste he was giving me.  The realization that he had just transferred the cum I had shot from his mouth into mine now spurred me on so I wrapped my arms about his mighty girthy neck.  My first snowball was with this man.

 

"It's about you, too," he purred.  "It should be about you, too, don't you agree?  I've always thought you white boys should be taken care of as well.  A man can catch more flies with honey than he can with vinegar don't you think?"

 

I was too dumbstruck to answer so I shook my head in agreement.

 

"That's good, white boy.  You're learning already.  I can see that.  Your fear of me is unfounded.  You're an unlearned white boy right now.  Let's see if you can earn your way to being my white boy.  Would you like that?  Would you like to be my white boy for the night and have fun?  Would you like to look out of those beautiful blue eyes and see me having fun with you?" he asked in a deep low rumbling faint whisper in my ear then licked my ear sending shivers throughout my entire body.  "You have to tell me though that's what you want, white boy.  You have to say 'I want to be your white boy for tonight, Daddy, and will do whatever you tell me to do.'  Once you tell me, we'll begin."

 

Abruptly, he disentangled himself from me and stood up reaching his full height that seemed so far above me.  I felt lost and abandoned at his sudden change.  Rejected.  I panicked at being left behind.  "Or, you can leave now," he said deadpan.  He stared down at me all of the wonderful feelings I had had smashed.

 

My mind raced through what had transpired outside the room and now inside.  His words beckoned me as I sought to recall the looks he had given me just minutes ago.  From somewhere inside deep came a voice to me telling me I'd be a fool to leave.  Here is where I belonged.  Here is where I would experience and learn something that would never be available to me again.  I trembled but became resolute and stood up facing him.

 

"I want to be your white boy for tonight . . . uh . . . uh . . . Daddy.  I'll do whatever you tell me to do," I heard myself vowing as my voice became more assured of myself in my commitment to my words.  I stood up straight not in defiance but in dedication to him.  As I looked into his eyes, I repeated my words slowly to remove all doubt in his mind as to my allegiance to my oath, "I want to be your white boy for tonight, Daddy, and will do whatever you tell me to do."

 

Our eyes held steady as he contemplated me.  His smile broadened, and he stepped to me wrapping his wonderful big arms around me once more.  "What you have done tonight before we met is unimportant.  What matters begins now.  Word travels fast through colonies like this.  You are here now, though, and you will learn what it means to be a white boy for a big black man like me.  You know you need that.  You have an aura that proclaims that.  And, you will shine as an example of white boys should be."  His voice had returned once more to the soothing hypnotic purr it had once been.  I melted in his embrace.

 

"I don't know exactly what you mean but will accept your teaching me," I said with absolute conviction on my part.  And, surprising myself, I meant it.

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