“Snitching” In Gay Culture

[BlackDude]

Is there a protocol for snitching in gay culture? I seem to be alone in this opinion that people who tell or are suspected to have talk to police about cruising activities not be tolerated.  Two Stories :

 

1. we had a local spa in town that operated for 10 years. No mention of the police. Then all of a sudden in the matter of a few weeks, they got three code violations from the city, one for serving food. The place ended up shutting down. A week later this other place pops up with new owners. Not only that, but the old sauna was quickly deleted from Squirt and a search for it on craigslist resulted in postings about the new place. No one can confirm this, but Word on the street is that one of the owners for the new place started frequenting the sauna and reporting  them to the city. When I try to tell people that I’m not going to the new place because they are known to work with the police to benefit themselves, and I don’t want my ID collected by these type of people, they say I’m crazy. If they get raided, they will sell you out in a second.

 

2. I recently seen a post where a guy threatened to call the police about a cruising spot because he did not like the guys who frequent there. He was called out by a few guys, including me, but a lot of guys defend it and agreed with him.

Am I missing something? Am I in the wrong?

[cumdump943]

49 minutes ago, BlackDude said:

He was called out by a few guys, including me, but a lot of guys defend it and agreed with him.

No you're not wrong but guys can be hypocrites esp closet case bi & gays.

[Theo8]

1 hour ago, BlackDude said:

 

Am I missing something? Am I in the wrong?

isn't capitalism wonderful

[BlackDude]

3 minutes ago, Theo8 said:

isn't capitalism wonderful

I don’t remember the professor telling us that law and code enforcement should be used to suppress supply, but I could be wrong. 

[BootmanLA]

My thoughts: it's one thing to report cruising activity and public sex to the police if it's, say, in a park frequented by families with younger kids. Not required, but it's certainly a defensible move. It's another thing entirely to report activity in a park that nobody goes into at night except those looking for sex.

And there's a special place in hell for people who themselves go to have public sex but call the cops when none of the people there appeal to them. 

[LetsPOZBreed]

The second point from the original post is one I've seen play out before as well.  Doesn't exactly have to be a cruising spot such as a park either; I've had a motel sex party get cancelled because some guy who got rejected by the host (for whatever reason) called the motel to snitch.  The motel then contacted the organiser and threatened them to cancel the reservation if the party was to be held as planned.  The organiser was going to find an alternate location, but think interest waned too much and it never happened.

[MuscleAss]

In the first instance, the owner of the new place may not be working with the police. I suspect their complaints were anonymous, especially if they were planning to open a similar establishment. That said it is shitty behavior. And I really don’t think there’s a reason to report cruising areas unless there is activity that could be dangerous. For example, people being robbed.

[Theo8]

7 hours ago, BlackDude said:

I don’t remember the professor telling us that law and code enforcement should be used to suppress supply, but I could be wrong. 

if you violate codes like serving food in an establishment not licensed to serve food, then you deserve to be shut down; you're one food poisoning case away from bankruptcy  anyway 
 

[NoFucksGiven]

11 hours ago, LetsPOZBreed said:

The second point from the original post is one I've seen play out before as well.  Doesn't exactly have to be a cruising spot such as a park either; I've had a motel sex party get cancelled because some guy who got rejected by the host (for whatever reason) called the motel to snitch.  The motel then contacted the organiser and threatened them to cancel the reservation if the party was to be held as planned.  The organiser was going to find an alternate location, but think interest waned too much and it never happened.

Some years ago, I was invited to a small regular gathering at the Lowry Hotel in Manchester. You can tell it's a posh joint because all the upmarket hookers sit in the bar hoping to snare the premiership footballers etc who often stay there. Anyway, one of the guys attending was obnoxious and the host very politely suggested that he cleary wasn't getting the most out of the evening and asked him to leave. The guy promptly went downstairs and told the manager what was going on. We were busted and he at least let us leave without calling the police (given that half of Greater Manchester Police officers seem to be gay or Lesbian, I'm not sure it would have been too bad). Suffice to say, the host was barred from ever staying at the hotel again and the regular partieds ceased. A pity.

 

[BlackDude]

6 hours ago, RawPlug said:

Some years ago, I was invited to a small regular gathering at the Lowry Hotel in Manchester. You can tell it's a posh joint because all the upmarket hookers sit in the bar hoping to snare the premiership footballers etc who often stay there. Anyway, one of the guys attending was obnoxious and the host very politely suggested that he cleary wasn't getting the most out of the evening and asked him to leave. The guy promptly went downstairs and told the manager what was going on. We were busted and he at least let us leave without calling the police (given that half of Greater Manchester Police officers seem to be gay or Lesbian, I'm not sure it would have been too bad). Suffice to say, the host was barred from ever staying at the hotel again and the regular partieds ceased. A pity.

 

Damn, that’s crazy. Was He band because he had too many people in the room or because of the type of party it was?He band because he had too many people in the room or because of the type of party it was?

There was a time with people like that would have been dealt with. But like I said, I don’t know “gay culture” protocol 

[blackrobe]

I'm not sure that what's being discussed is as simple as "snitching" or specific to "gay culture", as if gay culture was monolithic and homogenized the world over.

There are lots of motives people have for getting folks in trouble with the authorities, whether it be revenge/payback, or jealousy, or seeing an opportunity to injure a business rival or a hundred other reasons.  Everything being discussed happens in the broader world and isn't specific to gay people.

What I think is being highlighted instead, is the broken expectation of a kind of solidarity from gay people about gay people. Essentially, "I expect gay folks not to be dicks to other gay folks even though they feel they have every reason to be."

[LetsPOZBreed]

I can only speak for my own posts; I'll leave the others to comment on theirs, but want to add some colour to the last comment.

I'm not expecting "solidarity" from a guy who gets fobbed off at the fact that he's been asked to leave a party for not adhering to protocol (i.e. not following boundaries/etiquette, or persisting past a certain point of non-interest with other guests).  If he's asked to leave, the expectation is that he'd go without incident, and the rest can continue to enjoy their evening.  The guy can just simply go home, block who he wants on the apps/websites, delete his profile, whatever....The "snitching" aspect is the one-bit-too-far moment.  It's the "if I can't have fun, no one can" kind of attitude that is the intent of this thread.  

[NoFucksGiven]

5 hours ago, BlackDude said:

Damn, that’s crazy. Was He band because he had too many people in the room or because of the type of party it was?He band because he had too many people in the room or because of the type of party it was?

There was a time with people like that would have been dealt with. But like I said, I don’t know “gay culture” protocol 

I suspect it was to do with the fact we might sully the good name of the hotel. 

[BootmanLA]

57 minutes ago, RawPlug said:

I suspect it was to do with the fact we might sully the good name of the hotel. 

I'd also add that hotels, in general, frown on non-registered guests spending any significant amount of time in the hotel rooms, for a number of reasons unrelated to gay sex. For starters, there are liability insurance issues - the hotel's policy, for instance, might require that they make all reasonable efforts to keep non-guests to specific public areas like the lobby or ballrooms for events. Another might be that in the event of a fire or other disaster, a bunch of unidentified and unidentifiable bodies presents a problem. Or, say, a guest goes down to the lobby to check on some stuff, get a drink, or whatever, and leaves his door propped open slightly so that he doesn't have to deal with a key card, and one of the "party" guests peeks in, sees an expensive laptop, and ka-ching, he and it are out of there.

I don't think most hotels really care whether someone is having gay sex (as contrasted with straight sex), and unless an "event" is being advertised pretty widely, it's unlikely that they really care from a morals perspective. But from a security perspective, it's something of a nightmare. It's another reason that lower-end motels and hotels, for instance, are less fussy.

[NoFucksGiven]

7 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

I'd also add that hotels, in general, frown on non-registered guests spending any significant amount of time in the hotel rooms, for a number of reasons unrelated to gay sex. For starters, there are liability insurance issues - the hotel's policy, for instance, might require that they make all reasonable efforts to keep non-guests to specific public areas like the lobby or ballrooms for events. Another might be that in the event of a fire or other disaster, a bunch of unidentified and unidentifiable bodies presents a problem. Or, say, a guest goes down to the lobby to check on some stuff, get a drink, or whatever, and leaves his door propped open slightly so that he doesn't have to deal with a key card, and one of the "party" guests peeks in, sees an expensive laptop, and ka-ching, he and it are out of there.

I don't think most hotels really care whether someone is having gay sex (as contrasted with straight sex), and unless an "event" is being advertised pretty widely, it's unlikely that they really care from a morals perspective. But from a security perspective, it's something of a nightmare. It's another reason that lower-end motels and hotels, for instance, are less fussy.

There is, of course, much sense in what you say. And, in fact, even Manchester’s lower end hotels which had become notorious for hook ups (pre-covid) started posting security guards on the doors.