concerned1 Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 (edited) I was speaking to another fellow strict top who never bottoms ...he is uncut and does bareback on a very regular basis with anon strangers in the sauna/bathhouse...almost every weekend. He says he hasn't tested for HIV in over 3 years. I asked him why? I said that for someone barebacking on such a regular basis and fucking so many hundreds (literally hundreds ) of anon holes each year - he really should be testing. He said no, he is fearless and doesn't "give a fuck". I asked, does he not worry at all whatsoever about HIV? he said no, that as a strict top, it is "very unlikely to ever happen". I told him he is crazy and that if he carries on, he will, at some stage whether sooner or later, end up poz eventually....and given that he is uncut, I said his risk is not low, but actually quite moderate to even high. Still, he would not have it. He said I don't know what I'm talking about. I said to him if tops couldn't get it, then how did AIDS become such a huge thing in cities like New York, San Francisco, L.A. , London, Paris etc in the epidemic of the 1980s and early 1990s? Gay and bisexual men were dropping dead like flies...surely, they couldn't all be bottom. He said that it was only because of versatile guys that the virus spread and not because of strict tops . I think this guy is talking bullshit and just doesn't want to face hard, cold facts. He's maybe just scared shitless of what he's doing and knows it's very dangerous...maybe he suspects he may indeed already be poz and just in denial? He basically ended the conversation by saying that he can fuck raw without being on PrEP or taking PEP as long as he remains a strict top, and he should be ok. Is this guy crazy? Or is he correct? Edited January 13, 2018 by concerned1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilqueerpig Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 Whether this guy is crazy or not, you're not gonna change his mind. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Upstateguy518 Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 You're not gonna change his mind so let it happen. He's bound to catch it sooner or later fucking raw, Doesn't matter if you top or bottom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators drscorpio Posted January 13, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 He's not crazy, but he is wrong. Lots of tops believed this years ago. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
concerned1 Posted January 13, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 13 minutes ago, drscorpio said: He's not crazy, but he is wrong. Lots of tops believed this years ago. And I bet I know what happened to all of them..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators drscorpio Posted January 13, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 51 minutes ago, concerned1 said: And I bet I know what happened to all of them..... Well, I haven’t kept in touch with ALL of them ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjbottom Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 Being wrong or misinformed is not the same as being crazy; however, some people refuse to accept facts that run counter to their beliefs and will continue to be wrong or misinformed. You did your best to educate the person, now you need to let it go for your own peace of mind. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChainedBoy Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 Denial is a very POWERFUL force. He has made his choice - as have those he breeds. Disagree, but don’t disparage. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barecubtop Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 If he really said "very unlikely to happen" he's admitting that there is a risk as a top, so that's something. But, the "very unlikely" part is probably being too generous. The risk is lower as a top, but not impossible. And, as you have said, his being uncut will add to the risk. As others have said, you may not get him to change his mind during the course of a conversation with him, but having a conversation at all is a good starting point. It may not be wise to "hit him over the head" with a bunch of stuff (factual articles you may find online to send him and such), but if it ever comes up again you might want to have something to show him. It's up to him what he wants to do and the level of uncertainty he's comfortable with. It would be unfortunate if he is infected with HIV (and any other STI's out there) and doesn't find out until it progresses to a critical point of sickness, not to mention the fact that he would be spreading things like crazy if he really is having so much anon sex every week. That's not good for our communities (the gay/bi community, the barebacking community, the sex-positive community), despite what some of the bug-chasers and spreaders on this site may say. Sometimes I think we all still need to see that poster/diagram they have in testing clinics that show how having multiple partners spreads diseases like wildfire. Bottom-line: ALL of us are susceptible to STI's/HIV, especially when we bareback, and being a strict top doesn't necessarily make it any less of an issue. (just think of all the other things he has probably been exposed to - gono/chlamydia, syphilis, herpes. Is he getting tested for those?) 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest descartes70817 Posted January 13, 2018 Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 I would say he is sadly misinformed. I educated myself and accepted that there was a lower, but still significant, risk of infection, even as a strict top but it was a risk I accepted. I convinced myself that I would never fuck enough guys to be at serious risk but I was as wrong as I could possibly be about that. I didn't test, and that was how the first I knew I was poz was after I almost died from double pneumonia last year. Tell your friend to grow the fuck up and take responsibility for himself. Having to track down everyone you can remember to inform them sucks, especially when one of them is your wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
concerned1 Posted January 13, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 I was expecting quite a number of guys on here to be backing him up, given how many guys on here believe that topping raw poses hardly any risk to the top. It does, in actual fact (and I'm pleased to say this) seem most of you have your heads screwed on properly! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
concerned1 Posted January 13, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2018 @descartes70817 did you become infected through topping? I see your profile says your a vers top, that's why I ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BBBoyfromTN Posted March 9, 2018 Report Share Posted March 9, 2018 Like others have said he's not crazy, just misinformed, probably in denial, and likely using that as an explanati N/justification for fucking bare. My sex Ed in school was awful and I'd heard that whole "you can't get it if you're a top" bs too. I'm uncut and only found when it was too late that tops are at WAY more risk if they're uncut. Of all my fuck buds the ones who were uncut have almost all either pozzed or went on PREP; one was all top and he got pozzed so there's some annecdotal proof. you tried to educate him but he's not going to admit to being wrong or misinformed. Guys like that, and like me, won't admit to that. Even after getting a good sex education I still barebacked cause it felt good, I hated condoms on me and in me, and loved the feeling of a guy cumming inside me and cumming inside a guy. Maybe he's poz and wants to spread it to other guys...who knows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punaman Posted March 10, 2018 Report Share Posted March 10, 2018 does anyone know why uncut tops get HIV more than cut tops? I'm uncut mostly bottom and neg so far. Husband is HIV+ UD and I fuck him occasionally. Have taken many poz loads before meeting him and am still neg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sluttyhungtop01 Posted March 10, 2018 Report Share Posted March 10, 2018 Surprised by the amount of level headed responses Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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