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Am I the only one who is not capable of having sex with the same guy more than several times?


BadGayGuy

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17 hours ago, justsexnowatl said:

I honestly think the "hunt" is half the fun.  Having a guy (or guys) choose you over everyone else online or in person is an ego boost.  Even at a sex club or bathhouse with LOTS of available flesh to play with it feels like a conquest to get another fuck and especially to get the load from a top in that setting.  I have some repeat guys who I've had for years, but I don't like if it gets too frequent/clingy.  I've had fuckbuds who wanna play every week, but unless we're gonna bring in a 3rd/4th every time that's WAY too "committed" to me.  I call some guys fuckbuds who I really just play with once or twice a year....mostly as a third or for a group.  I love being on bbrt and some guy I fucked with 6 months ago asks if I wanna join him and and a different buddy! I had an 8 year BF all through my 20s.  We met as a hookup when we were 23 and 21.  We were extremely similar in looks and size, so if guys were into one of us, they were usually into both of us, which makes it easier (and less jealousy) as a couple.  It was a legit relationship but we were out in the bars and sex clubs pretty much every weekend and ALWAYS had a 3rd coming home with us or a couple swap!!  Some guys I join for a 3way or group are "protective" of their buddy's number.  They won't do a group text - I think they're afraid we'd hookup sometime without them.  I always do a group text for group sex and hope they fuck with each other and expand our circle of playmates 🙂

I really appreciate hearing your experience and how desire works for you (and the other responses in this thread as well). I fall between c, d, and e on the earlier multiple choice posting and have had trouble understanding and not taking it personal when a and b guys aren't interested in repeats after mind-blowing sex. These posts give me a lot of perspective. Knowing that it's just a wiring issue and not a referendum on the quality of the sex makes a difference. 

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I have the same problem,  I tend to get bored after 2 or 3 times i think that's why i like finding new cruise spots, as for the age thing as long as your upfront with me and your body and dick work I don't care if your in your 70s, guys under 35 tend to intimidate me, always afraid of ageist rejection.  I can't tell you how many times guys ask for my contact info and I have to say no

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6 hours ago, Pogie said:

  guys under 35 tend to intimidate me, always afraid of ageist rejection.  I can't tell you how many times guys ask for my contact info and I have to say no

Why is that? If that is you in your avatar pic I can see why younger tops want to have sex with you! Go for it.

I only get together with younger guys if it's clear they like to fuck older guys and say so. And I never reach out to them myself, I only respond to them. But I don't live in a big city so if I want to have sex at all it cannot be avoided to fuck with the same guys more than only a few times. So it's not really very "anon" after a while. I know hooking up with a new guy is thrilling and meeting someone new is part of the excitement and fun, but there is also something to be said for being familiar with the guy and know what he likes (and he knows what I like). 

In my younger years I probably agreed with the OP. I moved on after a few fucks but now I am older I like to have a "stable" of familiar tops. And around here good tops don't grow on trees...

 

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I have no no problems and have many regulars and have done for years. My ex, who I spent 13.5 years with bred me countless times and i always enjoyed it - but I also retained the freedom to take cock and seed from as many tops I wanted and most of my weekends were spent with him in group , gangbang, backroom or sex party situations or woth him whoring me out to a number of tops who would come over at different times. I like my regulars as I know what they want from me and I know how to press their buttons so I get fucked properly. 

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On 9/2/2020 at 11:42 AM, BadGayGuy said:

... Am I the only person who has this problem? Are there any guys here who experience the same trouble? What do you think? Does it mean that I have to give up on the idea to have a relationship, even the open one? Thank you for your replies 🙂 

I think you often have to go back and look at your beginnings to understand where you are now. I am the same way as you when it comes to sex with the same person and over the years have given thought to why. I started having sex fairly young and in my very early teens discovered glory holes in men's rooms. I became addicted to that kind of sex, solely about indulging penis. When I got a bit older, I found darkrooms and, eventually, cruising. Whichever, those environments are always about the sex and about the quantity. No small talk, the only thing that mattered was satisfying cock, mine and his. Multiple guys in a night was the norm. Rarely were names or numbers exchanged, just on to the next so no opportunity for a repeat anyway. I am sure that stunted me for relationships. My penis pretty much has ruled much of my life and it's always been an 'onto the next one' kind of thing when it comes to sex.

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We are males. We crave variety. It's part of our DNA coding. Our social coding, mainly owing to Xian dogma surrounding sexual monogamy, conflates sex with Love and dismisses sex related to Lust as dirty and sinful (but somehow, if there's pure love, sex magically transforms itself [insert eye roll emoji at this point]). This equating of Love, sex, and monogamy has created males who spend their lives trying to run counter to their natural programming. My boyfriend, who I have been with for just over a year, and I both still enjoy sex with each other. But, we enjoy cuddling and kissing even more. Both of us are non-monogamous horndogs and in many ways, that steady diet of new partners keeps the sex between us fresh without diminishing our Love for each other, which we recognize as different from sex and Lust. The biggest problem I have experienced in the gay community is the dopamine high of sex leading people to confuse a good fuck with a good relationship and these are not the same. Sex is a primal animal act--indulge it--but do not fall for the Xian social programming and let the physical act become defined as the expression of the emotional connection you have with another guy. 

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  • 1 month later...

yeah, for me the thrill is in the hunt. undressing him, getting that first look at his ass, smelling hid body, mounting him, the awesome sensation of sliding my hard cock into a new fuckhole and then the conquest when I pump my seed into him especially ifI've had to work hard to talk him into going bareback and the thrill of adding another dude's seeded hole to my tally. soon as it's done I wanna fuck a new hole.

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  • 4 months later...

Hmmmm. I would say perhaps being somewhere in between ?  I enjoy fuckbuds who I may have mounted or been plowed by a dozen or more times and  we know what  trips each other's trigger and still find it compelling and fun. The other end of the scale are my beleaguered  old boyfriends, whom after I've fucked 167 times, I find myself closing my eyes during sex and fantasizing about their brothers in law to get through it.

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