Jump to content
ErosWired

“Can you call me an uber?” And other unreasonable requests

Recommended Posts

A couple of weekends ago, I’m lying ass-up in a hotel room fielding responses from my BBRTS, A4A and CL ads, and I get a bite.

”I’m so glad to finally find someone on CL who isn’t going to flake,” he says. “I’ll be over as soon as I hear about a car. My mom has ours tonight.” [Uh-oh. And according to what he’s told me, he’s 30.] “The guy with the car didn’t come through :( I guess I can’t come” [Oh, what the hell, he’s like three minutes away; I offer to go get him for the sake of the fuck.] “I don’t know...I guess that could work...” [I pick him up.] “Would you mind stopping by my friend’s house? He picked up my epilepsy medication for me.” [Bloody hell. God only knows what he’s picking up. This is underscored when he gets back in the car and says, “Oh my God, that looked so bad, didn’t it, like a drug deal or something.” Shit. Don’t say anything, just drive back to the hotel, hope for a clean fuck, and drive him home.]

Did that happen? No. By the time he got his shorts off he started having epileptic tremors and said, “I hate to ask, but could you take me home?”

*sigh*

After I got back, lubed myself back up and resumed the position, my very next email was from a young Top who asked only: “r u generous?”

~fume~

I informed him that I was the one offering the service here, that I had no trouble whatever getting bred frequently for free, and that the reason for this is that I am, in fact, very generous - with my ass. He did not accept my generous offer to try it for himself.

About an hour later, I got a follow-up CL message from a guy who had expressed interest earlier in the evening. He said, “Can you call me an uber?”

I came veeeery close to replying, “You’re an uber.” But it was time to head to the bathhouse, so I just said screw it, closed up shop and left for happier fucking grounds.

What’s the most unreasonable - or just looniest - thing a guy has asked you for on a hookup? I can’t be the only one who gets these nutjobs...

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Damn! I’m not sure if I still would have been in the mood after all that. I’m guessing next time, you’re going to hit the baths by the time the first flake emerges. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

More of an unter, nothing "uber" about that guy.

Hook up sites can really be an exercise in insanity sometimes.  There's a certain percentage of immature, irresponsible, and just plain crazy guys on hook up sites, and it's a role of the dice who will respond to an ad. There's also lots of awesome Men too (well, i pretty much think all men are awesome, even those that make life challenging, i can't help it, i just love guys).  

Had Grindr on yesterday late afternoon/evening. One guy contacts me and wants a bj after a karate class. He got lost and was about an hour and a half late, but kept talking to me and i was able to talk him in. He had an enormous load, had to pause to swallow. wishing it was in my ass. Another guy contacted me while i was talking this guy in and wanted to cum after he was done.  I contacted him back, he asked for address, which i gave, and he disappeared. This is a common flake that is the most frustrating, talking a good line and then just dropping off the face of the earth. I sent "how long", then a question mark, nothing. Then two hours later he responds, "you still want me to come over." Fuck. I asked him: "where'd you go" and he responded: "personal stuff."  The excuses are always the lamest part, if you even get one, these are the same guys whose dog ate their homework. 

I do love the ass up, anonymous walk in scene, but have done it less and less because of the number of unreliable guys on hook up sites. FB's work well for that, and thank goodness for them. Otherwise, i just end up at the ABS where i almost always get a minimum of 5-6 loads.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One guy was kept on about how I must want to go into business with him. 
Not often lost for words. How to say politely that even if I was, one hour into an anon,  2am bb fuck meet maybe not the best moment… .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@gwmxyz - Maybe, maybe not... Was he offering to whore you out? I would have given such a business offer my undivided attention.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I get tired of the guys wanting me to call/text them after the second message.  The other day I was chatting with a guy on Adam, chatted a few times with him, and he wanted me to call him yada yada.  Wasn't really in the mood, I was ready for bed LOL.  So I call him and it goes straight to voicemail.  I mean seriously?  If you want to chat on the phone fucking turn it on, and answer it.  I messaged him that I tried, didn't hear back, so I went to bed.

That happened Thursday, today I wake up and he messaged me asking why I didn't call him back right away.  Pissed me off, I told him off.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

About eight years ago what I thought was a hot younger vers top black man turned out to be a total bottom that once we were done with our "experience" asked me to pay for a cab back to town (live 18 miles south of a city).  He had just enough cash for the taxi ride down but no money to get back).  Let's just say that was the one and only time with that guy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/16/2018 at 4:07 PM, ErosWired said:

A couple of weekends ago, I’m lying ass-up in a hotel room fielding responses from my BBRTS, A4A and CL ads, and I get a bite.

”I’m so glad to finally find someone on CL who isn’t going to flake,” he says. “I’ll be over as soon as I hear about a car. My mom has ours tonight.” [Uh-oh. And according to what he’s told me, he’s 30.] “The guy with the car didn’t come through :( I guess I can’t come” [Oh, what the hell, he’s like three minutes away; I offer to go get him for the sake of the fuck.] “I don’t know...I guess that could work...” [I pick him up.] “Would you mind stopping by my friend’s house? He picked up my epilepsy medication for me.” [Bloody hell. God only knows what he’s picking up. This is underscored when he gets back in the car and says, “Oh my God, that looked so bad, didn’t it, like a drug deal or something.” Shit. Don’t say anything, just drive back to the hotel, hope for a clean fuck, and drive him home.]

Did that happen? No. By the time he got his shorts off he started having epileptic tremors and said, “I hate to ask, but could you take me home?”

*sigh*

After I got back, lubed myself back up and resumed the position, my very next email was from a young Top who asked only: “r u generous?”

~fume~

I informed him that I was the one offering the service here, that I had no trouble whatever getting bred frequently for free, and that the reason for this is that I am, in fact, very generous - with my ass. He did not accept my generous offer to try it for himself.

About an hour later, I got a follow-up CL message from a guy who had expressed interest earlier in the evening. He said, “Can you call me an uber?”

I came veeeery close to replying, “You’re an uber.” But it was time to head to the bathhouse, so I just said screw it, closed up shop and left for happier fucking grounds.

What’s the most unreasonable - or just looniest - thing a guy has asked you for on a hookup? I can’t be the only one who gets these nutjobs...

I loved your story, really made me laugh. Your writing skills are very good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In my university town, I get a lot of younger guys (18-22) that will get into some hot chat on Grindr and say they want my load...then when we get to the when/where it comes down to the facts that they don't have a car and can't host.  I've learned my lesson a couple times now that it's not worth driving to them, picking them up, and bringing them back to my place.  The few times I've done that, the sex ended up taking less time than the driving to/from...and it wasn't very good either.  Once, I drove over to an apartment complex at 2am only to sit there in my car for 20 minutes with the guy never coming out...I could tell he was there, from the location on Grindr, but he eventually went offline.  Later he said he had been drunk and passed out...whatever. 

I haven't gotten any requests to call anyone an uber, though...then again, I don't know that uber is big around here either. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a thick-dicked top want to breed me. His ad said "bring over a couple of beers, and I'll drink them while I fuck you."

Based on the size of cock in the ad, I was willing to give hookup a chance and pick up a couple of beers, but when I asked him how many and what type, he said he wanted a case/suitcase of Busch.

Yeah ... needless to say, we didn't hook up.

Edited by rawloadstaken
Remove wording that could be misconstrued
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Similar Content

    • By Bb4allloads
      Face down ass up what more can u ask for ooo am sloppy hole to use and have me ur way rough raw and loaded slutted location u ask come some of y’all should know n others will figure it out 
    • By Bb4allloads
      Cum by push open door knights inn 5116 ha hwy 85 forest park z153 find me face down ass up n breed away neg4poz no loads refused party with me n hav fun life too short not too 6468085567 
    • By tp4u52
      Smooth tight and clean  ass here looking to get breed and cum filled anonymously.  Looking for darkroom place with no face to face contact. No words needed. I get there, pull my pants down, bend and let you to slide your cock inside to ride me as hard as you want. thick 9+ cocks and heavy cummers a plus.  DD free here looking the same.
      tp4u52 at gmail
       
       

    • By SlimSlut
      Cumdump pig hosting tomorrow at lights out at Steamworks and then at Hotel Versey nearby. Looking for horny guys to come and fill me up. No PNP. Only poppers. 


    • By Need2submit
      Part 1.
       
        It was a Saturday on Market Street when I rambled through the crowd into the small shop where I worked.  When the bell on that door clanged, it was like stepping back at least 60 years when your foot firmly planted on the well worn warehouse wood floor and the mixed scents of the tobacco took over from the now almost sterile air of the street.  I worked in what was a true anachronism in these health obsessed days—an actual tobacconist.  In here there was a safe haven for the last of the smokers.  In here, you could feel free to take a deep draw on the smoke of your choice and there wasn’t a stink-eye in the place.  Well, unless you were stupid and green and just wanted a pack of Marlboro Ultra Lites because “I only smoke when I drink!”
           That line was always delivered in exactly the same way: a flourish, a giggle, and a twenty dangled offhandedly at you, never toward you.  For those, you banged out the transaction on the register and tossed the change at the counter, never toward them.  Assholes can sweep up their change.
          It was moments like this, and chasing off the dead eyed bro-stoners in their year-round cargo shorts and teva sandals who touristed the hell out of the pipe selection, always trying slyly to prize out a secret stash of glass pipes.  “Head shop is six blocks over,” and a distinct nod at the front door to demonstrate we were at the end of our interaction.  
           “How are things tonight, Mick?” I asked as I passed my buddy behind the counter and made my way back to the barbers chairs set strategically in front of the walk in humidor.
          “Calm before the storm,” Mick laughed.  The streets outside were packed tonight, maybe a little more than usual, with a different flavor to the air than usual as well.  “They’re having some sort of Leather something or other up at The Hammer and Anvil tonight.  Probably gonna be some interesting folks in, I’ve already seen some assless chaps and they look like they mean business,” Mick laughed around his ever present cigar.  I felt myself flush a little, some tightness developed in my jeans as I tossed that image around in my head.  I sat down in the well worn leather of the barber chair and crossed my legs to adjust the growing discomfort downstairs.  
          I had recently come through my divorce.  It had been a bitch of a time, but I dealt with it like any sane individual.  Namely I drank way too much and made as many bad choices as I could possibly access.  The drinking was now mostly back in check.  Mostly.  The other choices, well, I was beginning to see them as not so bad as I got further into them.  
          As I reclined back in the chair, still getting harder, the thoughts of those assless chaps were banging hard inside my head.  Right before the divorce, when things were getting out of hand, I escaped to the seedier side of town and the adult bookstore that dimly glowed like a vaguely Pizza Hut shaped pimple is the center of a large parking lot.  When I was younger, it was a taste of real rebellion.  Getting ankle deep in porn when there was no internet to pump it directly into your skull was a real buzz.  It smelled like danger and it had those doors to the back rooms and the video booths.  At that time I never had the stones to venture back and explore.  Just picked out a Hustler and maybe a Barely Legal to jack to.  But my eyes, and my mind, always were magnetically drawn to those dark entrances.  I could never shake that.
          So, with the marriage heading south and a head full of lager, finally I ventured back.  Got my tokens at the register and in to the unknown I did dive.  Quickly I took a dim walk around the maze of booths to figure out what to do.  It was pretty self explanatory so, without making eye contact with the ten or so guys loitering around, I slid into a booth.  After dropping my tokens, the TV behind the plexiglass began to blast my eyes.  As my pupils finally constricted enough, I saw the channel was on gay porn.  I went to switch it, but the switch was in about the shape you’d imagine it to be.  So I was watching one guy do an absolutely miraculous blowjob on another guy who clearly had a special effect for a cock.  It was mesmerizing and my own cock immediately leapt to attention.  I undid my jeans and yanked it free from my boxers and started the five finger shuffle.
          Just then, a note skittered under the door, ricocheting a bit off the sole of my shoe.  I dipped down to see what it was and, unfolded it said three simple words: “suck your dick?”
           I broke into a cold sweat immediately.  I’d never been anywhere near this kind of action but goddamn I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked right now.  I slipped the bolt and the door popped immediately open and in slid a guy who was pretty much the trashiest guy I’d ever seen.  He had a trucker hat on and a grey sweatshirt and bam, he was on my cock.  No words, no eye contact, no nothing but my cock in his mouth and he worked it like there was some kind of cure buried inside my balls.  And the weirdness made me even harder.  As hard as I’d ever been.  He sucked and tongued and licked and sucked again so hard I thought he was going to give me a full dick hickey.  As lost as I was, I had zero control and after about three minutes total I unloaded like a fire hydrant that just took a direct hit from a truck.  He sucked it all in really quickly, then he turned his head and spit it right on the floor and then, poof, out the door he went.
          There I was, some cum still dripping off my cock along with plenty of saliva, and I was both grossed out and completely hooked.  It was a pump of weird adrenaline that I knew I needed to keep feeling.  But for now I had to get the hell out before I passed out from the sensory overload.

Other #BBBH Sites…

×