Guest Nah Posted February 23, 2021 Report Share Posted February 23, 2021 I'd like to drop my 2 cents as far as the STI fetish ban goes. I'm planning on going on PrEP and starting barebacking, which is really just another way of saying I'm in the "seriously thinking that decision through" phase of things. While thinking things through, I've been considering the other STI's, and while I understand that catching things is just a fact of life with that choice, I think my considering things has been helped by reading what the STI fetishists have written. Honestly, it's easy to understand that one will certainly catch other STI's while on prep - on an abstract, intellectual level. But, for me at least, it's only been by reading the fetishist and borderline-fetishy stuff that I've been able to think about it in a real-world, concrete way. It's like, I'd read "you're going to catch STI's, and that's just how it is" and completely get it. But when I've come across the fetishist stuff, it's been like someone sitting me down and saying, "No, dumbass. You don't GET it. You *WILL* catch other STI's, and you need to actually THINK about what that means." Maybe it feels more real because the idea that there's people who are totally into that is something I can't wrap my head around, and that gives it enough of an emotional kick to make me really, truly, deeply consider what I want to do. There's another thread on here where someone said that this site has affected their sex life by making him more cautious about catching HIV, and people jumped right down his throat for that. Some of those who responded to him might feel like they disagreed with how he said it and where he posted it, but to me reading their responses, it came across like they felt this site was supposed to be a chaser-encouragement space, end of discussion. I guess all I wanted to say is that, regardless of whatever direction I personally decide to go in, I think the STI fetish stuff has helped me to consider things more deeply and made my decision making better. If I decide to go one way and accept the risk of other STI's, I'll be doing it from a place of actually thinking about what I'm getting into, instead of just thinking that I thought about it. If I decide to go the other way, then the fetishy stuff will have helped me avoid stepping into something I would later regret. So I'd say the STI fetish stuff has, for me at least, been good, and I think banning it would actually cause more harm than good. (Hitting "Submit Reply" before I change my mind, that is, before proofreading. LULZ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nah Posted February 23, 2021 Report Share Posted February 23, 2021 50 minutes ago, rawTOP said: @seattlebbbtm - yes, as I stated STIs happen. Mentioning they happen, and talking about how to minimize them are all still allowed. What’s not allowed is eroticizing them. Eroticizing them is what gave them the "sit TF down and actually think about it" kick that I mention in my other post, I think. Thinking "STI's are just part of the risk" is one thing, but asking oneself "How TF could anybody be *into* that?" is what made me imagine the gritty details in a more real, personal way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators rawTOP Posted February 23, 2021 Author Administrators Report Share Posted February 23, 2021 2 hours ago, Bbtmdville said: Drugs are harmful too, as is encouraging others to do them. Please report any cases where you see people encouraging others to do illegal drugs on this site. It’s been against the rules since the beginning of the site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backdoorjimmy Posted February 23, 2021 Report Share Posted February 23, 2021 (edited) What about profiles that mention STI's aside from HIV. I have something on my profile that I think would violate the new rules and obviously I don't want to do that. Should my profile be edited to remove that content or is the new rule just in regards to posts? Edit - I went ahead and removed it just to be on the safe side. @rawTOP thank you for all that you do to keep this site safe and running. Edited February 23, 2021 by backdoorjimmy Changed my profile 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twisted282 Posted February 23, 2021 Report Share Posted February 23, 2021 I really can't believe what I'm reading. I understand that some policies must be in place to protect the site and it's community. This is your site and you can do whatever you want with but I think you are making a mistake. Choosing to get infected with HIV is not something a mentally stable person would ever choose. This site serves many purposes, some that are helpful to the community, and some that allow people to explore the darker side of life. Banning STDs and AIDs fetishes will only drive people away from this site. If you really want to protect the community, then close the backroom. Otherwise, you are only being a judgmental hypocrite. The world is a scary stressful place and it is only natural that there would be an increase in self-destructive behavior. Please embrace the idea of harm reduction by giving people a place to explore fantasies while only getting involved when someone goes outside what is legally acceptable or is directly affecting someone in the community. If you continue to restrict this site, people will just go somewhere else and this site will go the way so many other sites have gone. Already I have seen the number of new story posts drop. This feels exactly like tumblr banning porn and pornhub banning amatuer content. You can't save the world through censorship. 3 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boTtomboi200 Posted February 23, 2021 Report Share Posted February 23, 2021 This site use to be a place where I felt free to express myself in any way I could. Now it just seems like its controlled and monitored to the point where its not fun anymore. You might as well sell the site to Zuckerberg so he can add it on as a facebook extenesion or facebook app. But hey, I bet the site is safe enough for apple to allow it as a iOS app now. Just saying 2 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators rawTOP Posted February 23, 2021 Author Administrators Report Share Posted February 23, 2021 12 minutes ago, AIDSchaserCT999 said: This site use to be a place where I felt free to express myself in any way I could. Now it just seems like its controlled and monitored to the point where its not fun anymore. You might as well sell the site to Zuckerberg so he can add it on as a facebook extenesion or facebook app. But hey, I bet the site is safe enough for apple to allow it as a iOS app now. Just saying You joined last month and ^^^this^^^ is your 2nd post. You don't have a clue what the site used to be like. 3 1 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sluttony Posted February 23, 2021 Report Share Posted February 23, 2021 I'll add my "good call" comment. I've always wondered how anyone can find STIs hot. As a dedicated BB bottom, to me they're something that is a risk, and yes the risk is part of the excitement but, would be a hassle to be got rid of as soon as possible. I'm very much of the opinion that what consenting adults do is between them but encouraging someone into the levels of self harm I've seen on here sometimes is not hot at all. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 24, 2021 Report Share Posted February 24, 2021 Sounds very sensible to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laguyinhou Posted February 24, 2021 Report Share Posted February 24, 2021 Thank you, @rawTOP. This policy is clear, as with all good moderation policies, there's an "absolutely not" and a "depending on context" difference that's clearly defined. I truly enjoy this site, and I appreciate everything you do to make it amazing. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SecretCumWhore Posted February 24, 2021 Report Share Posted February 24, 2021 (edited) This is not a bad thing. With the site policy changes you are also affecting the entire sexual fetish community who uses this site and who will continue to use it moving forward. As the criteria of sexual fantasy changes I think overall this is a good move for the gay community in general. This is a already a pretty open and niche group of people who continually log on so if we do not hold each other accountable to some level this site could really go astray but I like what the admins and rawtop have done over time. Edited February 24, 2021 by SecretCumWhore Typo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators rawTOP Posted February 24, 2021 Author Administrators Report Share Posted February 24, 2021 6 hours ago, SecretCumWhore said: This is not a bad thing. With the site policy changes you are also affecting the entire sexual fetish community who uses this site and who will continue to use it moving forward. That's my hope. Hell, if guys want to play with self-harm, try flogging and then move up to whipping. You can get permanent scars with the most extreme forms of whipping. Provided you take care of the wounds properly, they'll heal and you'll live a completely normal life - just with a few scars. [But tops - please learn to do whipping properly - done improperly you can harm the sub's kidneys. The tails of the flogger/whip should never "wrap" around the side of the body - they should only hit squarely on the center of the sub's upper back. There - that was my BDSM 101 lesson for the day.] The point being - there are safe ways to be a sub that don't include disability and death. Provided it's all consensual, those forms of self-harm are fine. They're on the level of bug chasing and getting HIV and going on meds - they won't ruin your life or kill you. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAFantasy Posted February 24, 2021 Report Share Posted February 24, 2021 Yeah, yeah, I'm a n00b and all that, but my $0.02. I'm not following the logic. This site is dedicated to a self-destructive fetish. There are literally zero upsides to being HIV+ unless you buy into the argument that it takes the "when will I become poz because of my self-destructive behavior" mental load away. With PrEP readily available to most people, there's no reason to become accidentally poz in theory. The comment that "it's the bottom's fault that he got stealthed and infected because he should have been on PrEP" is untenable. If someone tells a top to wear a condom and the top sabotages it, that is sexual assault (legally) and indefensible morally. Guys deliberately or indifferently infecting their spouses are the same. There are threads in the straight sub where females are being deliberately exposed by their spouses. Does the spouse know that they're taking a risk by taking bareback loads? 100%. Do they know the level of risk? If their spouse is deliberately picking poz partners for them, 100% not. If someone gives you a revolver and tells you there's only one bullet in the chamber, maybe you spin the cylinder and take a chance. If you're told that there's one bullet and there's actually 5 or 6, that's completely different. This poll suggests that more people on this site--again, dedicated to the fetish--find the negatives of being poz outweigh the positives or actively wish that they hadn't contracted HIV. An even larger amount agree there are negatives. Less than one-third "love being poz." Yes, antiretroviral drugs are a lifesaver, but they're not without side effects and sticking to the regimen isn't always easy. And those drugs do nothing for other STDs. If you're barebacking, you're gonna get everything eventually. But apparently it's OK to kink shame that, but not chasing HIV. So contrast that with STDs. Like HIV--and unlike love--herpes and HPV are forever. And the latter is linked to cancer. Herpes is exceptionally common (roughly 13% of the human population age 15 to 49). HPV? Basically everyone has it, though fortunately the vaccine should change that. Gonorrhea is common and curable. Ditto syphilis. In a healthy society, no one actively chases. We assuredly don't live in a healthy society. But to say "my unhealthy kink is acceptable but yours is not" is hypocritical, not unlike a skydiver telling a motorcyclist that riding is stupid. Your site, your call, but I think you're creating management headaches for yourself and drawing a differentiation that doesn't exist. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScorpionFF Posted February 24, 2021 Report Share Posted February 24, 2021 On 2/23/2021 at 6:22 AM, seattlebbbtm said: That lack of judgment for risky sex illuminates the fantasy fiction found here and I fear your new STI ban perpetuates the stigma and leaves me feeling judged. I know exactly how you feel. And being the author of multiple stories that clearly go against these new rules (which I am in the process of trying to make right with the immediate deletion of all my stories) make me (with the extra Neurological illness aside that afflicts me and already makes me feel like total crap - permanently) feel like absolute total shit on top. I know that was not the intention, and that is something from within that I have to deal with. On 2/23/2021 at 6:22 AM, seattlebbbtm said: I love this site and intend to stick around to see how this plays out Yeah, I love it too, and I intend to stick around to see how it plays out, at least for a little while. I have been umming and ahhing in regards to my presence on this site for at least a year now anyway, so, we'll see. I do have quite a lengthy response written out in response to this thread, but want to make sure it is just so before I submit, as I want to get what I have to say put across in the most intellectually mature way possible that I know how. I see this as a very serious situation, and proper thought over a knee jerk reaction is what is required here, I firmly feel. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScorpionFF Posted February 24, 2021 Report Share Posted February 24, 2021 On 2/23/2021 at 12:16 PM, Bbtmdville said: Drugs are harmful too, as is encouraging others to do them. I will be addressing this factor in my rather long response to this thread. Maybe tomorrow I think now, as I am severely sleep deprived, AGAIN. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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