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What is the nastiest fluid you've used as lube?


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Last party I was at, whatever was stuck to a big dildo after it came out of the last bottom was used to lube me up when it got shoved in me. The host wanted to wash all the toys each time, but most of us bottoms were well past giving a fuck about that.

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4 minutes ago, Close2MyBro said:

My brother used a pat of butter he took from a restaurant to fuck me while we were on the road traveling.

I love it! Not so crazy really though. Crisco is basically the same thing, just less natural, and that’s sold as lube.

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When I was a teen, a guy I met in a park fucked me using a take-out pack of mustard we found under the seat of his truck. It was better than nothing, but its smell really worked its way into my skin so I returned home with an ass reeking of mustard.

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1 minute ago, bredbiyou said:

When I was a teen, a guy I met in a park fucked me using a take-out pack of mustard we found under the seat of his truck. It was better than nothing, but its smell really worked its way into my skin so I returned home with an ass reeking of mustard.

It must have hurt

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I went to a leather event many years ago where they supplied BUTTER FLAVORED Crisco for the fisting party!  I didn't attend the fisting event but heard it was gritty and smelled like a bakery.  LOL  The hosting club had sent their lesbian member who wasn't into fisting to do the shopping.  She got a very important education.  🤣

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I have used all  of the likely suspects, mayo, butter, Crisco.... someone else's cum

I did have a roommate years ago that used transmission fluid.  I woke up smelling the crap, and his bed looked like he had murdered someone. 

Trick was long gone with a sore hole I am sure. Poor guys dick was burning once he sobered up.  Finally settled on dish soap to take it off.  I think he lost a layer of skin over the next few days.

In his drunken state he seemed to have forgotten I had  a giant bottle of lube in my room.  We laughed about it for decades.   I miss him, had not thought about him or that story in a long time.

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On 11/18/2020 at 11:22 AM, hairyone said:

I went to a leather event many years ago where they supplied BUTTER FLAVORED Crisco for the fisting party!  I didn't attend the fisting event but heard it was gritty and smelled like a bakery.  LOL  The hosting club had sent their lesbian member who wasn't into fisting to do the shopping.  She got a very important education.  🤣

OMG!  This is the funniest sexual mishap I think I've ever read!  I'm DYING! 

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