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Curious but confused bottom


hotguy02

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So I have a question for you top daddies and bottom boy's.   Is it normal for a top daddy to have sex with another sub bottom boy and then come home to you and act like he was running errands and then when it's time to be intimate he makes you suck his dick and it smells like he just got done fuckn and breeding another ass.?  I had my top daddy call me the other day saying that he wanted to hang out with me, so I went to his house and when we were in bed and I was sucking him I could taste fresh cum and the smells of another ass.    He's a total alpha Daddy 30 yrs my senior.    I'm loyal to him since he took my virginity but I know he or has his boys, rightfully so but is it normal for him to come to me and still be horny and make love to me and taste other bottoms ass.   I don't play around with anyone else but him for the last 15 years.  I love him and he knows that but he fucks around and is always horny so I can't expect him to not fuck around but he has been smelling like fresh cum and ass everytime I sucked him.    I'm just curious

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If he’s not telling you about it, then it could be considered cheating unless you have an open relationship. If you do have an open relationship he most likely gets off on making you clean his cock. Letting you know he’s fucking other guys without outright saying it. It’s kind of like cuckolding you. You need to talk to him and get it out in the open, and then go from there. 

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21 hours ago, hotguy02 said:

So I have a question for you top daddies and bottom boy's.   Is it normal for a top daddy to have sex with another sub bottom boy and then come home to you and act like he was running errands and then when it's time to be intimate he makes you suck his dick and it smells like he just got done fuckn and breeding another ass.?  I had my top daddy call me the other day saying that he wanted to hang out with me, so I went to his house and when we were in bed and I was sucking him I could taste fresh cum and the smells of another ass.    He's a total alpha Daddy 30 yrs my senior.    I'm loyal to him since he took my virginity but I know he or has his boys, rightfully so but is it normal for him to come to me and still be horny and make love to me and taste other bottoms ass.   I don't play around with anyone else but him for the last 15 years.  I love him and he knows that but he fucks around and is always horny so I can't expect him to not fuck around but he has been smelling like fresh cum and ass everytime I sucked him.    I'm just curious

"normal" is the most useless word I can think of to describe human behavior in cases like this.

You have choices:

1. Ask him to shower/clean up after sex with others so that your time with him is free of reminders of other men. If you don't, you can

2. Accept that this is how he treats his partners, and cope with it, or

3. Break up with him.

Wondering if it's "normal" is a stupid, pointless waste of time. It doesn't matter if that's what 99.99% of other couples do, or if he's the only one. It's what you two do, and what you accept from each other, that matters. Period.

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On 10/14/2020 at 10:35 PM, BootmanLA said:

"normal" is the most useless word I can think of to describe human behavior in cases like this.

You have choices:

1. Ask him to shower/clean up after sex with others so that your time with him is free of reminders of other men. If you don't, you can

2. Accept that this is how he treats his partners, and cope with it, or

3. Break up with him.

Wondering if it's "normal" is a stupid, pointless waste of time. It doesn't matter if that's what 99.99% of other couples do, or if he's the only one. It's what you two do, and what you accept from each other, that matters. Period.

Thanks for your advice.   Alpha Daddy men are just too dominant naturally it's hard to tell him to stop lol.  I'm just naturally submissive to him.   I guess I have no choice if I love him

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14 hours ago, hotguy02 said:

I have no choice.   A bit jelous lol

What that tells me is that you're not naturally submissive; you're naturally anti-confrontational.

A truly submissive person knows he has a choice, and chooses to submit.

Someone non-confrontational pretends he has no choice so that he avoids confrontation.

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On 10/16/2020 at 10:17 PM, BootmanLA said:

What that tells me is that you're not naturally submissive; you're naturally anti-confrontational.

A truly submissive person knows he has a choice, and chooses to submit.

Someone non-confrontational pretends he has no choice so that he avoids confrontation.

Id like to think I'm naturally submissive to him

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On 10/16/2020 at 2:10 AM, hotguy02 said:

Thanks for your advice.   Alpha Daddy men are just too dominant naturally it's hard to tell him to stop lol.  I'm just naturally submissive to him.   I guess I have no choice if I love him

You DO have a choice.  Accept it or leave him.  Sub or no sub, you can still choose to walk away.

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I'll echo @BootmanLA here.  It's not submission in this case.  If you didn't think this is a problem, you wouldn't be posing the question here.  Couple of thoughts from me:

If this isn't really a problem, then you should have enough of a dialogue with your master for him to know that you're actually okay with him coming over with a freshly fucked dick.  If you're actually turned on by this practice, I would think your master would be absolutely aching to tell you about him just having fucked another bottom right before you. 

There is a clear distinction between true submission and being outright used.   Being a true submissive to your master requires an open dialogue at the beginning over limits, both yours and his.  None of us is truly ever "no limits", but the best D/s relationships have a clear understanding of just how far each other can go with one another.  By not being honest about his fucking a sub before you, it takes away your ability to give informed consent to being put into that situation.  

The best Dom/sub (or Master/slave) relationships are built on the foundation of mutual respect.  Your willingness to be a submissive should not override your ability to know your limits and insist on them.  The best Doms and Masters know this, and are much more open to having this dialogue than one might suspect.

I know this sounds easier said than done, but I'm speaking as a voice of experience.  The fact that he's your first makes this a difficult thought process, and I fully recognise that.  You just need to also fully recognise and grow into your own sexual being.  If that's being a total sub, it's knowing how to do that on your terms - which I know sounds counterintuitive.  Hopefully you can find the best way forward and everything works out, but you can't stay in a situation that makes you unhappy.

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Maybe this will help.

A good friend of mine once told me that submission is a gift - a precious gift, from the sub to his Dom, and as such, it's incumbent on the Dom to value it and show his appreciation for being entrusted with such a gift - by respecting it in the spirit it's given. That includes honoring, without question, any limits you place on your submission.

And because it's an ongoing gift, not something you OWE him, it's something that can be withdrawn at any time as the circumstances require.

As LetsPozBreed notes, it might sound counterintuitive. But there's an acronym you should be aware of: RACK, which stands for Risk-Aware Consensual Kink. For me, the "consensual" part is the most important - anything done without consent is illegitimate, and consent may be withdrawn at any point.

Now, consent doesn't have to be explicit every single time for every single action - this isn't like the right-wing's mocking scripts for college kids to use ("I would like to touch your breast. May I touch your breast now?"). You establish limits - make that YOU establish limits, they're YOUR limits, and YOU get to set them - and then it's his job to respect those limits. He can negotiate the limits up or down, and that's why you should know yourself thoroughly, what you want/don't want, what you find acceptable/unacceptable, so you aren't coerced into agreeing to something you don't want. It's why all good BDSM play has safe words (and for advanced players, safety signals), because there are limits that must be respected.

Any Sir/Dom who has issues with this shouldn't be trusted. Any Sir/Dom who has issues with this with a novice is a hazard.

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Sub's can be dangerously jealous and territorial. If a Dom has a harem or likes multiple play they may keep this from you to protect the relationship. If you are not into being a side chick end it. If you are OK just drop hints that you OK with him having other bitches. Him letting you suck his pre used dick can either be him testing to see if you are able to handle him having other bitches or he might of just forgotten to wash his dick. 

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29 minutes ago, find91 said:

Sub's can be dangerously jealous and territorial. If a Dom has a harem or likes multiple play they may keep this from you to protect the relationship. If you are not into being a side chick end it. If you are OK just drop hints that you OK with him having other bitches. Him letting you suck his pre used dick can either be him testing to see if you are able to handle him having other bitches or he might of just forgotten to wash his dick. 

I don't think the OP is overly territorial, just trying to figure out whether there's a boundary here they care about. My experience of non-performative dominant breeders is that they like a variety of subs and bottoms to use and enjoy. I like a variety of dominants and tops to use and enjoy me as well, so in that the expectations are balanced. Now, that doesn't mean I don't feel envious of all the other boys he's fucking and pumping his seed into. But that understanding can be fuel to focus and become his best boy.  

It sounds like the OP needs to use his words and just get this out in the open. If this dom has other bitches he fucks, then you can have other doms and tops to bitch-fuck you without restriction. You need to find a balance you can live with because by their nature dominant breeders are going to want to use whoever they like.

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