Bareback stigma

[Guest pigchaser]

I can't understand why there is still stigma surrounding barebacking.. Hep A & B and HPV can be prevented through vaccination... HIV can be prevented through taking prep and everything else including Hep C can now be treated.  Why is there still stigma surrounding barebacking??

[cnyrawfukr]

It's kind of funny. I live in a small city and five or so years ago it got around that I was a bareback bottom and hooked up with poz guys. Now all the same people who talked shit are either "undetectable" or on prep and taking poz loads too. Fuck the stigmas, do what you want and let others do the same. 

[tnjon77]

Well, I understand what you're saying and I get it, but I live in the Bible Belt.  The vibe I get is basically "God says it's wrong to fuck other dudes, so he created AIDS to kill you all."  Kind of a fucked of way of thinking, but so be it.

[Guest CuriousDallas]

I think it’s generational as most guys around my age don’t wrap to fuck or get fucked and don’t even ask about it beforehand. I’ve had maybe one or two guys this past week ask about wrapping and one was 30 and the other had a GF. The other guys never asked and when we got down to it went bare...no discussion. I think it’s a mix of sex Ed classes not really talking about gay sex and HIV/AIDS and so many guys being on Prep. For guys my age bare is the norm and there is no stigma about wanting it that way. When I do get bareback-shamed it’s typically older guys doing it. Back in the days of Craigslist I’d get angry emails from guys warning me of the dangers of barebacking. My hunch is they were all over 30.

[justsexnowatl]

I think it depends where in the world (or city) you are.  Here in Atlanta it's totally the norm, and unless a guy's scruff profile says "safe" and "condoms" all over, you both know it's gonna be raw.  I actually find the opposite of bb stigma these days in Atlanta.  The few guys I've encountered that want condoms usually appologize for wanting them when I say I play raw or I won't get hard.  Half the time they end up going raw after all, but the few that don't probably don't get laid much these days lol.  Thanks to trimix I actually WOULD get hard now, but if they still insist on condoms I'll move on to the next......prefer more uninhibited and sleazy guys anyway.  I've had a random few guys even on Prep that DO want condoms - not even for hiv but due to stds.  I kinda get it, but not gonna fuck them.....I'll move on to the next. 

[Read1]

The bareback stigma and condom fatigue has passed a long while ago here in Toronto. I agree with justsexnowatl - bb sex is the norm here in Toronto. Questions about status or STDs aren't asked any more. It's right on to bare sex. Guys crave it. You should be how packed the darkrooms are, and the sounds of hot bb sex in them. There are a few guys here and there that ask for condoms to be used. I move on too.

[Guest]

ANY kind of stigma - e.g., because you fuck bareback, because you have lots of sex, because have sex with men, etc. - has never made any sense to me. Why sacrifice who you are because of what someone else thinks? Unfortunately, the harshest critics of gay men have been other gay men, not religious fanatics.

[skinster]

I think it's in the mindset. Anyone can adhere to it at any given age or time. Prior personal experience may affect it, but in general it's a pendulum motion that with passage of time creates sinusoidal track from one extreme to the opposite. It takes time to shift, amplitudes change too. I am talking about reasonable opinion development, not random chaotic jumps from one thing on to the next. So a random selection of people would not have all sinusoids matching each other, there is randomness. Not to the level of chaos, but randomness nevertheless.

And it's not to the level of stigma of bare sex that I see it now. Much lesser number of people in my experience insist, suggest, use it or walk away from you if no condom is present for sex. Most of those were much younger than me, granted I know I am not the same age as them. Also, I am not seeking out 'safe-only' contacts, so my demographic is tilted. But with getting older the opinion shifts - once you go raw intentionally or by power of suggestion, you have higher chances you won't miss rubbers.

Stigma on the other hand was much more evident in what I remember SF was like in late 90's. AIDS was still hardly retreating on any side. Safe sex ads were plastered on every corner, TV and all. People on the streets in Castro were much less jovial than you would've expected in your imagination. And people were turning quarter-turn away from you on the street if you happen to start talking to them. Hardly any easy smiles from passer-bys. It was so eerie. Even the crowd at the bars was noticeably subdued. May be that was just accidental for me, but very different from New York of the day. 20 odd years on, I still remember it.

What you have now is a new generation and a new understanding. More elaborate information. Condom fatigue like @Read1 has mentioned after years of gay-targeted forced promotion definitely has a place. And people older or with experience making a more aware choice without being force-fed behavior patterns by people who have no part in them. I think those people have also accepted that they hold less authority on the matter, since so many people choose not to grant it to them and do their own thing sexually.

Edited July 14, 2019 by skinster

[Guest descartes70817]

In my experience there's still a lot of educating to be done. I still get a lot of guys who won't even hook up with me because I'm poz even though I'm undetectable. Sometimes guys will allow me to fuck them  bareback but insist I pull out - though usually I'm very slow in doing so when I start cumming if I do pull out at all.

Then again some neg bottoms have educated themselves and take my undetectable load whether they're on PrEP or not.

[LetsPOZBreed]

There's stigma on many factors, but here's my thoughts. Stigma around fucking (or getting fucked bb) has lessened, but I've noticed with myself that I don't get responses from guys on PrEP.  Even though it says very plainly on my profiles that I'm UD, and have been for years.  On the flip side of that, I was with a group of mates recently (non-sexual) and it came up in conversation about our sexual proclivities.  Many were being very condescending about bb and guys who were into it, so even in the advent of PrEP, there's still stigma out there.

[BREEDmeRAW]

9 hours ago, justsexnowatl said:

I think it depends where in the world (or city) you are.  Here in Atlanta it's totally the norm, and unless a guy's scruff profile says "safe" and "condoms" all over, you both know it's gonna be raw.  I actually find the opposite of bb stigma these days in Atlanta.  The few guys I've encountered that want condoms usually appologize for wanting them when I say I play raw or I won't get hard.  Half the time they end up going raw after all, but the few that don't probably don't get laid much these days lol.  Thanks to trimix I actually WOULD get hard now, but if they still insist on condoms I'll move on to the next......prefer more uninhibited and sleazy guys anyway.  I've had a random few guys even on Prep that DO want condoms - not even for hiv but due to stds.  I kinda get it, but not gonna fuck them.....I'll move on to the next. 

Thanks to Atlanta and All Black Men that Never use Condoms for ANY Reason. I found Many Black Men in different cities ALL with the intention to BREEDING that ass. Most don't say a word and the bottom Expects that his hole will be taking Sperm. I found the same with a Prince Albert since the metal can tear a condom. Also Married men who don't use Condoms with their wives and either don't think about it or they Expect to unload in the bottom.

 

[Funtime1967]

10 hours ago, Read1 said:

The bareback stigma and condom fatigue has passed a long while ago here in Toronto. I agree with justsexnowatl - bb sex is the norm here in Toronto. Questions about status or STDs aren't asked any more. It's right on to bare sex. Guys crave it. You should be how packed the darkrooms are, and the sounds of hot bb sex in them. There are a few guys here and there that ask for condoms to be used. I move on too.

It's the same here in Pembroke.  Nobody wants condoms. 

[Loveitraw]

I think a lot of it is perception.  By that I mean in the open, media, public conversation etc the prevalence is that condoms are the norm. 

“Be Safe!” and everyone nods.

In the dark, when couplings take place its often forgotten.  Out of the last 10 hookups I’ve had only one insisted on wrapping up. Maybe that says more about me and the guys I go for but 🤷‍♂️.

 

[everopen1]

I think condoms have moved out of the conversation for the most part.  Men over 35 or so and fmen across all age groups in rural areas still ask for condoms to be used. However I am hearing and reading more and more women looking for poz loads. As an example I was with a boy recently who wanted to be poz because his gf wanted him to poz her.  

[hungbbaddict]

Condom use in my area is almost to zero now. Only a few guys in their 40s still use them. I don’t think most young guys have ever even used them. It’s been amazing to see bareback become the default again and I hope it stays that way. I could never top with one and as a bottom I need that load.