Bareback Dilemma

[Hopesexual]

Hello everyone,

I'm facing a problem and this site might be the best place to talk about it.

I'm a 23 year old gay dude and I really love taking cocks into the ass, have been fucked by several men over the last years, most of them anonymous and bare. I'm not really sure about my status but I THINK I'm negative as I kept the amount of sexual encounters rather low (like two or three times a year). Anyway one can never know so I'm gonna get myself tested soon, but honestly I'm pretty sure I'm negative at this point in time.

The thing is, I feel like I've been holding myself back all these years. Living with my family or with heterosexual friends made me suppress the urges to become a total cumslut. However, I'm about to move to a new town soon which gives me pretty much the opportunity to start from scratch and live how I want to live.

This is where HIV comes in. While the thought of being bred by a hot poz top is really exciting and a major turn on, getting pozzed could be something I regret for the rest of my life. It's appealing but at the same time very frightening. But if I want to go through with the lifestyle of a cum pig it seems almost unavoidable.

What can I do? Condoms are not really an option, I don't like them and almost no tops want to use them anyway. I already looked into Truvada but in Germany (where I live) it's way to expensive and definitely not affordable for a student like me.

Any opinions on what to do...?

 

[MuscledHorse]

Yes, do what cock hungry breeding bottom beasts like me that are NOT chasing disease do: go on PreP. I am a huge power bottom slut and it is great. I know I could come up positive as there is always a small risk to everything, but man the freedom and pleasure is worth it in my favorite male sport: sex and sodomy.

[Hopesexual]

Thank you for your reply.

Going on PReP would be the obvious answer but as stated above, I'm just a student and the meds are not affordable here.
Insurance doesn't cover it either because it's prophylaxis which they don't pay for in Germany.

[MuscledHorse]

6 minutes ago, Hopesexual said:

Thank you for your reply.

Going on PReP would be the obvious answer but as stated above, I'm just a student and the meds are not affordable here.
Insurance doesn't cover it either because it's prophylaxis which they don't pay for in Germany.

Well that sucks! Did you look online to see if  the manufacturer offers assistance? That's how it's done over here in the USA, we have manufacturer issued drug trial or discount cards for expensive brands.

[justsexnowatl]

Search on this site and other places "Tenvir" and "Tenvir - EM".  I can't vouch for it personally but have seen many guys here post about it as the "generic" when prescription Truvada is not an option.  Maybe some other guys on it will reply also, but do research on that.

[MuscledHorse]

12 minutes ago, justsexnowatl said:

Search on this site and other places "Tenvir" and "Tenvir - EM".  I can't vouch for it personally but have seen many guys here post about it as the "generic" when prescription Truvada is not an option.  Maybe some other guys on it will reply also, but do research on that.

Being a different country, the Brand names often differ so you want to look for anything with the chemical combination of Emtricitabine and tenofovir

[BarebackFan]

You may want to consider hooking up with undetectable poz guys while you figure out whether prep is something you can afford. Undetectable guys can be safer than a neg guy that just hasn't received his poz diagnosis. 

[breedboy1]

I really recommend trying to get prep, however you can. If you can't then I agree with RBinWeHo that you should try to hook up with undetectable guys, if you can. It's going to be really difficult to resist taking a lot of cum when you are out on your own. 

[garsento]

Undetectable guys can be quite safe, agreed. Certainly I'm infinitely more likely to do bareback with an undetectable guy than with someone who claims to be negative! Just be sure you are on the same page.

[Hopesexual]

Thanks for the answers so far!

As for Tenvir and other 'replacement products' for Truvada, they are not legally sold in Germany. Well even if they were, I'm not sure I could afford them either to be honest.

Only hooking up with undetectable guys sounds like a good idea in theory, but in practice? I mean let's say I'm in a bathhouse or in the sex dungeon of a gay bar, and want to get bred. Even if I ask everyone who wants to fuck me about their status (which is something people normally don't do at those places), won't everyone just tell me they are negative or tell me what I want to hear anyway? I mean it's anonymous sex so they can easily get away with it.

(To be honest, I'm not even sure I could turn everyone down who says they are negative, especially when I'm lustful and the top is really hot)

[rede4it]

From my vantage point there are only three options for a horny bottom when it comes to bareback sex.  Abstinence, protection or acceptance seem to be the only choices.  If you like to bottom in the places you mentioned, it is highly likely you will eventually convert.  Even with some effort at sero-sorting you will find out guys lie or perhaps are unaware of their own status.  My experience with most baths, dark room etc. is that don't ask, don't tell is the common situation.  

Is HIV medication easily obtained/reasonable cost for you?   Perhaps that is the path you will take.  Just understand that it is going to happen at some point and count on getting medication.   

[Leatherman667]

If you were to become poz is HIV medication available free in Germany?

[Hopesexual]

Well ironically, yes.

In Germany, health insurance covers all of the costs for HIV medication but none of the costs of prophylaxis.

[garsento]

36 minutes ago, Hopesexual said:

Thanks for the answers so far!

As for Tenvir and other 'replacement products' for Truvada, they are not legally sold in Germany. Well even if they were, I'm not sure I could afford them either to be honest.

Only hooking up with undetectable guys sounds like a good idea in theory, but in practice? I mean let's say I'm in a bathhouse or in the sex dungeon of a gay bar, and want to get bred. Even if I ask everyone who wants to fuck me about their status (which is something people normally don't do at those places), won't everyone just tell me they are negative or tell me what I want to hear anyway? I mean it's anonymous sex so they can easily get away with it.

(To be honest, I'm not even sure I could turn everyone down who says they are negative, especially when I'm lustful and the top is really hot)

In this particular situation, where it looks like you're much less interested in one-on-one sex and much more interested in anonymous group sex, I really do not think you will be able to avoid HIV infection for long.

If you want to avoid HIV, I would urge you to avoid these situations, at least until you can get PrEP from somewhere.

[Hopesexual]

I just want to experience my sexuality without limits. Maybe rede4it is right and the only options are protection, abstinence and acceptance.
Taking protection out of the equation and I'm stuck deciding between abstinence and acceptance.

Abstinence might be the smarter choice, but it's pretty much what I did all my life. I finally want to feel like I'm living, I want to feel other men's most intimate parts inside me.
Waiting until I can afford PrEP would probably take even more years of my life until I can finally live the way I want to live.

Urgh... on the one hand, risk of HIV exposure is real and high, but on the other hand I just want to let go of everything and enjoy feral, manly lust.