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Where is Riverfk?


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22 minutes ago, DannyBoyCMH said:

You all know that Riverfk and I had a special connection.  I could never get him to do more than chat with me, but he was awesome.  Even invited him to come here, but he seemed to be content just chatting on here.  I miss him a lot. 😢

Riverfk's sense of even temper, humor, and playfulness will be missed by many of us. If he's decided to spend time away from here let's trust that he knows what he needs and wish him well.

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Without speaking for anyone in particular, in this thread or otherwise:

It's important to keep in mind that there are undoubtedly considerable numbers of people whose presence on this site is entirely based in fantasy: they are HIV-negative guys on PrEP pretending to be chasers, HIV+ undetectable guys pretending to not be on meds, men who haven't had sex in a decade pretending to be overly promiscuous bareback sluts; and more. There are even some guys who slip up and change their story from claiming to be HIV-positive not on meds, to being HIV-undetectable, to being HIV-negative, either having forgotten previous details of their online personnas or not thinking it matters much. There are guys who claim to be "straight but bi-curious" who haven't been near a woman's private parts since birth. There are actually bi-curious (ie completely inexperienced) guys who claim to be mega-players in the gay BB sex world. How much the publicly presented "persona" any particular member here matches reality is something that varies from individual to individual.

This isn't something limited to BZ; there are people online on almost any gay site who are happily yanking other guys' chains, with fake/stolen pics, claims to be X when they're Y, or whatever. But since this is a site where claims of great sexual exploits are not only welcomed but encouraged - a position I don't quarrel with at all - one needs to understand that at any given point, a non-measurable but definitely non-zero amount of it is no more real than an animated cartoon on Saturday morning TV (if that's still a thing; I'm old).

And because of that, sometimes those guys lose interest in portraying their "avatar" and abandon, temporarily or permanently, their online existence. Sometimes it's not negative reactions from other members that drives people away; sometimes it's just exhaustion from role playing. Sometimes they sense another member is asking too many questions and they realize their fake persona is coming apart.

That doesn't mean we should assume that of anyone in particular. But it's perhaps a cautionary reminder that not everything on the other end of a cyber connection is real.

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27 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

a non-measurable but definitely non-zero amount of it is no more real than an animated cartoon on Saturday morning TV (if that's still a thing; I'm old).

 

Well said, BootmanLA. And as I understand it, Saturday morning cartoons are no more, since the amount of "educational" crap mandated by the gubmint made it impossible to sustain good, old-fashioned cartoon violence (ah, Warner Borthers...).

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I fear it is in the nature of a site like this for members to simply drop away without notice or any explanation - the reasons may vary, but ultimately none if us is here represented as his self without some sort of cloak for purely practical, real-world reasons, and that arrangement that allows us the safety to communicate freely here also promotes clean, quick disappearance.

@BootmanLA makes good points about the level (probably high) of at least exaggerated and often purely fictional member content - creating that kind of content does not require the same kind if personal investment as when someone is being genuine. A game is simply a game. There are some of us, like myself, who aren’t playing a game here, and who are writing about the real events if their real lives in an effort to try to connect to men with similar experiences, or even simply to try to understand themselves better by blogging it out, and that effort can be very frustrating when most others are typing fantasy fapshit and calling it real. I can understand why some might give up in that basis

I can understand that some, after a time, might begin to sense that the same or similar topics keep getting started again and again as new people come in and don’t look at the thread history. I would never have dreamed when I first logged in here that I would have had enough to say about assfucking to rack up my post count, but even I am finding I have less and less to say that I haven’t said already - and most people are likely to move on to other interests quicker.

In certain cases of people who stop posting, I feel a weight of uncertainty - take, for instance, Dirtyfuckboy. I know nothing of him beyond what he has chosen to post, but if I take the body of his posts at face value, they paint a portrait of a man on a potentially self-destructive course. If he then abruptly disappears, one cannot avoid the question of whether the actions and behaviors he was describing led to an undesirable - if foreseeable - outcome. Perhaps, perhaps not. We may never know. And that’s unfortunate, because it could be a potentially important object lesson for the rest of us.

Or he could have just gotten bored with it.

 I can’t speak to the question of members being so trolled by other members that they give up on the site - I have personally never been harassed by others over the things I’ve written (perhaps it’s just one of the perks of not being popular or ‘hot’ or whatever - there’s certainly nothing that would ever make anyone feel jealous of me). But I echo others in expressing regret if people are being driven away by this.

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12 hours ago, sjthick8inches said:

Well said, BootmanLA. And as I understand it, Saturday morning cartoons are no more, since the amount of "educational" crap mandated by the gubmint made it impossible to sustain good, old-fashioned cartoon violence (ah, Warner Borthers...).

The disappearance of Saturday morning cartoons has nothing to do with the “gubmint” - they’re just not confined to Saturday mornings anymore. Why shoehorn them all into four hours one day a week when you could get them 24/7/365 on Disney, Netflix, PBSKids, Nick Jr., HBO Max, Apple TV+, etc. Ever hear of the Cartoon Network? And as to the good old-fashioned cartoon violence, I grew up on a diet of coyotes getting crushed by self-inflicted dynamite traps and the likes of Elmer Fudd running around carelessly firing off shotguns - and then I became a dad and realized that there was a better way to raise children to be good people. In the end, looked at properly, Yosemite Sam was a mean motherfucker with anger issues and a short fuse, and we’re probably better off without him as a role model.

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7 hours ago, ErosWired said:

The disappearance of Saturday morning cartoons has nothing to do with the “gubmint” - they’re just not confined to Saturday mornings anymore. Why shoehorn them all into four hours one day a week when you could get them 24/7/365 on Disney, Netflix, PBSKids, Nick Jr., HBO Max, Apple TV+, etc. Ever hear of the Cartoon Network? And as to the good old-fashioned cartoon violence, I grew up on a diet of coyotes getting crushed by self-inflicted dynamite traps and the likes of Elmer Fudd running around carelessly firing off shotguns - and then I became a dad and realized that there was a better way to raise children to be good people. In the end, looked at properly, Yosemite Sam was a mean motherfucker with anger issues and a short fuse, and we’re probably better off without him as a role model.

My theory - based on nothing but conjecture, so maybe "hypothesis" is a better word - is that Saturday morning cartoons were devised as a way to keep suburban kids (already accustomed to waking early for school) entertained while Daddy got up to do basic tasks like mowing the yard and Mommy got to sleep in a bit. They found ready funding from toy and cereal companies and others who marketed to a captive audience of kids.

Not only are there lots of dedicated channels for cartoons (and a wider range of cartoon shows), but there are DVDs and streaming shows and even more important, video games, all competing for their attention. Without a built-in captive audience, advertisers would have soured on pouring lots of money into those timeslots, and in turn, the networks lose the money used to buy the shows in the first place.

You're spot-on, of course, about the casual glorification of cartoon violence for laughs. It's not that kids need a diet of nothing but rainbow ponies and unicorns, but there are better ways to entertain and educate kids at the same time. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 9/26/2020 at 7:21 AM, BlindRawFucker1 said:

Don’t leave the site, CuriousDallas.

i enjoy your adventures and give those of us who can’t get out much some hot jerking material.

i can’t see any of your photos,  but have an image of you in my head.

 

drop me a personal message before you leave.

 

thanks

I agree curiousdallas, please don’t leave, love your posts, has made me hard over and over wishing I was in your place

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On 9/25/2020 at 8:49 AM, CuriousDallas said:

Part of the problem is this site. You can’t block people, can’t edit or take down posts, there’s not editorial capability and no way to screen out trolls or delete their hateful posts. It’s just not user friendly, all of which is the kiss of death for a content-driven site. It’s archaic...DataLounge in the age of TikTok 

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one that feels that way about this site 

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7 hours ago, dallaskid said:

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one that feels that way about this site 

As noted, you can "ignore" problematic users, keeping their posts from appearing in any of the forums you visit. You can also block messages from them. 

It's true this lacks "editorial capability" (assuming what he meant is "the ability to edit what you already posted"). That, I think, is a good thing. It keeps people from denying they posted something later.

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Well said @BootmanLAand sometimes you actually tell people stories that happened and you get a bunch of, this is fake, when it just happened a couple hours ago... it goes both ways. Unless you know a person IRL you aren't going to know for sure who that person is or what they are about simply from covering with said person online. And no one should be using fake pics. There should be a way of verifying people pics wise by the moderators. I hate people using some person's pic without their knowledge!

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41 minutes ago, Ocelot2000 said:

Well said @BootmanLAand sometimes you actually tell people stories that happened and you get a bunch of, this is fake, when it just happened a couple hours ago... it goes both ways. Unless you know a person IRL you aren't going to know for sure who that person is or what they are about simply from covering with said person online. And no one should be using fake pics. There should be a way of verifying people pics wise by the moderators. I hate people using some person's pic without their knowledge!

The reputation score on here is a pretty good indicator of how engaged someone is in the community and I imagine it is difficult to keep up a charade for a long time and get a good reputation on here if you're a fake. It's only an indication: even with reasonable reputation scores, there are sometimes suspicious posting patterns that do make me wonder if one person is using multiple profiles to promote themselves.

That said, I believe we shouldn't discriminate and we should always be welcoming and accepting of new members who will naturally have low reputation scores.  

I quite like the way you can leave encounter feedback on people's profiles on Squirt.org. You can also do the same on NKP but the nature of that site is that you tend to get some sub/btm guy with a load of comments on his profile from other bottoms trying to attract attention from any tops browsing rather than useful feedback. BBRT has the option to link profiles with play buddies and this is usually a good indicator of how engaged someone is in playing.  

 

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11 hours ago, AirmaxAndy said:

The reputation score on here is a pretty good indicator of how engaged someone is in the community and I imagine it is difficult to keep up a charade for a long time and get a good reputation on here if you're a fake. It's only an indication: even with reasonable reputation scores, there are sometimes suspicious posting patterns that do make me wonder if one person is using multiple profiles to promote themselves.

That said, I believe we shouldn't discriminate and we should always be welcoming and accepting of new members who will naturally have low reputation scores.  

I quite like the way you can leave encounter feedback on people's profiles on Squirt.org. You can also do the same on NKP but the nature of that site is that you tend to get some sub/btm guy with a load of comments on his profile from other bottoms trying to attract attention from any tops browsing rather than useful feedback. BBRT has the option to link profiles with play buddies and this is usually a good indicator of how engaged someone is in playing.  

 

I agree with you about the buddy link function on BBRT - indeed, we are buddy linked ourselves on there. Everything I post about my encounters is real - I have no need to exaggerate (as well you know...😂) - but I have no control over whether anyone believes me or not. And, frankly, it’s a matter of indifference to me if they don’t. I’m never rude. Never down vote. And trolls can troll away with me til the cows come home because I’m immune.

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10 hours ago, Pozguyinchi said:

I think the whole point of this platform is that there is an outlet for like minded thinkers. I haven’t had or seen negative comments but then again I don’t read all content on here. 

I have to say, I agree. Of all the sites I’m on, BZ has the least negativity. 

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