humiliation

[tallslenderguy]

This is a topic that effects me and, from posts i have read here, seems to effect a lot of guys?  i use the word "humiliation" for lack of a better descriptor, but i think most will get the general idea.  This is a mysterious topic to me. i don't feel like i 'suffer' from issues of self esteem. i don't hate myself or being gay or being bottom.  i don't think i am bad or wrong. Yet, there is something inside of me that responds with a response close to adoration when a Top exercises a kind of affectionate, matter of fact humiliation on me. It feels powerfully affirming-which i find paradoxical, and it is one of the deeper, more vital parts of my sexuality.   i know this is where we'll likely find a lot of variety of response to this, because i know a lot of guys get into "rough" or "bullying," or "force," etc..  All are welcome to discuss their thing, this is not a judgement or attempt to set a standard, but an exploration of the overall topic of humiliation.

What kind of humiliation to you like (if any) and what is it about giving or receiving humiliation that you like?  What are your thoughts and feelings on the topic?

[ErosWired]

I've been giving some thought to this since you posted the topic. These are deep waters. The term "humiliation" carries so many nuances of meaning, carting along concepts of humbling, shame, degradation, loss of status, loss of quality, loss of respect, loss of honor, and so on. Yet do we in this context actually feel humiliated when a Top does something to us or makes us do something humiliating? And if so, why do we claim to enjoy, even crave it?

My greatest gratification in humiliation comes from knowing that other men have witnessed me being used in ways that lower my standing among men, and knowing that the change is permanent - I cannot cause those things to un-happen. Sooooo many eyes have watched other men rut me with their cocks and shoot their semen into and onto my body. Sooooo many eyes have watched other men force my body to give up my intimate orgasm and my cum for nothing more than their salacious amusement. Soooo many eyes have watched my eyes roll back in my head, and my toes splay out in involuntary climax at another man's hand.

I have been bound upright to a device that drove a 12" dildo vertically upward into my ass excruciating slowly, as an impalement - in front of an audience. I have had electricity run from my anus to my cocked and across my balls until my back arched like the St. Louis Arch and my cum erupted past my ear - in front of an audience. An entire audience once played a party game to see how many times they could make me orgasm using a hypnotic trigger. I have had 18 gauge needles run through each of my testicles.

My body has been given to men by other men for their use, and I have had no input. I have been gang-fucked, and I have been fucked by four men rotating ass-to-mouth as each took his turn with me.

I could go on and on.

The point is, while the humiliation gives me the thrill of someone humiliating me, I am not actually humiliated by it. Yes, it's true that I take other men's cocks into my anus and let them pump their fluids into my body. I can't deny it, and I know that in some circles men would consider me a lesser person for it. But I don't feel like a lesser person. If men get the idea that they can treat me this way - good! I want them to see me as one they can turn to to fulfill their needs

I'm not sure if this makes any sense, because I don't know if it even makes any sense to me. I just know that the next time I'm being fucked and I suddenly realize an audience has gathered to watch him fuck me... it'll be bliss all over again.

[tallslenderguy]

4 hours ago, ErosWired said:

 

The point is, while the humiliation gives me the thrill of someone humiliating me, I am not actually humiliated by it. Yes, it's true that I take other men's cocks into my anus and let them pump their fluids into my body. I can't deny it, and I know that in some circles men would consider me a lesser person for it. But I don't feel like a lesser person. If men get the idea that they can treat me this way - good! I want them to see me as one they can turn to to fulfill their needs

I'm not sure if this makes any sense, because I don't know if it even makes any sense to me. I just know that the next time I'm being fucked and I suddenly realize an audience has gathered to watch him fuck me... it'll be bliss all over again.

Thank you for your (as usual) thoughtful reply Eros. 

This makes complete sense to me. i've thought and thought about this topic and reached a similar place.  i too am not sure i completely understand,but believe i reached a better place of understanding when i too connected that "i'm not actually humiliated by it" but "affirmed."   i've come to believe that the contradiction is between socially/culturally imposed standards and reality.  Many consider what and who we are as less than, if not down right 'perverted,' and many of us have been fed this message all our lives.  Some of us have hidden in shame or still keep many of our own desires or needs deeply buried, secret. Then along comes a Top with the complimentary need or desire and, like and proton and electron, we're pulled together by a force we don't understand. For me, it feels like reducting something more profound to explain this in terms of physics, because of the emotional component, i guess?  i feel like the Top also takes a sort of risk when exposing His need and desire and that it is just as affirming to Him to be able to be who He is with another guy.

[JustASub]

For me, the humiliation is an added layer to getting off. It’s one where I have no control and loose myself. 

[ashtx]

I knew all the way back in high school that humiliation and shame were turn-ons. It took some years after that before I was able to accept it and start seeking it out. I don't need it every time I'm with someone, but with the right person, it intensifies the experience like nothing else.