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Bareback: the new routine way of having sex?


concerned1

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I had one single guy top suit up and it wasn't a very hot fuck anyway.  He has reached out for a repeat and I just said no thanks.

The other guy and I talked after he fucked me with a rubber.  We had the 'prep' and U=U discussion.  He has been fucking me raw ever since.  He's married.

Otherwise, no other guys have asked for wrapped.   I travel a lot across Europe and Americas.  All raw fucking.  I love it. 

 

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I live in Budapest, Hungary. So, a country in the middle of Europe. Budapest is the capital and the largest city with lots of tourists. A really multicultural city. There are lively gay life. It was just three years ago when it was obvious the guy used condome. Having sex bareback was just an exceptional opportunity. Now when I went to the sauna or the cruising bar, I don’t meet guys many times who wants to use condome. No question, no discussion. Yesterday had sex with lots of guys. I didn’t count them. I fucked many of them and was fucked. No one used condome and only one asked me if I neg.
 

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The only guys who I encounter who ever want to fuck with rubbers are young, DL guys with girlfriends. They are terrified of bringing anything home to the their girls. Usually, it isn't HIV they are worried about (especially since they will be topping me). They are worried about everything else that might expose them as a cheater. 

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"Bareback: the new routine way of having sex?"

 

i don't think bareback is "the new routine way of having sex," but that sex is returning to normal and natural?  I.e., the "routine" isn't "new."   my feel has always been that Tops, or guys topping, have the need/desire to leave a part of their self, their effect, in someone as part of their drive to Top?  As a bottom, i have a need/drive to have a part of my Top in me it seems as a permanent marker, effect, impartation?  

Condoms block a part of that process, they are unnatural, so i think we all feel something vital missing with condoms, like sex is incomplete.  i think the return to bareback is the return to normal.

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I would say yes, but I’d also say the reasoning is a bit more nuanced that just PrEP being the reason. 
 

There are plenty of studies about condom usage and gay men, and condom usage never went above 50% even at the height of the AIDS crisis.  I’m sure it’s way lower than that now, thanks to PrEP, but I also think sexual habits have been changing.  During the 80’s and 90’s many people just had less full penetrative sex. They would do other activities like masterbation, and oral activities instead.  We also have to look at the rise in social apps and the internet as a way of meeting people. In the 80’s and 90’s many of the old gay bars and cruising spots died off, unfortunately many times with the people that used to frequent them. This left a vacuum in how people could actually meet each other. 
 

This brings us to the early 2010’s. HIV and AIDS was now a pill a day thing to manage, which drastically decreased the scary part of having penetrative sex. At the same time there was easy access to sex apps, and cameras so you could get a feel for someone electronically before you even met them. Because of this many people started to trust people more at an initial meeting rather than just meeting in a dark corner of a bar or park.  Many people did, and still do use this as their method of “staying safe” The mentality of “oh he looks clean, and seems trustworthy so I trust him when he says he’s neg” is very real.  Because of this instead of just doing the oral or masterbation that guys did in decades earlier they often decided to have penetrative sex. Condoms as usual felt awful, so often they wouldn’t be used.

Then PrEP started becoming widespread around 2015.  The stage was already set for a reduction in condom use, PrEP was just more gas on the fire.  
 

Today, as some have noted I do think that some guys still use them just because they hate getting regular STI’s.  Even if you hookup with maybe 12 different guys in a year there is still a decent chance of getting something, even if you don’t know it and don’t have symptoms. I know just in my personal experience however guys who I have played with over the past 6-7 years who almost always used condoms at first, rarely do now. 
 

So yeah, bareback is the norm. But really it’s just natural sex, so it’s kind of always been the norm, even if things were different at certain times.  

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Bareback seems to be the norm. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a top want to use a condom, they almost never get brought up now. When the topic of condoms does come up, the top almost always ends up not using especially when I don’t ask to use one.

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I've only used condoms a handful of times in the thousands of hookups I've had since I started having sex when I was 12 - and even when I lost my virginity, it was raw. I will say that nowadays, it's rare that anyone even mentions condoms or uses them in my encounters. What's interesting is its rarer in younger guys. When someone brings it up, usually they're older, bi or straight guys. 

What's the new bareback these days? Fisting. I've found that more and more guys are getting into it. It's still a niche the same way bareback used to be, but I bet it will become a normal thing in the next couple years the way bareback is seemingly normal now. 

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I have never known anything else but bareback.  That is how it started for me when I was very young.  I didn't even know what a condom was until I was about 15.  Even then, it was all bareback.  Now, the occasional guy wants to use one, but I get them to go bare before we are ever finished.  I always get the load.

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7 minutes ago, DannyBoyCMH said:

I have never known anything else but bareback.  That is how it started for me when I was very young.  I didn't even know what a condom was until I was about 15.  Even then, it was all bareback.  Now, the occasional guy wants to use one, but I get them to go bare before we are ever finished.  I always get the load.

I find that a lot of younger guys - straight and bi guys - regard condoms as necessary for preventing pregnancy. Nothing else.

They almost relish the idea of raw sex with guys. Then again, the young bloke who lives with me is about to have his third kid and reckons he’s had several more aborted; he refuses to use condoms even with his girlfriends. Now he’s decided he’s bi after years of selling his body for money for drugs (since he was 12 or 13 apparently) and no longer needs to have gay sex for drugs, he’s obsessed with getting fucked. Loves it. Since he’s been living with me, he’s been fucking at least 4-5 different blokes a week (plus we have a very active sex life too) and has been the cumdump for at least four orgies.

He loves the idea of getting pozzed and then knocking me up. He says he’s doing it for me but he’s at least as turned on by getting bred with poz cum and then breeding others.

 I think his obsession with breeding- blokes and women - stems from the fact that his dad had him a few weeks after he turned 14 and then had several other kids before he was 18; Tard had his first when he was 13 and had already been getting regularly fucked by older men for years before that.

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On 2/21/2020 at 4:01 PM, concerned1 said:

Are we living in a post-condom age now?

I live in the UK and I hook up with guys for fun very often. Almost every single week. At the very, very least I'll have fun with one guy in a week and it's usually more. And 9 out of 10 will do BB, without even having a discussion about it first. In fact I would say it has been 10 out of 10 doing BB until very recently when a guy I hooked up with insisted on me wearing a condom ... and that was the first time I had ever had anyone even mention "safer sex" to me in many months if not a couple of years. I would definitely say most gay/bi guys in the UK now are doing BB as routine sex, very few are using condoms anymore.

If I meet up with a guy from Grindr, in a bar, in a sex club or in a sauna (bathhouse), I know that I am almost guaranteed to be fucking him BB before we actually start fucking. Most times there is not even any discussion about it.... I don't even need to ask, I just turn them around and stick my cock inside their ass BB and this is how it is with me almost EVERY SINGLE TIME.

How is it elsewhere? I know this is an American site and that most members of this website are from the States, so I want to know how is it for you guys over there? Are most gay/bi guys now back to fucking raw as was the case before HIV started making itself known in the early 1980s? Or do lots of guys over there still use condoms?

I had a holiday relatively recently in Berlin, Germany and I went to a sauna and fucked quite a few guys also NONE of whom asked me to wear a condom.

Are gay men the world over in a post-condom age?

 

Using Grindr The area where i stay is a such a waste of time because far to many guys behind the profiles are blatent time wasters , Pic collectors and simply want to know who you are and surreal fantasists  . It has got to the point i have blocked more guys than i have met . Hardly a soul is ever interested in Casual Sex  .  Fabguys  is the only site i have had more success on even at that it also has it's fair share pretenders . 

And BBRTS  is just as awful you could post a qik connect add and never get a reply If i do the message arrives a day later

Edited by peterdavidson1973
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In my experience in the UK, things started to really change about 4-5 years ago when guys in backrooms just started not using condoms.  Sometimes they would ask if I wanted them to use one.  Only polite, but I always said no.  If topping, I used to ask too; the reply was usually "bare".  Then it changed to I was only going to fuck them bare, and if they argued or were unsure, no fuck.  Now,  guys just don't ask.  It is assumed you go bare.  And some health authorities have cut back on condom supplies to save money so some saunas have cut down on availability.  (Cut down on lube too, which really annoys me!)  But the game changer has been PrEP.

As for the U.S., my experience has been at parties in Palm Springs.  Over the last 4 years or so, it has only been bare.  Certainly if I have been in a sling, the top has fucked me bare, no questions, no options.  And at another party, I was being fucked bare within 5 minutes of arrival and then became the party boy to be fucked by all who fancied.  Good day, that.

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