To take a risk or not...

[frank86]

So there’s this guy I regularly meet for sex. I bottom exclusively for him, but I know he does top quite a few others. We’ve been talking a lot about bareback, and I know he’s keen on breeding me... I would also love to try, but I’m still concerned about the risk.

So im asking you guys: How do I get over it? Is it worth it? 
 

Prep isn’t easily available here so that option is unfortunately off the table. 

[leatherpunk16]

Ask him about his sexual health. If he's fine, then no risk. If he doesn't know his status, how do you feel about continuing with a barebacking? Judging from your concern, I'm guessing you have negative feelings about it. So you're not okay with getting pozzed, right? Or even being exposed to the possibility of it? 

If you're not ready for the consequences, don't do it. Once you cross that line and get bred, you may not be able to get back on the other side of it. And that's the slippery slope. I used to be a condom nazi, and when I started fucking guys without them, I couldn't stop. I seldom used them after that, and a couple years ago, I went full barebacker and bugchaser this past summer. 

See where it leads? One little choice makes tidal waves. 

[drscorpio]

Speaking as someone who has been there, you need to accept that bottoming bareback without PrEP is for all intents and purposes bugchasing. If you go bareback with one guy, you are going to be sorely tempted to go bare with the next one because it honestly feels that much better. I went from total condom nazi to letting one guy talk me into it (with the help of lots of poppers) to begging every top to fuck me bare within 3 months, and this was around 1990 when HIV was still pretty much a death sentence. I was totally bareback-only by 1995. I have no clue how I made it until PrEP came out without getting pozzed. 

Somewhere along the line I realized I was an actual bugchaser. Then I met a guy, and we were monogamous for a long while. When we opened up our relationship even though we both knew it was risky, we went right back to barebacking the way we both had been before we met. Even though he truly loved me (he passed away last year), he still got off on lining guys up to breed me even though we both knew the next guy could have been poz either unknowingly or actively stealthing. We even did that at the bathhouse a few times on trips to big cities. 

Is it possible to take bare loads and not get pozzed? Yes, but you cannot count on it. Does taking a bare load from one guy you trust make you more likely to take the next one bare? Yes, it almost always does. Does bareback feel good enough that guys will risk their health fuck after fuck for years? Absolutely, you need to decide if you want to be one of those guys. 

[daleo]

2 hours ago, drscorpio said:

Speaking as someone who has been there, you need to accept that bottoming bareback without PrEP is for all intents and purposes bugchasing. If you go bareback with one guy, you are going to be sorely tempted to go bare with the next one because it honestly feels that much better. I went from total condom nazi to letting one guy talk me into it (with the help of lots of poppers) to begging every top to fuck me bare within 3 months, and this was around 1990 when HIV was still pretty much a death sentence. I was totally bareback-only by 1995. I have no clue how I made it until PrEP came out without getting pozzed. 

Somewhere along the line I realized I was an actual bugchaser. Then I met a guy, and we were monogamous for a long while. When we opened up our relationship even though we both knew it was risky, we went right back to barebacking the way we both had been before we met. Even though he truly loved me (he passed away last year), he still got off on lining guys up to breed me even though we both knew the next guy could have been poz either unknowingly or actively stealthing. We even did that at the bathhouse a few times on trips to big cities. 

Is it possible to take bare loads and not get pozzed? Yes, but you cannot count on it. Does taking a bare load from one guy you trust make you more likely to take the next one bare? Yes, it almost always does. Does bareback feel good enough that guys will risk their health fuck after fuck for years? Absolutely, you need to decide if you want to be one of those guys. 

i totally agree!

 

[analluv27]

I also agree with those who answered you as well. My question is if Prep is not a viable option, what would happen if said top is either lying about his and intentionally infects you (highly unlikely but still a possibility) or is unsure himself and only believes himself tio be negative. If Prepared isn't a option due to say your on a family plan and you don't want said family to know what you're doing. They'll know if you would get infected and now your on this expensive maintenance medication. Plus don't forget there's other STI's.

I'm probably quite a few years older than you and I'm poz, life doesn't end if it would happen but it definitely changes. Take all precautions to protect yourself because sadly outside of the poz community there's little love since a lot of people feel you did it to yourself and you got what your hand called for. Bareback sex is awesome and it's kinda hard to go back to covered sex so do what you can do to protect yourself best way possible 

[frank86]

Thanks very much guys for all your great and informative replies. This has given me some big thinking points.

While I really crave another mans semen inside me, I think I’ll continue to play it safe for now and keep imagining what it would feel like. Maybe someday, maybe if I were to get prep. For the time being he’ll have to be patient... or find another bottom. 
 

thanks 

[Guest]

I can only add a little to the excellent answers provided so far, let's sum it up in one sentence: only you should be in charge of your own health. You cannot delegate someone else. 

If you're taking prep and getting your recommended shots, you're in charge.

If you rely on another person, you're exposing yourself to risk. You could be having sex with someone poz and doesn't know it yet, someone on prep who isn't taking it the way he's supposed to, etc etc. 

In case you need further evidence: how many people out there lie about their age? Would you trust someone who claims to be 10 years younger than he is to tell you the truth about his status?

[hotguy02]

You will get pozzes. Happened to me     now I am in love with my breeder

[frank86]

9 hours ago, bluewind said:

I can only add a little to the excellent answers provided so far, let's sum it up in one sentence: only you should be in charge of your own health. You cannot delegate someone else. 

If you're taking prep and getting your recommended shots, you're in charge.

If you rely on another person, you're exposing yourself to risk. You could be having sex with someone poz and doesn't know it yet, someone on prep who isn't taking it the way he's supposed to, etc etc. 

In case you need further evidence: how many people out there lie about their age? Would you trust someone who claims to be 10 years younger than he is to tell you the truth about his status?

You’re absolutely right on. That’s what has made me hesitate so far. I know he tops others and I know some of those encounters are probably bare too. 

I wish we had a monogamous trusting situation, then I’d let him cum inside me as much as he likes... for now though I’m gonna stay away from bareback anal intercourse. Maybe some day there will be an opportunity. 

[Guest]

On 11/30/2020 at 2:57 PM, frank86 said:

You’re absolutely right on. That’s what has made me hesitate so far. I know he tops others and I know some of those encounters are probably bare too. 

I wish we had a monogamous trusting situation, then I’d let him cum inside me as much as he likes... for now though I’m gonna stay away from bareback anal intercourse. Maybe some day there will be an opportunity. 

A word of warning about tops: one of my last bare hookups before prep was this top only guy, regularly tested and all. Checked out his profile 6-8 months later and he became poz. A top only guy catching it is less obvious than a bottom, but the risk is still there. I can say I dodged a bullet and took this experience as the final warning, it was only a matter of time before I got pozzed at some point. 

I don't remember you mentioning where you're from so I don't know about how prep works in your country, just saying looking for it won't hurt.

Edited December 2, 2020 by bluewind

[frank86]

7 hours ago, bluewind said:

A word of warning about tops: one of my last bare hookups before prep was this top only guy, regularly tested and all. Checked out his profile 6-8 months later and he became poz. A top only guy catching it is less obvious than a bottom, but the risk is still there. I can say I dodged a bullet and took this experience as the final warning, it was only a matter of time before I got pozzed at some point. 

I don't remember you mentioning where you're from so I don't know about how prep works in your country, just saying looking for it won't hurt.

Thanks for your insight. I’m definitely going to stay safe during Anal, as much as I’m tempted too do otherwise... not ready for possible long term consequences yet. 
 

I’ve gone looking for it, but going on it would cause quite some insurance issues here. Maybe I can find another way, but for now I guess loads are only going into my mouth. 

[frenchsucker]

NOw I take all loads. I don't care who fucks me ! Becoming pozzed does not bother me anymore.

[timfreo]

Absolutely, take his cock bare and his load. But as others have said, once you go bare, you never go back. It's that good. 

[frank86]

So I can make an announcement to you guys:

I’ve been meeting him for a while now, and during this pandemic he’s been my only sexual partner. So have I for him. 
It’s Saturday morning where I am now and we Met last night for a Night of fun. 
 

Had the first round of sex with condoms, with me swallowing his cum from the condom. After a break, we started to get it on again... Then we realised that we were out of condoms. So we had a Choice of Not fucking anymore or breaking lockdown and going out to buy some. Which would also be a mood killer.

He asked me if I would take him bare and promised to pull out. I agreed. The moment he entered me I was shaking with sensation. I’ve never felt something so intense. He fucked me for what felt like hours, and I could feel him getting close. He asked if he should still pull out... no way I’d let him. I pulled him closer, hugged him tight and told him he can inseminate me. Which he did. He released such a warmth in me, and I don’t regret it one bit. 
 

Right now he’s taking a shower but I know that we’ll be doing it at least another 3 times by the time I leave in the afternoon. I’m really looking forward. 
 

Took me some time to figure it out and I’m glad I did. Now I’m sure of my decision and it’s all thanks to all the input you guys have given to me. So I’d like to thank you all again. 

[gwmxyz]

I remember I was so clueless at the equivalent time that I thought it would be a problem that I didn't have any bb experience.  So I thought, maybe if I post on Craigslist and am upfront about it, then I'll find one who doesn't mind too much. i realised fairly quickly that it wasn't going to be the problem I had thought.
I was a still a quivering wreck - until he started fucking me at which point it suddenly felt good.    Only to go back to being a bit of a quivering wreck after he had pulled out.
I've never once regretted anything other perhaps that it had taken me until I was 35 before I worked out what I liked.  
I also think that "risks" are completely different for topping than bottoming.  
A guy I know has fucked pretty much anything that moves for years (in fact probably more like decades) and always bb.  Yet never gets poz. He's had a couple of long term bfs in that time. Same story.  They are, he is not.  
But what I do know he never bottoms - and by never, I mean never.  I know because I know he gets turned on by the idea, so being thoughtful and polite like I am I give it a try from time to time to see how far I get.The answer is always the same - nowhere. I've got a small cock,  I'm aware of the problem so its as soft, slow and gradual as it can be without actually falling asleep (me that is, I can't be vouch for him).   His body just gives him a pain reaction at a particular point and that's it. 
I'd be amazed if his physical inabity to bottom and his miraculous resistance to HIV weren't two sides of the same coin. 
I'm not saying you can't get it from either.  I just think, there is a massive difference in the risks - and even though everyone knows that, the figures probably slightly overstate top risk and understate bottom slightly  - just because some tops say never when they mean is "well almost never".  I can't see many bottoms being as sheepish about admitting they did a bit of ineffectual topping sometimes.