I should be Scared... but I'm HOT!

[Guest BBBoyfromTN]

You're not at all insane, its a common feeling among guys who poz. At first I was in shock and figured my sex life was over but I was still as fucking horny as ever. I wanted to fuck worse than I ever had but was terrified at first of giving it to someone. So I kept bottoming and trying to decide what to do. I wasn't ready, willing, or able to go to doctor and get a proper diagnosis and honestly still haven't (tested poz with Oraquick multiple times). I mean, I suppose in theory I may be neg still and I'm totally asymptomatic and feel great. I went into group talk therapy for guys who tested poz and it helped. I kept getting hit on by guys who wanted me to fuck them and who didn't ask my status and just wanted bareback. Finally I gave in a fucked a couple of them. I kind of felt guilty, but you know what? It's on them. They should ask the questions. But then again for all I know they could be on Prep and don't care. I've had a lot of buds go on Prep just so they can bareback and not give a shit. I started fucking more and more and my anxiety and fears faded away. Now I bareback fuck guys all the time and feel no guilt. Not everyone does.

I'm like you. I know at some point I'll probably stop being asymptomatic and will need to go on drugs. I've made my piece with that. I'll probably still keep fucking whether I'm on meds and undectable or detectable. I'm not all top or all bottom...I'm fully verse. But I did find after pozzing I do like to top more.

[Kayne]

5 hours ago, BBBoyfromTN said:

You're not at all insane, its a common feeling among guys who poz. At first I was in shock and figured my sex life was over but I was still as fucking horny as ever. I wanted to fuck worse than I ever had but was terrified at first of giving it to someone. So I kept bottoming and trying to decide what to do. I wasn't ready, willing, or able to go to doctor and get a proper diagnosis and honestly still haven't (tested poz with Oraquick multiple times). I mean, I suppose in theory I may be neg still and I'm totally asymptomatic and feel great. I went into group talk therapy for guys who tested poz and it helped. I kept getting hit on by guys who wanted me to fuck them and who didn't ask my status and just wanted bareback. Finally I gave in a fucked a couple of them. I kind of felt guilty, but you know what? It's on them. They should ask the questions. But then again for all I know they could be on Prep and don't care. I've had a lot of buds go on Prep just so they can bareback and not give a shit. I started fucking more and more and my anxiety and fears faded away. Now I bareback fuck guys all the time and feel no guilt. Not everyone does.

I'm like you. I know at some point I'll probably stop being asymptomatic and will need to go on drugs. I've made my piece with that. I'll probably still keep fucking whether I'm on meds and undectable or detectable. I'm not all top or all bottom...I'm fully verse. But I did find after pozzing I do like to top more.

I've always been a  complete switch. The old man taught me well. but from the first guy that begged to breed him raw and be verbal about pozzing him (I wasnt poz at the time) to the 18 year old I just screwed in s subway t room. I just cant get enough

[leatherpunk16]

I posted this in another topic, but I think it's relevant here, too.

It has crossed my mind that if I took one of those quick tests at a bathhouse - because sometimes places like Steamworks offers a testing night - and got a poz result, I would instantly go and do what I can to charge up the house. Take it out on the world. THAT kind of behavior might be considered insane. I think part of it is the primal need to "spread it around", and we men are genetically programmed to do just that. With a poz status, some of us are just amplified. Others are not, and wish to keep it to themselves by getting on the medications straight away.

Not all of us are like Kefka, and say "What fun is destruction if no precious lives are lost?".

 

[Kayne]

1 hour ago, leatherpunk16 said:

I posted this in another topic, but I think it's relevant here, too.

It has crossed my mind that if I took one of those quick tests at a bathhouse - because sometimes places like Steamworks offers a testing night - and got a poz result, I would instantly go and do what I can to charge up the house. Take it out on the world. THAT kind of behavior might be considered insane. I think part of it is the primal need to "spread it around", and we men are genetically programmed to do just that. With a poz status, some of us are just amplified. Others are not, and wish to keep it to themselves by getting on the medications straight away.

Not all of us are like Kefka, and say "What fun is destruction if no precious lives are lost?".

 

fair point

[Dirtyfuckboy]

On 11/11/2018 at 2:25 PM, leatherpunk16 said:

I posted this in another topic, but I think it's relevant here, too.

It has crossed my mind that if I took one of those quick tests at a bathhouse - because sometimes places like Steamworks offers a testing night - and got a poz result, I would instantly go and do what I can to charge up the house. Take it out on the world. THAT kind of behavior might be considered insane. I think part of it is the primal need to "spread it around", and we men are genetically programmed to do just that. With a poz status, some of us are just amplified. Others are not, and wish to keep it to themselves by getting on the medications straight away.

Not all of us are like Kefka, and say "What fun is destruction if no precious lives are lost?".

 

Completely, it utterly fucked with your head and 'rewires' it in a way. Let the floodgates open and do what nature intended and spread it bro