Jump to content
BreedingTop71

Why do you want to get pozzed?

Recommended Posts

For those bug chasers out there, a question. Why are you actively pursuing the HIV virus? What is so appealing about an infection? I am not being critical, i am just curious, since self-preservation is encoded in our DNA and looking to get infected by life -threatining virus seems counter-intuitive to an outsider.  

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, BreedingTop71 said:

Why are you actively pursuing the HIV virus?

I also don't understand chasers. I can understand someone who "doesn't care" because it means he's free to take any load he wants. I've read here about young guys in their 20's wanting to poz when to me it would make more sense to just focus on sex and accept whatever happens.

What happens to chasers once they poz? I ask because chasers get off on taking poz loads but once you poz? Then what?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A )  For most gay men who were sexually active prior to the AIDS crisis, getting the NEGATIVE results after a test is a good feeling.

B )  For most chasers, finally feeling all of the things associated with their first "exposure" is a unique and powerful experience.

For me, choice A was part of my day two Saturdays ago.  Choice B was part of my sexual experience one week ago, almost to the moment I am typing this.

The now spent test stick from that "last" negative test is still on my desk, a reminder of what was.  The small notebook beside it contains the details of my chase activities, an omen of what will be.

The question, as posed by the OP remains WHY?

It is not a death wish, for I have a great life, many friends, loving family, good job/income.  

It is not self hatred, I am not ashamed of being gay, I have accomplished a good deal that I have wanted to, I am respected and loved.

It is not, in it's most basic form a cry for attention.  I have been recognized for accomplishments, good deeds and service to my community.

It is not evil or demonic.  I am respective, trusting and supportive of the good things in the world around me.

Then what is it?   For me, it is a powerful force.  A force that has been drawing me to this point for many years.  A force that has been invisibly, but forcibly guiding my actions for years.

That force has many facets.  While I can identify many of those facets, some I still cannot.  And I cannot understand the weight each of those facets adds to the overall force.

For now, I will choose to not defend nor over explain those elements.  I will simply list some of the ones that I explored prior to opening myself to that first exposure of last Wednesday.

Like many men my age, the AIDS crisis was a big deal in the early part of our lives in the gay universe.  There is a desire to connect to the generations of HIV infected men, living and dead.

I am an experiential learner.  Much of my life has been about learning through actions.  Knowing what a chase, an infection diagnosis and living with the virus can only be truly known by living it.

The AIDS crisis had a huge impact on the narrative of gay life.  Some of that, compassion for the individual has been good.  But much of it, fear, stigma and isolation has been bad.  Those with the disease have a seat at the table where the gay narrative can be redefined for a newer era.

Pushing my own "sexual envelope" has always been important to me.  Exploring many avenues of sexual expression has helped me fully understand my own homosexuality and related desires.  The entire gift giving/chasing subculture presents a sexual frontier full of new adventures.

Forty years of careful, mostly safe sex has been supplanted by a couple handfuls of exposures over the past week. The coming weekend will see my immune system exposed to even more of the virus.  Had this force been of lesser power, I would have never reached this position.  But now, it is not just a force, it is my destiny.

Denying that seems futile, embracing it is my choice.   

 

  • Like 6
  • Upvote 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
51 minutes ago, craig1955 said:

A )  For most gay men who were sexually active prior to the AIDS crisis, getting the NEGATIVE results after a test is a good feeling.

B )  For most chasers, finally feeling all of the things associated with their first "exposure" is a unique and powerful experience.

For me, choice A was part of my day two Saturdays ago.  Choice B was part of my sexual experience one week ago, almost to the moment I am typing this.

The now spent test stick from that "last" negative test is still on my desk, a reminder of what was.  The small notebook beside it contains the details of my chase activities, an omen of what will be.

The question, as posed by the OP remains WHY?

It is not a death wish, for I have a great life, many friends, loving family, good job/income.  

It is not self hatred, I am not ashamed of being gay, I have accomplished a good deal that I have wanted to, I am respected and loved.

It is not, in it's most basic form a cry for attention.  I have been recognized for accomplishments, good deeds and service to my community.

It is not evil or demonic.  I am respective, trusting and supportive of the good things in the world around me.

Then what is it?   For me, it is a powerful force.  A force that has been drawing me to this point for many years.  A force that has been invisibly, but forcibly guiding my actions for years.

That force has many facets.  While I can identify many of those facets, some I still cannot.  And I cannot understand the weight each of those facets adds to the overall force.

For now, I will choose to not defend nor over explain those elements.  I will simply list some of the ones that I explored prior to opening myself to that first exposure of last Wednesday.

Like many men my age, the AIDS crisis was a big deal in the early part of our lives in the gay universe.  There is a desire to connect to the generations of HIV infected men, living and dead.

I am an experiential learner.  Much of my life has been about learning through actions.  Knowing what a chase, an infection diagnosis and living with the virus can only be truly known by living it.

The AIDS crisis had a huge impact on the narrative of gay life.  Some of that, compassion for the individual has been good.  But much of it, fear, stigma and isolation has been bad.  Those with the disease have a seat at the table where the gay narrative can be redefined for a newer era.

Pushing my own "sexual envelope" has always been important to me.  Exploring many avenues of sexual expression has helped me fully understand my own homosexuality and related desires.  The entire gift giving/chasing subculture presents a sexual frontier full of new adventures.

Forty years of careful, mostly safe sex has been supplanted by a couple handfuls of exposures over the past week. The coming weekend will see my immune system exposed to even more of the virus.  Had this force been of lesser power, I would have never reached this position.  But now, it is not just a force, it is my destiny.

Denying that seems futile, embracing it is my choice.   

 

Damn!!  Very well stated, this covers pretty much everything that about all of us have felt or are feeling about it and it's attraction....

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

being a bottom, I love love love being cummed inside. Hmm I dunno, I as a bottom I want to feel cock and I want to be filled as filled can be with cum and it sucks as a neg. I dunno if any you every just had that ultimate high feeling to take as much cock as you can. I have been fucked by a few poz I used to talk to to convinnce me while horny I wanted it. each fucked me no less an twice. Havent been sick yet but if I get, I did what is most important to me, being cummed inside?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

as a transsexual,its the only real way I can become pregnant with some dads babes,i am so broody for poz loads

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i got pozzed really from i dunno.. i would eat cum out dif guys condoms.. pay girls to feed it to me. then tranny chased fuckn n suckn every tranny raw... ive had for yrs just been real ill n sick some days.. face deteriorating,  lesions n im always horny . i still eat random cum n lick feet n i have 4 stds to date 

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Each to there own , I was just to preconditioned as a mid 50s guy that HIV was a death sentence (it was in the late 80's)

I want BB sex , but now with prep these is no reason to contract HIV

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎10‎/‎18‎/‎2017 at 9:05 PM, craig1955 said:

A )  For most gay men who were sexually active prior to the AIDS crisis, getting the NEGATIVE results after a test is a good feeling.

B )  For most chasers, finally feeling all of the things associated with their first "exposure" is a unique and powerful experience.

For me, choice A was part of my day two Saturdays ago.  Choice B was part of my sexual experience one week ago, almost to the moment I am typing this.

The now spent test stick from that "last" negative test is still on my desk, a reminder of what was.  The small notebook beside it contains the details of my chase activities, an omen of what will be.

The question, as posed by the OP remains WHY?

It is not a death wish, for I have a great life, many friends, loving family, good job/income.  

It is not self hatred, I am not ashamed of being gay, I have accomplished a good deal that I have wanted to, I am respected and loved.

It is not, in it's most basic form a cry for attention.  I have been recognized for accomplishments, good deeds and service to my community.

It is not evil or demonic.  I am respective, trusting and supportive of the good things in the world around me.

Then what is it?   For me, it is a powerful force.  A force that has been drawing me to this point for many years.  A force that has been invisibly, but forcibly guiding my actions for years.

That force has many facets.  While I can identify many of those facets, some I still cannot.  And I cannot understand the weight each of those facets adds to the overall force.

For now, I will choose to not defend nor over explain those elements.  I will simply list some of the ones that I explored prior to opening myself to that first exposure of last Wednesday.

Like many men my age, the AIDS crisis was a big deal in the early part of our lives in the gay universe.  There is a desire to connect to the generations of HIV infected men, living and dead.

I am an experiential learner.  Much of my life has been about learning through actions.  Knowing what a chase, an infection diagnosis and living with the virus can only be truly known by living it.

The AIDS crisis had a huge impact on the narrative of gay life.  Some of that, compassion for the individual has been good.  But much of it, fear, stigma and isolation has been bad.  Those with the disease have a seat at the table where the gay narrative can be redefined for a newer era.

Pushing my own "sexual envelope" has always been important to me.  Exploring many avenues of sexual expression has helped me fully understand my own homosexuality and related desires.  The entire gift giving/chasing subculture presents a sexual frontier full of new adventures.

Forty years of careful, mostly safe sex has been supplanted by a couple handfuls of exposures over the past week. The coming weekend will see my immune system exposed to even more of the virus.  Had this force been of lesser power, I would have never reached this position.  But now, it is not just a force, it is my destiny.

Denying that seems futile, embracing it is my choice.   

 

VERY well said.  I only started to BB about 3 years ago.  I was somewhat particular playing with guys who said they were on Prep or undetectable.  I felt comfortable with that, still knowing that the could be telling me a lie.  I was not normally a cum dump, but not to say that didn't happen now and then.  While at Gay Days I was a dump for 3 guys at a bar.  As one dumped his load in me he said that he was positive. A few months later, I thought that I had the flu.  Yes I was scared, but at the same time excited about the possibility.  It was kind of a rush to me.  I was not however.  I gave it some long and hard thought, and chatted with many here, both poz and negative.  At that point, I decided it was OK to become a chaser, well kind of.  If I was to be gifted, I would want to know who the gifter was.  Many told me to just be a random dump, and it would likely happen, but that's just not what I wanted.  I have had several guys saying that they would be willing to help me, but nothing has ever evolved from it.  Not sure if they were serious, or just talkers.

I do still BB with strangers, but now I don't ask if they are undetectable or on Prep.  So why do I want to convert, just read what Craig said.  My thoughts are exactly the same.  I would add only a few points.  Unlike when I was young, HIV is now manageable.  Several have asked if and when it happens, would I go on med? This brings up my second point and response.  I would in time, but at 53 it would be nice to "have a baby" with someone who wanted my gift. Now I'm a total bottom, but I could see that changing.  Finally, I believe it would sexually liberate me.  I would not have to worry about some random person in a group infecting me. 

My only concern is with the upcoming state of healthcare in the US. Quite frankly, that scares me more than HIV. Thanks to the other responses he to the question. 

 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎19‎-‎10‎-‎2017 at 3:05 AM, craig1955 said:

A )  For most gay men who were sexually active prior to the AIDS crisis, getting the NEGATIVE results after a test is a good feeling.

B )  For most chasers, finally feeling all of the things associated with their first "exposure" is a unique and powerful experience.

For me, choice A was part of my day two Saturdays ago.  Choice B was part of my sexual experience one week ago, almost to the moment I am typing this.

The now spent test stick from that "last" negative test is still on my desk, a reminder of what was.  The small notebook beside it contains the details of my chase activities, an omen of what will be.

The question, as posed by the OP remains WHY?

It is not a death wish, for I have a great life, many friends, loving family, good job/income.  

It is not self hatred, I am not ashamed of being gay, I have accomplished a good deal that I have wanted to, I am respected and loved.

It is not, in it's most basic form a cry for attention.  I have been recognized for accomplishments, good deeds and service to my community.

It is not evil or demonic.  I am respective, trusting and supportive of the good things in the world around me.

Then what is it?   For me, it is a powerful force.  A force that has been drawing me to this point for many years.  A force that has been invisibly, but forcibly guiding my actions for years.

That force has many facets.  While I can identify many of those facets, some I still cannot.  And I cannot understand the weight each of those facets adds to the overall force.

For now, I will choose to not defend nor over explain those elements.  I will simply list some of the ones that I explored prior to opening myself to that first exposure of last Wednesday.

Like many men my age, the AIDS crisis was a big deal in the early part of our lives in the gay universe.  There is a desire to connect to the generations of HIV infected men, living and dead.

I am an experiential learner.  Much of my life has been about learning through actions.  Knowing what a chase, an infection diagnosis and living with the virus can only be truly known by living it.

The AIDS crisis had a huge impact on the narrative of gay life.  Some of that, compassion for the individual has been good.  But much of it, fear, stigma and isolation has been bad.  Those with the disease have a seat at the table where the gay narrative can be redefined for a newer era.

Pushing my own "sexual envelope" has always been important to me.  Exploring many avenues of sexual expression has helped me fully understand my own homosexuality and related desires.  The entire gift giving/chasing subculture presents a sexual frontier full of new adventures.

Forty years of careful, mostly safe sex has been supplanted by a couple handfuls of exposures over the past week. The coming weekend will see my immune system exposed to even more of the virus.  Had this force been of lesser power, I would have never reached this position.  But now, it is not just a force, it is my destiny.

Denying that seems futile, embracing it is my choice.   

 

This is the above competition BEST and most analytic and most MATURE and SANE description concerning HIV! your words, your sentences are so PRECISE so well thought and well put - I admire you very much indeed, you are a very strong role model - and I am sure more insecure chasers will find GREAT help and SUPPORT!

xx

Carsten

  • Like 2
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm off prep currently. HIV neg so far. In retrospect,  I guess I want to feel how people live with HIV by letting myself get HIV. I guess that makes me crazy, eh? Maybe I should not do it. Though, I had an ex boyfriend who got the virus and I love him. so I kinda like Lady Gaga in a sense when she writing in one of her songs " I want your disease" (Bad Romance). I love my ex-boyfriend, and I want to get whatever he has. He doesn't want me though :( . Heartbroken. but alas. what can I do without being a stalker. 

I know cool people who have HIV and that "coolness" is the face of HIV for me. Do you understand? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/18/2017 at 4:14 PM, hungry_hole said:

I also don't understand chasers. I can understand someone who "doesn't care" because it means he's free to take any load he wants. I've read here about young guys in their 20's wanting to poz when to me it would make more sense to just focus on sex and accept whatever happens.

What happens to chasers once they poz? I ask because chasers get off on taking poz loads but once you poz? Then what?

I can't speak for all of us, really just myself.  I have spoken to chasers when I was chasing & since becoming POZ & we all have our own reason for doing what we do.  For me, I was happy with condoms, it never entered my mind that I would be a bug chaser.  Then it seemed like it happened in a day, my attitude flipped & I wanted to bb & realized that I was suddenly sexually aroused by the thought of being POZ.  I knew that I would be okay with helping other chasers cross the bridge when the time came.  I have always been a top.  Now that I'm POZ I really get off on the idea of taking POZ loads, even though it is rare when I do.  I still get horny because I am POZ, got even hornier when my doc diagnosed me with full-blown AIDS.  My belief always ways that I would let this ride out until I needed to be on meds which is what happened.  After 5 years from my diagnosis to when I saw an HIV doc, my T-cells had hit 50.  So I'm now on meds.  Will consider a med vacation if someone wants my help.  I will always remember what it was like when I was chasing & how happy I was when I met a POZ pig willing to bring me over.  My sexual interest is in bug chasing & swapping, getting the most STDs.  Can't explain it any more clearly than that.  I have no wish to die, I am not punishing myself or hate myself or feel guilty in any way & will take meds as appropriate.  But I enjoy being POZ immensely.   I enjoy playing with other POZ pigs & certainly feel an attachment.

  • Like 3
  • Upvote 10
  • Downvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am still coming to terms with changing my mind about barebacking and getting pozzed. I am incredibly aroused by the idea of getting pozzed. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am starting to understand better, thank you. For me it is harder to understand as i have never bottomed, so the idea of taking someones dick in the ass is alredy foreign even though i LOVE to breed ass, male or female

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Other #BBBH Sites…

×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.