Fight horny urges?

[seaboycumslave]

Hi. I guess I just want to put this out there and see what people have to say. I’m not sure who to talk to about this so I’m just talking about it here.

 

As of now, I’ve been in a committed and closed relationship for a long time for me (almost 2 years). During this time, we have been closed.

Before we were very serious and we were both occasionally seeing other people, I was a huge slut. I would suck off strangers in public restrooms, I would go to local bathhouses and suck many guys and get fucked. But I am in love with my partner and have been completely faithful once we became serious.

 

every few months or so when I get especially honey, I have the urge to get fucked by strangers and suck of people I don’t know. In fact I once was in a public restroom and the guy next to me was cruising (tapping his feet, I tapped mine too and he put his hand under) but I immediately left although I really wanted to suck him or have him fuck me.

 

does anyone else ever get this? How would you suggest I approach this? I haven’t brought it up with my partner as I’m afraid he would think it’s gross or something, or he may feel bad that he thinks he can’t satisfy me.

i don’t want to lose anything I have with this man I love but it is really hard to pass up the temptation of a strangers cock cumming on my face or fucking my ass understall.

[Guest alwaysready]

I think it would be best to bring this up with your partner. do it not as a 'I want to,' as much as 'I have these urges.'  see how he reacts. if he freaks out and threatens to end the r/ship, or does end the r/ship, the r/ship was doomed to begin with. I am not encouraging you to give in to your urges without letting your partner know. if you have these urges so strongly, then I doubt this is going to go away.  is it the sex you want, or are you chasing poz seed? if it is the latter, then you must tell him. 

[cumbottom4use]

have a heart to heart talk with him and be totally honest about how you feel and what your desires are.  He may also have the same feelings as you and then you could both have an open relationship.  (By the way, you are really cute!)

[seaboycumslave]

It’s not the poz seed, it’s the anon sex. The image of me just giving up myself to be a complete slut to some random stranger gets me so horny. But I’m sure if I did do it I would feel terrible afterwards. So I guess I’m trying to get this off my chest here so I can’t bring it up with my partner later

[seaboycumslave]

bottomboy4use, thank you! haha

i will have to talk with him. I’m not even sure I want an open relationship, I just have these extreme fantasies I’m not sure what to do, like try to ignore them or think about something else so that they stop popping in my head all the time

[PissPigBrooklyn]

If it is not the poz seed and you decide to pursue anon sex get on Truvada. Knowing you are on that may help to alleviate whatever fears he may have too.

[cumbottom4use]

well, you would make a great slut boy if that is what you decide to do!

[RotzBBengel]

1 hour ago, seaboycumslave said:

I’m not even sure I want an open relationship, I just have these extreme fantasies 

I'm afraid you're playing this down. This is not a mere fantasy, like some virgin fantasizing what it would feel like to finally get fucked, this has been your actual lifestyle for quite a while. Not something you dream about doing but something you've already done - and enjoyed big time. That need to get used by strangers will not be easily suppressed, it's an integral part of your personality, your sexual identity, and it won't go away just because your bf might disapprove.

The longer you deprive yourself of what you really need, the stronger those urges will become, I'm afraid.

The love and respect you feel for your partner are so obvious in all your posts. If you're already feeling bad for having fantasies, what will it be like once you give in to them again?

I assume you and your bf have unprotected sex, which means that he totally trusts you and knows that you'd never knowingly expose him to danger. Getting fucked bare understall by some stranger seems the worst thing you can do, both betraying his trust and risking his health.

Honestly, I don't think you'll be able to suppress those urges for ever, it's only a matter of time until you'll find yourself with an ass-full of anonymous cum and if I were in your place, I'd tell my bf before it's too late.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck!!!

 

[bbaremich]

It sounds like being a slut is in your sexual nature. I agree with the above comments that you should bring this up to your bf, which is probably going to be hard conversation to have. I think an open relationship is what you ultimately desire. I believe that love and sex are totally separate: you can love one person but sexually desire many people. 

[AZRawPig]

Hard question for anyone to answer. I personally have friends that have wonderful loving relationship's. They're basically VANILLA.  My relationship with them is about understanding their need for ONE of the partner need's an outlet for his primal needs. Yes,  its beyond their VANILLA sessions. But at least the other half knows me and I return their other half back without interfering in their stable loving household. All party's know there's no emotional interference here. You can have options;but,  everyone must be completely clear up front. 

[Guest alwaysready]

I think love and sex can be totally separate, sometimes. I would not state that as a rule. I would hasten to add that going beyond the sexual, realizing intimacy, is the real problem with r/ships. 

seaboy is expressing what so many gay men have felt through time. he is admitting he is sexually precocious, to put it in a klassy way.  b/c this is who you are, it is part of you, I think you need to talk to your partner.  try to be positive (stop snickering everyone). try not to make it about him. b/c really it is about you. his failure, if you can call it that, is in not having the same sex drive and ... adventurous spirit. it is best to find out if there is room you to go slutting. I admire you not doing so, and being monogamous. I would say withoug much fear of contradtiction, though, that you need more than one man.  your style of cruising is very retro. very much what was going on in earlier, happier days.  there was The Golden Age of Promiscuity.  I would like to see that return, though I am probably too long past my expiry date to benefit personally.  hugz, seaboy

 

[Guest alwaysready]

very good comments rotzbbengal. 

[punaman]

I'm in a monogamous relationship with my husband and I really enjoy knowing it's just me an him, no worries (he's already POZ UD) but today I saw this hot, hot, hot black guy and for the first time since I met my husband, I had fantasies of having any and all kinds of sex with this guy. It's not like I'm sexually neglected, he fucks me raw every two days or at the most three, and blows me after each time.  I think having sexual fantasies is completely normal. If I ever had the balls to approach this guy, I wouldn't do it, but the thoughts sure got me hard. Do what you feel you need to do, I wouldn't necessarily tell your partner about your fantasies, but if you do act on them, then he has the right to know. Just my two cents.

[rede4it]

I have three opinions on this subject.   Both I hold pretty firm.

First, no innocent partner should ever be exposed without consent.   Period.   If someone takes the risk by going to baths, etc, that is one thing.  But to be exposed without knowledge is simply wrong.  It is also selfish on the part of the one providing the "risk".....

Second, I think every homo is "programed" to fuck as much as possible.  Certainly some make the choice to act on that, as other make the choice to be monogamous.  

Third, I am very much "PRO POZ" and would encourage every faggot to consider that as the crowning achievement of their queer experience.

But wrapping my beliefs (and my own actions/practices) into a summary.   Act on your urges, share cum and the bug if  you wish--just be upfront about what you are doing.  Do not make your choice someone else's reality.

[Guest]

Agree with the others up stairs, consider prep eventually if you think you might end up doing something outside.

You could have some random sex if its going to alleviate your feelings but do know that if youll pick up an std you might end up giving to your partner which is the worst way of showing one's infidelity.

Either find a way to make your sex life with him more intense and satysfying and find how to invest your sexual energy in something else... hobby, creativity, or sex toys, or eventually evaulate your relationship. Open relation means he will go with other guys if he accepts it, are you ok with it?

Best of luck cuty face