Submitting, Doing things you truly dont want to do?

[Sub-Cocksucker]

I am extremely submissive with black men, and I have serviced many, last few months I have been servicing one on a very regular basis.
He is all top all dom, loves to use me, degrade me, make me totally submit to him.

He also has many photos and videos of me now, between that and my submissiveness, he has total control over me.
Ive done plenty of things before that dont necessarily turn me on, but lately Im being made to do extreme, degrading things that I really dont want to.

Anyone else have any similar experiences or in a similar situation?
 

[Anonversecuck]

What kind of things are you doing now?

[ErosWired]

Assuming that this isn’t a fantasy and you’re simply looking for similar titillation (it has been known around here) I’ll take your question at face value.

 If this is indeed the case, then these are deep waters, and you have been unwise in  allowing a Dominant - any Dominant - to advance to this level without prearranged and mutually understood and agreed-upon boundaries and limits.

As a submissive, you have a responsibility to yourself to protect yourself from predation by unethical abusers. I fully understand the effect that a Dominant Male can have on a submissive the moment He enters the room - will and determination can melt away like wax in a furnace, and suddenly you’ll do anything for a hint that He’s pleased with you.

The reality is that the relationship may be very one-sided. Without further information it’s hard to guess. Does he bring other men to use you and not participate himself? Has he instructed you to go to a given location to service someone? If others are involved it raises the possibility of something transactional taking place at your expense, and you should extricate yourself from the situation at once. More than one person has found him- or herself trapped in a life of sexual servitude this way.

If the Dom is getting you to do unpleasant things in spite of your expressing that it’s crossing a hard limit, he clearly does not have your best interest at heart. If he is employing blackmail, even by suggestion, or other forms of coercion, his motives are not benign, and again, you must pull away. It could be as simple as him wanting to see how depraved he can make you before he tires of you, or - one dislikes to consider the possibility - he could be ‘grooming’ you for something.

On the other hand, there is the possibility - and you are unclear on this point - that you simply have not clearly expressed to him that you don’t like what you’re doing, and if he knew he might be perfectly willing to stop. You have a role to play, too, in setting your own boundaries, and “But I’m so submissive” isn’t an adequate excuse for not looking after your own interest once you sense that something is wrong.

Having armed him with all the pics and video he has, you may have limited yourself to undesirable options for ending your predicament. The only certain way to defeat a blackmailer is to render the evidence he holds irrelevant, and therefore worthless. In the worst scenario, you may have to simply say, “Do your worst, but I’m done with you.” And be ready to mitigate the consequences that, after all, you yourself allowed to come into being.

There is also the possibility of counteraction, in which you document the abuse in such a way that he would be compromised by its exposure - but that’s a bolder and more dangerous path.

My personal experience has only stood along the edge of this kind of situation, and fortunately there were friendly allies in a position to intervene. Still, the incident taught me caution, and taught me that there are some Dominant Males who genuinely view submissives as toys... or worse. It’s why I’m always asking Tops here whether they really mean what they say about what they think of faggot cumdumps, or they’re just having fun talking. I’m not going to judge them, but as one of those cumdumps, it’s important for me, and submissives like you, to know where we truly stand.

[Close2MyBro]

I think we'd have to hear what he has you doing to give you better advice. If you really don't want to do them because they're detrimental to you then it's probably better you don't and end the relationship. Over the years I've been forced to do a lot of things I didn't wan to do, but  most of the time it's been because they were new to me or I felt others would judge me. I eventually got over that, but I still draw the line on things that are detrimental to me.

[Guest]

Well, if you are a true sub, there will be things you don't want to do but do anyway.  The best way is to have a discussion first about hard limits, and breaking those hard limits would be wrong.  If you don't discuss it or don't name it, you have to accept your role as a sub and that the Dom would do it.  Maybe you learn the hard way the first time, but soon you'll know exactly what you can tell a Dom regarding what you can't do.  

[Bibttmmiami]

Sounds like your Dom is a wanna-be. He likes the idea of dominating someone, but isn’t really an Dom. He’s an abuser. The first thing a real Dom does with you is discuss your limits, hard limits and soft limits. The next thing they do is establish a safe word so you can stop things if you need to. Sometimes things move fast, and in the moment they might do a light scene with you, but if that happens more than once get away. He is dangerous. 

[Ozpig]

Yes with one white male who has been seeing me for a few years now when it suits him - and I just submit. 

[ErosWired]

12 hours ago, Bibttmmiami said:

Sounds like your Dom is a wanna-be. He likes the idea of dominating someone, but isn’t really an Dom. He’s an abuser. The first thing a real Dom does with you is discuss your limits, hard limits and soft limits. The next thing they do is establish a safe word so you can stop things if you need to. Sometimes things move fast, and in the moment they might do a light scene with you, but if that happens more than once get away. He is dangerous. 

Another possibility related to “wannabe” status is that he’s kind of a free-range Dom - he’s motivated by Dominant/submissive relationships but has had no formal introduction to or experience in the BDSM lifestyle, its philosophies, ethics, protocols, standards, best practices, etc. If that turns out to be the case, then there are some quite interesting books on becoming a successful Dominant out there that would no doubt make for stimulating reading..,

[Sub-Cocksucker]

Thanks for the comments and advice.

We talked some about it the other day, first time we have really ever done that,
I think we worked out a bunch of it, mainly like some of you mentioned, setting limits, and expressing what both of us are after.
We were both to blame, hes VERY demanding, and I am so submissive, and was just eventually submitting and doing what I was told.
He knows how much it turns me on that he has that influence and control over me.

The mention of the photos and vids, I think he was doing more for the mind game of it all.
He said hes not out to ruin my life, but that if we are to be a long term thing, I have to realize I am going to be in deep.
He has one fetish in particular that I had the most problem with, he said he gets it, but that its something I really need to eventually do for him, but hes ok with taking it slow and easing me into it, he said with enough time I will eventually be conditioned to love it.

[kinkysuBB]

On 6/6/2020 at 2:36 AM, Sub-Cocksucker said:

Thanks for the comments and advice.

We talked some about it the other day, first time we have really ever done that,
I think we worked out a bunch of it, mainly like some of you mentioned, setting limits, and expressing what both of us are after.
We were both to blame, hes VERY demanding, and I am so submissive, and was just eventually submitting and doing what I was told.
He knows how much it turns me on that he has that influence and control over me.

The mention of the photos and vids, I think he was doing more for the mind game of it all.
He said hes not out to ruin my life, but that if we are to be a long term thing, I have to realize I am going to be in deep.
He has one fetish in particular that I had the most problem with, he said he gets it, but that its something I really need to eventually do for him, but hes ok with taking it slow and easing me into it, he said with enough time I will eventually be conditioned to love it.

This all sounds ok to me. There are definitely things I’m not into that I do if a dom wants me to. I don’t enjoy the acts, but I enjoy how much he enjoys them. My purpose as a sub is to please him and give him pleasure. And it’s perfectly right and natural for him to push my limits, in a controlled way, without going beyond agreed hard limits. I’d be upset if he didn’t.

[ErosWired]

On 6/5/2020 at 8:36 PM, Sub-Cocksucker said:

He has one fetish in particular that I had the most problem with, he said he gets it, but that its something I really need to eventually do for him, but hes ok with taking it slow and easing me into it, he said with enough time I will eventually be conditioned to love it.

My former Master always used to say “Never means you’ll do it within seven sessions.” It occurred to me a little later, while he was pushing needles through my testicles, that he was probably right.