For those who were around in the 1980s

[concerned1]

I always think what a terrifying and absolutely frightening time that decade must have been to be living as a gay man (because of AIDS before the introduction of antiretrovirals). For those who lived through that decade as sexually active gay men - was it scary?

[Guest FinalDL2021]

Yes it was, and that is why I am off to such a late start, I was in High school in the early 80's, and even though I was having sexual fantasies about other men, and gay sex, I held off until I was in my early 20's due to the fear of AIDS. what I started to gradually learn, and experience, was all those intense emotions; fear, anxiety, and being very sexually turned on, was the ultimate rush. I have now gone 180 degrees in the opposite direction. I started barebacking,  and I am now eagerly anticipating my first toxic load, all within those 28 years. its Mind-blowing the direction things have gone.

[drscorpio]

I was lucky to get a few years of sex before we started hearing about AIDS.

It was really scary before HIV tests were readily available; all you knew was you hadn't gotten sick yet. 

I was such a condom nazi in the mid-late 80s. Whenever anyone would tell me they had slipped up and fucked without one, I would be totally freaked out. I was very sexually active though. I am sure I got stealthed a few times because I never thought to reach back and check. In retrospect, I am certain I was one time. 

But by about 1990, people were starting to get condom fatigue. I resisted going bare, but a smooth-talking, well-hung top who could rim like a champ eventually got in me bare. Once I remembered how good it felt, I couldn't go back to rubber. Over a period of 3-4 years in the early 90s, I went from always-use-a-condom to if-you-want-to-use-one to you-don't-have-to-use-one to bareback. 

 

[rawsatyr]

2 hours ago, drscorpio said:

I was lucky to get a few years of sex before we started hearing about AIDS.

It was really scary before HIV tests were readily available; all you knew was you hadn't gotten sick yet. 

I was such a condom nazi in the mid-late 80s. Whenever anyone would tell me they had slipped up and fucked without one, I would be totally freaked out. I was very sexually active though. I am sure I got stealthed a few times because I never thought to reach back and check. In retrospect, I am certain I was one time. 

But by about 1990, people were starting to get condom fatigue. I resisted going bare, but a smooth-talking, well-hung top who could rim like a champ eventually got in me bare. Once I remembered how good it felt, I couldn't go back to rubber. Over a period of 3-4 years in the early 90s, I went from always-use-a-condom to if-you-want-to-use-one to you-don't-have-to-use-one to bareback. 

 

I can relate to all that on several levels. I withdrew into being a virtual hermit in my delusion of 'safety in monogamy'. Two relationships, hastily cobbled into place with superficial qualifications: you know good looks and nice ass and dick! In between so many HOT fuckers (in the 1990s) approached me with their RAW AMBITIONS I just freaked and high-tailed! Or endured a semi-sexual session with those damn rubbers on; it was SEMI-SEX, QUASI-SEX the DIET Coke of sex... you get the drift! The rubber reminded me every time that this was all a farce of sexual passion! 'Hope that thing won't tear!' Back to the SAFETY of an INSTANT BF to have bareback sex with! Take my chances here and hope it works out ok! Well then you find out that cheating by the other can quickly mess your equation up... two miserable long-term relationships and three short-time dysfunction messes, all to escape the fear of promiscuous sex and the scarlet letters HIV!

I WISHED I had discovered the bareback underground a few years sooner, well maybe a decade earlier but it wasn't until about 2010 that I learned that my innocent twink BF had gifted me... that should have been the day I became a whore but instead I withdrew and became antisocial. Coming out AGAIN, this time as a self-assured, poz barebacker didn't happen really until 2015... now I'm searching out guys who were trying to do me raw and I later found out were POZ. I was afraid of them! Now I'm like on a mission of repentance, making up for my aloof prudishness. Saw one of those guys BY CHANCE in traffic a few days ago. he pulled over and talked to me. I was as forward and inviting as I could be. Told Tommy "Hey how about we hook up some time and you bareback me! Top me instead of the other way around... would only be fair, after all this time!"

Just today a hot guy texted me (initially a grindr lead) said he wanted to hook up. I came to the bareback part pretty quick and he was aghast said: "That is DANGEROUS. I want to stay negative!" Well you go boy and find yourself some rubber-sex elsewhere. He also wanted my BF in the 3-way so I told him (less than an hour ago: "Told my BF about the 3-way thing and he was NOT INTO IT!" So I was off the hook without spilling 'the beans'.

Another scenario was a few days ago when I suggested to this couple that we love it raw (you know: hit-and-miss odds it will fly) Dude quickly came back with those 1990s fears: "Oh no! My BF and I lost a lot of friends back in the days! We ONLY do SAFE!" And then he added: "What's the big deal? It's just a little latex between us!" Well, guess what? I have been there, done that, now I'm strictly bareback with all its potential consequences and the TOTAL EXHILARATING HIGHS that I prefer to experience! Condom-sex simply doesn't do anything for me any more!

To be honest; all those poz survivors of the 'dark ages' who kept themselves fit and healthy have become a real 'PRIZE' but just haven't met very many of them...