Submissives: when did you know?

[kinkysuBB]

On 3/12/2021 at 12:40 AM, ErosWired said:

The way you say that - “learn more about being the same way” - makes it sound as if I were further ahead along a path than you are. I’ve actually only been having same-sex contact for less than 17 years now.

Well, I’ve only been having same-sex contact for 16 years, so yes, you’re further along the path 😜 Admittedly I started at 18 (physically), and about 16 (online), having had the advantage of being born in a more liberal decade and society than you (I think you’ve said you’re from Louisiana? A place I know little about, I’m afraid, other than stereotypes, but I have read some of your posts about growing up there, so I’ve learned from them).

I did spend almost my entire 20s in a monogamous and pretty vanilla relationship though, albeit a homosexual one. So in some ways I think I’m a late bloomer as well: I’ve really only discovered cumdumping, submissive sex, saunas, group sex, most of my kinks, in the last 5 years. Ok the kinks were always there, but I’m only really engaging with them the last few years. So I can identify with a lot of what you say.

And believe me, whatever you might feel about lost time, you’re a lot further along this path that I am. I read your posts on here and I’m frankly in awe most of the time. Some of what you write scares the shit out of me, but most of it I want for myself, in time. I’ve learned a lot from you and hope to continue doing so. Thanks for posting it all 😊

[ErosWired]

4 hours ago, subBottomKink said:

having had the advantage of being born in a more liberal decade and society than you (I think you’ve said you’re from Louisiana?

Kentucky. A society less liberal and more backward in many ways than even Louisiana. I was raised, however, in the Appalachian foothills of East Tennessee, which was culturally essentially interchangeable - that is, a sucky place to grow up with an odd feeling of being keenly interested in other guy’s penises.

[kinkysuBB]

7 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

Kentucky. A society less liberal and more backward in many ways than even Louisiana. I was raised, however, in the Appalachian foothills of East Tennessee, which was culturally essentially interchangeable - that is, a sucky place to grow up with an odd feeling of being keenly interested in other guy’s penises.

My mistake, sorry. Hey, I missed growing up in Holy Catholic Ireland by just a few years, so I can (sort of) relate (ok, not quite, I reckon, but I did experience some fear growing up). Homosexuality was decriminalised here within my lifetime (1993, and it took a brave man who would later become a senator, a brave lawyer who would later become our first female president, and intervention from the European Court of Justice). My country had liberalised hugely by the time I came along, but I didn’t realise it. I was terrified to be seen going to a gay bar when I was 18. Nowadays we have gender queer 12 year olds and no one bats an eyelid.

Edited March 14, 2021 by subBottomKink

[MichiganBottom82]

It took a while for me to embrace being submissive. I was 19 when I went to a bathhouse the first time and the guy who took me made it clear that he expected me to bottom for himself and these other older guys. I’ve written about that elsewhere but it was definitely one of the times that I realized I enjoyed being used. 
 

of course my first time was earlier when I was 15. With a guy in his twenties who just took me bare. But when I was younger I had a lot of conflicting feelings about being used.  I hooked up with a guy in his 50s when I was a teenager who fucked me while I was crying.  I don’t really look back on a lot of the teenage sex that fondly.  But for better or worse it set up a kind of pattern. 
 

I think that part of the issue is that more dominant guys can kind of sense when you are more submissive.  I remember thinking, the first time I was spitroasted, while my legs were being raised over my head and I was being silently but firmly taken and another guy was turning my head towards his cock, that it was just kind of what my role was going to be.  Which is probably part of the reason I love stories and porn that involve rough group sex. 
 

Tl;dr: Basically I didn’t really embrace it until my mid to late twenties, but I think I knew from the beginning. 

[ShyBBFag]

I don’t know if I was always submissive or if it was because of how I was exposed to sexual acts at a young age but ultimately I am very submissive today. I lean towards it was because it was introduced to me so young that being submissive was my role with men. My cousin started having me suck his cock when I was around 5 or 6 and by 9 or he was putting his raw cock in me. This went on till I was 13. After that I didn’t have much action. I tried but always with men much older than me and I wanted them to use me. I talked to a couple of guys who probably would’ve met me when I was underaged but I always chickened out. I didn’t end up doing anything else till I was 19 and I just knew I wanted to bottom. I never stopped thinking about it or fantasizing about it. So it’s hard to say which came first but for one reason or anything I’ve never been anything but submissive.

[Guest]

it was at fourteen when my school friend and I we tried anal sex and I did try to fuck him, but he said it hurt, so he would fuck me instead, his cock was narrow and long i became his bitch right from the beginning and i have been a bitch ever since. but then mayb i always knew i was a submissive, i use to look in the mirror at my ass, i always love my ass and I always felt it was my best asset, and I have always had men tell me I have a beautiful piece of ass, even my first time he said to me i had a great ass, and when he fucked his girl friend he would say I was better and give him more pleasure then his girlfriend. i love the feel of a cock in my ass and always lookforward to a good fuck, i have always known i was a good submissive bottom bitch to the boys. and love it.

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

It didn't take long after I started having sex with men to fall naturally into the submissive role whenever I was with a more dominant man. I always enjoyed risky sex stories for years, and always imagined myself in the female role. Reading the stories and imagining giving myself to a dominant man for his pleasure has always been a turn-on. I was lucky enough to have a friend that loved to fuck my throat while I was laying on my back on the bed whenever we hooked up and I think one of the key things that would happen is that I would cum during the aggressive face fucking and end up with jizz all over me. This was almost like conditioning. To this day I love messy cummy sex and the more aggressive the better. 

To this day when confronted with an aggressive guy it is almost like a game of chicken. He pushes a boundary, I respond enthusiastically, he ups his game, I do the same. I haven't found anyone to match the aggressive stories I like, but hey, keep fucking til you do, right?

[ErosWired]

I mentioned in my earlier response that in my very first fuck with another man the roles weren’t discussed, I just took it. Reading over this thread makes me sort of wonder how that happened. He approached me, I agreed to go to his place, we said almost nothing, and we just assumed positions as though it were understood. I don’t think he was expecting to flip, because he fucked three loads into me. How did he know, when I didn’t even know? When I told him he had taken my (gay) virginity, he didn’t believe me.

The OP’s question, When did you know?, could be interpreted as “When did you decide” or as “When did you realize”. The first way suggests that submission is a thing we arrive at, and by extension, could depart; the second suggests that submission is a part of our nature. In my case, at least, I’m inclined to think the latter is true.

I started by bottoming instinctively for a Top who apparently could somehow sense that submission was my nature. Now, another man holds a deed to my body and tomorrow night I’m scheduled to go submit to him so he can spend at least a solid hour trying to fuck me in half because he can. That suggests a consistency that points, in my mind, to an innate property.

[hotguy02]

I knew the second my top Daddy penetrated me with his fat cock. He is 30 years older than I and when he took my virginity and I was so confused and had this guilt trip in my head I knew I was going to be a sub bottom boy to him. Because I went back to him a wee later, without him asking me to.      It's a natural occurrence. A real submissive bottom boy knows his place way before there is any talks established.   It just happens.  

[Chubpussy]

I’ve always been a bit fem so I kind of always  knew because of that. Then I met a guy who called my ass a pussy and since then I’ve been a bitch 

[Pozguyinchi]

On 10/31/2020 at 5:39 AM, Pozguyinchi said:

I always knew what my role was but didn’t know to label it until I was about 14. I saw some porn with to very masculine men having sex. They were both taking turns fucking each other and it was aggressive. I knew that was not the sex I was having and couldn’t relate.

I also have to say that I have always gravitated towards very masculine men. I have always enjoyed serving men. I’m relationships I like gender roles like cooking and cleaning. Anything I can do to serve a man. I really don’t think it’s learned behavior. Mine went back to me as a kid wanting to suck my dads cock while he watches football. 

[Piggyybttmm]

I kinda always did....from young I didn't realize I was gay but I knew I was different , I used to have these prison fantasies where I was fresh meat from as young as 13/14.... I always seemed to be drawn to more dominant people...women or men. I'd follow the lead of other men in most situations, when it came to sex and when I started having sex with men, it just became a continuation.  I preferred to get fucked and have a hot man tell me what to do

[OzzieCumdumpster]

I knew at 13 when I was first taken from behind, that I needed to be told and take what they gave me. Bottom for life!

[Jimmi]

So i remember things as a boy, eight or nine.  Finding Robin getting tied up in the Batman and Robin tv show stirred weird feelings in me and I wanted to be him.  At the end of primary school there was a girl running round the party kissing people.  She chased me and all the boys held me down so she could kiss me.  I found it unbearably hot being held down like that.  But of course i suppressed it.  By uni i was out as gay but i knew deep down i was sub too.  So did one of my uni lecturers (he could tell; we never played).  He outed me as a sub to my colleagues.  i pretend that was an hilarious assumption by Him but secretly wondered how He knew.  i met a delightful vanilla man and parked all my kink feelings but years later when we opened our relationship i found my hook ups got kinkier and kinkier.  There was so much shame/internalised homophobia i had to overcome about being a sub before i could blossom into what i was meant to be. i am still blossoming.

Edited October 9, 2022 by Jimmi
Fixing missing words and clarifying some of my thoughts.

[Biker18914]

when i was about 12, my friends and i would jerkoff to adult magazines like Men's Adventuers. there were stories of women being tortured and abused. i dreamed i was them, wanting to be tortured and abused.

when i was 14, on a dare, i got my ass fucked by one and my mouth fucked by another. i knew then my position.