Prep Stigma In The Usa

[rawfuckr]

Today was one of those days where I got reprimanded, yelled at and blocked on a gay app because I was asking to BB with me being neg on PrEP. Guy kept saying 'only safe!!!' which is beyond dumb... It doesn't make the experience feel any better from my side.

 

For me, here in SF, it's quite rare to find people who are sticking to their guns about the condoms thing. At least, they could be nice about it. I try to approach 'safe only!!' people on a friendly manner. They have condoms that are 80%-90% effective, I have PrEP that is 99% effective... let's talk. But most of them are stuck up, don't want to learn the facts and they will slut shame you right away. It feels like they fit the profile of Trump supporters!!   

 

Are people around here experiencing PrEP stigma these days in USA too? 

Edited August 16, 2016 by rawfuckr

[chibtm2breed]

Safe is his choice, you as an anonymous bottom who he or anyone can't trust saying on PrEP or negative etc wanted bb. Neither is wrong, and both should be respected, and condoms do help with other stds too. As a top, he has more choices to pick from. It's not "stigma", it's respecting each person's choices and if they don't match, you either agree to safe or move on hoping to find another top.

Edited August 16, 2016 by chibtm2breed

[rawfuckr]

Really? He sounded fine, safe is his choice, you as an anonymous bottom who he or anyone can't trust saying on PrEP or negative etc wanted bb. Neither is wrong, and both should be respected, and condoms do help with other stds too. As a top, he has A LOT more choices to pick from. It's not "stigma" it's respecting each person's choices and if they don't match, you either agree to safe or move on hoping to find another top.

I was actually the top, but it doesn't matter. 

 

First of all 'safe' is meaningless as there is no 'safe' when you have sex. There is 'safer' in which both condoms and PrEP apply, so if you want to say condoms, say condoms, not 'safer'.

 

And not sure if you read my OP. He did NOT respect my choice and turned the conversation in a slut shaming tirade that ended with getting blocked at the moment as I tried to talk to him about the FACTs of PrEP vs condoms. With most guys I meet that insist on condoms it usually ends with a "it's not going to work" and parties part ways no problem.. this guy went after me with the typical "you are going to get HIV" "you are completely irresponsible" ... completely groundless claims. If this is not stigma, what is it?

[C10H15N]

I find being on PrEP is getting me a lot more of the right kind of attention.

I don't waste my time with stupid.

[rawfuckr]

I find being on PrEP is getting me a lot more of the right kind of attention.

I don't waste my time with stupid.

 

I'm just thinking I'm going to put a "BB only" wording on profiles to avoid further trouble. 

 

Hopefully that will weed out the wrapped play nazis. 

Edited August 26, 2016 by rawfuckr

[seaguy]

I would just avoid the safe only guys.  That is what I tend to do, as my experience is that the safe only guys tend to be the types who would get all freaked out if you got them to go bare and then be texting or contacting you asking if your "clean" and shit like that.  Who needs that drama?  Guys who say have "open to discussion", "ask me", or "bareback only" are more open minded and usually more educated about HIV so they are better fucks anyway cause can really get into it and not be freaking out afterwards.

[justsexnowatl]

Been on PrEP 2 years, tell about 90% of my friends I/m on it (so are a lot of them), and haven't had any slut shaming (probably would from the other 10%, which is prob why I keep quiet lol)

 

My sex during that time has all come from bbrt or CL ads looking for bareback, or regular buddies and THEIR buddies, so obviously no slut shaming there either.

 

I JUST rejoined Grindr earlier this week.  Haven't been on since PrEP really was out there, so trying to figure out best way to bring up bb there.  So many barebackers in Atlanta I almost feel like it's assumed it's gonna be a raw fuck unless condoms are specifically mentioned.  I would assume it's the same in SF too though even more, so maybe I'll start experiencing more of this reaction now that I'm on Grindr and have to actually bring it up.

 

In the past, most reactions have been more about how to get on it, cost, any reactions etc.   

 

All my regular friends know I've always been very sexual and pretty slutty, into groups, sex clubs, etc.  I think they're more surprised I'm actually still neg than the fact I'm using PrEP

[PissPigBrooklyn]

Sorry you got shamed, rawfuckr, when you should have been commended. Obviously the bottom either doesn't know about the effectiveness of PrEP or is worried about other std's or doesn't trust the men who say they are on PrEP to be telling the truth. Regardless of his reasons, the moment he realized that you were going to stick to bb only (and that's the only decent way to fuck I think) he should have politely said "no, thank you, not interested" and ended the conversation. He had no right to judge or shame you and you are better off finding another sexual partner, one wo will appreciate the pleasure of skin on skin. (And with you hot thick cock I bet it is a pleasure indeed!)