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Chaser - My Path


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  • 3 weeks later...

Hey y'all

We are getting to the short film Chiaser now.  I've been pretty intimidated as we get closer to it, as you can probably tell, since the chapters have taken longer.  I've sketched the story arc until the end.  I'm hoping to have it done by the end of next week.  I'm glad so many of you like it.    

I think the film is pretty amazing.  I relate to it.  I'm trying pretty hard to get to the emotion behind Zach's eye's while he's on the bed during the sex party.  

i hope you enjoy the next few chapters.

 

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each chapter makes me like this series more. This story has my full attention. You have written it well, developed the characters, brought some back, and each chapter has a slight twist. You really captured that struggle between a personal decision to bareback and the society imposed condom use. I am awaiting your next chapter.  I hope Zach finds his bareback tribe where he is accepted among like-minded men and truly starts to enjoy his adventures. 

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I was utterly humiliated.

As the love of my life left, all I could do was cry.  I cried and cried and cried.  I was in New Orleans, in our apartment, and no Connor.  No. Connor.  I didn't eat, return phone calls, or see friends.  I think I made myself physically ill because after a few days I could barely move from my bed.  All my muscles hurt and my stomach was heaving even though I hasn't eaten for days.

My friend John eventually forced me to open the front door and let him in the apartment.  He asked no questions, but made me some soup and forced me to eat it.  We sat on the couch and watched a movie.  I was really glad John was there because Connor called.  He was entirely businesslike on the voicemail message he left.  He was coming through with his father and asked me to not be in the apartment as they cleared out his items next week.  He also said, he'd leave me a check for my half of the NYC apartment deposit.  He told me to find my own place in NYC.  After listening to Connor's voicemail, I threw up the soup John made and went back to bed crying.  I heard John pleading with me to come out of the bedroom, but I passed out.  When I woke up, John was on the couch.  He stayed with me all week.  He made me call my aunt and uncle so I could ask to stay with them until I could get an apartment.  He also forced me to call my father to ask for help moving my things to NYC.  The second call was so humiliating that I went back to bed for two days.  

Connor and his father were due the next day and he called to make sure I would not be at the apartment.  I packed a bag and went to stay with Bradley for the night.  Bradley, John and I went to dinner.  We ran into Rob and my neighbor who asked about the moving truck and why I wasn't there moving out with Connor.  Bradley said Connor and I had broken up.  I excused myself for the bathroom and cried.  When I emerged from the bathroom, Rob, Bradley and John were waiting.  My neighbor went out to get snacks and rent movies.  We all went to Bradley's house to watch movies and hang out.  Rob hugged me tight against him in the car.  At Bradley's house, I sat between my neighbor and Rob on the couch as we watched movies.  We finished one movie and John left.  In the middle of the second movie, Bradley got a call from his parents and went to his room.  He came back a few minutes later and said he was going to shower and go to bed.  He asked me to make sure I locked the door when our guests left.  

Rob asked if I wanted to go to bed or finish the movie.  I said I wasn't tired.  My neighbor moved to the chair where Bradley had been seated leaving the couch to Rob and I.  Rob and I spooned on the couch.  He asked if I was still the "most perfect Jewish bottom boy in the world."  I laughed.  It was the first time I laughed in weeks.  I could feel his hard cock on my ass through our clothes.  I reached back and felt his cock.  He had a great cock.  I rubbed it.

We heard the shower turn off, the bathroom door open, and Bradley's bedroom door close.  Rob kissed my neck.  He unbuttoned and unzipped my shorts.  I was wearing a jockstrap.  Rob reached inside my shorts and felt my ass.  Rob told me to stand up and he sat up.  I took off my shirt and shorts.  He opened his shorts and I got on my knees and sucked his cock for a few minutes.  Rob took a couple of bottles out of his short's pocket - lube and poppers.  He had me lube his cock and then turn around.  He put his lubed cock on my ass and had me sniff the poppers.  I inhaled deeply and sat down on his bare cock.  I rode his cock until he flipped me over the back of the couch and started hammering my ass.  Rob blew his poz load in me and then pulled out.  My neighbor then fucked me until he came in my ass.  Then Rob fucked another poz load into me.  They left.  I put my shorts back on and fell asleep on Bradley's couch as their loads leaked from my ass.

The next day I went to my apartment and Connor's things were gone.  I cried as I read the note he left with the check telling me to keep the bed because he couldn't bring himself to sleep on it anymore.  

I called Rob and asked him to come over and fuck me in the bed.  Rob fucked me all week in the bed.  I took about 20 poz loads off him that week.  Then I asked Rob if he wanted the bed when I moved because I had no place to put it in NYC.  He took the bed in his SUV the same day my father and brother arrived to move me to NYC.  John, Bradley, and Seth took a lot of the other furniture and kitchen supplies.  I moved my clothes, some personal items, computer and television to NYC.  

The ride home took about a day because we all shared the driving.  It was a quiet ride and my humiliation was enhanced all the more when my brother asked about Connor only to have my father say, "Gay relationships aren't like normal relationships.  They always fall apart."  My brother told my father that was stupid and they fought for a few minutes.  I just looked out the window.  

I arrived in NYC and moved into my aunt and uncle's spare room.  My aunt kindly asked about Connor, but quickly realized it was a very emotional topic when I tried to answer but couldn't find the words.  As a teacher in NYC public schools, I was soon working after I got to the city because I had to get my classroom ready, department meetings, meet the principal, vise principal, fill out paperwork, etc.

Surprisingly, a friend from high school - Rachel - was teaching across the hall from me.  We connected and she insisted that I spend time going out with her and her friends.  Over the next few months, I gradually came out of my depression.  

By the time classes ended the following spring, I was living with her in a two bedroom unit in Brooklyn.  

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Heartbreaking - and hot - at the same time. Seth's responses to Connor leaving him are so sad and so genuine. Chilling but altogether believable that even the threat of losing the love of his life wasn't enough to make him forego being what he is - a slut. Now his fate is sealed. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

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It'd been almost a year since Rob and I fucked in the bed I once shared with Connor.  Almost a year with no sex.  I was in a rut.  I couldn't bring myself to start having sex again without Connor.  Sex and love had become so intertwined in my brain that it was hard to disconnect. Part of me felt unlovable.  Without the love, sex became hard to imagine.  I freely admitted to myself that having sex with all those other guys didn't involve love; but the constant for those years was Connor's love.  Even when we were having sex with other people, Connor's love was a surety - a known lasting quality.  I didn't have to be afraid of not being loved then because he loved me.  And now there was no love - not love like his.  Not reassuring companion love that a person receives from their partner.  

That love was denied to me.  And for a year, I denied myself the sex that had become entwined with it.  

One night, Rachel and her sister Sara and I were all hanging out watching a movie on our couch.  We watched "Kids."  I remember John, my college bottom friend, being obsessed with the movie.  It's why he said he was such a safe sex practitioner.  During the film, the female lead finds out she is HIV positive and spends the rest of the day trying to find the guy who infected her.  The guy, Telly, likes fucking virgins and spends his day trying to seduce a virgin.  In the end, Telly seduces the new target before the female protagonist can find him.  Watching the movie, I realized that I hadn't actually been tested since Rob fucked me and the Berlin bathhouse.  I'm not sure how I didn't get tested prior to working in the NYC public schools; but somehow I hadn't.  

I went to the clinic and was tested.  Negative.  I got counseled about safe sex and was handed a safety bag - condoms, lube, a female condom, etc.

The test was my turning point to getting laid again.  I started working out.  I'd gotten a little flabby, but since I still ran regularly I was still thin.  I didn't have the worked out body I had during my senior year.  And I wanted it back.  It was summer in NYC and I kicked up my running and also joined a gym.  Sara's roommate was a part time trainer; but he wanted to be an actor - Marty.  Marty and I worked out 3-4 times a week.  He and I got fairly close.  He also happened to be into movies and theater.  We saw all the gay movies and a lot of shows.  Over the next few months as I bulked up and as classes began again in the fall, we saw Angels in America and Rent.  We also saw Boys in the Band, Jeffery, Longtime Companion, Philadelphia, In the Gloaming, It's My Party, And the Band Played On, Cruising, Maurice, Torch Song Trilogy, Taxi Zum Klo, etc. etc. 

You see the underlying plot theme - dangerous and anonymous sex leads to HIV/AIDS and death.  Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!  So scary.  Also, the best guys make good decisions and play safe.  

Well, that message sank the fuck right in.  Use condoms.  Be safe.  You will be a "good guy" and meet a "good guy" and you will have love again.  Alright, it's totally fucked up, but it was 2004-5 and what the fuck was I supposed to know.  People were living, but it's NYC and it's not like there were many older gays to talk to about it.  Besides, I did not want to admit to myself how much I liked getting cum shot in my ass.  Much less admit that to other guys.  

Marty finally dragged me to a club around Christmas break.  We had been to a Christmas party that night in Manhattan and Marty wanted to go out.  He said I looked amazing and had nothing to worry about.  We did two shots at the party, grabbed our coats and left.  Marty took me to Metropolitan in Brooklyn.  It was fun  being in a bar again.  Marty, of course, left me at the bar to go mingle.  I noticed something I hadn't felt in a long time.  Men watching me, checking me out.  It was like I was the center of attention.  I froze and blushed all at once and turned to order a drink.  

The bartender was nice and kept the cold beer filled most of the night while he chatted me up.  There were some lesbians at the bar next to me and the bartender, ladies and I all got chatting.  It enabled me to avoid all the guys watching me.  But it also got the bartender's attention.  Marty came back over and said, "Damn girl!  I can't even get a drink because the bartender is all over you."  I tried to object, but the bartender said "It's true.  I am."  And then took Marty's order.  

Three hours and ten beers later, the bartender's condom covered cock was buried deep in my ass.  He fucked me senseless.  It was my first fuck in over a year.  By the third time we fucked that night, I was riding him.  I was back in the groove and loving it.  He came in my ass that time, in the condom, and I actually told him to "Cum in me."  It's the first time I said those words since the last time with Rob; prior to the move to NYC.  The bartender and I exchanged numbers, but he never called me back.

I was a bit sad that I hadn't heard from the bartender, but I was in the groove again.  I signed up on adam4adam and manhunt.  I took naughty pics and sent them to guys.  I also started going to the bars more.  

Guys were interested.  I was really getting a lot of interest.  It was all just sex.  Good sex, bad sex; but it was sex.  Meeting guys online and meeting guys in person required different techniques.  Online was all about the pics - there's and mine.  For the first few months I was online; I was very selective - only the best looking guys and they had to be negative and had to be tops or versatile.  I started to relax the "hotness rule" some if guys had a big dick or were a bit older and looked hot.  I still tried to keep my online hookups to a minimum, preferring to meet guys at bars and parties.  I didn't want to get a reputation that would lead me to not be able to get a boyfriend.  The easiest guys never have a boyfriend; at least in my mind. 

In person hookups, the guys I met at bars and parties, I only hooked up with "socially acceptable" levels of "hot guys."  I didn't want people thinking was had low standards or low self-esteem.  Sometimes that ruined my night.  But, most of those "bad" nights I could go home, get online, and have my ass stuffed with a cock in about 45 minutes to an hour later.

I was hooking up all the time again.  It felt great.  

Over the next year, I had sex with over 200 guys.  Sure, sometimes the condom broke and I loved those times, but other than those times I only practiced safe sex.

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New Years 2006

I was teaching high school and enjoying myself in my free time.  I was having a lot of sex.  Rachel didn't love the amount of sex I was having because she didn't feel safe having "so many" strange men in the apartment.  Rachel and Sara swapped apartments and roommates.  Sara moved in with me and Rachel moved in with Marty and another actor friend.  They also moved to Manhattan, which meant I would see Rachel and Marty less frequently.  This all happened over the Christmas holiday, which was really odd because I wasn't used to moving in winter.  But we were all happier.  (The move is when my brother met Sara for the first time - future wife.)

After that was all over, Rachel and I were on holiday break and we spent our days shopping, day drinking, etc.  I liked day drinking in her new neighborhood because there was a different crop of guys on adam4adam and manhunt.  If I brought my laptop, I could open it at the bar or go to a coffeehouse after she left.  Within an hour I'd have a cock in my mouth or in my ass.  I started sucking cock more because I liked swallowing cum.  It felt so natural to feel that cock between my lips as I sucked it and worked the load from it.  I got fucked as well and I was definitely having guys wear condoms, put I told them to pull out and cum in my mouth now.

The sex wasn't always great.  Some guys are bad at it.  Some guys are too selfish and others are too pleasing.  Some guys have old pics and others are totally showing fake pics.  It started mattering less to me over the year because I was so horny and wanted the sex.

I would try harder with the younger, hotter and gorgeous guys.  I wanted them to feel great.  I wanted them to want to have sex with me again.  I wanted one of them to turn into the next Connor.  I still thought about Connor.  I still wanted someone like him.  Instead, I was going through dozens and dozens of "Connor clones" as Marty and Rachel called them.  

There were other guys too.  The ones who weren't the most attractive, or were older, or out of shape.  I tried less hard with these guys.  I mostly let them fuck my face and my ass as they liked.  It felt good in those moments to feel like "just a hole."  In those moments, I just wanted to feel something, anything like what I felt being with Connor.  Not to say anything bad about these guys.  Some were pretty cool guys and really nice, but I was not searching for a boyfriend when I was with them.  I was searching to feel better about myself.  

Then came NYE 2006.....

Marty insisted I go to a party with him.  "Total A list gays only."  Hosted by an A list gay couple - Wall Street guy and Theater guy.  I had a really bad feeling about this party.  Marty got the gaggle of gay boys together - only his "hottest friends" because he wanted to stay on the A list.  I was already seriously annoyed with this entire evening, but we had a couple bottles of champagne at Marty's apartment and I relaxed.  

We got to the party and Marty was totally right - penthouse unit, gorgeous building, Tribeca, filled with amazingly hot guys.  I was happy and knew I'd be getting some tonight.  We grabbed champagne off passing trays and made our way inside.  It was really packed.  After about an hour, I got separated from the guys and went out on the patio.  I was looking out at the view when I heard a familiar laugh.  My stomach sank.  I turned and there he was..................Connor.  Gorgeous, perfect Connor.  Connor who I hadn't seen since he dumped me in our kitchen.  Connor who said he "couldn't look at me."  Connor!

I spoke, my voice wavering because I couldn't control it, "Connor?"  He turned.  He looked at me and smiled and then I saw the smile fade and his face grow cold.  "Hi Zach," he said.  We tried to make small talk, but it was obvious to his friends that this was a bad scene.  Most of them went back inside.  One of them touched Connor's arm and gave him a knowing look, Connor said, "I'm fine.  I'll be inside in a minute."  As his friend left Connor said, "It's good to see that you are ok.  I'm glad for that.  But, I am not glad to see you tonight.  I hope you didn't come here looking for me.  I mean, how do you even know my boss?"  I was a bit stunned, but I explained that I was a guest of an invited guest.  Connor didn't necessarily believe me.  Connor said, "It's over between us.  You know that right?  Showing up here isn't going to make any difference in how I feel about you.  I despise you."  I was horrified and mad as fuck.  I said, "Not everything is about you.  I didn't want to come to this party tonight.  This A List scene annoys me.  But I'm not surprised that you are here."  And it devolved from there with us both yelling at each other.  

That's when Marty came outside and fetched me.  He said, "Fifteen minutes to midnight.  Let's go inside."  He took my arm and led me inside.  "Where's the bathroom?"  I asked Marty.  He took me to the bathroom and I bolted inside and cried for a few minutes and got myself together.  When I came out of the bathroom, Marty said that the hosts asked if I would leave after the toast at midnight.  Marty was really annoyed at me for making a scene.  He didn't even ask what happened.  We did the countdown and the toast and I turned to Marty and said, "I'm sorry we have to leave."  He said, "I'm not going anywhere.  You are the one who is leaving."  Marty told me the coats were in the bedroom down the hall.  

It took me about fifteen minutes to find my coat and I was getting angrier and more humiliated by the second.  A guy in his late 40s ended up helping me find it.  He noticed I was in a bad mood and asked if I wanted to go to another party with him.  He said, "It'll be more relaxed and less stressful."  I told him, "Why not?  My friends are ditching me to stay here."

We got in his town car and he took us across to the East Side.  It wasn't a nice building outside, but once we got inside the apartment was great.  There were attractive guys all over.  I could smell drugs and sweat.  As we went to the bedroom to drop our coats, I smelled the unmistakable odor of sex.  We did a few shots at the bar and my new friend introduced me to the host.  The host said that I looked a bit on edge.  I admitted I was.  He asked if I was on coke.  I said no.  He asked why I was so tense.  I told him I had a bad night and was anxious because I didn't know anyone at his party.  He laughed a bit.  He offered me ecstasy to calm me down and relax.  I took it and he said, "Just know that you are cut off of the booze now.  Only water.  The X is strong so you need to agree with me now or you can't have it."  I agreed and took the tablet.  

About an hour later I was bent over a couch and getting fucked by a really hot guy.  I remember thinking how hot and sexy he was and how I wanted him to fuck me.  I guess I actually said that out loud because he was fucking me.  I sucked off the guy who invited me to the party as I was getting fucked.  He had a nice cock.  I saw other people around but most of them were engaged in their own sex acts and not watching mine.  The hot guy who was fucking me said he was close.  He took a few more strokes, pulled out, ripped off the condom and came on my ass and my hole.  He rubbed his cock on my crack massaging the cum into my ass crack.  I reached back and spread my ass cheeks for him as he did it.  I felt his spongey bare cock head on my hole.  The top pushed his cum covered bare cock back inside me.  I moaned loudly around the cock I was sucking.

The top fucked me for another ten minutes before he said, "I'm close."  I said, "Cum in my ass."  He did.  The first knowingly bare load I had taken since New Orleans.  I loved it.  

I spent the next  two hours getting fucked bareback on the couch.  The guy who invited me to the party, the host, and a couple other guys all fucked me.  None of them used condoms.  I didn't ask any of them to use condoms. I begged for all their loads.  

The host eventually got me dressed, got my email for future parties, and sent me home.

Gradually over the next two years, I was less and less cautious about condom use.  I tried at first to play safe, but the urge took over.  The guy or guys either used condoms or they didn't.  I rarely mentioned them after the next party which happened over memorial day weekend.  I stopped carrying condoms, although they were in my bedroom drawer next to the lube, by the end of the year.  If I went to hookup and the guy had condoms and wanted to use them, cool.  If he didn't have condoms or didn't want to use one, I was good with that too.  

Bareback was totally my preferred way to fuck again by the time Barack Obama became the Democratic nominee for President in 2008.  How do I know that?  I was getting spitroasted by two guys the first night of the convention.  We were in my bed and when one of them took a condom and lube from the drawer.   I looked at the hand with the condom in it and said "You don't need to use that if you don't want to."  Those two Iranian guys plowed me bareback and made me beg for their loads all night.  I was in slut heaven.

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Bottom Boy John came to NYC for a conference in Fall 2008.  He had finished medical school and was in his residency.  He wanted to become an infectious disease specialist.  Over the years as he went on with his education, John seemingly became obsessed with HIV/AIDS.  He had always been a safe sex only bottom.  He was always talking about HIV and safe sex.  I mean, it's what he wanted to study, but the man talked about it all the fucking time.  I hadn't seen him in about a year and it was really good to see him.  We didn't have much time since he is in residency and was only in town for the conference.

We had dinner and a couple of drinks and then a couple of John's medical school classmates joined us.  I got tired of their conversation after about an hour and decided I'd leave and hit the bathhouse since I was in Manhattan.  It didn't hurt that John's friends were attractive and one kinda looked like Taylor Lautner.  Drool.  

I hopped in a cab and made my way downtown.  I'd've taken the subway, but I wanted to get there before midnight so I could get a couple of good fucks in before it was too late (early mornings for school).  I got to the bathhouse, decided on a locker, striped off everything, put the towel around my waist and went looking for cock.  It wasn't long before I was sucking a nice fat brown cock.  It stretched my lips so nicely.  I sucked this dude for a long time but he kept breaking off the rhythm we had going.  He said, "You give great head but I don't want to cum this way.  Do you want to fuck?"  I said sure and we left the hallway where I'd been sucking him and went into a dark room.  I turned to face the wall and I felt him grab my shoulders and rub down my arms, feeling for a condom tucked into my arm band.  I didn't have one.  I heard him say, "Fuck yeah" as he slid his spit covered cock into my ass without a condom.  I grunted in pleasure as he slowly began fucking me.  He fucked me for a few minutes.  I could tell this top wasn't going to last long.  He started jamming his cock into my ass with greater intensity, leaned in and said, "Here it cums."  Then he unloaded in me and bit my neck.  He bit me hard enough so I winced and didn't feel the intensity of his orgasm (which I love); but not hard enough to draw blood.  The top felt me pull away from him and he quickly apologized for losing control and made sure I wasn't bleeding.  

I was leaking his cum from my ass and said, "Fuck dude.  You shot a big load."  He said, "Been saving it for four days."  We smiled and as we parted ways, I felt another hand on my ass.  I felt for the wall and moaned as the second cock of the night pressed onto my hole.  He said, "You're wet.  Is that cum?"  I said it was.  This top pushed his cock head inside me.  I pushed back.  He slid in about half way and said, you have a hot ass man.  This top didn't last long either.  He barely bottomed out before he came in my ass.  I saw him as I turned around.  He was a party promoter, who I'd heard was straight.  LOL.  Guess not.  

Since I still hadn't cum, I wandered around looking for more cock.  I saw two really hot jock boys go into a room.  They were making out pretty hard core with the door open.  I made eye contact with one and then he nudged his partner who turned around and looked me up and down.  I guess my body was back in good shape because this 6 pack, totally cut jock boy waved me inside.  I went inside and the cut jock boy shut the door.  I dropped to my knees and started playing bobblehead on their cocks as they made out.  I felt them feeling each other as I gave them really great head.  It was almost like I wasn't there.  Then the blonde sat on the bed and took my head and made me kiss his cock.  I worked on him as his partner got behind me and sniffed, licked, and fingered my ass.  I heard him say, "You're a total slut."  He smacked his cock on my hole and said, "Can I ride you bareback?"  I said yes and went back to sucking on the blonde. 

The whole encounter with these guys took just under an hour.  They both fucked me.  I sucked them both.  We did some ass to mouth.  They made out with each other.  And I begged them both for their loads.  I wanted their cum deep inside me and I got it.  Loads 3 and 4 for the evening.  I came all over my stomach.  I thanked them and headed out to shower and leave.

I was passing by a room where I thought I saw John trying to push a guy off him.  I passed by, but circled back.  It took my less than fifteen seconds to get back to the room but now I heard John.  "Get the fuck off me!  I said no!  No bareback! Get the fuck off me!"  Another couple of guys were standing close and I heard one of them say to the other, "Wow he really gets into roleplay."  I pushed into the room and pulled the guy off John.  John's face was bleeding a bit above the eye.  The dude he was with fell on his ass.  The top was obviously high.  

I grabbed John and headed for the showers.  John was shaken.  I cleaned up and got him cleaned up.  We headed out to the changing area and I reported the incident to the guy at the desk.  The desk attendant flew into action as only a twinky drama queen can.  We were still getting dressed when this little twink dragged John's abusive top into the locker area.  The twink was yelling at the guy who was still obviously so high that he had no idea anything was wrong.  The twink asked John if he wanted to call the cops.  John said no.  He just wanted to leave.  We left the twink to deal with the high dude.

John and I went to a diner and talked for a few hours.  I wanted to make sure he was okay.  He's one of my best friends and I hated to see him this shaken.  We talked about a lot that night.  Why it's hard to be a bottom?  Why guys think it's okay to push us around?  Dating?  Sex life?  Eventually John got onto the topic of the night - the attempted rape.  He said, "I told him to use a condom, but he didn't seem to understand or want to use one.  I tried to put it on him and that's when he spun me around and my head hit the wall.  It was stupid.  I slipped.  I almost thought he was showing concern when I felt him leaning over me.  Instead I felt the fleshy head of his cock on my hole.  That's when I started yelling.  It was so fast and so confusing."  I let John get it all out.  He said, "So many guys are fucking bareback these days.  I swear it is harder and harder to get guys to use condoms.  It's like AIDS doesn't exist.  He said it's not just in his life, but also in the medical journal articles that were coming out.  Increasing numbers of gay men were engaging in unprotected sex with strangers."  

John went on about this topic for awhile.  He told me stories about his hookups - insisting on using condoms and leaving if the guy won't use one.  Having a dude leave his apartment after they met at a party and John wouldn't let him ride without a condom.  The dude just said, I don't fuck with condoms, got up, dressed, and left.  John was incredulous.  I was rock hard in my pants.  I realized that I would've totally spread my legs for that dude.  

John also said that he thought I was so lucky in college with the guys I fucked around with and dated.  He said he knew I liked getting bred.  He'd heard me beg for cum through the walls enough times to know.  John told me to be careful because it was getting riskier to have unprotected sex.  Momentary pleasure is one thing.  A disease is another.  

We ended the night as the early rising gym rats were on their way to the gym.  I hugged John really tight.  I loved him.  He'd never understand how great it feels to get bred though.  Just the thought of getting bred again turned me on.  I put John in a cab, waved goodbye, and watched as the cab turned the corner.  

I called in sick to work and walked back to the bathhouse.  The twink was getting off his shift and he fucked me and came in my ass probably as John was getting back to his hotel.

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Despite calling in sick that day, this semester was more difficult than previous years.  My departmental director changed and wanted to institute new teaching techniques using technology guided education methods.  Learning how to use the technology and how to teach using the technology required a lot more time than he anticipated.  I was rarely out of school before 6pm on weekdays and frequently reading about how to work with the technology on weekends.  I barely had time to run or go to the gym.  I stayed on a shorter workout routine, but continued to get home after 9-10pm.  

Consequently, I had very little time for sex and my hole was getting twitchy.  The holiday break came at just the right time.  I was getting tired of using my dildos.  I needed to get properly fucked and bred.  I went out to the bars in Manhattan with Marty, who was definitely still chasing the A List crowd around.  It annoyed me that he wanted to associate with these guys just because of who they knew, where they worked, and what parties they went to, etc.  Regardless of all that "noise," I was at the bar and it was time for some drinks.  It was also time to cruise the fuck out of these boys.  I scoped around the bar and and saw a few guys I liked.  I talked to one of them for awhile and he was in town from Chicago and had left his boyfriend at home.  After an hour, I realized this dude was not looking for a hookup and I moved on.  I went back to Marty and grabbed an open seat at the bar.  We hung out with his friends for a few hours as they discussed almost every guy in the bar - top/bottom, cock size, where they live, what they do, who they are dating, etc.  Granted, it interested me because I hadn't really ever seen any of these guys; so I encouraged them to talk more.  As I did so, the rounds of drinks kept coming and I was getting rather tipsy.

A couple of Marty's actor friends wanted to go to a bathhouse.  I said I'd go with them.  We left Marty and the others behind and went to a bathhouse I'd heard of but not been to previously.  I loved getting fucked, but it's not like I was a denizen of all things sexual in NYC.  I asked why they liked it and one of the guys said it's because they are mostly guys in their 30s-50s.  They had met some awesome daddies there.  I was up for some hot daddy action, why not.  

We got into the bathhouse and changed.  Marty's friends weren't shy about their bodies and they didn't need to be.  They were gorgeous.  We went in our towels, me also in a jockstrap, to the main area.  We saw some porn playing and guys watching it and each other and stroking.  We hung out for a bit.  The guys were right, these daddies were pretty hot.  Sure some were out of shape but there were plenty of built and toned daddies around to ride on.  We separated and I wandered the hallways for a bit.  I saw a face that I faintly recognized in a sling.  The room was large enough for me to get into and there was a bit of an audience.  I stepped into the room.  Leaning against the wall and stroking my cock, I was trying to remember where I met this dude previously.  He could be a fuck or a mostly anonymous fuck that I'd had over the years; but that wasn't it.  There was something more about this guy - something memorable.

As the top fucking him got closer, he asked if the bottom wanted his load.  The bottom grunted, "Give me your load."  The top unloaded in the bottom.  He pulled out and another guy stepped up to take his place.  The second top said, "Do I need to use a rubber?"  Almost in unison, the first top and the bottom said, "No.  I/He just fucked him/me bareback."  At the mention of the word bareback, the memory of this bottom flooded back to me.  It was Sam!  Sam, the pharmacist from when I was with Eli.   Sam, the never bareback, always use condoms guy who helped me pick out lube and condoms and enemas when I was 18.  Holy crap!

The second top finished inside Sam.  I stepped up and slipped my cock in Sam - bareback.  I was topping for the first time in years.  I wanted to feel his ass.  I wanted to have it - Mr. Safe Sex Pharmacist was taking my cock bareback.  He never mentioned a condom as I slipped inside him.  I was thinking how times have changed since I first met Sam.  He was such a Safe Sex guy back then.  I wondered what had opened him up to taking bareback loads from random guys.  I wondered if a boyfriend had gotten him hooked on being bred.  I wondered if he gradually stopped using condoms over the years.

I felt a cock press into my ass and I looked back to see one of Marty's friends slipping his cock inside me.  He said, "You have an amazing ass."  As he fucked me, I fucked Sam.  I had a hot guy fucking me bareback as I fucked Mr. Safe Sex pharmacist bareback.  Man, I was on a fucking high.  I was getting close and said, "I'm going to cum."  Sam begged for my load.  I fucked it into him. As I pulled out, Marty's friend stopped fucking me but left his cock in my ass.  He guided me to the wall and fucked me against it until he came.  He took awhile and I heard Sam beg for two more loads as I was getting fucked.  

I turned to look at Sam before I left the room.  He was in his 30s, toned, tight body, still really attractive and he was sweaty and covered in cum.  Fuck that's hot, I thought as I left the room.

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It was the next semester.  I had been teaching for a few weeks and needed a break from the tech heavy routine my classes had resumed.  I met Marty out for Sunday Funday over President's Day weekend.  We met in the mid afternoon at that same bar in Chelsea.  Marty's "A List" friends were there again.  I assumed the position of attentive Brooklynite listening to the wisdom of Manhattan gays.  I'm not sure why I did this except it definitely made all these guys like me.  Marty's friend who had fucked me in the bathhouse was there.  He introduced me to his boyfriend from LA.  I was a little surprised but didn't say anything since I wasn't drunk yet.  When the boyfriend went to the bathroom, Marty's friend asked me not to say anything.  I said I wouldn't, but it was sad not to get his load again.  He blushed and laughed.  He said, "I don't normally do that.  I was really drunk.  And, honestly, you have an incredible ass.  Are you wearing a jockstrap again?"  I thanked him and said I was.  He smiled and sighed knowingly.  LA boyfriend returned and we all melded back into the larger gaggle of gays.

I was about four drinks into the afternoon/evening when I heard Marty say, "Oh fuck!  It's Connor."  I looked up into his face and Marty later told me that my face read, "Fucking hell?  Really?  You couldn't have warned me?  OMG!  Oh, I'm going to be ill," all at once.  Connor and another guy, who looked like an Aryan poster boy, joined the gaggle.  Turns out this guy is an attorney and he and Connor have been dating for awhile.  They'd been seeing each other  since the NYE party when I last saw Connor.  Ugh.  I was so over it.  It was my turn to buy a round (otherwise I would have left) and I stepped up to the bar to get drinks.

Connor stepped over to me.  He asked how I was doing.  I just kind of stared at him.  I am not sure I want this "friendship."  He told me that he was really happy with the new guy.  He asked if I was dating anyone.  I said no.  His face showed concern as he said, "I'm really sorry about last time we saw each other.  I didn't know what to do or how to act.  At the time, you were still the only guy I'd ever loved.  It hurt to see you.  I am sorry."  At this point I can't decide whether to scream or cry. I mumble, "I'm sorry too."  Connor said, "It took me years to get over our relationship.  I've forgiven you for everything.  I really do hope you are alright."  

I have no idea how I got our drink order into the bartender, signed my credit card receipt, and started to give the drinks to the other guys.  Connor was helping me.  I guess I'd bought a drink for him and his new man.  It was hazy.  My stomach and my heart and my brain were all a jumble.  It was like my brain was in my gut feeling everything; my stomach was in my heart trying to poorly manage my circulatory system, and my heart was in my head desperately trying not to feel anything and keep the body moving.  I turned to Connor and said, "It was good to see you.  I'm glad you are well."  We resumed engaging with the gaggle.  

I don't actually remember leaving the bar.

I spent that night getting bred at the bathhouse. I made time every night that week to have sex.  And then the week after that and the week after that.  I went back to apartment where I'd gotten fucked on NYE and spent a whole weekend getting fucked and bred by my host and his friends.  I craved the attention from guys - it didn't matter who the guy was; just that he wanted me.  Wanting my ass was enough.  I wasn't happy unless I had cock and cum in me.

It was during this time that I became a regular at the bathhouses.  I loved running into guys I knew or kind of knew or knew of while I was there.  It was a slight thrill to get fucked by them or watch them having sex.  What I didn't know is that I was beginning to get a reputation among Marty's friends as being a bareback slut.  Not someone in the A List and definitely not someone to be seen with in public.  No matter how many of them had fucked me or how many times they had fucked me; the group-think was coalescing around the idea that I was a "bareback slut" and shouldn't be invited around anymore.  I didn't know how Marty was sliding away from me, and taking Rachel with him, because I was too busy getting fucked.  What I needed, they couldn't provide.  

I noticed something was up one night around the spring break period.  Marty wasn't returning my calls or texts.  I went out the bathhouse that night and ran into a couple of Marty's friends.  They said hi but then they walked off.  Not unusual bathhouse behavior, but these were chatty guys.  I let it go and wandered around.  There were a few guys I recognized who had previously fucked me and I got a cock in me within a few minutes of being there.  I took the guy's load and kept cruising.

One of my favorite bathhouse encounters happened that night.  I was walking the halls, cruising around, looking in open doors, and generally making myself available.  I stopped at an open door where this really built guy - bulky, football player build was getting railed by a black guy who I knew had a humongous cock.  The bottom is totally riding back on the guy's cock.  He is taking every thrust and matching it with the rhythm of his ass.  The black guy stops fucking him and says, "Fuck yourself on my cock bitch."  The bottom looks back at his top and says, "Yes sir."  He sees me.  I see him.  It's Jason - the high school quarterback who I caught fucking my first boyfriend Eli.  The memory floods back of seeing him pound Eli in Eli's bed.  I can't believe it but I start getting hard thinking about it.  

Making eye contact with Jason, I realize that his eyes are glazed over.  He's on drugs.  Not sure what, but he is still lucid enough to fuck himself and recognize me at the same time.  I walk up to him and put my rapidly growing cock at his lips.  He starts sucking my cock.  The top now takes back over fucking Jason because Jason can't both fuck himself and suck cock at the same time.  The top pounds Jason and I can feel how much Jason loves taking the cock because his mouth constricts when the top bottoms out.  It's as though he is silently moaning for my cock and opening his throat at the same time to let my cock in farther.  In that moment, if Jason could've opened himself wide enough at both ends; I think he would have loved the top's cock and my cock to touch in the middle of his body.  I was a slutty bottom, but Jason had me beat.  At least I think he did.  

Jason's desire to suck cock was getting me very close.  I said I was cumming and Jason sucked like a hoover to get all my cum.  He swallowed it all.  I pulled out of his mouth and leaned against the wall.  It took another five minutes for the top to unload in Jason's ass.  He made Jason beg for his cum.  It was so hot to watch Jason beg like a whore.  The top unloaded in Jason and pulled out.  He slapped Jason on the ass and said he was a great fuck.

The top left and Jason closed the door.  We looked at each other and laughed.  Here he was, the high school quarterback, the top jock, the top who broke up my relationship with Eli, the guy who got to fuck Eli when Eli wouldn't let me fuck him and he was getting bred like a bitch in a bathhouse.  Jason and I relaxed on the bed for a bit.  He was coming down off his high and was pretty lucid.  He told me about getting fucked into submission by his fraternity brothers during college.  Honestly, it kind of sounded like a porn movie.  He'd been a total top until he moved into the fraternity house his sophomore year of college and then his roommate fucked him one night four times.  His roommate then told the other guys that Jason was a cockhound and he was getting fucked so much he almost failed out of school the first semester sophomore year.  He got his academic shit together by the second semester and was a wall street trader now.  He said, "They made me love taking cock.  And I still love it."

He asked about me and I told him.  He was glad I wasn't judging him about getting fucked bareback.  I said, "Judge you.  I fucking loved watching that top fuck your jock ass."

Jason asked if I wanted to go to a party with him that night.....................

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Jason and I went to a really great building on the Hudson River.  I would call it the Upper East Side.  We were buzzed in and took an elevator.  When we got out of the elevator, I could hear the low buzz of a party and saw a couple really sexy 20-somethings stumble out of an apartment door.  We walked past them and entered the apartment.  They said, "Have fun sexy fuckers."  I turned to look at them and smiled.  They were really hot.  I wondered where Jason brought me. 

There was a long hallway, followed by a rather large sunken living room and a decently sized kitchen with a breakfast bar separating it from a platform overlooking the living room.  There were groups of guys all over, couples, groups talking, two guys fucking by the window.  We went to the kitchen and grabbed a drink.  Jason then took me to the bedroom where we stripped off our clothes, put them in a bag, and went back to the party.  We were both in jockstraps.  As we left the bedroom, another door opened at the other end of the hall.  Jason turned toward the room and said, "Come on."  We walked in and I saw a small group of guys on the bed.  The guys were really attractive twinks, twunks, jocks, and a sexy French otter in the center of the bed getting fucked.  He welcomed Jason.  Jason leaned in and kissed him.   

Soon Jason was sitting on the bed and a guy  was spreading Jason's legs.  He asked Jason if he wanted to get fucked.  Jason moaned and said yes.  The top guy said, "You and Frenchie are always such sluts."  That's when the guy fucking the French otter blew his load, screamed kinda loud, pulled out, and another dude took his place fucking the French guy.  Fuck this was so hot!

I watched for awhile as my dick grew hard.  I wanted to be as free as Jason and be on my back letting guys fuck me.  It looked so good.  I finished my drink and went for a refill.  I made this one all vodka and did a shot with the guys in the kitchen.  I wandered back to the bedroom.  I watched some more as the guy fucking Jason was really getting into it.  He kept feeling Jason's body and making Jason suck his fingers.  I drank my vodka by gulps.  

Guys felt my body as I sat on the bed.  Jason looked over at me and smiled.  One guy  leaned over and kissed me.  I kissed him back and our tongues wrestled.  The guy I was kissing reached between my legs as I reached for his solid cock.  The guy feeling my hole put his cock to my lips and said, "suck this!"  I licked the tip of his dick.  It tasted good.  I sucked the head into my mouth and did the short stroke for a bit.  Then I took the rest of his cock into my mouth.  I tried hard to get it all in but now realized how thick it was since he was stretching my mouth.  

I sucked his cock for a few minutes before he pulled out, grabbed some lube, fingered it in my ass, and handed me some poppers (which I used).  I spread my legs as he slid his bare cock inside me.  His dick spread my ass some and I grunted.  Jason reached over and stroked my cock as my top's balls touched my ass.  I was adjusting as the top started stroking in and out of my hole.  Jason's top came in his ass and another top replaced him.  My top leaned over and kissed me as he fucked me.  He grabbed my shoulders from under my back, my legs spread and feet parallel with the ceiling, and he kissed me and pumped his cock into my ass.  The top fucked me for about five minutes.  He leaned into my ear and said, "Tell me you want my load."  I said, "Do it!  Give me your load."  He shot his load in me, collapsed on me, then kissed me again and we untangled ourselves.  He grabbed my hand and said, "Come with me."  I went with him.  As I left the bedroom, I turned around to see another top taking over on both Frenchie and Jason.   

The group in the living room area had changed a bit.  I was brought over to the couch and the guy who'd been fucking me said, "Sit on this cock."  I looked at the very sexy Latino dude with a great big cock and I stood over him on the couch.  I lowered my ass to his cock and my cum filled ass swallowed his cock slowly as I lowered myself.  The top said, "This bitch is a natural bottom.  No enhancements need."  I answered, "Except vodka."  The Latino looked at me and smiled and said, "Get this bitch some vodka. Ice?"  I said, "Yes please."  I continued to ride his cock.  I guess I'd been getting in good workouts or I was just really fucking horny because I didn't feel the burn in my legs or glutes from riding this cock.

My top brought back my drink and handed it to me.  I lowered myself all the way down on the dick and drank about half the drink.  The Latino dude lifted me up a bit, said "Don't spill any" and proceeded to carefully turn me over the couch with his cock inside me.  I had no idea how he did it but he must've stretched me out a lot.  I was now bent over the couch as the Latino dude fucked away at my ass.  He was driving his cock in and out of my ass.  I had trouble finishing my drink and set it down on the floor behind the couch.  A guy stepped up and put his cock to my lips.  I was opening my mouth when I saw my previous top get bent over by a really thin older guy.  My previous top said, "Knock me up man."  The skinny older guy jammed his cock inside him.  I started sucking the guy in front of me.  He didn't last long.  In a few minutes, he filled my mouth with cum.  He pulled away and I looked back at the Latino fucking me.  He was watching my previous top take a raw, dry fuck.  He was obviously in pain as the older thin guy banged away at his ass and called him a names like "slutty cunt, "nasty bitch" and "bugchaser."  As that top sped up so did my Latino dude.  The Latino dude and my previous top made eye contact and the guy getting fucked mouthed, "I love you" to the Latino dude fucking me.  The older top and my Latino top came in our asses at about the same time.  The Latino dude pulled out of me, went over to my previous top, pulled him up into a kiss, and led him away to the bathroom.  The older thin top said, "My work here is done."  He got dressed and left the apartment a few minutes later.

I picked up my drink which now had some cum in it; but I drank it anyway.  I was going to the kitchen when a deep voice said, "My sweet boy.  Long time.  What are you doing here?"  I turned and there was Lou.  Lou was the black guy who'd fucked me in Albany before I went to college.  I turned and threw my arms around him.  I kissed him.  "Lou!!!!!,"  I cooed.  He laughed and said, "I watched you getting fucked by that Latino dude.  Did you make him use a condom?"  I blushed and shook my head no.  Lou reached around and slipped his thick finger in my sloppy ass.  Lou said, "You want to get fucked some more."  I nodded.  He bent me over the counter and slid his giant dick into my hole in one stroke.  My eyes rolled back into my head as he fucked me.  

Lou fucked me for about 30 minutes.  He was putting on a show - not just for me, but for the other guys.  He was showing them what a great fuck he was even though he was probably the oldest guy there at the time.  I watched as guys watched me get fucked, talked about it, and the entire room evolved into an orgy.  By the time Lou made me beg for his load out loud, guys were sucking and fucking everywhere.  Lou laid on my back for a minute.  Both of us a sweaty mess.  I had cum on the floor as he came inside me.

We left and went to his hotel where he and his friend fucked me a couple more times.  In the morning, Lou, his friend and I had room service.  Lou and I parted ways that afternoon.  I never forgot how we met, or how he stealth bare fucked me years ago, or how he fucked me and made me beg for his load in front of a room full of guys the night before.   Ah, Lou!!!!!!!

24 minutes ago, jbucktown said:

 

 

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