NOT MY STORY but I thought you guys would enjoy it About a year ago, I finally gave into my bi-curiosity and joined grindr. I was up front about it - I'd never done anything with a guy but was interested in giving head. A few false starts in chatting with guys before one peaked my interest. He was pretty relaxed, right around my age range, lived alone a few blocks from my work. We chatted for a couple days and then set up a plan to meet up in a few more days.
That was probably dumb. I'm not one to renege on my deals but was so tempted to. The nerves were getting the best of me, until the day came and a general calm of "okay, this is just going to happen" came over me. He shot me a message once he got home from work and showered and I headed over.
Brief chit-chat, heart pounding in my chest, my cock some mix of excited and terrified. We finally got it after a few minutes, sitting on his couch, my hand slipped onto his lap and over his shorts. I rubbed through them for a few minutes before he kicked them, and his boxers, off. He was about five inches and a decent thickness. I leaned over his lap and finally touched my tongue to a cock. The nerves left and my cock sprang to life.
I sucked him slowly sitting next to him for a few minutes before he suggested I move to the floor. Kneeling in front of him, I got much better access to explore. He knew my situation and encouraged me to try things out. Licking, kissing, playing with his sack, trying to take all of him, sucking the head and stroking. All the things I liked done to me, plus some things I wanted done to me.
He let me explore for maybe 15 minutes before telling me he wanted to cum. He took his cock from me and stroked it fast while I kept watching. Just a minute or so later he told me to put it back in my mouth and he coated my tongue. I've never been so hard while I swallowed.
I left right after, struggling to keep my erection hidden until I got home and jacked off. He messaged me later that night, complimenting me and offering to give me more practice if I wanted. I did.
Just two days later, I was back on my knees. Again, he let me experiment for a little while, then jacked off into my mouth. I swallowed his load again a few days later. Then the next day. It took a few weeks before I made him cum myself. Hearing him growl and grab my head was incredible. He praised how much better I was at this and wanted to keep helping me improve. With how hard I came every time I went home after, I wanted his help too.
I started to blow him 3 or 4 times a week, mostly right after work. He'd mostly sit on the couch, occasionally he'd be in bed, once we hopped in the shower. A few times, I went over while I was still at work - just take a lunch break at a weird time. He'd text, I'd be over as soon as I could make it. One day he had me over three times - stopped by before work, again on my way home, and made a trip back before bed.
After a couple months, he started mentioning how he wanted to fuck me. At first, it was just before he came. I could pretended I didn't hear it and made my way out right afterward - just like I always did. The thought had crossed my mind, but I mostly pushed it aside. This was just about blowjobs.
Until he started bringing it up more often. As soon as I'd get his cock fully into my mouth, the head pressing down my throat, he'd say how much better it'd be to have it in my ass. I shook it off a few times, but the flipping my stomach did told me I'd let him, eventually.
Eventually was just a couple days later. I was already horny when a Saturday morning text invited me over. He was in bed waiting for me. I was in my own bed teasing my cock while looking at porn. Drying off after a quick shower, I grabbed a few condoms out of a bathroom drawer.
I let myself in and headed to his bedroom. He was naked, laying on top of his sheets, his cock already hard. I climbed onto his bed, quickly sliding my lips all the way down his shaft and tasting the oozing precum sweet in my mouth. He let me suck him for a minute or two before he brought it up. He wanted to fuck me. I stopped sucking and agreed.
I gave him a condom and stripped down. He suggested I get on my back and pull up my legs. He wanted to watch my face while he did it. I did, it was weird but gave him good access. He briefly sucked me - the first time and one of just a few times he's done it since - before rubbing lube on my asshole. He went slowly while I tried to relax.
I must have relaxed well because I was surprised when he said he was all the way in. Sure, it was sort of painful, but I liked it. A lot. He fucked me slowly for a few minutes before he came. I didn't, but cleaned up and jacked off in my car before driving home.
I blew him a couple more times that week before he brought up sex again. I agreed right away and he fucked me from behind on his floor. We settled into that routine for a little while : I'd blow him twice, then the third time I came over, he fucked me.
A month later or so and he suggested I get on PrEP and we abandoned the condom. I did and now he fucks me almost every time. He's filled me up twice this week and I know he always wants it Friday mornings. I expect a text about 7, will be bent over around 8, and at my desk before 9. If I'm lucky, he'll want it again after I leave work. Here's hoping
I’m HIV negative but have been engaging with a partner who is Poz.
Is there a cut off or number where transmission is more definite? Just found out sexual partner is not actually undetectable, but has, what he calls, a low viral load of 6350 and a cd4 of 310. What are my chances of transmission after multiple hookups?
So guys, here I am 52 and finding I have never been really true to myself sexually. I am a cock lover and have done my share of sucking cock and been to sauna’s and parties but I have never just let myself go to be fucked or fuck. I love semen and really enjoy bareback when I do it (which is rare) but hold back. I talk the talk and but when it comes to it I stop. I go to sauna’s and suck, get sweaty but as soon as a guy gets his cock near my hole I pull away. I don’t even mind the HIV thing and am fully prepared to go poz. But think my problem is I know I can be a true slut if I start following my innner desires, and would bend over or top all the time if I could. But I can’t get over this barrier of just letting go, it’s been like it all my life and now at 52 realise I am getting to old. I have also put on a little weight which doesn’t help. But love the thought of barebacking all the time and living free of this barrier. I live in East London, UK so can meet guys if I need to, but for some reason I stop, it might be the STI thing other than HIV. Just wondered if any of you feel the same?