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ErosWired

“Can you call me an uber?” And other unreasonable requests

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A couple of weekends ago, I’m lying ass-up in a hotel room fielding responses from my BBRTS, A4A and CL ads, and I get a bite.

”I’m so glad to finally find someone on CL who isn’t going to flake,” he says. “I’ll be over as soon as I hear about a car. My mom has ours tonight.” [Uh-oh. And according to what he’s told me, he’s 30.] “The guy with the car didn’t come through :( I guess I can’t come” [Oh, what the hell, he’s like three minutes away; I offer to go get him for the sake of the fuck.] “I don’t know...I guess that could work...” [I pick him up.] “Would you mind stopping by my friend’s house? He picked up my epilepsy medication for me.” [Bloody hell. God only knows what he’s picking up. This is underscored when he gets back in the car and says, “Oh my God, that looked so bad, didn’t it, like a drug deal or something.” Shit. Don’t say anything, just drive back to the hotel, hope for a clean fuck, and drive him home.]

Did that happen? No. By the time he got his shorts off he started having epileptic tremors and said, “I hate to ask, but could you take me home?”

*sigh*

After I got back, lubed myself back up and resumed the position, my very next email was from a young Top who asked only: “r u generous?”

~fume~

I informed him that I was the one offering the service here, that I had no trouble whatever getting bred frequently for free, and that the reason for this is that I am, in fact, very generous - with my ass. He did not accept my generous offer to try it for himself.

About an hour later, I got a follow-up CL message from a guy who had expressed interest earlier in the evening. He said, “Can you call me an uber?”

I came veeeery close to replying, “You’re an uber.” But it was time to head to the bathhouse, so I just said screw it, closed up shop and left for happier fucking grounds.

What’s the most unreasonable - or just looniest - thing a guy has asked you for on a hookup? I can’t be the only one who gets these nutjobs...

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Damn! I’m not sure if I still would have been in the mood after all that. I’m guessing next time, you’re going to hit the baths by the time the first flake emerges. 

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More of an unter, nothing "uber" about that guy.

Hook up sites can really be an exercise in insanity sometimes.  There's a certain percentage of immature, irresponsible, and just plain crazy guys on hook up sites, and it's a role of the dice who will respond to an ad. There's also lots of awesome Men too (well, i pretty much think all men are awesome, even those that make life challenging, i can't help it, i just love guys).  

Had Grindr on yesterday late afternoon/evening. One guy contacts me and wants a bj after a karate class. He got lost and was about an hour and a half late, but kept talking to me and i was able to talk him in. He had an enormous load, had to pause to swallow. wishing it was in my ass. Another guy contacted me while i was talking this guy in and wanted to cum after he was done.  I contacted him back, he asked for address, which i gave, and he disappeared. This is a common flake that is the most frustrating, talking a good line and then just dropping off the face of the earth. I sent "how long", then a question mark, nothing. Then two hours later he responds, "you still want me to come over." Fuck. I asked him: "where'd you go" and he responded: "personal stuff."  The excuses are always the lamest part, if you even get one, these are the same guys whose dog ate their homework. 

I do love the ass up, anonymous walk in scene, but have done it less and less because of the number of unreliable guys on hook up sites. FB's work well for that, and thank goodness for them. Otherwise, i just end up at the ABS where i almost always get a minimum of 5-6 loads.

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One guy was kept on about how I must want to go into business with him. 
Not often lost for words. How to say politely that even if I was, one hour into an anon,  2am bb fuck meet maybe not the best moment… .

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@gwmxyz - Maybe, maybe not... Was he offering to whore you out? I would have given such a business offer my undivided attention.

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I get tired of the guys wanting me to call/text them after the second message.  The other day I was chatting with a guy on Adam, chatted a few times with him, and he wanted me to call him yada yada.  Wasn't really in the mood, I was ready for bed LOL.  So I call him and it goes straight to voicemail.  I mean seriously?  If you want to chat on the phone fucking turn it on, and answer it.  I messaged him that I tried, didn't hear back, so I went to bed.

That happened Thursday, today I wake up and he messaged me asking why I didn't call him back right away.  Pissed me off, I told him off.  

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About eight years ago what I thought was a hot younger vers top black man turned out to be a total bottom that once we were done with our "experience" asked me to pay for a cab back to town (live 18 miles south of a city).  He had just enough cash for the taxi ride down but no money to get back).  Let's just say that was the one and only time with that guy.

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On 3/16/2018 at 4:07 PM, ErosWired said:

A couple of weekends ago, I’m lying ass-up in a hotel room fielding responses from my BBRTS, A4A and CL ads, and I get a bite.

”I’m so glad to finally find someone on CL who isn’t going to flake,” he says. “I’ll be over as soon as I hear about a car. My mom has ours tonight.” [Uh-oh. And according to what he’s told me, he’s 30.] “The guy with the car didn’t come through :( I guess I can’t come” [Oh, what the hell, he’s like three minutes away; I offer to go get him for the sake of the fuck.] “I don’t know...I guess that could work...” [I pick him up.] “Would you mind stopping by my friend’s house? He picked up my epilepsy medication for me.” [Bloody hell. God only knows what he’s picking up. This is underscored when he gets back in the car and says, “Oh my God, that looked so bad, didn’t it, like a drug deal or something.” Shit. Don’t say anything, just drive back to the hotel, hope for a clean fuck, and drive him home.]

Did that happen? No. By the time he got his shorts off he started having epileptic tremors and said, “I hate to ask, but could you take me home?”

*sigh*

After I got back, lubed myself back up and resumed the position, my very next email was from a young Top who asked only: “r u generous?”

~fume~

I informed him that I was the one offering the service here, that I had no trouble whatever getting bred frequently for free, and that the reason for this is that I am, in fact, very generous - with my ass. He did not accept my generous offer to try it for himself.

About an hour later, I got a follow-up CL message from a guy who had expressed interest earlier in the evening. He said, “Can you call me an uber?”

I came veeeery close to replying, “You’re an uber.” But it was time to head to the bathhouse, so I just said screw it, closed up shop and left for happier fucking grounds.

What’s the most unreasonable - or just looniest - thing a guy has asked you for on a hookup? I can’t be the only one who gets these nutjobs...

I loved your story, really made me laugh. Your writing skills are very good.

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In my university town, I get a lot of younger guys (18-22) that will get into some hot chat on Grindr and say they want my load...then when we get to the when/where it comes down to the facts that they don't have a car and can't host.  I've learned my lesson a couple times now that it's not worth driving to them, picking them up, and bringing them back to my place.  The few times I've done that, the sex ended up taking less time than the driving to/from...and it wasn't very good either.  Once, I drove over to an apartment complex at 2am only to sit there in my car for 20 minutes with the guy never coming out...I could tell he was there, from the location on Grindr, but he eventually went offline.  Later he said he had been drunk and passed out...whatever. 

I haven't gotten any requests to call anyone an uber, though...then again, I don't know that uber is big around here either. 

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I had a thick-dicked top want to breed me. His ad said "bring over a couple of beers, and I'll drink them while I fuck you."

Based on the size of cock in the ad, I was willing to give hookup a chance and pick up a couple of beers, but when I asked him how many and what type, he said he wanted a case/suitcase of Busch.

Yeah ... needless to say, we didn't hook up.

Edited by rawloadstaken
Remove wording that could be misconstrued
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