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"I feel like a young man trapped in an old man's body"


hungry_hole

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When I hear statements like "I feel like a woman trapped in the body of a man" I wonder why it doesn't work with age. Society is bending over backwards to accommodate people who in essence do not accept their body. Their DNA and physique says they are men but they insist that they are women and society takes them seriously by building separate washrooms, etc.

What about some old man who "feels" young and insists in dressing like a twink and demands being treated as a youth. What are the limits of social acceptance? Why is it that with sex we can now choose but not with age? Most people tend to laugh at the sight of an old man who tries to dress up as a young man and we demand that the old man accept his age but not sex? After all age and sex both have specific physical markers, unlike sexual orientation and sex roles (top/bottom)

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My opinion, and it's just that, is you're comparing apples and oranges. When I see an older guy ( around 50 or older like me) with twink clothes or a Justin Bieber haircut, it just reeks of sadness. Granted, growing older can be tough, but do it with some dignity. There are plenty of ways to be stylish, if you're into that, without broadcasting your psychological issues. Having said that, when I see someone out and about who is youth obsessed, I'm still respectful, it just kinda makes me think they have some issues to resolve.

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  • 4 months later...
Guest FinalDL2021

I keep myself in excellent shape and just dye some of the grey out of my hair, makes me look about 10 or 12 years younger. I am more alive sexually now, then when I was 20. I wish I could travel back in time with my current mind-set, I would have had a lot of fun.

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42 minutes ago, BiTakenItBare said:

 I wish I could travel back in time with my current mind-set, I would have had a lot of fun.

Exactly this. It has everything to do with what we expect of the mindset that comes with age. “When I was a child I acted as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things.” When we see the physical signs of years on a man, we expect that man to also exhibit a mindset that reflects a life of experience, and a grounding in reality. We expect a man who has weathered enough of life’s storms to know what really matters. (“If you’re bleeding, look for a man with scars.”)

When we see a man bearing the marks of age but not showing the signs that his mind has been shaped by his experience, something seems off. The childish things have not been put away.

Personally, I yearn for the day when the sexual fire inside me goes out, and lets me age in peace, and settle down with my books - but right now I’ve got to start getting ready for CumUnion in three days, where, if the past four months are any guide, my 51-year-old ass will likely be bred around 20 times. God knows I would never pass for a twink, and I wouldn’t know “stylish” if it kissed me full on the mouth.

As for dignity - well, how much dignity can one really claim with his naked ass up and pointed toward the open door to his room?

And that sort of begs this whole question, doesn’t it?

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Wow, some really great thoughts here... from everyone, so i couldn't decide who to "quote." 

Another angle to this is many of us witnessed a gay sexual revolution, while younger guys have been born and grown up post 'revolution.'  So to speak. i know things are not perfect, but things have really changed a lot in my life time. i got arrested in 1998 for cruising an undercover vice cop pretending to be gay to entrap gay guys. i was charged with a felony using a earth 1900's law that made fucking with a guy a felony.  This was in Virginia, but even there this wouldn't happen today.

 I was married to a woman for 31 years, but knew from age 12 that i am attracted to guys. Grew up in a religious culture, but even regular culture saw gay guys as "sick."  Homosexuality was only removed from the APA list of disorders in 1973.  I remember going to the library at 12 and trying to figure things out, all the medical books said i had a disorder and my religion told me i was going to hell if i "chose" to live this way.  

All this to say, i think if you are part of the older generation, you've likely had a lot to undo in order to find self acceptance. I didn't actually accept myself for who i am till 2006. I did a lot of processing all those years, so my self acceptance is very thorough, but i did miss out on being able to go through the normal phases of development. I think there is some real truth to the notion of older guys going through a puberty of sorts when they finally feel free to accept their self.

I don't think the idea of "feeling like a young man trapped in an old mans body" is strange or unusual at all because i think in a way, it can be true. I get mixed reviews this age, and am surprised at the number of younger people who seem to flirt with me, but i am careful not to cross a line.  Most of my sex is anonymous cruising, and that's still pretty easy to get, but am getting more rejection now too which i attribute to age. 

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3 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

i got arrested in 1998 for cruising an undercover vice cop pretending to be gay to entrap gay guys. i was charged with a felony using a earth 1900's law that made fucking with a guy a felony.  This was in Virginia, but even there this wouldn't happen today.

1998? 1998? Holy Moses and a plague of frogs. Please God tell me you’re not sitting there today with a felony record because of that. (I would say something impolite about Virginia, but here in Kentucky Kim Davis is still court clerk in Rowan County - and running for re-election.)

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4 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

1998? 1998? Holy Moses and a plague of frogs. Please God tell me you’re not sitting there today with a felony record because of that. (I would say something impolite about Virginia, but here in Kentucky Kim Davis is still court clerk in Rowan County - and running for re-election.)

I was scared to death, i hired a ridiculously expensive lawyer who dealt with stuff like this all the time. It took a year to go to court and in that time the arresting officer actually apologized to me for arresting me.  The attorney general at the time was very conservative and instructed his attorney to go for blood, but the judge pretty much laughed at him and asked my attorney "what do you want to do?" to which my attorney did a sorta "well shucks" move and put it back in the judges court who then reduced it to a misdemeanor of "indecent exposure."  The thing is, there was no "exposure," it was just a conversation where i asked the cop if he wanted to fuck me.  I was so relieved to have it reduced, i didn't even consider the judgement.  So, it is on my record and as a healthcare provider, i have to explain it to every employer who ever interviews me. I've found that everyone is pretty understanding, but it is embarrassing to have to explain it. If i were the person i am today, i would have made a lot of noise... but i was married and scared then.  

Which was part of my point, culture for many of us who are pre social acceptance of gay people was different. Many of us were ashamed and felt compelled to hide, so we didn't have a chance to be young and gay. 

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The effect of the 2003 U.S. Supreme Court decision in Lawrence v Texas was to declare anti-sodomy laws unconstitutional and invalidating existing laws in 14 states including Virginia. You should be able to get the conviction expunged from your record. There’s no reason for you to have to keep explaining that to anyone. I would see an attorney about having your name cleared.

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On 7/11/2018 at 10:56 AM, ErosWired said:

Personally, I yearn for the day when the sexual fire inside me goes out, and lets me age in peace, and settle down with my books - but right now I’ve got to start getting ready for CumUnion in three days, where, if the past four months are any guide, my 51-year-old ass will likely be bred around 20 times. God knows I would never pass for a twink, and I wouldn’t know “stylish” if it kissed me full on the mouth.

As for dignity - well, how much dignity can one really claim with his naked ass up and pointed toward the open door to his room?

" Men of my age flock together; we are birds of a feather, as the old proverb says; and at our meetings the tale of my acquaintance commonly is --I cannot eat, I cannot drink; the pleasures of youth and love are fled away: there was a good time once, but now that is gone, and life is no longer life. Some complain of the slights which are put upon them by relations, and they will tell you sadly of how many evils their old age is the cause. But to me, Socrates, these complainers seem to blame that which is not really in fault. For if old age were the cause, I too being old, and every other old man, would have felt as they do. But this is not my own experience, nor that of others whom I have known. How well I remember the aged poet Sophocles, when in answer to the question, How does love suit with age, Sophocles, --are you still the man you were? Peace, he replied; most gladly have I escaped the thing of which you speak; I feel as if I had escaped from a mad and furious master. His words have often occurred to my mind since, and they seem as good to me now as at the time when he uttered them. For certainly old age has a great sense of calm and freedom; when the passions relax their hold, then, as Sophocles says, we are freed from the grasp not of one mad master only, but of many. The truth is, Socrates, that these regrets, and also the complaints about relations, are to be attributed to the same cause, which is not old age, but men's characters and tempers; for he who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition youth and age are equally a burden."

-Plato, Republic, Book 1.

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