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Coming out as a Barebacker


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Just wondering if anyone else has gone through the coming out process and how hard it was. I’m in college but going home for Xmas soon. I’ve been out as a gay bottom for a while now but I decided this Xmas I really want to start living openly as a total bareback bottom. Im just tired of pretending Im someone else. I’m nervous but also ready for this. Most of my family and friends think I’m the “responsible” one so I’m not sure how it will go. Has anyone else gone through this? 

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Guest bluecollarotter
36 minutes ago, CollegeBottom said:

Just wondering if anyone else has gone through the coming out process and how hard it was. I’m in college but going home for Xmas soon. I’ve been out as a gay bottom for a while now but I decided this Xmas I really want to start living openly as a total bareback bottom. Im just tired of pretending Im someone else. I’m nervous but also ready for this. Most of my family and friends think I’m the “responsible” one so I’m not sure how it will go. Has anyone else gone through this? 

I don't think that there is a need or a necessity to 'come out', make a specific 'announcement' that you are into bareback sex. 

If you are open about being gay, and for those who ask, or whom you feel have a right to know, are open about being the bottom in a gay sexual sense....crudely, that you take dick up your ass, then in my opinion that is all that the general audience needs to know.

Among your fuckbuds, more intimate friends, those you hook up with, etc, you can be pretty straightforward with them that you bareback, practice risky sex, practice unsafe sex, etc.

You can tell those you are with that you only play condom-free.

You will probably be asked if you are 'clean' (a term I hate in reference to HIV status). 

You will probably be asked if you are Poz friendly. 

You will probably be asked if you want the guy(s) to pull out or cum in your ass. 

You will probably be asked if you are on PreP. 

You will probably be asked if you do know your status.

These are questions that all barebackers, top/bottom/vers should consider and be prepared to have a response for.

But, repeating myself, I am not sure that anyone other than those you chose to actually have sex with need to know your bareback lifestyle.

Trust me, there are plenty of us who are into bareback that get it.

And there are PLENTY of others, gay/straight/bi, etc. that DO NOT understand or APPROVE of the choice that we make.

Having said that.........BAREBACK IS AWESOME

 

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I'm with @bluecollarotter here. It's a question of audience. It's really only appropriate to be "out" about barebacking, or being a proponent of it, with those people with whom you would ordinarily share the details of your sex life.

For most of us, that doesn't include mom. I mean, honestly - do you want to know the details of her sex life? Probably not.

 

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The only people who know that I’m a barebacker are the ones that I’m playing with...or talking about playing with. I’m upfront that I only play bare and I always disclose my status so there are no surprises. As for friends, family or acquaintances, it’s none of their business how you fuck. 

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With the emotions of starting more intimate sex as in barebacking its like an addiction. Once you get the bliss of raw cock and cum and a strong sexual connection between you and your top there will be no going back. Hence I will recommend you to very strongly consider going on Prep. While you may get infected with STIs they are mostly curable however HIV is not curable. Prep will save your life. If you can take a pill after HIV positive why not before and save your body and health. 

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1 hour ago, viking8x6 said:

I'm with @bluecollarotter here. It's a question of audience. It's really only appropriate to be "out" about barebacking, or being a proponent of it, with those people with whom you would ordinarily share the details of your sex life.

For most of us, that doesn't include mom. I mean, honestly - do you want to know the details of her sex life? Probably not.

 

I think this is true of all personal information.  I sometimes hear of people treating their HIV status as public - but they don't know the details of everyone else's medical history.  All personal information is all a question of audience.  

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2 hours ago, RandomStranger said:

I think this is true of all personal information.  I sometimes hear of people treating their HIV status as public - but they don't know the details of everyone else's medical history.  All personal information is all a question of audience.  

While certainly we're all entitled to keep our medical histories private (except insofar as it may affect others directly), I can understand those who treat their HIV status as public. There is so much stigma still attached to being poz, at least in some areas and parts of life, that being open about it helps break that down. Or at least it may. 

As others have stated, it's one thing to be open about barebacking with anyone who's a potential sex partner. I can't imagine, though, how it might be relevant to people in general. I'm sure I know married heterosexual couples who practice anal sex, for instance, but I don't have any particular need or desire to know. 

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I've been seen twice by close gay friends raw fucking punters in sex clubs. One never mentioned it at all, the other was raw fucking a punter next to me unknowingly. When his eyes met mine he smiled and gave me a dirty wink. The knowledge never went further, so I guess what happens in that environment stays in that environment/.

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Each to their own, and I mean that, but with family and friends I don’t see why they need to know. My sister is hetro, but I’m not interested if she uses condoms or not. I’m gay, but no one is interested in what I get up to in bed.

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At first I misread the title and thought it said: Coming out as a Bartender."  I thought to myself: why would anyone have to "come out" as a bartender?  Then I reread it and thought: Oh. Barebacker. But why would anyone have to "come out" as that either?  Seriously, the only people it concerns are the person you are having sex with, and possibly your doctor.  Your partners may want to know so they can stop wasting money on more condoms, and your doctor may want to know to discuss things like Prep and other vaccinations or testing that may be relevant.  Other than those two, it's nobody's business. And if someone gets nosy and starts asking about your sex life, just look them in the eye and ask: "Why do you want to know? Do you want to fuck me, Grandma?" (This is most effective when said to someone who is not actually your grandma.)

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I totally agree with @bluecollarotter  coming out as gay can be necessary to live your life free. Don’t pretend that you are a straight guy who will marry a girl sometimes, etc. But your sexual interests are not for your family or others. It’s enough to share it among the potential partners. 
I have lots of close friends, straights and gays, but there are only few of them know that I am a barebacker. Even the gays hardly anyone knows it. I am not only barebacker but a dirty kinky pig with extreme things and I share these with only guys with similar interests. 

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