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There's plenty of talk on these boards (and others) about guys who get pozzed and love it, plenty of bravado etc.

I just wondered if there are any on here who, upon getting a poz diagnosis, were genuinely devastated by the news?

Have any of you got any genuine regrets about your actions in the past, and the consequences they have had on your life?

Only curious as i was reading a blog written by a guy i've fucked a few times at the NG2BBGROUP bareback parties I go to... he's early 20's, fit, cute, an avid barebacker, and tested poz about a year ago... in his blog it's clear that whilst he would never have changed bareback for condom sex, his diagnosis was truely devastating for him.

He talks about how he feels about telling his friends and family etc.. it's seriously moving stuff...

It made me wonder, that despite all the bravado from guys who get bugged up, what are those peoples, genuine, real heart felt feelings and emotions on things.

Thoughts? Please share.

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I have a lot of regrets. Life is definetly harder with being poz. How you react to situations is WAY different. I think I stated here before having to be worried that if I get injured and there is blood I have to alert the person to my status. The Daily Meds...the worrying about someone near you having a cold...or how your body will react to anything else that is out there..things like whooping cough could do real damage to me. Now with all that being said I dont know if I could have changed my lifestlye enough to prevent myself from getting Poz'd. I do truly enjoy being bred. There is something erotic about a person pumping there seed deep in you..the feeling of a bare cock sliding in and out of you..but then again..I am kinky that way...it truly is a double edge sword

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I have a lot of regrets. Life is definetly harder with being poz... Now with all that being said I dont know if I could have changed my lifestlye enough to prevent myself from getting Poz'd. I do truly enjoy being bred.

I'm still HIV-neg but I can't imagine myself giving up getting fucked bareback and getting my hole creamed. I love it! And I know that life cannot never be the same after you poz. I would much rather have the chance to bareback withoutr the risk of HIV.

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I suppose barebacking for all thos years was like playing Russian roulette. I love barebacking, however I hate being poz. It sure puts a crimp into my regular life as well as my sex life. As much as people on this site profess to want it: it is no pic nic. About barebacking without risk of HIV: good luck. I thought that I was immune, or that the people I played with would be honest, or know about their status. I did have my eyes opened after I was diagnosed.

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I've been poz since at least 1985, most likely infected between 1979-1983. I don't regret anything I did that led me to getting HIV, though having it has changed my life in more ways that I can count and many of the earlier years pretty awful. By 1995 I'd lost countless friends, fuckbuds, and a husband and fully expected to be dead myself in fairly short order. Protease inhibitor meds managed to stop the deterioration of my immune system (for all they made life miserable in many other ways), and I survived. It does sometimes amaze me the fervor that some men bring to trying to get pozzed. True enough that treatment is easier to live with than in years past, and that with successful treatment a mostly normal lifespan is possible. This presumes that there will always be a steady supply of those meds - something not at all certain in my view.

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I'm actually waiting for my test results now to return from the hospital, and I'm nervous that HIV may be the cause of my doctor's concern. I never taken anyone's load, and I've only let someone attempt to top me raw 2 or 3 times, but I know that all it takes is one contact to cause a problem. I'm scared to death of how to tell my family, and of having to stay with my lame job just keep my insurance to pay for my meds. Hearing the way that your lives have changed should have been enough warning for those of us who still love to play on the dark side... I would love to take someone's load deep inside of me, and maybe let someone else use his left over cum as lube for a second deposit. Being positive would break down those fantasy walls, and may even allow me to bond with someone close enough to form a real relationship. But are those perks enough to sacrafice my health? At this point, its all thats keeping me sane until my results come back...

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Good luck and I hope you get the results that you want. It must be tough waiting. Where do you live that you have to wait so long? Here where i live, you can get results in like 20 mins. Anyway, if it does come back positive, you dont neccessarily have to tell your family if you dont want to. Its your private business, your health and people dont need to know everything about you. I'm sure you will be fine, your life will continue, and whatever the results show, you will deal with it and you will be okay.

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Yngclassic98, I also hope you dodge this particular bullet, and hope also that the health problems that led to your doctor ordering the HIV test are soon to resolve.

Over the years I've often said that the best thing about getting HIV is no longer having to be afraid of getting it. If the results do come back that you're positive, it will be a shock and a difficult adjustment, but not necessarily an utter catastrophe. You will have many options for how to move forward, and many people to call on for advice and information. Please let us know how this turns out.

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None. Like the ancient Chinese philosophers, I believe every crisis is also an opportunity. Being poz has led me to become healthier, more fit and physically and mentally stronger than I knew I could be. Plus, the depraved bareback sex has been fantastic.

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So far, the good outweights the bad. When I was notified, my current partner was there (actually, we got in a relationship because of my diagnosis), holding my hand, he has been poz for 20 years, and I knew it, but he was not who prob. infected me. I cried for like 5 min, then that same night we went to a bar and started fucking guys raw and watch him taking loads, felching him back home. We did that for the 3 months we lived together, before I left because of visa status.

No, it's not worry free, and prob. the worst has to come yet, but, as RawPozLust said, it can be a wake up call to make you stronger

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Thanks guys! Generally the rapid tests take 20ish minutes to come back, but this was an actual lab blood test that for whatsever it has been a few days and I still haven't heard anything. Anyway, you guys are right. If anything, i'll be more driven to lead a healthier lifestyle and keep myself is good shape.

Good luck and I hope you get the results that you want. It must be tough waiting. Where do you live that you have to wait so long? Here where i live, you can get results in like 20 mins. Anyway, if it does come back positive, you dont neccessarily have to tell your family if you dont want to. Its your private business, your health and people dont need to know everything about you. I'm sure you will be fine, your life will continue, and whatever the results show, you will deal with it and you will be okay.
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When I became poz it was quite a shock so i deffinately wish i had been more cautious in the past. Whilst being poz for the last 5 years has not casused me any major problems thus far, it certainly hasnt been nice.

I have bareback sex with poz guys because i don't like the hassle of telling neg guys i am poz and i would rather be honest with them. While its true that bareback feels better, i worry about picking up other std's and having to change to another cocktail of meds that are more difficult to take or has side effects since the stuff im on now is easy to take and gives me no side effects.

None. Like the ancient Chinese philosophers, I believe every crisis is also an opportunity. Being poz has led me to become healthier, more fit and physically and mentally stronger than I knew I could be. Plus, the depraved bareback sex has been fantastic.

This is also true for me as well. I've never looked better than I do now but i just wish i didnt have a life-threatening illness.

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It is a very expensive virus to live with. Yah there are programs but you have to qualify for them. Insurance can be a bitch; copays add up quickly when your insurance is shit. I once had an interview for a job that was going to require a physical and had a moment of panic come over me. Others have already talked about the issues around disclosure. It sucks. I would absolutely go back and do things differently.

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The expense side of things is very true. Back in 2009 I had to drop meds because I hit the Medicare Part D 'donut hole' and couldn't afford nearly $3000 monthly costs out of pocket. I was over the maximum annual income for my state's ADAP program by $300, so I wasn't able to get support through them. Going off meds was the only choice. At the end of 2009 I lost the benefits from a private long-term disability insurance policy. Lost 2/3 of my income, but the lower income meant that I finally qualified for ADAP and could restart treatment. My current regimen has a retail cost of $2681 per month.

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      He stayed inside her this time and leaned down and kissed her and they made out for few minutes.  I knew she was tasting cum since Jason had eaten her pussy and sucked out the cum.  All the kissing got Jason riled up again and he slowly started fucking her and in another ten minutes he shot another load and pulled out.  He said where can put this condom and we did the entire show for her.   Jason had taken up a lot more time so I knew Mark would be there in 20 minutes.  I made out with her and she told me she loves she could taste me when he kissed her. I told her how hot that was and then had her suck me again till I was about to cum and I fucked her and came inside and pulled out.  Looking at the clock it was 3:58 and I heard the door and there was Mark.  He wore shorts and a t-shirt, and he must not have been commando since his dick was pressing against his shorts.  He went over and grabbed her tit again and squeezed it and said I hear you need more of me.  She said, yes please. 
      He pulled his shorts off and said, are you going to be a good little slut for daddy?  Yes, she whispered.  Louder, she said yes daddy.  Good, now open your mouth and show me you want to learn to be a better cock sucker.  He fed her his cock and she gagged and swallowed and after five minutes he pulled out, good girl you are getting better.  He leaned down and kissed her for a minute and then got between her legs and she begged him to fuck her.  He tore open the condom and motioned for me and he had me roll it on my dick and then he lined up his dick and slide inside her.  He fucked her and she moaned and whimpered and came hard and he said my beautiful little slut, you want to feel my dick spasm and unload in you don’t you, bet you wish I would take off this condom and spray my cum deep inside you.  She whimpered yes, oh fuck yes.  Good girl, good girl you are going to soon get what you want.  He fucked her for another two minutes and came hard inside her. 
      He leaned down and made out with her after he caught his breath and then slowly pulled out of her and once out I pulled off the condom making a show of it and he again went over and grabbed her tit and said you need more of me don’t you baby.  She said yes, please.  I will be back in two hours; I have to go see my girlfriend for a couple hours and I will be back at 8.  You need more of my big dick and you still need help learning how to suck thick dick baby.  Then he turned and left. 
      I got on the bed again and put the pillow under her, her pussy was leaking cum.  Three young loads in her fertile pussy.  If today was her peak day she was probably already pregnant. We took a break and she asked me to get her a drink.  I headed to the kitchen admiring her pictures of her and her husband.  She was hot and he would a good-looking white guy.  Sandy blond hair and well built, in any event of all the breeders I lined up none will look anything like this cat.
    • By nastystephen
      looking for any tops that need to cum in a hot hole no rubbers ever no pull out north phoenix curious, gay, horny, girlfriend wont put out, i will.... hmu sixohtwo4threefive3twofive8
    • By PozAnonCumslut
      Ill be visiting Atlanta for the weekend of the 11-13 and we all gonna get slutty! Im probably the biggest of them all! Lookin for hot tops to use and abuse me! Very poz and disease friendly so dont stray away if ur cummin with some extra friends! 😜 hit me up for more details. 
    • By PupLucky
      Hi guys quick note before i start i'm new at writing fiction (first story >.< ) but thought since i have enjoyed so many of your amazing orgasm inducing tales i should try contribute to the community, so any feed back is more than welcome as its the only way we get better. a quick sorry in advance for the punctuation i have dyslexia and its a bitch.
       this story is based on all those films where the monster is loose and hunts its pray transforming them into creatures like itself, which always really turned me on ... and seems a natural fit for a genetically modified poz monster who wants to convert as many as possible with its toxic dick. nobody dies in this story they just become infected with super HIV developed by a shady pharma corp and transform still living into there new form.
      i hope you all enjoy and on with the story......
      The group walked up to the glass and steel building of Gentech, its massive sign still lit proclaiming “Gentech a better world for all”. But with the lights in the building out and all personnel gone it looked eerie and dead they knew the building was fully evacuated except for basement levels where the labs are and from reports those lab floors were like a small labyrinth. The basement levels had been sealed due to a biological containment alarm with the twelve scientists who working at the time were still down there needing extraction. 
        That was the job of S.R.A.R.G, a search and rescue group used by government to get assets out of compromising situations, the group sent was delta squad a five-man strong retrieval team each hand picked for their skills.  
       The Figures moved up to the doors and slipped inside with military precision, five figures in all wearing black bio-containment suits the front figure held a tablet with a metal wand hooked up to it they waved it though the air of the large glass atrium the tablet lit up green, the figure nodded and they moved quickly across the marble floor their footsteps and rustling suites echoing off the glass and steel in the still darkness they reached an elevator and the front figure typed a code the beeping seeming too loud by far, the metal doors slid open with a shush of air and the group stepped inside without a word, the elevator descended. 
      The figures remained silent the elevators doors opened again and they stepped into a small concrete room only just big enough to hold them all, a red light pulsed on the wall a message flashing on a small black screen underneath “containment breach full lock-down in effect” the figure with the tablet moved up to the large blast door that took up one wall like the entrance to a tomb. he plugged the tablet into it with a small cable, swiftly moved his hands across the glass pad within a few seconds the red flashing light stopped and the large metal door rumbled up. the figures braced themselves but they were only met with a set of glass doors leading to a long corridor lit with dull yellow emergency lights no panicked scientists. 
       The lead figure pushed the glass door open carefully and waved the metal rod it took a few seconds but the tablet once again showed a green icon on the screen, the figure pulled the mask free from his face with a sigh of relief “all clear guys”  he was greeted with a rush of hot moist air that smelled like a locker room, “Air isn't too fresh though makes sense with the air con off down here, but the system says there are dangerous no toxins or gasses ”  
      He quickly striped off the rest of the bio hazard suite showing the black military boots, fatigues,  jacket a bullet proof vest over the top seemed filled with tech gear,  the man was in his twenties 5 foot 9 with sparkling green eyes his blond hair shaved up the sides and back and let to grow long on the top it made him look like a surfer dude who had dressed like a swat officer for Halloween.  
      The other four followed his lead pulling off the black suits to show similar cloths, “if nothing is showing up why the lock down Gray?” Nate was a large man and team leader he looked in his early 30’s with a body that had been carefully sculpted at the gym, his chestnut hair and beard were both buzzed close to the skin  
      Grey looked back up from the tablet and shrugged “no idea, I would need to get into their computer systems to have a look at what they were working on, mission brief just has they were outsourced by the military intelligence on a number of sensitive projects” 
      Nate nodded and looked over the group “right where are going to split up and find the people trapped down here while Gray pulls the files from the main computers … mission control want to know what the hell they were playing with down here” he pointed at two men one could have been a blond frat boy not over 25 and the other with olive skin black hair “Jackson and Alverez you two search the labs and office area me and cooper will escort Graves to the main server room and then join you, be careful we still don’t know what triggered the biohazard alert ”  
      Both men saluted and Jackson and Alverez moved into the Lab complex guns drawn Nate watched them disappear around the corner and had a bad feeling but looked as Gray and Nick cooper a 5;12 Black man with a swimmer's body and Scowled “let's get this done fast”. 

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