Is it frustrating being a top with a big cock?

[Guest nelly26]

11 hours ago, NLbear said:

I know bottoms (I am one) would ask themselves what the problem is being a top with a huge dick. Aren't you a lucky one and why complain? But I have one buddy who is huge ( a thick 9.5") and since I have known him he had several relationships collapse because at one point his bf(s) said they didn't want to get fucked by him anymore because his cock is too big. I couldn't believe it at first but maybe if you get that thing in your ass on a daily basis or several times a week you've had enough at one point. Don't think I would but who knows? I am not his bf who has to take it so often. He comes to me after yet another break-up (he is -usually- monogamous in a relationship so I don't see him that often, but he was over again recently) because he knows I can take it. I too sometimes think he shouldn't complain, plenty of gay men would love to be hung like him. On the other hand I feel for him because being so big apparently affects his love life.

Having said that, at the end of the day how many men with a big dick would trade it for a small(er) one?

If several relationships have collapsed because of this, I think it's your friends fault. He doesn't prioritize his need to find a man that is truly comfortable with his size. I visit some other forums like r/bigdickproblems (which I don't even know if the stories posted there are real or not similar to this website) but it seems that a lot of men when looking for a partner, do not prioritize what they need from said partners and aren't up front with it.  I think a lot of guys see someone attractive or someone with a great personality and they think a relationship will build from this, but did they really prioritize what they need?  For example, I might meet a guy who a find very attractive, we have great chemistry, get along fine, but if we're both bottoms I can't and refuse to pursue anything - sexual compatibility is one of my top priorities.  If it's him vs. a guy who I don't find as attractive and maybe we disagree on a number of things but he is a total top, then I'm going with him.  

[Barebackbottomno]

From a bottom's perspective and having experienced many well endowed tops, I find technique (both top's and bottom's) has a significant effect on tolerating large cocks.  Large tops who are very aggressive in their technique; i.e., those who look for maximum penetration, pile driving, jack rabbit, or any combination thereof can be a turn off for a bottom.  Bottom's who are inexperienced in handling well endowment can also be the issue.  Communication and compromise in technique between partners is essential.  

In a relationship compromise is an important factor in a successful partnership.  An aggressive hung top and an inexperienced size queen are usually a recipe for disaster,  for the bottom as well as the relationship.  

Before entering into a relationship, both partners should realize what comparability issues exist and resolve those issues before going further.  Yes, cock size and hole capacity are both comparability issues.

One time hookups, anonymous hookups, etc., also require communication and compromise between partners for a successful, erotic and hopefully repeatable encounters.   Unfortunately this doesn't usually happen.

An 11 inch thick top with a technique designed to please his bottom is better than a 9 inch thick top who is only looking for his pleasure and wrecking the bottom's hole.

Some relationships, a bottom is not just a "hole".

Edited August 18, 2019 by Barebackbottomno

[tallslenderguy]

i've got a decent sized cock 7.5 on a good day, but with girth.  Doesn't really matter since i'm no longer married and i'm bottom. 

When i was younger and comparatively inexperienced at getting fucked, there was a guy at a regular cruising spot who was enormous. The biggest cock i have ever encountered in person. i took him, but it was work. i'm guessing he had to be 11" and lots of girth, and i didn't take him with abandon, so i look back with disappoinment with myself. 

Now my hole has been changed and can take cocks as delivered... usually. There was one Guy who wasn't overly long, but the diameter was extraordinary.  The first time, i took Him, but wasn't prepared mentally. Even though He came, i didn't feel like He had me totally.  He would contact me fairly frequently and i had to overcome my fear, but honestly, i loved Him so that wasn't emotionally hard, just practically. Mostly it was about getting in, once relaxed, i'm okay, but He'd get in and start fucking before i would get relaxed. i learned to open my hole ahead of time so i could better aline with His timing. His cock was so big around that He'd always leave me in a puddle of my own prostate juices, He'd literally fuck it out of me. It was always hard work, but i  came to love Him, His energy, so much that i couldn't refuse. i miss him, He's on the east coast and i on the west. i imagine if we still lived near each other, my hole would now be more fitting for Him. i wouldn't see that as a "wrecked" hole, but a fixed hole. my hole is a lot more fixed today than it was when i started out,  so i want to think it's made (by Tops) to accommodate (hopefully) any cock. 

[hungry_hole]

Does something like Pjur Back Door help with big cocks?

[Ozpig]

On 7/14/2018 at 10:31 PM, thkpc said:

It is frustrating.  A lot of bottoms over estimate their abilities, especially the young ones.  About 60% of my prospects head for the exit once they grab ahold.  It's not so much about the length by the girth.

wwow - as a bottom girth is everything. I love being dp'd so girth is one of my great enjoyments

[Seasilver]

My thoughts on this is as follows. I used to be a top because when I bottomed it did not feel good and in fact it kind of hurt. Most of the men who topped me was small to average. Then I hooked back up with now my husband who is hung he taught me how to relax and that taking a big or a huge dick to me is a lot more enjoyable then a small one that just pokes you. Just my thought give me big to massive please

[dirtyarizona]

I'm pretty sure being a Top with a small cock would be infinitely more frustrating!

[bbzh]

Reading all the posts here, it seems like taking big dicks is about experience, communication and expectations.

Experience: Bottoms who are serious about taking big dicks should probably invest in a decent sized dildo to practice on and some poppers.

Communication: I think tops need to get bottoms mentally ready for a big dick by reminding bottoms they are bigger than average. And tops know if they are hung based on how previous partners have reacted to their dicks!!!

Expectation: I think well-endowed tops should be patient when entering a hole. I know a couple of very hung tops that I won't let fuck me on a regular basis because they literally feel that once they are inside me that I have to submit to being plowed - even if it hurts me. Just because I am the bottom, it doesn't mean I want to be in pain or that I am not an equal partner during the sex act. And it's a sex act - not a sexual assault. 

I am getting regularly fucked by a well-endowed guy now. Because we're fucking often, my hole has "learned" the curve of his dick. I don't even need much lube. It is some of the hottest sex I've ever had. 

[find91]

17 hours ago, dirtyarizona said:

 

 

7 hours ago, bbzh said:

Reading all the posts here, it seems like taking big dicks is about experience, communication and expectations.

Experience: Bottoms who are serious about taking big dicks should probably invest in a decent sized dildo to practice on and some poppers.

Communication: I think tops need to get bottoms mentally ready for a big dick by reminding bottoms they are bigger than average. And tops know if they are hung based on how previous partners have reacted to their dicks!!!

Expectation: I think well-endowed tops should be patient when entering a hole. I know a couple of very hung tops that I won't let fuck me on a regular basis because they literally feel that once they are inside me that I have to submit to being plowed - even if it hurts me. Just because I am the bottom, it doesn't mean I want to be in pain or that I am not an equal partner during the sex act. And it's a sex act - not a sexual assault. 

I am getting regularly fucked by a well-endowed guy now. Because we're fucking often, my hole has "learned" the curve of his dick. I don't even need much lube. It is some of the hottest sex I've ever had. 

Great point. The real problem is bottoms that are lazy and expect a top to make them able to take big dick without pain and tops that think busting up a hole and making a bottom bleed makes them a good top.

[find91]

17 hours ago, dirtyarizona said:

I'm pretty sure being a Top with a small cock would be infinitely more frustrating!

Not always it's about the same. Small dick tops bad for hookups great for relationships

Big dick top great for hookups bad for relationships. 

If you got a big dick and don't mind being treated and used like a dildo instead of a human being than. Then life will be fine. If you actually have a mind and personality it's frustrating. Most people negate our problems as if it's nothing and when we do speak out, people just think you are trying to show off.

[find91]

Big dick problems is similar to the problems girls with big boobs have. Minus the back problems lol

[tallslenderguy]

4 minutes ago, find91 said:

If you got a big dick and don't mind being treated and used like a dildo instead of a human being than. Then life will be fine. If you actually have a mind and personality it's frustrating. Most people negate our problems as if it's nothing and when we do speak out, people just think you are trying to show off.

While i'm grateful to be a guy and sex is as a gay guy is comparatively easy to get (compared to straight), i do think we miss out if we ignore the emotional and mental side of sex.  That's easy to do with hook up sex.  For me, quality sex twice a week beats quantity sex every day.  i don't think one can have that if their partner is only a hole or a cock to them.  i've been fucked by a guys finger or a dildo and He was so connected to what He was doing, that i was thoroughly connecting with Him.  i always try to engage a guys mind and emotions before i even hook with him, but many guys don't want that.

To me, once you've experienced mind fuck, there is no going back. For me, sex is all about connecting with another guy, the more we connect emotionally, mentally and physically , the better.  To me, sex without the mental and emotional connection is getting close to sex with a condom. 

[AznslutSF]

8 hours ago, bbzh said:

Reading all the posts here, it seems like taking big dicks is about experience, communication and expectations.

Experience: Bottoms who are serious about taking big dicks should probably invest in a decent sized dildo to practice on and some poppers.

Communication: I think tops need to get bottoms mentally ready for a big dick by reminding bottoms they are bigger than average. And tops know if they are hung based on how previous partners have reacted to their dicks!!!

Expectation: I think well-endowed tops should be patient when entering a hole. I know a couple of very hung tops that I won't let fuck me on a regular basis because they literally feel that once they are inside me that I have to submit to being plowed - even if it hurts me. Just because I am the bottom, it doesn't mean I want to be in pain or that I am not an equal partner during the sex act. And it's a sex act - not a sexual assault. 

I am getting regularly fucked by a well-endowed guy now. Because we're fucking often, my hole has "learned" the curve of his dick. I don't even need much lube. It is some of the hottest sex I've ever had. 

Couldn’t agree more.  It’s all about communication.  Though I know this one top who does not want me to practice with my dildo which I find interesting.

[damsonffpig]

1 hour ago, find91 said:

 

Great point. The real problem is bottoms that are lazy and expect a top to make them able to take big dick without pain and tops that think busting up a hole and making a bottom bleed makes them a good top.

Totally agree find91, the bottom needs to do the work and ensure its a pleasure for the Top to use their accommodating hole by working on your own hole and making sure its open and ready for the biggest BB cock. Having experienced guys telling me I was too big when i was topping, I made sure i was prepared for the biggest, following great advice from an an experienced top when I was about eighteen........

[Sunovabesh]

On 8/18/2019 at 12:05 PM, find91 said:

Yes it's not all a bed or roses. You actually get rejected a lot, from people that can't handle your size. Also in relationship you have to content with less frequent sex because ( I've been told this by both guys and girls) they need time to "heal". I've even been dumped buy a few women and a fuck buddy because they said it hurt to much even when I was gentle with them. Also you tend to not know if people actually like u for u or the fact you have a big dick. Vanilla bottoms always complain about having a blown out hole after u fuck them but they still run after big dick. You get a lot of offers for sex, but the ones that actually Carry though or are capable are few.

Welp,